A/N: Well, my life is completely different from the last time I posted a chapter. And that's understandable, considering how long ya'll have waited for this. I don't have any other reason for making you wait other than life is busy. I hope you will forgive me and allow me to continue to write for you. It really is one of my favorite things to do... just not something I always have time for. BIG HUGS for those who are still with me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my darling Isabel. She couldn't have hoped I would get this posted for her on her actual birthday! SURPRISE MY DEAR!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gossip Girl, Chuck Bass, or Blair Waldorf. I just want to prove that two people, who are meant to be together, will find their way back to each other when the timing is right.

Chapter 39

"The Walk"

The wheels had been turning in Blair's head since her lunchtime fiasco, where she'd been forced to watch what used to be her minions shun her and walk off. To add insult to injury, she'd also discovered it was Little J that had sent the Gossip Girl tip that was currently ruining her life. The younger girl's words had been echoing through her head for hours, reminding her that she was exactly where she didn't want to be: at the bottom. Even if the the truth about her pregnancy wasn't public knowledge, she was still a social outcast after that blast, her personal life broadcast to the masses.

And now she still had to figure out how to deal with Serena's betrayal.

Blair had been placidly ignoring Serena, regarding her with as little notice as possible for the rest of the school day. She wasn't sure how to feel about the knowledge that it was Serena's fault that Jenny was even privy to Blair's private relationship with Chuck in the first place. Any other day Blair's first response would be anger, but it was tears she was fighting; there was this overwhelming sadness enveloping her, knowing that her best friend could share such damaging information with someone liable to use it in a way that would hurt her so deeply.

Even now, walking home beside her best friend, Blair couldn't decide how to broach the subject with her blond counterpart. Each time she took a breath to speak she had to stop, swallowing back the tears. After spending the morning watching Chuck go through a brutal fight with Nate, the two friends who'd been as close as siblings on two sides of an unfathomable rift, all she could think was that this wasn't supposed to be happening to her.

She wasn't supposed to lose her best friend today, too.

They were walking next to a nondescript brick building, on a stretch of sidewalk somewhere between school and The Palace. After several long moments of silence, and some odd looks thrown her way by the blond, Serena finally spoke up. "What's going on, B? You've been so quiet."

Focusing on breathing evenly, Blair asked calmly, "What would you like me to say, S?" She was very proud of herself for not missing a step. It was taking all her concentration to keep walking and not break down. It was hard to imagine that this dirty stretch of street was where years of friendship would end.

Serena threw her hands up in the air. "Oh, I don't know. Your life was kind of busy today." She counted one with a finger from her right hand. "You kissed Chuck in the courtyard after fighting with him for a month, so there's that." She added a second finger to the first. "There was the fight between both your ex-boyfriends that the whole school saw." Then a third finger popped up next to the the two already standing. "Then we can't forget that Gossip Girl blast that was pretty much your worst ever fear come to life."

Blair decided to try and postpone the inevitable, so she kept walking without a word; Serena grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Pick one, Blair!" With a sympathetic look on her face, she pleaded, "Talk to me; I'm your best friend."

Closing her eyes, Blair sighed. "That's what I used to think," she spoke evenly as she took several steps. Spinning to face Serena, she met the other girls eyes steadily as she finished: "Today you might as well be my worst enemy."

The blond stopped in her tracks, calling after Blair, "What's that supposed to mean?" She didn't try to catch up. Almost like she couldn't be bothered.

The renegade tears were welling up again and this time one slipped past Blair's defenses. She was trying so hard to be strong, but her accusation came out as a defeated whisper. "I can't believe you told Jenny about me and Chuck..."

"What?!" Serena took two steps forward, "I didn't!"

"She's the one who sent the tip to Gossip Girl... little wannabe bitch told me herself." Tears were flowing freely now and Blair paused to swipe them away from her cheek. "And now, because of her, everybody knows the intimate details of my private life. You were the only person who knew Chuck and I were involved." She sniffed, "It had to be you."

"But I didn't tell Jenny," Serena responded, starting to sound panicked. "I don't know how she found out!"

