"So I'll see you soon" Michonne said to Carl the next morning, as she stood in front of the factory, about to head back to Alexandria.

"How soon?" Carl asked uncertainly. He was skeptical about whether Michonne would ever come back to the factory, or if his father would really let him come visit her.

"Pretty soon" Michonne said, "I mean it, this isn't the last you'll see of me. And thanks for talking to your dad on my behalf. I owe you."

"No you don't" Carl said seriously, "that was payback for what you did for me. I probably owe you even more."

"Stop it" Michonne said, placing her hand on the back of Carl's neck. "Let's just call us even."

Carl smiled and nodded, and Michonne patted him on the shoulder.

Rick approached with Judith in his arms. He gave Michonne a nod and a brief smile. Michonne nodded back, and felt a heat in her cheeks when she thought back to their almost kiss.

Carl once again looked suspiciously between Rick and Michonne as the two of them locked eyes with each other.

"Bye Michonne" Carl said, drawing the two of them out of their staring match.

"Yea. Bye" Rick mimicked.

Michonne nodded at the small family again before turning and walking away.

She approached the car that was waiting to take her back to Alexandria. She walked up to the door and opened it. Just when she was about to climb into the passenger seat she saw the person who would be driving her and paused, her outstretched hand dropping to her side.

"Expectin' someone else?" Merle asked cheerily before he let out a chuckle.

Michonne rolled her eyes and continued to climb into the high jeep, staring straight ahead as she slammed the door.

Merle smiled at her for a few more seconds before starting the car and rolling down the driveway that led away from the factory.

"What?" he asked a few minutes into the drive, "I thought we put the past behind us."

Michonne leaned her head against the window, wanting to be anywhere but trapped in a car with this man for the next few hours.

"Y'know, Andrea was all tore up when you left Woodbury" Merle said. He knew it'd catch Michonne's attention. Michonne couldn't help but listen to his words, her head lifting off the side window slightly.

"Yea, Blondie was sad for about a day, maybe two. But the Governor, he took her mind right off of you."

Michonne rolled her eyes again and pressed her forehead back on the window.

"People make all kinds of bad decisions when they're lonely. You should know that" Merle said, turning to look at Michonne.

"Is that what you did?" Michonne asked, still not looking in Merle's direction, "is that why you were with the Governor?"

"Maybe" Merle said with a shrug, "beats living out in the woods by yourself. That's why you're with these Alexandrians right? Like I said before, when I shot you it weren't nothin' personal. It was just business. I did think you were dead, but I hoped you weren't. I had to admire your resourcefulness. The way you killed off all my guys, it kinda scared the shit out of me."

"Hmmph" Michonne mumbled.

"I bet if we didn't meet the Governor first, and you and I found the prison separately, we would've gotten along eventually."

"I doubt that" Michonne muttered.

"Or, if you'd played nice with the Governor and he wanted you to stay, you probably would've fit right in as one of my lieutenants. We have a lot in common you and I."

Michonne turned her head towards Merle and glared at him. "That never would've happened" she spat.

Merle chuckled and nodded his head. "Nah, I guess it wouldn't've. We wouldn't've gotten along nearly as well as you and the sheriff."

MIchonne cut her eyes back towards the window.

"Nope, not at all" Merle continued. "You and the boy are like peas in a pod. And the sheriff? A blind man could see through him. Sayin' he would kill you if the Alexandrians tried something? Hmmph. Ain't no way."

Michonne didn't bother to look at Merle, but his words were bothering her. Was the connection between she and Rick that obvious to everyone?

"Hey, when I said you and Blondie were all cuddled up in the forest before, I was just yankin' your chain, but for real though, did you and her have something goin' on?" Merle asked curiously.

Michonne slowly turned her head towards Merle and looked him up and down. She then said with a straight face, "I guess you'll never know."

Merle's head snapped to Michonne in surprise. "What? No. You're just playin' with me right?"

Michonne, glad that she'd taken Merle by surprise, resumed her vigil of looking out the window.

"Hey, are you joking? You're joking, right?" he asked again, almost pleading for her to elaborate. Michonne, enjoying the agony on his face continued her silence with a smirk.

