Chapter 1 - Deja Vu (All Over Again)

"So that's what we did," Gail was telling Sam and Dean now. "We asked the soldiers for as many workers as they could bring us, and then we dressed up, and went to that party."

It was just the three of them, for the moment. When Gail and Cas had returned to the bottom of Kilimanjaro, Death had told Castiel he needed to have a private conversation with him. Then he had touched Cas with his walking stick, and the two men had disappeared, along with the Book of Life, which Death still held in his hand.

Gail had figured it would be okay to tell the Winchesters where she and Cas had gone, but she went a little light on the details. She was pretty sure she knew what their reaction was going to be. That had been hers, too, until she had found out the full truth. But she wanted to emphasize the humanitarian aspects of what she and Cas had done at the factory, because she wanted the brothers to see that there were some positive takeaways, as well.

"Cas told the SS men that we were making munitions for the Reich, and the more workers we had, the better that production would be. But the more workers we got, the more it cost for their upkeep. Cas told the officers he wasn't paying the employees, but he was, of course. But they still needed food, and clothing, and medicine, and we didn't want them spending their money on that because we knew they would need it, once we had to leave. So, since we weren't going to be there that long, I started selling everything of value that we had on hand. Paintings, jewelry, my furs...While Cas was at the factory taking care of everyone and making sure we didn't get found out whenever the soldiers came, I went to Berlin. We had to deal with black marketeers for some of the medicines, and stuff. Oh, and some of the sleaziest people were some of the richest ones, who would gouge the crap out of you. And not all of them were Germans, either. Some of them were Jews, selling out their own people. Guys, it was disgusting. But, on the bright side: When we left, we had about a thousand employees, and some of the women were pregnant. We closed the factory, and took all of the workers far enough away that the Reich couldn't touch them."

"But you let Hitler live," Dean said pointedly.

And, there it was. "I told Cas this, and I'll tell you, too," Gail said with an edge to her voice, "it's not a numbers game, Dean. Besides, Cas was there to do what he was instructed to do. I was just there this time to provide moral support."

"Moral support?" Sam echoed, incredulous. "I can't believe you're using that word in this context."

Gail was seething now. "You weren't there. You don't know."

"Yeah, you're right. We don't know. We don't know how you could have gone to a party with those people," Sam said, frowning.

"Did you meet Hitler, too?" Dean added snarkily. "Did you tell him some of your jokes?"

"You'd better shut up," Gail warned him.

"Oh, yeah? What if I don't? What are you gonna do? Have Cas go back in time and not kill me, too?" Dean retorted.

She'd had it. "You guys need to stop. You have no idea what God put Cas through. We can only imagine what they did to him, to make him conform. It wasn't his choice! He wanted to kill Hitler. In fact, he did. He did it twice, even though God expressly told him NOT to. And then, they stuck him in the Army, where he was forced into compliance. At the very least. I'm pretty sure that he was tortured, too. Although I haven't asked him for any details, because frankly, I don't want to know. He was conditioned to believe that the concept of choice and the use of Free Will was wrong. The courage it must have taken for him to rebel against that kind of coercion and indoctrination is just..." Gail was starting to tear up, now. She didn't want to give away Cas's secrets. It wasn't her place to tell these guys everything her husband had told her about the punishments he'd undergone in Heaven. But she had a point to make:

"Look, I know you guys have always given him a hard time about 'Angel crap', and for the longest time, I agreed with you," Gail said earnestly. "But I get it now. I can finally see it from Cas's point of view. Of course he sided with Heaven and his so-called Brothers and Sisters at first. But he was brainwashed, persecuted, vilified, and used as a scapegoat, by so many of them. He survived, though, and he stood his ground, because he knew there was a better way. And now WE'RE his family. Don't you dare judge him. Don't you dare."

All three of them were quiet, and then Cas said softly, "Please, don't be upset, Gail. I probably should have come clean to all of you about this a long time ago." He and Death had just reappeared from wherever they'd been. Death stood by, expressionless, still holding the Book.

Cas looked at the brothers. "I know what you're thinking," he said to them. "You're wondering how on earth I could let Hitler live. And the answer is: because, sometimes, the hard decisions have to be made. Because, losing my family is intolerable to me. And, because being the only one left behind for all of eternity is absolute agony. Allow me to show you."

Cas reached out and touched each brother on the forehead to show them the world after it had been decimated by the global wars that had lasted for decades. Everywhere they looked, it was a total wasteland.

"I was one of the only ones who survived," Cas's voice said in their heads. Now they could see him walking slowly through the rubble. Picking up giant slabs of concrete and tossing them aside, as if he was looking for something. Or someone, maybe. "God kept me around while all of you fell, so that I would suffer the longest. The sweet release of death would have been far more merciful."

Then the image faded, and Sam and Dean were back on the forest floor at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro, blinking in shock from what they had just seen and heard.

"Cas, man..." Dean said around the massive lump in his throat. "I'm sorry. We had no idea."

