I just wanted to thank those of you that continue to review…I find it very encouraging to see the comments and hear what you all think. I was also wondering if anyone would be interested in reading Carly and Ryan's story if I wrote one for them. I look forward to hearing what you all think about that. Anyway…hope you enjoy this one.
Chapter 38- Pomp, Circumstance, and Butterflies
The early morning sun streamed into Jane's room painting a kaleidoscope of yellows and oranges across her bed. With some considerable effort, she managed to peek one eye open to see what time it was. The bright red numbers on the clock next to her bed indicated that it was 8:22 AM, two hours and thirty-eight minutes until graduation. Lifting her arms up over her head, she stretched as she pushed the covers off. She swung her long legs over the edge of the bed and let out heavy sigh. The thought of a very long day loomed before her, almost overwhelming her with emotions she wasn't used to experiencing. Excitement, fear, uncertainty, and a sense of loss hung over her causing her head to ache slightly. She couldn't stop herself from scowling as she glanced over her shoulder at the dress hanging on her closet door. Underneath sat a pair of high heels, the ones she had promised Maura she would wear. A smug smirk replaced the scowl as her eyes moved over to the high top tennis shoes she had laid out as well. She had promised Maura she would wear the dress all day, not the heels so she had other plans for the after party. An image of Maura's flustered face caused Jane to chuckle as she imagined how Maura would react to her wearing tennis shoes with her dress. It was definitely going to be a long day Jane thought.
As Jane sat on the edge of her bed contemplating the day ahead, her thoughts turned to the weeks of planning she had taken to ensure their camping trip was perfect. With her mother's help, she had gathered the essentials such as a tent, sleeping bags, coolers full of food, and fishing poles. The fishing pole idea was a surprise that brought another smile to Jane's face as she pushed a tangle of dark hair out of her face. She couldn't wait to end the day holding Maura under the stars as they feel asleep in each other's arms.
"Hey, Jane…phone…" Frankie called from her doorway startling Jane from her quiet reflection. "It's Maura."
Jane reached for the phone sitting on the nightstand next to her bed and waited for the click that indicated who ever had answered had also hung up. When she was sure it was just her and Maura she finally spoke.
"Hey beautiful…" Jane's voice was rough with sleep causing her to clear her throat.
"Did I wake you?" Maura asked softly just in case Jane wasn't fully awake.
"Nah…I'm awake…" Jane pushed herself up from where she had been sitting. "I just wasn't out of bed yet…"
"Hmmm…wish I was there with you." Maura mused aloud.
"Me too…but don't forget we've got plans for the next three days…just us…" Jane couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face.
"So you just need me to bring clothes…?" Maura inquired. "Are you sure I can't bring anything else?"
"Nope…I got it all taken care of." Jane knew that it was killing Maura to give up control and allow Jane to plan their trip.
"Okay…just as long as you promise there will be more than fluff and peanut butter sandwiches to eat." Maura said as she moved around her room preparing to pack.
"If it makes you feel any better, my Ma helped me with the food." Jane couldn't help but offer Maura just a little bit of relief, knowing that she would worry.
"It does…very much in fact." Maura began shoving clothes in a duffle bag.
"What'er you doin'?" Jane stood in front of her mirror only to frown at her reflection. Her long dark hair hung around her shoulders in unruly waves causing her to run her fingers through it in an attempt to tame the savage locks. As she pushed her hair back behind her shoulders, she realized she would need to take the extra time to blow dry and straighten it for graduation. Her attempts to manage the mass of dark hair brought an image of Maura and how adorable she looked when she first woke up. Seeing Maura's light hair sticking up in all different directions was one of Jane's favorite things to wake up to.
"I'm just getting things ready for today…" Maura hesitated just enough for Jane to notice.
"Are you nervous?" Jane stopped moving her hand through her hair and stood frozen as she waited for Maura's answer. For some reason she needed to know that Maura was okay before she continued.
"No…" Maura paused knowing that Jane would hear the fear in her voice. "Yes… a little."
"It's only natural to be nervous Maur, getting those butterflies in your stomach…it's a big deal, being Valedictorian." Jane tried to sound reassuring. "Have I told you how proud I am of you?"
"Almost every day…" Maura couldn't stop a smile from forming on her lips.
"I can hear you smiling…" Jane breathed into the receiver. "I wish I could be there to kiss away the butterflies…"
"Not possible…you are the cause of the butterflies, but in a very good way might I add." Maura continued to smile.
"Well I still wish I was there…" Jane whispered. She was feeling the emotional weight from earlier coming back in a wave threatening to crush her.
