A/N: Okay, so I lied when I thought there would be an in-between-episodes chapter here. LOL. We're diving right into the madness that is "A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate" so strap yourselves in... it's gonna be a bumpy ride. Thanks to everyone who leaves me a review. I really do cherish them and they usually brighten my day if I open them when I'm at work. LOL. By the way, this chapter is named after one of my favorite up-tempo Hanson songs... maybe you'll Youtube it. :D

SPECIAL THANKS to my beta. Isa, you're the bestest! -kiss-

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf, I just want to prove they can stand by each other through anything.

Chapter 34

"Lost Without Each Other"

Knowing that she was Nate Archibald's girlfriend again was an odd feeling and just how different it was to be his this time made Blair a little sad.

Their previous relationship, the one that spanned from childhood to seventeen, in comparison to their renewed commitment was hard to comprehend. It seemed impossible that the considerate, attentive Nate she was with now could have ever made her feel so ignored and alone. If the person she was back then had been dating the Nate of now, Chuck would have never entered the picture. She would have spent countless hours of bliss with such a courteous boyfriend. All she'd ever wanted was a boyfriend who texts her good morning, calls when he says he will, and kisses her goodnight as if he will be counting the seconds until he sees her again.

If only Chuck hadn't been all those things for her and more when she'd been his. It would be so much easier now to be Nate's if Chuck hadn't set the bar so much higher than Blair could have even imagined. If only she was still the Blair Waldorf that was desperately in love with Nate.

If only the Fairytale of first love was still her most fervent dream.

The week after reuniting with Nate flew by in a flurry of him opening doors and bringing her flowers, like she'd always thought a good boyfriend should, but Blair couldn't have been more miserable. It was extremely painful for her to hear Nate's effortless and constant declarations of love when it was everything she'd wanted just months ago. All she wanted now was to hear his best friend say those same words he was saying like they were going out of style. Add to that the nuisance of being hounded by her own best friend to take a pregnancy test, and it was as bad as being stuck in one of those teen soap operas. She'd never thought her life would be like this. That her honestly would be questioned by Serena when she'd attempted to undo the damage of her teary confession by telling the blonde a plausible story.

The girl that was her best friend refused to believe her without proof. This proof, of course, being in the form of a minus sign on a plastic stick. Apparently her friend had discovered Google and done some research on pregnancy, including the fact that a monthly period wasn't a sure sign you weren't with child.

The test was the only way Serena would back down and it was the only way Blair's secret would be confirmed as true. There was no way Blair was going to take the test and let her deep, dark secret surface into awareness from where she'd buried it. The prospect of seeing her fears confirmed in the form of a scientific fact was terrifying for her, even though she knew it to be true.

Serena wasn't giving up and Blair's sanity demanded that she not give in. It definitely wasn't the first time neither would budge on something and it seemed this was a game where they would be calling each other's bluff.

Nothing like gambling her reputation away on a losing hand.

What's the difference between gossip and scandal? So glad you asked UES4ever. Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and and generate a day's worth of buzz, but in order for gossip to birth a true scandal it requires the right person to be in the wrong place. Take one It-Girl on a pedestal, add a crowd eager to see her fall, and give them the means to knock her down.

When Serena approached Blair on the steps of The Met that Thursday morning, hot on the tail of Gossip Girl claiming the blonde was spotted red-handed purchasing a pregnancy test, it really shouldn't have been a shock when that same test was shoved into Blair's hands. If she wasn't so upset by all that was happening to her, she would have been more on top of Serena's moves. It wasn't often her best friend caught her off guard.

"Just take the test, B," Serena insisted.

Pushing the box away from her, Blair growled, "Stop it!"

Her best friend, the one she was this close to throwing down the stairs they were standing on, handed it right back. Serena sighed dramatically, "Just take the test. You need to know if you and Chuck are gonna have a baby." Then the taller girl looked deep into Blair's shocked eyes and gave her that look that said Blair would not win this round.

Unfortunately, by saying those words aloud, the ones that joined her name with her ex-boyfriend's and added the word baby, Serena really did have Blair right where she wanted her. The brunette was frozen for a long second, just experiencing the tingle it shot down her spine, the one she always got when she remembered she was carrying Chuck's child. That the tiny person growing inside her was part her, part him, and was made out of love before her life fell apart.

Then the world came back to her and Blair shook her head in an effort to clear the tears that had been rising in her eyes. Those tears that were the reason why she never allowed herself to think that way about the unfortunate consequence of letting herself fall in love with Chuck Bass.

Shoving the box in her bag to get it out of sight, Blair stormed away from the blonde and towards school.

The rest of the morning passed rather uneventfully, unless you count the sick feeling she got in the pit of her stomach whenever she thought of what her purse was concealing. Serena had caught her eye a couple of times, but Blair pointedly ignored her every time. And she'd been on guard so that she'd be prepared to flee if she spotted Chuck. After her almost-breakdown on the steps, her lapse in judgment, seeing him would just be too painful.

The one time that Chuck came around a corner too quickly for her to escape, she discovered she was completely right as to how hard it would be to face him. The handbag felt heavier somehow when his haunted hazel eyes met hers. And even though he didn't attempt to speak to her or follow her, it allowed his immense sadness to seep into her pores and wrench at her gut.

It was after this encounter that Blair's detour brought her to a bathroom and her breakfast decided to promptly evacuate it's contents, just as it had practically everything she'd eaten in the last week. Between her constant trips to involuntarily empty the little she'd eaten from her stomach and the loss of sleep from her heartache over Chuck or the stress of knowingly using Nate, she was sapped of energy. It was hard to concentrate in class or remember what was said. Even her favorite subjects had become yawn-inducing.

