Chapter thirteen- A song and a game
The song belongs to Florence and the machine! One of my favourite dragon age songs. 3
A massive thanks to my Beta, enchantm3nt you should check out her story she's an amazing writer!
I fully recommend her amazing fic The Sacrifices we make ! Check it out! You will not be disapointed!
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Fenris nursed a flagon of ale that Varric had handed to him as he sat in the Hanged Man, pondering the events of the past few days and how they had come to be. If he had been told six months ago that he would become a member of a merry band of misfits, as Hawke had so aptly put it, he might well have laughed for the very first time in his life at the ridiculousness of that statement. He did not work well in groups, he was so used to being alone, on the run, and yet here he was, settled and working with a group of people consisting of several mages. None of them had anything in common, expect for Hawke. She was the reason they were together, the only reason.
She was a mystery, and a surprise. Even the members of the group that had supposedly known her quite a while knew little about her, it seemed. She was an enigma; the more time he spent with her the less he realised he knew. That should make him uncomfortable, he shouldn't trust her, or like her, and yet he couldn't bring himself to hate her. There was something… familiar in her eyes, something he recognised because he had seen those very eyes looking back at him in a mirror.
The witch had said that Hawke had caged herself, but he knew that Hawke would have to have a valid reason for doing such a thing. He had his suspicions: the way she pulled back as if burned when their hands touched, the distance she always kept between herself and others… He had been shocked to realise her touch had not hurt him like Danarius or Hadriana's always did. Hers was fleeting, light, soft.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Isabela. "So Varric, is tonight the night you bank your winnings with Hawke?" Isabela asked the dwarf with a hopeful expression.
"Of course Rivaini, I hope she's prepared me a ballad to rock the ages," Varric replied, a grin of satisfaction on his face at the memory of winning the bet.
"And what if she refuses?" the abomination questioned with a grin.
"She can't, I've bought her a present and it cost me a pretty penny! Bianca's had to lose out on her polish this week!" Varric replied, lifting a lute from under the table.
Fenris leaned in and observed the lute; it was indeed a finely crafted instrument. He had to admit he was curious as to what Hawke would be like singing. The others had shared stories of Hawke and her younger brother dancing in battle, but never of her other interests. It seemed that Hawke was more of a business woman and never mingled the two together. Although, from what he had gathered from Varric she enjoyed a drink; Varric had told him the story of Hawke and Isabela and the twenty five shots.
"I could polish her for you," Isabela purred at the dwarf, who raised his hand up to her.
"Stop right there, Bianca is a one man kind of girl," the dwarf stated, making Isabela slump in her chair with a disappointed expression on her face.
"You know Varric; I've never seen Hawke properly sloshed! How many shots do you think it would take?" Isabela asked, competition lacing her voice.
"Well Rivaini, I'd bet it would be about forty since the ale here is so diluted," the dwarf laughed.
"Not if you know where Corff puts the good stuff, and I do," she said smugly, her eyes glinting.
"Is that right? A wager then Rivaini?" the dwarf laughed as Isabela agreed.
Fenris watched as she got up and sauntered past him, deliberately putting her large bosom in his face as she walked towards the bar. Isabela was an attractive woman, but he had taken Varric's warning with good heed. Plus he did not feel entirely comfortable with the perverse pirate and her hungry eyes.
The guard-captain joined them half an hour later, greeting the group as she sat down and drank quietly, occasionally flinging an insult at either Varric or Isabela. Fenris watched the captain's eyes moving towards the door, most likely waiting for Hawke. Varric too, kept looking at the door, waiting for Hawke almost excitedly.
An hour later into the evening and one Hawke had finally come to the tavern, but not the Hawke that Varric desperately wanted to see. You could almost see the excitement and expectation fading as he watched Carver Hawke and the blood mage walk into the tavern.
"Junior, where's your sister?" Varric asked disappointed at the sight of him.
Fenris noticed the amused smile Carver flashed before answering the dwarf.
"She's been with Mother whilst I've been helping Merril fix some holes in her roof," Carver explained to Varric who grinned profusely at the younger Hawke.
"Oh, did you now, I could have helped too," Isabela purred as she walked back to her table and plonked herself back in her seat next to Varric, looking at Carver and the blood mage provocatively.