"Me too." Maura whispered back. She could sense that Jane was getting emotional, she could hear it in rough timber of Jane's voice. With a heavy sigh Maura realized it was time to say goodbye. "I'm going to hang up now Jane and let you get ready. But just so you know, I can't wait to get you alone tonight…"
"Okay…" Jane said on a shaky breath. She was grateful that Maura was letting her go but she didn't want to say goodbye either. "I'll see you soon."
"Bye Jane…"
"Bye Maura…"
And with those last words, they each hung up as thoughts of what the day had in store both excited and frightened them.
"So, Maura convinced you to wear the heels." Angela said from Jane's doorway.
"Yep…she got a strike and I lost the bet. But she didn't say I had to wear them all day…only during the ceremony." Jane couldn't help but smirk.
"Oh, she's not going to like that you know." Angela couldn't stop herself from laughing at the evil grin on Jane's face.
"I did promise to wear the dress at the after party though so…" Jane couldn't stop herself from smoothing down the front of her dress. She was nervous and needed something to do with her hands.
"Well, serves her right for not being specific…" Angela stepped into the room to get a better look at Jane. "You look beautiful…I really like what you've done with your hair." She reached out to touch the long dark hair that Jane had painstakingly straightened.
"Yeah…Maura likes it when I do it this way." Jane couldn't stop the blush that raced across her face.
"She has good taste…but I always thought that." Angela moved her hands up and down Jane's arms in an attempt to comfort her. "You're nervous…"
"I guess…more so for Maura." Jane gave her mother a crooked grin. "She's got that speech…and the thing with her parents…"
"I know…but we're there for her and she knows that." Angela couldn't stop herself from pulling Jane into a hug. "I'm so proud of you Janie…this is such an exciting time."
"Thanks Ma…" Jane hugged Angela back. She could feel her mother relax when she didn't immediately release her. For some reason Jane just needed this and she wasn't ready to let go.
"Something else is bothering you…" Angela pulled back so she could look at Jane.
For a second, Jane thought she might deny what her mother's intuition had pick up on but then she thought better of it. With weak nod of her head, she looked down so she didn't have to look her mother in the eyes.
"I have no doubt that everything will work out for you Jane…" Angela pulled Jane against her again. "You are meant to be together." She whispered.
"I'm afraid of losing her Ma…she's bound to meet someone when she goes away…someone better for her than me." Jane pulled away from Angela and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands.
"Maybe…maybe not…" Angela squeezed Jane's shoulders. "You have to have faith in yourself, in her…in the relationship you've built over the last year. Jane, I know in my heart that you and Maura are destined to spend your lives together."
"I want to believe it Ma, really I do. It's just…" Jane shook her head.
"Listen…please…" Angela used two fingers under Jane's chin to tilt her face up so they were looking in each other's eyes. "Just enjoy the summer together…don't think past that. You will have plenty of time to worry about things when you both go away. Please…make it so that you can't possibly imagine your life without her."
Jane looked into the light haze of her mother's eyes, so filled with pride and love and she conceded. "Okay Ma…I'll try."
"Good, then start by having a wonderful time camping." Angela gave Jane a pat on the cheek. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a graduation to get ready for."
"Hey Ma…" Jane called out to her mother's retreating figure. "I love you…" She said with a sheepish smile.
"I love you too Janie…" Angela smiled back before she left Jane alone to contemplate her words.
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli" The voice announced as Jane made her way across the stage.
'Shake with the right, take with the left…' Jane repeated the mantra in her head as she approached the principal who was handing out the diplomas. She glanced to her right where Maura was sitting with the teachers and Salutatorian and winked as she walked by. She was rewarded with the sweetest of smiles and she could almost feel the love radiating her direction. When she found herself face to face with the principal, she squared her shoulders and stood straight as she took her diploma in her left hand, shaking with her right. After a quick nod of acknowledgement, Jane was heading across the stage with her diploma in hand. She couldn't stop herself from scanning the crowd in hopes of finding Maura's parents or the very least her mother. But it was not to be, instead her eyes came into contact with a pair of hazel green so like Maura's she couldn't suppress the shiver that ran through her body.