"Frankly, S... I don't care anymore," Blair replied, mournfully. "My reputation is ruined; I was publicly humiliated at school and at the Met, Nate was hurt, and, as much as I want to forgive him," her lip trembled, "I'm not ready to let Chuck back in. I can't even trust you, now... I've lost everything."

Serena was silent for awhile, staring off into space and looking desolate. Eventually she whispered one word: "Dan."

"What?" Blair asked with a cry, tears coloring her voice.

Now was the moment that her best friend's betrayal would be confirmed by the blonde herself.

The other girl reached out, closing the distance between them with her hand on Blair's arm. "I told Dan; you weren't dealing with the pregnancy scare and I wanted advice on how to help you." Then Serena shook her head, supposedly in disbelief. "I had no idea that-"

Blair bit down on her words, cutting Serena off. "You didn't think that he would tell his social-climbing sister who wears my hand-me-downs so that she could blab it to the world."

When Serena opened her traitorous mouth, no doubt to defend one of the Humphreys, Blair raised her hands in a surrender that remembered the friends they used to be. "Like I said, S... I don't care. I only brought it up because I wanted you to be perfectly clear on why I'm doing this."

"Doing what, Blair?"

For a second Serena looks confused as Blair leaned in and pulled her into a hug. After a giving herself a second to mourn a life-long friendship, she whispered, "Goodbye, S."

Then she walked away in whatever direction that she was facing, ignoring the desperate sound of her former best friend calling her name.

The further she walked a way from Serena, the more resolute Blair became: it was time to escape this town. If she couldn't count on her supposed best friend's support and discretion to get her to the end of the school year, there was no way she was going to survive the emotional ramifications of her situation... not without breaking-down and giving in.

Not without bringing Chuck into it.

Even if his earlier comment about his reaction to her possible pregnancy made that the most tempting idea she'd had all day, she still couldn't give in to it. She had to think about more than just her own wants, her own needs, her own urge to breakdown and cry into his shoulder, to tell him everything. Telling him wasn't an option until she decided she was ready to keep this baby, to be responsible for life beyond her own, to be a mother at seventeen.

A mother.

The piercing fear in her gut at facing her judgmental peers and her controlling mother, the thought of pulling a Madonna and telling them she was gonna keep her baby... it wasn't difficult to make-up her mind to flee. She was leaving for Lyon on the first flight that would take her. It was time to call daddy and get out of here.

And then she had one errand to run before she went home to pack for the longest plane ride of her life. Be it private, commercial, or cargo.

By the end of her international phone call, Blair had wandered all the way to Central Park. There, sitting on a bench in Strawberry Fields, was a familiar blond figure, one that looked bereft and confused as he stared off into the distance.

Nate's head snapped up in surprise when she sat down, astonished to see who was beside him. He'd obviously not expect anyone to find him in this place, which he'd only shared with his ex-best friend.

Before he could chase her away, Blair launched a preemptive strike. "The first thing that you need to know is this: I never cheated on you. When I was with you, I was separated from Chuck. The fact that you didn't know we were seeing each other wasn't ideal, but it wasn't as wrong as it could've been." She sighed, "We never meant to hurt you."

"What are you doing here, Blair?" His accusatory tone was much less than welcoming, making it hard to know where to start. This was a conversation that they clearly needed to have; if she was going to leave for France, she couldn't leave without at least trying to fix her friendship with Nate.

And, hopefully, begin to mend Chuck's friendship with him as well.

Taking a deep breath, she decided that there was only one way to begin; where this whole mess had started, where she'd always felt at home with Nate. So she quietly replied, "I was hoping we could talk about us."

"There is no us, Blair!" He spat vehemently, pushing himself up to stand. "You made sure of that."

She remained seated, her hands folded demurely in her lap. Non-threateningly, she suggested: "I think we both know it was over between us a long time ago, Nate. I just thought I owed it to what we were to set the record straight." She sighed at the angry set of his jaw, opening her hands in surrender. "And because I still consider you to be one of my best friends, even with all we've been through."