***Can08writer***

Two hours later, she and Merle rolled up to the gates of Alexandria. She had to hold back a smile at how relieved she was to be back for good. It was a conflicting emotion since she also was missing Carl and Judith (and maybe even Rick) already.

"Have fun" Merle said, as if he were dropping his child off at school. Michonne rolled her eyes at him and let out an annoyed sigh as she climbed out of the Jeep and approached the gates, Merle turning his car around and driving off.

The gates were closed and she couldn't see anyone on watch. She raised her fist and knocked on the gates loudly. She could hear no sounds for a few seconds, and then she heard whispering coming from the other side of the gates.

"Should we open it?" someone said.

Michonne frowned.

"The car left, I think she's staying" someone else answered.

"I can hear you, and open the gate" Michonne said angrily. What the hell was going on?

Whoever was on the other side of the gate left her standing outside for a few more minutes, causing her anger to reach higher and higher heights until she heard the sound of the gates unlocking and being pulled back slightly.

Negan poked his head through the semi-open gate.

"You're back" he said, his voice not noting any emotion.

"I am" Michonne said, nodding. "Am I welcome here?"

Negan moved out the way and let her into the gates. Two Alexandrians, neither of which she knew the names of looked at her suspiciously, and she knew they must've been the ones she heard talking on the other side of the gate.

Michonne glanced around her and saw the streets of Alexandria were empty except for those on watch. The sounds of children playing, and people going about their business was noticeably silenced. Michonne knew something was wrong.

"What's going on?" she asked Negan, "where is everyone?".

Negan practically snarled at Michonne. "Out making bullets for Rick. what do you think we've been doing since you left?"

"Since I left?" Michonne asked, instantly getting angry. "I didn't leave, I was taken. Or did you forget?"

"You didn't seem to be taken when I got over there" Negan said, his voice raising too. "You didn't seem to want to get out of there. It looked like they treated you pretty damn good" Negan said, his eyes wandering over her body.

"What? Were your feelings hurt because they didn't torture me? How dare you!" Michonne screamed, her eyes flashing. "I was there to protect you and everyone else here. I was there to prevent you from being killed."

"When i tried to save you, you told me not to" Negan countered.

"Because you weren't saving me!" Michonne yelled. She then lowered her voice when she realized everyone by the gates were staring at her.

"You were going to go on a suicide mission, and you were gonna get everyone else killed. I wanted you not to attack The Family because I didn't want you and everyone else to die."

"So what you said about not loving me? Was that true?" Negan asked softly, his eyes narrowing and staring at her.

Michonne met his eyes and then looked away. Negan stared at her for a few seconds and then looked away as well.

"You can have the guest room if you still want to stay in our house" Negan said, turning his back on her. He then walked away.

***Can08writer***

Michonne sat on her bed in the guest room of what used to be her home with Negan. She hadn't seen him for the rest of the day and their home was dead silent. Disturbingly silent. Usually, she had no problem being alone. Before she'd met Negan on the road she was alone all the time. And although she did enjoy his company, she also enjoyed the moments when she was by herself. But now, now that she was alone she had a lot to think about. Too much. She couldn't stop her mind from focusing on Carl and Judith. And, as an extension, Rick.

She was shocked at how much she already missed Carl. If she was at the factory right now they'd probably be hanging out in the library reading something, or she'd be watching his target practice with Sasha. Or, maybe she'd be eating dinner with Rick and the rest of the family. She didn't want Carl to feel like she'd abandoned him, or their whole relationship was a lie.

'Kind of how Negan feels' she thought.

And was Negan wrong? She didn't think she was using him when she first met him. She didn't think anything at all. He was the only person she'd come across in so long, her whole life was just the two of them.

Negan fulfilled a need in her life, and she did in his, and that was all there was to it. She didn't take the time to think about whether she loved him or not, because it didn't matter. He was warm, he was comforting, he was someone she could count on, and he was alive. He fit all the criteria she needed at the time.

Even when they settled here in Alexandria, it was just assumed that they'd be together, they'd live together. And there was no one else that she wanted to live with, so it wasn't a problem. She was happy with him, she was content, but now that she thought about it, she never completely let Negan in. She didn't tell him about Andre. She didn't tell him about Andrea or her past. Their relationship, or more accurately their friendship, was superficial. She didn't realize it then, but she realized it now.

