A/N: I'm not going to waste time on a long author's note trying to explain why it's been so long between updates. The simple truth is the show hasn't made it easy to write, the way they've twisted our babies in knots. I thank the people that keep asking for updates to this, especially those who review other pieces and chant "Update If Only" in their comments. Knowing that there are still some following this is definitely incentive to keep on. You're my inspiration in these times of turmoil. This chapter is un-beta'd because, as usual, I think you've waited long enough. I'm hoping you'll excuse my human errors in the interest of getting this sooner!

SPECIAL THANKS to my co-mod. Isa, you're the bestest! -kiss- I hope you enjoy your extremely belated birthday present, hun.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf, I just want to prove they can stand by each other through anything.

Chapter 35

"Day Has Come"

As days go, this one seemed to be the longest one yet for Blair. She'd sat through her classes as the teachers droned on and she couldn't concentrate on a word they'd said. Both the box in her purse and Chuck's face were haunting her and seemed to be all she could see. A white board with math equations just couldn't hold her interest against those obstacles.

The fact that all Chuck had done was stand there was the last thing on her mind.

Once free from school, she couldn't deter Nate's determination to walk her home. He kept saying what a beautiful day it was and grabbing her hand if she managed to get it from his grasp. It was strange, since Nate had never been pushy with her. He'd always taken what she'd said or done at face value and offered no resistance.

It happened again when he wanted to ride the elevator up with her, not taking no for an answer. Then when he wanted to go upstairs with her.

When Nate leaned in to kiss her, to try and change her mind, she turned her head. Unfortunately that just meant his mouth landed on her throat. Which made her want to gag even more than the actual kiss would have... the way she felt every time he touched her, actually.

Pulling away gently, she sighed for dramatic effect. "I'm really tired, Nate. I'm going to sleep. There's no point."

"Come on, Blair. I haven't been upstairs since we got back together." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body against his, his puppy-dog eyes steady on hers. "Haven't I been punished enough?"

He was pretending to be innocent, that his only thought wasn't on getting her naked, but it was crystal clear for Blair. After Cotillion, she should have known. Nate had been waiting for her with a hotel room and she'd only fallen into the trap because of Chuck. And then she'd pushed him away because of Chuck, but he thought it was punishment for some ancient wrong that she couldn't even pinpoint.

Something so unimportant to her that she'd forgotten it.

So that's what this was about. He'd been a perfect gentleman because he thought there was a reason to be, not because he'd done some growing up or seen the errors in their prior relationship as clearly as she had. That's why he'd been buying her flowers, walking her home from school, asking for her to visit his father with him...

"I can't believe you!" She shoved him away violently. "That's your agenda? Acting as sweet as possible because I haven't slept with you?"

He shrugged. "Was I wrong to think we'd pick up where we left off after the ball?"

She wanted to slap him; it was so hard not to strike him then. He referenced that night like it was any other, the night that changed her life so completely. To hear him speak as if he'd been the damaged party was unbearable.

"I want you to leave, Nate," she whispered, afraid of her tone if she spoke out loud. Inside she was seething.

Nate shook his head. "No. We're finally talking about this. I'm not going anywhere until I get an answer. Why do you always push me away, Blair?"

Her heart twisted in her chest at the reason why, tears welling up in her eyes. "I can't tell you that." She threw her head from side to side violently. "Don't make me," she squeaked as she backed away.

He caught her arm before she got too far away. "What happened to 'we'll be so much better this time,' Blair? Why are you doing this?"

Chuck's face loomed in her vision, first from the stairs at Cotillion, then then from today in the courtyard, both as he watched her kissing his best friend. "I just can't do this anymore, Nate. It's over."

The tears overflowed with a sob, and he pulled her into his arms, supposedly to comfort her. She fought her way free again and wrapped her arms around her own body, crying quietly.

"Blair..."

Lifting her tired eyes to Nate's confused face broke her resolve. He truly had no idea. No matter what she'd done to give herself away, he really didn't know and it wasn't fair to him. It never had been.

This had to end.