"Friends, Blair?!" Nate asked in shock. "You slept with my best friend, behind my back, for months! Someone you knew and hated!" His hands flew wildly through the air as he spoke. "How could you expect to be friends when I can't stand to look at him and I can't believe I'm even having this conversation with you?" He was so upset, the words came out more strained as he spoke, his pitch rising until his voice practically squeaked in question as he finished.

Even though Blair felt terrible for his reaction, she was determined to make him understand.

"Honestly, Nate," she smiled softly and spoke timidly, "even knowing how much you're hurt, I don't regret breaking up with you." He looked a little addled by her response, so she continued. "We just weren't right for each other, other than as first loves... and that's what you'll always be for me." When she saw his face had begun to soften, she reached out for his hand. "When you slept with Serena, something changed between us: we began to grow apart." She smirked, "no matter how much I tried to fight it."

When he opened his mouth, she raised her hand to silence him. "I'm not angry or blaming you for what happened between you and Serena; I'm just stating a fact." She took a deep breath before whispering, "And I never hated Chuck." Digging deeply for the strength to keep her tears at bay, she continued, "He's always been someone who spoke my language in a way you never did, so when you and I broke up that night, I went to him in friendship." Blair smiled at the memory of champagne and burlesque for a moment. "We somehow stumbled into more and I did try to stop it. I had hoped that you'd be at my birthday party so that we could make-up, but when you didn't come, Chuck and I continued to see each other."

Nate pulled his hand from hers and finally took his place again on the bench beside her. Like the air had been deflated from his lungs and he couldn't stand any longer.

He looked up at her in confusion, "This really is my fault."

"Nate..."

"No, it is. I chose not to show up. It's like I pushed you toward him," he finished, an incredulous light in his eyes.

She took his hand and smiled tenderly at her simple-minded childhood sweetheart. "You didn't make me fall in love with him, you didn't make me date him for a month..."

Curiosity lit his face, "A month? You're not together?"

Not trusting her voice to keep steady, Blair shook her head.

Nate tilted his head with narrowed eyes. "That's what it looked like today... Why aren't you together?"

Blair felt her eyes start to water, the night of Cotillion so far in her rear-view, yet still so clear; her life had changed so much since then. Nate noticed her tears and put his arm around her back, so she gave him a watery smile. "It was a stupid misunderstanding at Cotillion."

"The night you kissed me?" He seemed to consider it for a moment before he exclaimed, "Oh, God!"

"What is it?"

"I winked at him," he replied with a frown on his face. "I saw him on the staircase while we were kissing and I winked at him."

"I felt so guilty, just lying there next to you." A tear escaped down Blair's cheek. " That's why I went to find him, but he was gone... That was the night he left for Monaco. "

"It was weird that he wasn't hooking-up with girls in Monaco, but I didn't..." Nate's thought trailed off when he saw the look on Blair's face, reflecting her inner relief at that revelation.

Nate's hand came to her cheek, where he was studying her intently. "So he really wasn't playing with you? You're sure?"

"He never said it, but I know he loves me. I'm sure about it, in a way that I was never sure with you." She brushed the bangs out of his eyes, her vision blurring. "With you I always needed to hear the words."

Nate nodded, wrapping her in his arms. For the first time in awhile Blair didn't feel like it was something he was doing to manipulate her. "So why are you telling me this? The real reason, Blair."

She sniffled, the onslaught of tears constant, the thought of leaving and her mission here already breaking her. "After the way I was humiliated today, I've decided to finish the semester in France." Nate's arms around her tightened. "I won't be back until Fall and I couldn't leave without knowing that you were at least trying to forgive him." She gave a watery laugh, "Especially since it wasn't totally his fault in the first place.

Pulling back to meet his eyes, which seemed to be forming their own glistening shield, she continued, "If it hadn't been for our tiff at Cotillion, we would have told you together weeks ago. That was the plan. And at least then Chuck and I would have each other..." She looked away, across the meadow as she blinked back the tears. "I need to know you'll be here for him while I'm gone."

A/N: Oh, big things are coming, big things... I'm nervous. Don't throw heavy stuff at me, okay? Bubbles and marshmallows are okay. I deserve it. I hope you liked it anyway. :-)