But the worst part was he didn't think it was. He had opened up to her, but she didn't do the same for him. He accepted that she didn't want to talk about what had happened to her and allowed her to keep her walls up.

Carl was the first person who made her want to begin to take her walls down and she had, a little bit. Holding Judith was a balm to her hurting soul. She had never dealt with Andre's death, but Judith helped her begin. And Rick… she still was unsure of what she felt towards him, but she knew that it was different than what she felt with Negan. She was content with Negan, but she felt something more for Rick. Like… she wanted to take down some of her walls with him. Maybe it was because he had a family. Maybe it was because of the way he wanted to protect his children. It was something she couldn't explain. Something she couldn't understand. She should hate him, but she didn't. And that last night at his house she'd wanted to kiss him. She still did.

The sound of the front door opening and closing brought her back to reality. Negan was back. She could hear him walking through the kitchen and opening the refrigerator. Michonne didn't know what to do. She knew she'd have to talk to him eventually, but she didn't know what she'd say. She had never had an opportunity to think about her future before. It was always just live, survive, survive, and then live. This man had stood by her in her darkest times, and she didn't want to hurt him, but she also didn't want to lie to him. She decided she would hide in her room until she had to confront him.

Michonne went into her bathroom and took a long shower, hoping to ease her mind and help her come up with a way she could express her feelings to Negan without hurting him. When she got out, she wrapped a towel around her body and opened the bathroom door, and was startled to see Negan sitting on her bed, waiting for her.

"What are you doing!" Michonne yelped in surprise.

"Oh shit, sorry. I didn't mean to fucking scare you" he said, hopping off the bed.

Michonne held her hand to her chest trying to calm down.

"You want me to come back?" Negan asked.

Michonne took a deep breath. "No, it's fine" she said quickly, but in reality it wasn't fine. She still hadn't worked out how to tell him what she'd decided.

He sat back down on the bed, and a silence settled between them. Michonne felt awkward and naked standing in front of Negan in nothing but her towel. She had gotten dressed in front of Negan dozens of times before and it'd never bothered her, but now, it just felt awkward.

Something wasn't the same, and she now recognized what it was. She was falling for Rick Grimes. Against all odds. After everything that had gone down, and she knew that Negan was going to be livid when she told him.

"I shouldn't have come at you the way I did when you got here" Negan started off.

"Its okay" Michonne said quickly.

"No, its not. You're right, you didn't leave, you were kidnapped. And I'm sorry for confusing that. I know it had to be hard, living with them. And I know you didn't want me to attack them for my sake. I shouldn't've said what I said. You've been my whole world for a long time, and when they took you, it was hard. But I realized I put the pressure of my whole world on your shoulders and you didn't ask for that." Negan stood and crossed his arms against his chest. "I can be an asshole sometimes, as you're well aware, and I'm sorry."

Michonne clutched her towel against herself as she listened to Negan. He seemed sincere, making her feel worse about her own feelings.

"It's okay. You were my whole world too" Michonne said to Negan, and he paused and narrowed his eyes again.

"I was your whole world? What changed?" Negan asked.

Michonne's eyes narrowed. "Look, I don't think it's a good idea if we talk right now. Everything I say you're trying to twist around" she said.

"I want to know what the fuck happened to you over there. Did they hurt you? Did you learn anything useful? Are there any targets we should focus on? Something! I don't know what's been going on with you for the past week! I fucking care about you Michonne, and that son of a bitch took you away and I was worried. Fuck, why did he even let you go?" Negan asked, throwing his hands up in frustration. He wanted something from her, what exactly he wasn't sure, but something.

Michonne walked over to her closet and pulled out a robe. She couldn't continue this conversation in a towel. Negan stared at her as she wrapped the robe around her body, and then let the towel fall to the floor. He noticed that she remained covered the entire time. Something she'd never done with him before.

"They didn't hurt me" Michonne said.

"So what did they… he… do to you?" Negan asked. "C'mon Michonne, why the fuck are you so silent about this?"

Michonne held her robe together with her arms that were crossed against her chest. She still felt vulnerable, but she sucked it up. She had to be honest with Negan, he deserved that much.