Paddy Doyle sat alone among the sea of family and friends but there was no mistaking the look of pride on his face. As Jane made her way to her seat, her eyes never left his. The weight of the moment hit her hard as she realized it was him that would carry the memory of one of Maura's greatest accomplishments, not the parents Maura had come to love as her own. With great sadness, Jane realized why Constance wasn't there…it was because he was. The knowledge that Constance had stepped away, giving Paddy this moment to cherish was a bitter sweet pill that Jane didn't want to swallow. Maybe they had an understanding, maybe this was his only consolation. Jane would never know, but now she understood and her heart broke a little for the woman she thought was cold and calculating. The unspoken understanding that passed between them was all the confirmation Jane needed as she took her seat and turned her back on the past that she had conspired to keep from Maura. With a heavy heart, she turned her attention back to stage and her classmates as they took the stage to the stage, one by one for their brief moment of glory.
And just like that, it was over in a sea of red flying high above everyone as the student body threw their caps into the air in a rite of passage and tradition. And Jane was no different and she sent her cap sailing up and over her head. Handshakes and hugs were passed around as Jane moved through the small crowd in an attempt to find Maura in the melee of bodies. Then like a ray of sunshine, Maura appeared with her cap still perched firmly on her head and Jane threw her arms open in invitation.
Throwing herself into the open arms of Jane brought all the comfort and love Maura needed in that moment. She nestled her cheek against Jane's chest and held tight as the wave of people moved around them like a tidal swell. As Jane's arms wrapped around her Maura felt protected and everything else ceased to exist.
"I'd like to kiss you, but your cap is in the way…" Jane tried to speak over the crowd.
Maura tilted her head up so she could look at Jane. She was greeted with the same sexy smile she had come to fall in love with as Jane looked down at her. Lifting up onto her toes, Maura placed a quick kiss to Jane's cheek.
"Nope…gonna haveta do better than that…" Jane bent her head to capture Maura's lips in a more familiar kiss.
"But everyone will see…" Maura started to say.
"Don't care…" Jane said in-between kisses as her mouth moved over Maura's. She only pulled away when she felt a hard smack on her back that pushed her against Maura a little harder than she would have liked. "Hey…"
"Congrates Rizzoli…" Someone called out to her over the commotion of the crowd.
"See, told you the quarterback always gets the hot girls…" Jane heard someone say off in the distance as her face turned slightly pink from the blush that was making its way across her face.
"Let's get outta here…" Jane said as she took Maura's hand and attempted to pull her away from the slightly thinning crowd.
"Where is your family?" Maura inquired as she allowed Jane to lead the way.
"Over there…" Jane pointed in the direction they were heading. "I think we gotta do the whole picture thing and stuff."
"Okay…I'll wait for you then." Maura went to release Jane's hand.
"Absolutely not…you're a part of the Rizzoli family now…if I gotta suffer through pictures…so do you." Jane squeezed Maura's hand tighter. She glanced over to see that Maura had a silly grin on her face and a slightly dazed look in her eyes at the prospect of being a part of a family. Knowing that her family could sometimes be overbearing and all-encompassing, Jane knew she didn't have to worry that Maura would feel overwhelmed because it was obvious she was happy to be a part of something she had never been a part of before…a family.
"I can't believe you're wearing those…those…shoes!" Maura's distress level was at an all-time high as she pointed to Jane's feet.
"Hey I only promised to wear the dress at the party…not the heels." Jane couldn't stop the smug smirk from spreading across her face as she stood in front of Maura with her dress on, complimented by her black high top tennis shoes.
"Duly noted…" Maura reached out to pinch Jane's side but Jane moved away too quickly.
"See, I gotta be fast on my feet around you." Jane laughed at the pout that appeared on Maura's face.
"You win this round…" Maura conceded. "But I did get you to wear the dress."
"Well, I see that Maura has noticed your choice of shoes…" Angela appeared next to Jane.
"You knew about this?" Maura couldn't keep the disbelieving tone from her voice. "And you let her do it?"
"We both know that neither one of us could have changed the outcome of this…" Angela waved her hands over Jane who continued to look smug. "Serves you right for not being specific…" She raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders.
"I suppose you're right…" Maura couldn't stop herself from laughing. "Next time I'll make out a contract."
"How 'bout take out a contract…" Carly slipped up behind them. "Damn those are ugly…" She said as she pointed to Jane's high-tops.
"Okay…you're all really funny." Jane groused as her temper flared. "I like them…and I am gonna wear them no matter what anyone says."
"Hey, cool shoes, I've got a pair just like them…" Ryan said as she approached with two beers. Handing one to Carly, she looked around at all of the surprised faces staring back at her. "What?" She asked as she took a sip of her beer.
"And on that note…I think I'll go mingle." Jane gave a slight bow before moving away from the slightly stunned group.
"What?" Ryan raised her eyebrows in question as she looked around at everyone when Jane left.