"I fell in love with someone else while we were apart," she said brokenly.

Nate's face wasn't quite as shocked as she thought it would be, but his tone was still flat with disbelief. "What?"

"You're my first love, but I'm not in love with you anymore. These past few weeks have been perfect, but I've been using you to lie to myself. I thought if you and I tried again, I'd be distracted and my heart wouldn't hurt so much, but it's making it worse." His face was so shocked at her confession, she had to take a breath to steady herself. "Which is why we can't be together, okay? It's not fair to you and I'm sorry."

He was fishing for words. "I make you that miserable?"

She reached out, brushing her fingertips down the right arm of his jacket, her mouth forming a self-deprecating smirk. "I make me that miserable. What I've done. It's not you, Nate." She lightly squeezed his forearm. "You've been wonderful."

Nate covered her hand with his left, searching her eyes with his own. "Who is it, Blair?"

Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "It doesn't matter."

"You won't tell me?"

A tear slipped down her cheek. "I ruined it so throughly you'll never have to worry about it."

He nodded to himself, but wasn't necessarily convinced. "I guess I'll just go."

With that he walked into the elevator and out of her life.

Blair allowed herself a moment sigh and bask in relief. She'd finally having faced the truth; no more lying to Nate, no more lying to herself.

She scribbled a note for Dorota not to let anyone disturb her, including Serena, before trudging up the stairs. A nap was what she needed. Sleep would help clear her head and help her face what she knew she must do: she was going to open that damned cardboard box and do what Serena had been bugging her to do all day. Once it confirmed what she'd known as truth for so long now, she could start to deal with the repercussions.

As she fell into her bed fully clothed, she wondered if Nate's first call would be Chuck and if it would make any difference to him that she was single again.

Life since reuniting Blair and Nate was pretty uneventful for Chuck Bass. He went to school, he caught a glimpse of Blair, he waited the day out and then went back to his suite and drunk himself into an oblivion. Problem with that was, it was taking more alcohol to dull the pain than it used to. Well, it was either that or it hurt him more with each day.

Both options sucked in equal measure.

He didn't deal with this thing in his previous life. The one where he ruined the reputations of numerous girls without any of the emotional consequences. Now he was stuck in the cycle and didn't know how to break it. He used to be impervious to heartache.

Used to being the operative words.

So he went about his usual routine after school, except this time he'd walked into an emotional minefield and accidentally caught Nate and Blair in mid-kiss. The sight had of course opened up the wound all over again and sent his mood into a tailspin. The anguish pumping through his veins today wouldn't be cooled with the swilled scotch and flipped the channels on his television. Not that he was interested in anything he found there anyway, nothing that could distract him.

Not even the porn.

He was about to give up and move his drinking to the Hotel bar, just for a change of scenery, when there was a knock on his door. Placing his glass down on the table in front of his couch, he was turning the knob after a few steps to swing the barrier open.

"Hi, Chuck," Serena greeted him as if she didn't want to be there, her hands gripping tightly to the handbag in her palms

After all that he'd said to his future step-sister-slash-Blair's-best-friend, finding her on the other side of his threshold put him on the immediate defensive. This girl was most likely a spy for Blair, yet he ended up incriminating himself every time he spoke with her. She was the only person he'd ever confessed his feelings for Blair to. For all that he knew, she had already squealed and Blair was reveling in his misery.

So he made his first offensive move by saying something he knew would unnerve her. "Please, call me brother."

She rolled her eyes at him, unmoved. "I need to talk to you."

"About getting knocked up?" He sneered, trying again to make her ill at ease. She shifted from one foot to the other.

He doubted the blast was true, but the way she reacted to that attack meant something was up. Why did the words make her so uncomfortable? His curiosity was what caused him to wave her inside of his room. "I must say, I was a little disappointed you weren't more careful."

Leaving the door open, he strode over to the bar to offer her a drink, assuming she would follow and close the door behind herself.

She scooted onto one of the stools. "Chuck, I really need to trust you." Making eye contact with him through the mirror that had been once again placed over the bar, she sighed. "I'm hoping that deep down inside you're actually a decent person and won't make me regret this. Actually, I know you are because this isn't about me..."