Living a lie was utterly exhausting.

After the spasms stopped, Blair left the stall and wandered to the sink to wash her hands. It took a moment after leaving the stall to realize Jenny Humphrey was staring at her reflection in the mirror, eyes carefully guarded. Blair stood next to her and straightened her hair to appear normal, but the bitch just couldn't resist.

"You doin' okay, Blair?" the young girl asked with a slight smirk.

"Bad Sashimi," Blair snapped before thinking and stormed out the door before the wannabe could question her story. In normal circumstances the explanation would be enough to control the damage, but after their confrontation that morning on The Met steps, Blair almost wouldn't blame her for tipping Gossip Girl off to Blair's visit to the little girl's room. It's what she would do in the circumstances and the thing that had her keeping Little J around was her brief moments where she reminded Blair of herself.

Oh, well, Blair could always have her best friend say something to the girl later... except that she couldn't. Serena was busy being too nosy about Blair's life for much else to fit in her social calendar. Blair pushed the entire situation out of her mind and decided to deal with it later; there was nothing she could do about it now. After school she could devote more energy to it, maybe after a nap she wouldn't feeling so drained.

After one more class it was time to meet Nate in the courtyard for lunch. He'd insisted they do this one day a week since they'd reunited, even though she'd argued that she had an obligation to be at The Met with her minions. He wouldn't be deterred so she was sharing a bench with him, discussing her accompanying him on his next visit to his father in Rehab.

"You always know how to make him laugh ," Nate had said, his eyes wide. It was the pitiful, puppy-dog look that used to make her her heart melt, but was now just slightly annoying. On the one hand, she was feeling extremely sorry for her friend Nate, with his difficult situation, but on the other, it was hard to swallow when she realized this was how he'd always treated her when he wanted something.

Between her disgust at knowing how many times that look had manipulated her and her shock at his asking for her help, she chose to comment on the latter as convincingly as possible. "Nathaniel Archibald, you've never asked me for anything and here you are, officially leaning on me!" She sold him on her gratefulness for his confidence by adding breathlessly, "This time we're gonna be so much better together."

"We already are," he responded sincerely and leaned toward her to press his lips to hers.

It was while Nate was kissing her softly that the weight of the air around her changed abruptly and the tiny hairs on her neck stood up, causing her skin to tingle. Pulling gently away from Nate she instantly locked eyes with his best friend, who was watching them from across the courtyard. Chuck must have come around the corner just in time to witness the kiss, and the desolate look on her ex-boyfriend's face stole her next breath. He looked tortured and pitiful, and he didn't even try to hide it when his eyes met hers.

There was no blow-up, no fight, no stay away from my girl like there would have been in any movie she'd ever seen, just silent endurance of her very public display of affection with Nate. All he did was stand there helplessly while she studied him from his best friend's side and waited for him to do something.

When the boy she loved quietly backed away and left her line of sight, tears began to fill her eyes, but she blinked them away as quickly as they'd risen. There was no point in allowing Nate to see her tears when the inane story he was telling wasn't capable of breaking her heart like the sliver of a second's brush with Chuck just had.

Now was the time to accept that Chuck was never going to claim her, no matter whose arm she dangled herself from in an attempt to force a confession from him. He'd walked away again, just like he had at Cotillion, just like it seemed he always would. He was too much of a coward to take what should be his and Blair needed to realize that before it completely wrecked her.

As Nate continued to ramble on about something she was too numb to feign interest in, or recall later, she sat in shock at the suffocating knowledge that was finally sinking in...

There would be no "Happily Ever After" for the story of Chuck and Blair. There was only enough ink to write "The End."

Chuck had been keeping track of how much time was passing by numbering the glasses of scotch he consumed.

After reluctantly orchestrating Blair's reunion with Nate, he'd drained his entire stock and slept until six the next evening. He'd attended a couple of parties over the weekend in an attempt to distract himself, but left each one alone. Whatever it was that had always drawn him to the lifestyle of a Playboy had lost it's luster in the fallout of his brief relationship with Blair.

He'd also avoided a dozen or so calls from his best friend out of pure self preservation. With the amount of alcohol in his system, there was no way to trust his inner censor to catch anything Chuck might say if Blair's name came up in the conversation. There was also the chance that his best friend's happiness would cause the hole in his chest to swell large enough to put him out of his misery permanently by swallowing him whole.

School passed in a blur of classes he didn't care about and people he'd push off the roof of The Palace if given the chance. There was no use flirting with every girl in sight to give Blair a taste of her own medicine because the few glimpses of her he'd caught apparently sent her running in the opposite direction.

It was almost like she couldn't take the look on his face, or to even think of him when she was busy rekindling her romance with Nate. The thought was delusional, but somehow it soothed his pain to imagine he was still under her skin that deep. Almost as if she actually cared that this was killing him.

And then he'd come around an innocent enough looking corner and walked right into his own personal level of hell. Seeing her there with Nate, looking so content and happy, signed his death certificate.

Her distressed gaze met his between sugary-sweet kisses and he hoped she saw the agony he was in. He wouldn't hide it because at that moment, no matter what he'd thought he'd wanted for her, he needed her to know the excruciating agony his life had become.

She needed to be with Nate to be happy, but he needed her away from Nate to get a moment of peace. He pushed her towards his best friend because he loved them both, but maybe he hadn't realized how much more he loved her. God, he loved her so much more than he'd ever thought himself capable of loving another person. This was a forever kind of love and there was nothing he could do to change that.

This was hell. Maybe he'd just change his address so that they'd know where to deliver the scotch.

A/N: Laying the ground work for what's to come... it's no surprise what's gonna happen next chapter. Or is it? ;)