"Nothing sweetheart…" Carly wrapped an arm around Ryan's waist and pulled her close. "Thanks for the beer."
Ryan shrugged her shoulders as she melted against Carly, her eyes moving from Angela to Maura. She couldn't shake the feeling that she had somehow missed something, but the smiles on the other women's faces indicated it wasn't a big deal. "I didn't get a chance to congratulate you earlier…your speech was great. Very hopeful…"
"Thanks Ryan." Maura started to say before Jane caught her eye over Ryan's shoulder. She couldn't stop herself from laughing as Jane stuck her tongue out in a show of defiance.
"She's sticking her tongue out at us, isn't she?" Carly asked. When Maura nodded, Carly rolled her eyes. "She used to do the same thing when we were kids and she got away with something…"
"Well I'm shocked at the juvenile behavior of my recently graduated daughter." Angela mock scolded. "Perhaps I should ground her…" She started but stopped when she saw the panicked look on Maura's face. "Or just have her take the trash out." She quickly amended with a sheepish grin. "I promise I wouldn't do anything to interfere with your camping trip."
The relief that passed over Maura's face had everyone laughing. Maura really didn't think that Angela would ground Jane, but stranger things had happened.
"I think I'll go help Pop and Uncle Frank before they set something on fire." Carly glanced over at her father and Uncle who were wrestling with the grill and burgers.
"Sounds like a plan, I'll join you." Angela looked over as well. Before she left, she leaned over and placed a kiss to Maura's cheek. "I'm so proud of you honey…" She whispered in Maura's ear before following Carly.
Maura couldn't wipe the grin from her face if she wanted to as she watched Carly and Angela walk away. As her eyes swept over the backyard and all the familiar Rizzoli faces, she had an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness. She could almost feel the tears forming in her eyes when she saw Jane smiling at her, that small knowing smile that caused the butterflies to flutter in her stomach.
"So…" Ryan studied Maura over the rim of her beer bottle as she took another sip. "Did I tell you that I was Valedictorian as well?"
"Um…no…you didn't." Maura turned her attention to Ryan who was giving her a shy smile.
"Yeah, well…you know how it is." Ryan tipped her beer back to take another drink. "I hear you are going camping for a few days?"
"We are…" Maura couldn't keep the excitement from her voice. "Jane has been planning it for weeks."
"Have you ever been camping before Maura?" Ryan raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
"No, I haven't…" Maura eyed Ryan suspiciously. "Why?"
"Oh, nothing…" Ryan answered with a smile.
"Why do I get the feeling that you're not telling me something…?" Maura crossed her arms and tried to glare at Ryan.
"You do know there are no bathrooms out there…right?" Ryan tilted her head to regard Maura.
"What?" The alarm was evident as Maura's voice rose an octave.
"Think about it Maura…" Ryan couldn't stop herself from laughing.
"I suppose you think this is funny." Maura tried to sound annoyed.
"I do now…" Ryan hesitated as she took another sip of beer. "I didn't the first time Carly took me camping though."
"Anything else I should know about?" Maura couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips as she thought about Ryan and Carly camping."
"I would suggest that you take lots of toilet paper." Ryan wiggled her eyebrows in a playful way.
"Funny Ryan…" Maura rolled her eyes. "If you'll excuse me I think I need to talk with Jane."
Ryan watched as Maura made her way towards Jane with a purposeful stride. She couldn't help but smile at the memory of her and Carly's time camping. When they first started dating, it was something they had done often, but as they had gotten busy with school and work there just didn't seem to be enough time. Looking over towards Carly, she realized that they needed to make time for the things they used to love to do together. Yes, they would need to plan their own camping trip Ryan thought to herself when Carly gave her a knowing wink.
"Please tell me there are bathrooms where we are going." Maura slipped up beside Jane and whispered into her ear.
"What?" Jane was as much surprised by the words as she was by Maura's sudden appearance.
"Bathrooms Jane…" Maura's whisper was more urgent this time.
Jane gave her cousin Tony an apologetic smile as she took Maura by the hand, leading her away. "Look, normally no…but…" Jane hesitated when she saw the panic on Maura's face. "I made arrangements for us to camp close to the campground facilities. There is a bathroom and shower…"
"Oh…okay…" The relief Maura was feeling showed in the easy smile she gave Jane.
"You didn't really think I'd take you camping for the first time and expect you cop a squat…did you?" Jane seemed surprised.
"I'm not exactly sure what it is you are saying…but thank you for that." Maura leaned over to give Jane a quick kiss on the cheek. "Now…when can we blow up this joint?"