"Daisy, this is Isabela and the red with the thing for metal is Aveline and the guy with the feathers is Anders, the rest of the gang you've met it seems" Varric introduced the blood mage to their other companions; Fenris greeted her with a scowl making her turn her gaze quickly. The blood mage looked at the dwarf with a serious expression on her face.
"My name's not Daisy, Varric, its Merril," she said to Varric, confused.
"It's just his funny dwarf ways, he likes giving things nicknames," Anders explained to her, shooting Varric a glare.
Varric shot the mage an innocent smile making the mage's eyes narrow at the dwarf who chuckled before taking a long pull of his ale.
"Hawke's definitely coming, isn't she?" Varric said, eyeing up Carver dubiously.
"Of course she is, she's just indulging Mother, she misses doing whatever it is women do together," Carver said, a note of sadness in his voice. Fenris remembered what Hawke said about her younger sister being killed by darkspawn.
The group began with small talk again, Fenris choosing to not to join in with the groups banter instead deciding to watch the door for Hawke. It was odd that she wasn't there yet; he had gotten the impression that Hawke was a punctual sort of person and she was apparently -according to the dwarf who seemed to enjoy exaggerating- late by one hour.
He watched the group in their idle chatter and noticed they were not as animated as they were when Hawke was around them. Isabela and Varric seemed to be the only ones not affected by absence of Hawke; the two sat together concocting bets and swapping stories with hearty chuckles.
Varric stopped talking to Isabela and turned to stare at the door for a moment. He blinked twice as if trying to adjust his eyes and after a moment of sincere shock his face cracked into a wicked grin. He nudged Isabela who also looked towards the door and smiled furiously. Fenris turned his head round as he heard the steps of someone coming closer towards their table and wolf whistles from the patrons rang in the noise of the crowd.
Hawke walked towards them with a quick stride, her face flushed with embarrassment and her hair down ending near her breasts. Fenris' eyebrow raised as he noticed that the group's fearless leader was wearing a dress made of crimson material decorated with nothing but a small black bow with shoes to match. The dress clung to her as tightly, beginning to cause a stir with the men of the crowd.
Not only the strangers in the crowd.
He looked at abomination who stared at Hawke in wanton lust and need, his eyes perversely taking in every bit of her as she walked towards them with such elegance that if he did not know Hawke he would have thought that she was some noble's offspring. She had an air of grace in which was strange for a Lowtown smuggler. He hadn't really noticed how womanly Hawke truly was, every time he had met this woman she had always worn armour. He looked over her figure for a final time, viewing her curves with surprised eyes.
The abomination seemed mesmerised by her as she walked towards them, his face painted with obvious desire and lust. He stood up when she got to the table, bowing lowly to her and kissing her hand, making Fenris wanting to snort into his ale at the sheer desperation that radiated from the abomination.
"You look beautiful," the abomination said to her, pulling a chair out for her to sit down.
Fenris silently agreed with the abomination but chose not to shower Hawke with compliments like the abomination and other men seemed to do. He sought nothing from her unlike the abomination; he did not lust for her like some lovesick boy with a crush. He laughed at their weaknesses, for it was their undoing. However, even if she had not knocked him head over heels like she had with the pathetic mage, she had created doubt within his usual adamant thoughts and beliefs.
Hawke pursed her lips and looked at the male mage for a moment with a small blush painting her face. "Thank you, I was with Mother today she misses having a daughter to do such things like this with," she said, gesturing at the dress and her hair with a disgruntled expression.
"Ah, Hawke I'm glad you got dressed for this occasion," Varric said, grinning at her with obvious intent.
"Oh, why, is it my Name Day already?" she asked feigning innocence. Fenris knew she remembered losing the bet to Varric on the way back to Kirkwall from the Dalish camp.
Fenris looked at Hawke grin at the dwarf, and couldn't help but ponder on the old witch's words.
Oh little songbird, you've locked yourself in a cage and now the wolf will prowl.
The old witch had seemed to look at Hawke with respect and pity when she spoke to her, and Fenris found himself wondering in what way had Hawke had caged herself. He wondered if she had ever opened the gates that held her back and become whoever she was underneath. He snorted at himself at loud for such a thought, he was becoming a hypocrite it seemed, for who was he to judge Hawke, when he too was chained.