"Well, this is all very touching, I'm sure, but I believe I'll be going, now," Death said dryly. "I trust you're clear on that little matter we spoke about, Castiel?"

"Yes. Quite clear," Cas said tersely.

"Just a moment," a loud voice said. They all looked around for the owner of the voice, but there was no one else in sight. Suddenly, a bush burst into flames, and a moment later, a man stepped through the fire. He waved his hand, and the flames were gone.

The Winchesters were puzzled. Who was THIS guy? An Angel? Another Archangel, maybe? Cas and Gail were gaping at him, open-mouthed, and Death's eyebrows rose. Whoever the newcomer was, he was obviously a heavy hitter.

The man walked over to Death and took the Book from his hand. He gave it a cursory glance. "Congratulations on finding the location of the prize," he said to the quartet.

Death's dour expression had returned. "I believe that Book is mine," he said.

The man looked at him coolly. "I believe that I'll be the judge of that," he said calmly. "Just because I'm hardly ever here on Earth does not mean that you can usurp my role. If anyone is going to give my Son a lecture, it'll be me, and not you."

Sam and Dean's eyes widened. His son?

"That's right; we've never formally met," God said to the brothers. "Normally, you wouldn't be able to look upon Me, of course." He looked at Cas. "So, here we are. What do you have to say for yourself, Castiel?"

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," Cas replied. "I went back. I did as I was told, in Germany."

"Germany? I'm not talking about Germany," God said. "Sam Winchester is still alive."

Gail's heart jumped into her throat. WHAT?! she thought.

God looked at her as if she'd spoken aloud. "I'll get to you in a minute, My Daughter."

"There was no reason for Sam to die," Cas said in a pleading tone.

"Apparently, you have learned nothing from the lesson that Germany was supposed to have taught you," God said with a frown. "Because here you are, still questioning My instructions, trying to circumvent the natural order of things."

"That's what we were conversing about," Death said, and God glanced at him sharply. "Almighty Father," Death added quickly, and a laugh bubbled up in Gail's throat. But she'd better not let it out. Nobody was looking very pleased right now, and after what she'd just heard about God's wrath and His penchant for punishments, Gail wasn't very eager to press her luck.

"Well, right now, I believe I'm the one who has the floor," God said to Death. "We'll converse later." He waved his hand absently, and Death disappeared.

God was still holding the Book, and Gail's eyes widened slightly. Was He going to give it to them?

"Not exactly," God said dryly, reading her mind, because of course He was. "I believe I was just speaking about circumventing the natural order. Now, what kind of message would I be sending if I let you just bring everyone who has died back to life? Isn't that something along the lines of dark magic?" He glanced over at Dean. "Not that you're not already familiar with that sort of thing. I looked the other way for that particular little escapade, because Dean died in the service of Heaven. But now here you are, attempting to change things yet again."

"That was my idea, Father, not Gail's," Cas said quickly.

God raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought the two of you were as one. You can't have it both ways. Gail has made it quite plain that you are united in your actions. It appears that my Daughter is very adroit at the art of circumvention these days, as well. I wonder who she learned that particular skill from?" He added rhetorically.

They were all quiet again. God opened the Book, leafing through it. "Still, it is a shame that you four went to all that trouble to find this, only to have it taken away," He mused aloud. "I think it's high time this tome was put to use." He waved His hands again, and the Book vanished. Cas gasped.

God looked up. "Do you have something to say, my Son?" Cas was too terrified to speak, and so were the others. After a moment, God went on. "The Book is not gone, it's just been...disseminated, for lack of a better term," He told them. "I have given a page or two to a number of different individuals, because I am very interested in seeing where their true natures lie. I'm going to send you all to rewrite parts of your own history, by changing an aspect of your story along the way. We will continue in that manner until the last page of the Book is used up, and then, we will see."

"See WHAT?" Dean blurted out. He couldn't help it.

God regarded the elder Winchester coolly. "There are none so blind as those who are unwilling to see," He stated.

Suddenly, Dean's vision was gone, but just as he started to panic, it was restored.

"As the expression goes, I have 'a thing' about being spoken to with respect," God said dryly. "I don't expect humans to prostrate themselves at my feet, but I won't be barked at, either. Do we have an understanding, Dean Winchester?"

Dean nodded. His throat had dried up. And to think, he used to be intimidated by Cas, when his friend had first shown up in that barn on Earth. Now, Cas was looking like a puppy dog that had just been whacked on the nose with a newspaper for piddling on the rug. Gail's eyes were so wide she'd progressed from Bambi to bush baby, and Sam's Adam's Apple was bobbing furiously. When Sammy was really nervous, he swallowed, a lot. But Dean had never pointed that out to his little brother, because he was pretty sure that it was the poker "tell" that Frank had said that Dean had, and Dean liked beating Sam at poker.

"All right, then. Off you go, My children. As the song says, 'It's just like starting over'. Written by a flawed individual, to be sure, although ultimately, he meant well. And, speaking of which: I think we'll begin with you, Castiel."

God waved his hands, and the four of them disappeared.