"They locked me up for a while. Once you brought those walkers over I was helping them clear them away, and Rick's son…"

"Rick has a son?" Negan exclaimed. "That's fucking great! Maybe we can use that…"

"No!" Michonne said sharply. "We're not going to go after his son. We don't do that. What's wrong with you?"

"In case you haven't noticed, our people are working like slaves to make those bullets that Rick collects every few weeks. It's pretty much all we have time to do. This peace you think our communities have is resting on our backs."

"We can talk to them. They don't know how hard this is for us. I didn't know. We can compromise with them."

"You're defending him?" Negan asked.

"No. But no one is going after children" Michonne said in a voice that let him know she was serious. "Rick's son was good to me. He's a good kid. I got to know him a lot."

"So let me get this straight. While Rick was holding you prisoner you became besties with his son?!"

"Just shut up and let me finish!" Michonne shot back, getting as annoyed as Negan was. "I saw how things work there. They're not bad people Negan. They're human beings, they're trying to survive like we are. Rick will listen to reason. We may be able to negotiate…"

"What the fuck did they do to you Michonne?" Negan asked in disgust. "Did they brainwash you? Did they torture you in that cell and make you fucking forget that Rick murdered Jesus? That he kept us prisoner in our own town for days? That they're still bullying the Hilltop for food?"

"I didn't forget" Michonne said, stepping towards Negan. "I didn't forget what they did for one second, but did you forget what we did to them? That we murdered 25 of their people while they slept? We've done more to them than they've done to us. We can end this conflict with negotiation, not war. We'd never stand a chance in a war against them."

"What's the real reason you wanna negotiate Michonne?" Negan asked, taking a step towards her menacingly. "You want to protect his son don't you? You're worried more about his son than your own people! Or is it more than his son? You seemed pretty content there while I was a prisoner. Did something else catch your fancy? Someone else?"

Michonne bristled. "What are you accusing me of Negan?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"You've been different. Ever since I saw you that night. You went there one version of Michonne, and came back another. And I know it has something to do with Rick. I know it. Just tell me Michonne. What is happening between you and him? After all the shit we've been through I deserve the truth."

Michonne moistened her lips and looked away. She then slowly met Negan's eyes.

"I just got to know them. They're not monsters."

"And we are?" Negan asked, looking for a fight.

"No. That's why we need to negotiate."

"And?" Negan asked, not believing that was the only thing Michonne had to say.

"And… I think… I have feelings for him" Michonne finally stated.

"Feelings?" Negan asked, appalled. "Feelings? What the fuck, Michonne? What kind of fucking feelings do you have for Rick? Rick! Are you fucking kidding me? You're gonna leave me over that limp dicked motherfucker? What, did he give you the fucking of a lifetime or something? His dick bigger than mine?"

"No" Michonne said, "Nothing happened like that."

"Then what the fuck happened!" Negan screamed, getting in her face. "He took you prisoner! And when you left you were my girl. And now you're his?"

Negan looked like she'd punched him in the gut. He took a step back from her and rubbed the back of his head.

"Holy shit" he said in disbelief. "So Rick motherfucking Grimes made you realize that you love him?"

"I didn't say that" Michonne said in her defense.

"So what are you fucking saying?"

"I don't know. I'm just being honest with you Negan. We never had to hide things from each other, so I'm telling you how I feel. I never meant to hurt you, I didn't know that I was hurting you. I don't know how I feel for Rick, and that doesn't matter. What matters is that we don't do something that will lead to the people we care about being killed."

"Well don't worry about me, since I'm obviously not one of those people. Go back to Rick if you want to Michonne. Go live with The Family, and reap the benefits of everyone else's hard work. Sit back and watch your former friends and family slave away to provide supplies for your boyfriend and his son." Negan shook his head in disgust. "I should've left your ass out there in the woods where I found you."

Negan turned around and walked out the bedroom, slamming the door on Michonne.

***can08writer***

A week later:

Rick stood at the gates of the factory as a truck pulled inside. The driver parked in front of Rick and the truck let out a low hiss before it was shut off. Rick walked around to the back of the truck, unlocked the door and pulled the loading gate up. The gate slide upwards with a loud rattle, and Rick was shocked to see a few dozen crates of vegetables, five gallons of milk, and a couple of other odds and ends but the truck was in no way full.