"You're here for Blair, aren't you?" His heart sank a few notches, hoping she didn't notice. If this mission was from Blair, there had to be only one reason for Serena's presence. One thing that would make Blair send an emissary to control an unsavory detail from being broadcast. "I'm not going to tell Nate about us," he droned, "I tortured her, got board, moved on."

Serena was undeterred. "There's no moving on just yet." She sighed heavily. "The pregnancy test wasn't for me, it was for Blair."

"What?" It felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under him. And that the rug had been covering a hole.

This was certainly an unexpected twist.

He ran through his head the countless times they'd made love, trying to pinpoint the moment they'd been careless, but he couldn't. There were close calls, but they'd always been careful in the end. They'd always taken that precaution.

And then he remembered Nate. It was the final piece of proof that Blair had slept with Nate at Cotillion. Blair dating Nate because he pushed them back together.

He almost tried pinching himself to wake from this nightmare.

It seemed that Serena had still been talking while his world was burning to the ground. "She won't take it. So given, if she's pregnant, you're the father..."

The word father echoed in his ears. Father of Blair's baby. Blair carrying his child. Somehow that wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen to him.

If only it wasn't so far from the truth.

"No." He shook his head sadly. "We used condoms."

She slapped the surface of the bar softly. "Well, obviously it broke!"

The sorrow was swallowing him, making it hard to breath. He patted her hand gently. "What is obvious is that your best friend has kept you in the dark."

Serena glanced from where he'd touched her to his face, her eyes filled with concern. "What are you talking about?"

"I said I handle my business..." he trailed off and stared across the room. "Apparently Nate doesn't." Sighing, he finished, "It's him you should be asking for help."

A hand reached across the bar and gripped the lapel of his sweater, causing his eyes to snap to hers. She gave him a little shake. "Stop saying that!"

"It's the only explanation, Serena." He pulled away from her. "The only way this makes any sense."

Serena's face was incredulous. "Except that it doesn't make any sense, Chuck. She couldn't have done what you refuse to believe she didn't do. Why don't you ask Nate? Has he said specifically that he and Blair slept together that night?"

His face went blank. "It's been inferred, Serena. That's enough."

"What I know about that night is that Nate called me looking for her. They had fallen asleep and she was gone when he woke up. I found her in 1812, where she couldn't stop crying."

"So?"

Serena's eyes flashed in fury. "So, she went looking for you, was crying for you. Nate was the furthest thing from her mind and still is, even though she's dating him." Taking a breath, she continued more calmly, "She's still in love with you, Chuck, which means that relationship going to implode as soon as it happened. It's doomed."

"I still don't hear anything concrete," Chuck responded, hesitant, trying not to let her words raise any hope in his heart.

"You're wrong about this," she argued gently. "If you still don't believe me, then ask Nate. You owe it to Blair. And once you finally understand that she never slept with him, the two of you can tackle this pregnancy thing together. You're the only one she'll listen to."

When Serena walked out, Chuck's head continued to spin around. She'd dug a chunk out of the ground under his feet and planted a seed of doubt. The fact that Nate had never explicitly announced he'd finally taken his long time girlfriend's virginity was suddenly very suspicious. Perhaps he should just go to the source. He probably should have done so a long time ago, but the idea had always been too painful a prospect.

Now that he'd believed it for so long, would it really be so hard to have it confirmed as reality? Especially if Serena turned out to be right about his error?

What if she is right?

Then, as if a dare to finally take this into his own hands, his phone rang and the air filled with tone he'd chosen for Nate.

I wish that I had Jessie's girl; where can I find a woman like that...

Chuck never had been a big fan of subtlety.

He carefully depressed the call button and placed the phone to his ear. "What's new, Archibald?"

A/N: I know it probably wasn't worth the wait, what with the necessary evil of resolving NB, but I'm hoping you enjoyed it anyway! Now that I solved that wrinkle, here's hoping next chapter isn't so far away.