Hawke cocked her head in bemusement at him and threw him a quizzical look that he answered her with a shake of his head to deny her an explanation.
"No Hawke, but I've bought you a present," Varric said, presenting her with the wooden instrument.
"Varric, my dear dwarf I cannot sing without a bit of courage," she said, a coy grin playing on her lips.
Isabela took the hint well, gesturing the bartender Corff over with a seductive smile. The bartender looked at the Rivaini pirate with a smirk and produced a tray full of shots, which he put in front of Hawke.
"Oh all of these are for me? I wanted to play a good drinking game," Hawke said, viewing the group who had all begun to look at her sceptically.
"There were no terms about a drinking game before or after you fulfilled your bargain Hawke, and there will be no game until you have sung us a song," Varric said, feigning a serious demeanour for a moment before flashing a wicked grin.
Hawke rolled her eyes and downed one of the shots in front of her, her nose crinkled and her face scrunched up at the sour taste.
"Maker's Breath, what in Thedas is that?" Hawke asked Varric incredulously.
Varric shrugged his shoulders and gave Isabela a questioning look, Isabela repaid him in kind with a huge grin. Fenris suspected that the pirate had indeed gotten into the bartender's strong stuff.
Nevertheless, Hawke grabbed a few more of the shots and drank them down quickly as if they were water.
"That is a very pretty dress, Hawke," Merril complimented quietly, with a slight blush to her face.
"Thank you, Merril, it was my mother's dress when she was younger; she's just been trying to teach me how to sew and repair dresses," Hawke said, once again wrinkling her nose at the thought of it.
"Oh, I can see that now, you sat a spinning wheel repairing your armour," Aveline said, a small chuckle escaping her lips.
"Why in Thedas did she think that you would need to learn? You can just use magic!" Merril exclaimed, making Isabela jump up in shock, she stood there for a moment in glee as if almost about to break into dance.
"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" she shouted, pointing at Hawke with obvious joy.
Hawke raised an eyebrow at the pirate whilst she sat down looking around the group expecting them to be just as shocked about the new information that the blood mage had announced rather loudly. She then pouted and groaned "I was the only fucker who didn't know, wasn't I?" she sank back in the chair with a disheartened expression emitting from her face. She had obviously thought she was the only of them onto Hawke's secret, when it was the complete different end of the spectrum.
"Rivaini, we all assumed you knew but didn't give a shit," Varric said, clapping her on the back as she looked truly disappointed.
"I don't, but now I know which one of them should be magic in the bedroom, if you get my drift," she said, winking at Hawke with a face full of jest. She shook off her disappointment in a moment, her face shifting back quickly. The pirate and Hawke seemed to both be able to hide their emotions just as quick as the other.
"Well, back to the question before Isabela's outburst. Mother wants to be wed to a man of stature, and these skills make me more appealing," Hawke groaned, much to Fenris' amusement.
The abomination stared at Hawke as if her words were echoing through his body; he looked tormented almost as if he were arguing with someone silently. Fenris noticed his disdain and took great pleasure in the abomination's realisation that a darkspawn had more stature than an apostate Grey Warden hiding in a shoddy clinic in Darktown.
"Oh I see now, will we be invited to the wedding? Carver said your mother was a lovely woman; she wouldn't make you marry another shemlen without your say, would she?" Merril started to babble, but Hawke stopped her in her tracks by replying to her first question with haste as if knowing the blood mage would continue to ramble until someone either intervened or hit her with something heavy.
"I am mostly just indulging her, for now, but I fear that when we get our old home back she may revert back to her ways before she met father," Hawke said, a flash of worry streaking her face.
Varric seemed to sense that the conversation was going downhill, for he changed the subject quickly and with a light heart.
"But until that day you'll always be our lady rogue Hawke! Now, this song, if you please," he said, gesturing towards the lute that he bought especially for the occasion.