"What's this?" Rick asked Laura, who emerged from the driver's side of the truck.

"This is all we got from Hilltop. They said a plague of weevils destroyed half their crop and they had to burn it. I took everything else they have, but it doesn't even fill up a truck."

Rick scrunched his face in confusion. "Are you sure they're not lying? You checked their cellars? The houses?"

"Yea we checked, there was nothing there and a bunch of their crops had been burned. This is all they had left. I figured at least we got our share."

Rick paused and rubbed his hand across his forehead. If this was all Hilltop had left to eat they were in big trouble. This wasn't even enough food to feed everyone at one of The Family's outposts, it certainly wasn't enough to feed a whole town. They'd starve before they had time to grow more.

"No" Rick said, shaking his head. "We can't take this. We won't. Go to our storage garage and give them some of our canned goods. Fill the truck. We'll ration for a few weeks but we'll survive."

Laura stared at Rick, dumbstruck. "Are you serious?" she asked.

"I am. They gave us food when we had nothin' whether it was unwillingly or not. We don't survive if they don't. We need them."

Laura sighed and tilted her head to the side. "What the hell Rick? I thought our motto was Family First?"

"I'm thinking about The Family. Without Hilltop's cooperation we starve. Without Alexandria's cooperation we run out of bullets. We need both of those communities. Maybe I've been going about this all wrong. I was taking advantage of them, using our might to intimidate them into working for us, when we can just work together. If we don't show compassion to others it's gonna come back to kill us later on."

Laura continued to stare at Rick unconvinced.

"Just… do what I said. Please Laura?" Rick asked.

She sighed but turned around and headed towards the storage garage.

Carl emerged from the factory as Rick was heading back inside.

"Is that the truck from Hilltop?" he asked, "Judy needs some more milk."

"Yea it was" Rick said, "but it's goin' back there."

"What? Why?" Carl asked.

"'Cuz they're coming on hard times. They had to burn their crops and they don't have enough food for themselves. We're gonna give 'em some of ours. We're gonna need to ration for a while, 'til they get back on their feet."

Carl stared at Rick for a few seconds.

"So you're giving them our food?" he asked to clarify.

"Yea. We're gonna do what's right" Rick said.

A smile slowly spread across Carl's face and he turned and walked with his father back into the factory. Rick was surprised that Carl had nothing to say.

"You don't have any opinions about that?" Rick asked.

Carl shook his head. "No dad, I'm just glad you're doing the right thing."

Carl's words hit Rick like a ton of bricks. Had he not been doing the right thing all this time? Had he been on the wrong path? He thought he was being reasonable and fair with his dealings with Hilltop and Alexandria, but maybe Carl didn't think so.

"What? Don't I always do the right thing?" Rick prodded Carl.

"You do what's good for us, and I know sometimes in life people have to lose, but it would be nice if sometimes everybody wins. Dad, Michonne told me her people aren't happy about trading bullets with us for clothes, they're just scared of us. They're doing it because we're making them. Imagine if some group made us trade with them. You know you'd be thinking of a way to get out of it. Eventually you'd fight them if they kept trying to force us to do something we didn't want to.

Rick stopped walking and stared at Carl. Carl, realizing that his father was no longer next to him stopped and turned around looking confused.

"You're right" Rick said, nodding his head slightly, "you're right. We can find a way where everyone wins. We can't continue the way we're going forever. Thank you Carl."

Carl shrugged. "You're welcome."

"Hey, I think I'm gonna go to Alexandria tomorrow and talk to Michonne about changing the terms of our deal. You wanna come?"

Carl's eyes lit up. "Really?" he asked.

"Sure, I need my wingman with me" Rick said with a chuckle.

"I thought Merle was your wingman" Carl said sarcastically.

"Over you? No way" Rick said, ruffling Carl's hair. "But we're gonna leave pretty early tomorrow, and I know how you don't like to wake up early…"

"I'll be up" Carl interrupted, "I'll be ready."