"I think you mean blow this joint…" Jane grinned at Maura. "And soon I think, after we eat…we still have a two hour drive. I've already loaded the truck. All we have to do is change."
"Good, sounds like a plan." Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's waist and hugged her tight. "I guess we should mingle some…"
"Yep…it kinda is a party for us." Jane pulled Maura close to her.
"Alright then…" Maura pulled away and straightened her dress. "Let's do this…"
Maura's breath caught in her chest when Jane stepped back into the room dressed and ready to go. Jane was wearing a black tank top and pair of camouflaged cargo shorts that showed off far more skin than Maura had expected to see.
"Did you bring a jacket or sweatshirt? It can get kinda cold in the evenings." Jane asked as she shoved a flannel shirt into her duffle bag. The muscles in her arms flexed as she moved around unaware that Maura was watching her intently. When Maura didn't answer, she stopped what she was doing and turned to find she was being watched. She couldn't help but smile at the look on Maura's face but the look in Maura's eyes had her breaking out in a cold sweat. "See something you like?"
The question caused Maura to blush as her eyes moved over Jane's body until they finally settled on the dark brown that twinkled playfully. "Um…I love it when you wear tank tops…" Maura cleared her suddenly dried throat.
"Yeah?" Jane asked as she slipped her arms into another one of her flannel shirts, leaving it unbuttoned.
"You're wearing all green…" Maura indicated the green and black plaid flannel shirt and green camouflage shorts. "You aren't planning on losing me out there…are you?"
"Absolutely not…" Jane moved to wrap her arms around Maura. "Do you have something warm to wear?"
"You mean besides you?" Maura chuckled.
"Hmmm…if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were planning to take advantage of me Miss Isles…" Jane snuggled closer to Maura. "But yes…did you bring a sweatshirt or something?"
"I brought the Red Sox sweatshirt you gave me…" Maura melted into Jane's arms. "But we'd better get out of here before it gets too late."
"I'm on it…" Jane said as she released Maura from their hug. "Grab your stuff so we can throw it in the truck and say goodbye to everyone."
"As you wish…" Maura grabbed her bag and followed Jane out the door.
"I expect you to check in with the ranger at least once a day…I'd hate to have to drive up there and check on you." Angela put her hands on her hips and regarded Jane and Maura with a stern expression.
"Alright Ma…they have a pay phone. I'll call you when I can…" Jane tried not to roll her eyes.
"I still expect you to check in with the ranger…" Angela stood her ground.
"Okay…okay…" Jane held her hands up in surrender.
"You girls have fun and be careful." Angela tried to hold back the tears she knew were threatening to fall.
"Come on Ma, we're only going to be gone for three days…" Jane was starting to feel antsy with the need to put some distance between them and her over emotional mother.
Maura watched the exchange between mother and daughter with an amused smile on her face. She knew that Jane was at her 'protective mother' limit so she decided it was time for to intervene. "We'll call you when we get there."
"Please…" Angela grabbed both Jane and Maura in a hug. "Take care of each other…"
When Jane finally untangled herself from her mother's arms, she grabbed Maura by the hand and waved over her shoulder at her parents.
"They'll be fine." Frank wrapped his arm around Angela's shoulder. He said it in an effort to convince himself as much as his wife.
"I know, I know…" Angela waved Frank off. "It doesn't mean I won't worry though."
"I wouldn't expect anything less." He grinned over at her.
"I need a beer…" Angela sighed as she turned away from the taillights of Jane's truck.
"And I've got one right here…" Frank handed her his bottle.
"Hmmm…thanks…" She said after taking a sip. "Nice and cold."
"What say we clean up tomorrow?" Frank asked as he took the bottle she offered back to him.
"I'd say that sounds like a fine idea. Now let's go enjoy the rest of our evening." She said as she gave him a gentle back handed swat to the stomach.
"Are you ready?" Jane reached over to take Maura's hand in her own, interlacing their fingers.
"Uh huh…" Maura smiled over at Jane. She was more than ready to start their adventure, but she was even more ready to spend the night under the stars in Jane's arms.
"Well then…off we go." Jane said as she put the truck in drive.
As they drove away, both were lost in their own thoughts of what the evening would hold. The space between them was filled with the anticipation of something new and something wonderful to come. Glancing over to look a Maura, Jane felt the flutter of butterflies in her stomach at the soft beauty that almost always took her breath away. It then dawned on her that her mother had been right…she just needed to concentrate on making this summer the best she could with Maura and everything else would work itself out.