***can08writer***

Michonne tossed and turned in her bed in the guest room all night. Against all odds, her relationship with Negan had gotten worse over the past few days. She'd lost her relationship with her best friend in the span of a few weeks, over a man who she'd only known for a few weeks but she felt like she'd known forever.

She'd wanted to calm Negan down, at least so they could talk to each other civilly, but she knew when he was upset it was best to stay out of his way. Exactly like her. So she stayed in her room until she heard him close the front door to leave the house every morning.

Michonne exercised in her bedroom, getting in her pushups, situps, and crunches before she started her day. Afterwards she'd eat a quick breakfast and find out where she was needed for the day. Most of the adults at Alexandria were working at least 12 hour shifts at the bullet making factory to keep up with the demand to make bullets to supply The Family. She had gone for a few days to help out there, but today she was assigned to gate duty. Michonne told the townspeople she'd talk to Rick about it but they looked at her skeptically.

"Why would Rick care?" Spencer asked in disbelief, "he wants his bullets and he's getting that."

"Because we can't sustain this level of work. People need to rest, and spend time with their families. He'll care about that" Michonne countered.

"Why would he?" Spencer asked.

"Just trust me" Michonne responded.

***can08writer***

It was midmorning when a van rolled up to the gates of Alexandria.

"It's from The Family" Aaron said, "I've seen that van before."

Michonne climbed down the ladder, unlocked the gates and slid them open as the van drove inside the gates and parked.

To Michonne's surprise, Rick, Carl, Merle, and Sasha climbed out.

"Michonne!" Carl yelled, running to her immediately.

"Carl!" she yelled in surprise, and then almost tripped when he flew to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, "hey I've missed you, what are you doing here?"

"Dad said I could come. We have big news."

Michonne looked up and felt that warm sensation again when she saw Rick. It had only been a week, but she couldn't hide the butterflies she felt in her belly at seeing him. Rick gave her a warm smile, his eyes crinkling in the corner, and his pink lips turning upwards. She noticed he'd grown his beard out a little more and it was gray on the ends. He also had a few grays in his eyebrows. It made him look even sexier than she'd remembered.

"I'm glad to see you" Rick said affably.

"Glad to see you too" Michonne admitted, "and we do have some things to talk about." Rick held her gaze and for a moment it was as if everyone else had disappeared, but Aaron walked into her peripheral vision, snapping Michonne out of her trance.

He cleared his throat, glancing from Rick to Michonne with his eyebrows raised high. Michonne was suddenly embarrassed. She knew how much her people hated Rick and how obvious it was for Merle to see their attraction. She had to play it cool.

"We can go to the church and have a meeting. I'll go gather some of the people who are around. Aaron, can you take them over to the church?" Michonne asked.

Aaron looked at her skeptically. He approached Michonne and whispered in her ear "You really think you can trust them?"

"I do" she said softly, "I'll meet you all there, I'm gonna get Negan and whoever else is around."

Aaron gave Michonne a look from the side of his eye, but he turned to lead Rick and the others to the church. Michonne had no idea where Negan was but she knew he hadn't gone to the factory today. She decided to look for him at the armory, he might've been doing an ammunition check.

She'd taken ten steps in the direction of the armory when a gunshot tore through the mostly quiet town. Michonne stopped in her tracks and spun towards the sound in confusion. It came from the direction of the townhouses.

She pulled her katana and ran towards the houses, but a loud scream coming from the direction of the church caused her to turn again. Michonne could see a figure on the ground, and Sasha had her gun up, pointed towards the houses Michonne was about to run to. Merle had his gun trained on Aaron, who had his hands up and looked just as confused as everyone else.

Rick was frozen in place, unable to move, as he stared at the figure on the ground. Rick was trembling and his mouth opened and closed a few times as if his brain was short circuiting.

Michonne sprinted towards the group and just as she got there, Rick dropped to his knees in front of Carl who was lying deathly still.

"Is he breathin'?" Merle asked Rick while keeping his eyes on Aaron.

When Michonne got closer she could finally see the damage. There was a hole in Carl's face where his right eye should be. She felt sick and faint. The blood was streaming out of the wound, drenching the pavement below his head. He looked so still and deathly pale.

"Help him" Rick choked out, looking up at Michonne as tears streamed down his face, "Help him please."