Hawke bit her lip and looked at her brother with a nervousness he hadn't seen before. Fenris found it amusing that a woman that was renowned on the battlefield was nervous of singing in front of a drunken crowd where hardly anyone would be listening. Carver gave her a strict nod and she leant over the table and grabbed the lute, making Isabela smile widely at the sight of her exposed breasts whilst she leant forward. Fenris rolled his eyes at the pirate, Aveline was right about her; the woman would have anything with a pulse.
She put the lute in her lap and stroked the strings delicately, a small smile playing on her lips. She stared down at it for a moment and everyone seemed to watch in silence.
"If I do this, we're all playing a drinking game after, right?" she asked the group.
"Hey you've got to do it either way but I'm game for a drinking game or two," Varric said, giving her a wink.
"What shall I sing?" she asked the group, but it was more directed at Carver.
Carver looked at her for a moment in thought, and then replied "You know my favourite,"
She nodded and stroked the lute once again; it let out a throaty twang as if agreeing with Carver.
She looked around the group who had become transfixed with her and the instrument waiting for her to begin her melody; Fenris found that he could not look away as she broke into song.
"I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me,
I'm not calling you a thief, just don't steal from me,
I'm not calling you a ghost, but stop haunting me,
I love you so much, I'm going to let you… kill me,"
Her voice was beautiful; the entire tavern had gone silent just to listen in to her song. The lute strummed away at the command of her fingers and she looked at home with the instrument. She did not look at anyone as she sang but her voice was confident and loud. Her voice reminded him of the warm summer amongst the fog warriors and how they sang around the fires. It felt somehow reassuring to him, in ways he did not understand.
"There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep,
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks,
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs,
To fall, to fall, to fall… at your feet.
There before the grace of him I go by,
And when you kiss me I am happy enough…
To die,"
He did not understand the emotions that the song was creating inside of him. He looked around the group and saw that even Varric and Isabela were staring at Hawke with a serious expression on their faces. It was as if the song was bringing out their every emotion; he could feel his doubt and curiosity and fear being drawn towards the song and his perfected self-control almost broke.
"And when you kiss me, I am happy enough
To die,"
The lute hummed its last note as the song ended, she looked around at everyone with flushed pink cheeks as if she was embarrassed or worried she did not play efficiently. It was true what the old witch had said about Hawke, she was indeed a songbird in her own right. He had always stereotyped mages to be the same as each other, but Hawke seemed to be unique.
The patrons and drunkards in the bar applauded loudly, wolf whistling at the blushing mage who looked at the people around the table sheepishly.
"That was beautiful, Hawke," Aveline said, smiling at her reassuringly.
"Thank you, that's the first time I've sung since…" Hawke stopped talking for a moment, her expression turning dark.
"Since forever, Sister!" Carver interjected, saving her from the wondering looks of Isabela and Varric.
She looked up at her brother and smiled widely and then turned to Varric "Well, you got what you wanted! Would you like a ballad about a handsome dwarf or shall I give you the lute back? Perhaps you could name her Lucy and she could be a friend for Bianca?" Hawke cajoled, her coy playful grin back on her face.
"Oh no Hawke, Bianca would be jealous. I got Lucy for you anyways," Varric said, grinning at her. "As much as I would love to hear another song, I don't own any handkerchiefs and don't want to cry all over Bianca,"
"Yes it was lovely, can we soddin' drink now!?" Isabela shouted, making the crowds of men cheer at her words, raising their tankards at the busty pirate.
"Yes, yes we can. I think we should play a game of I never!" Hawke agreed, smiling round at the group. Fenris' eyes narrowed at the very idea of playing some silly drinking game; he did not feel comfortable in doing so. She looked at him for a moment, her expression unfathomable and then added, "not everyone has to play if they don't feel comfortable."
Fenris found he was grateful for her amendment, for if she thought for a second he would down shots and be merry with a room that consisted of mages then she was indeed mad. If he lost control of himself he very much doubted that the blood mage or the abomination would be left with any innards by the end of the night.
Yet, he found that it would be somewhat amusing to watch the group drink, he had no other plans for the night and if he was not in the tavern he would be in his condemned mansion dreaming up fantasies that involved decorating the mansion's foyer with Danarius' intestines. He welcomed the distraction; he had spent six months in a pit of hatred and loathing.
The group moved their drinking to Varric's private suite and Isabela and the barmaid Norah had brought in two more trays of the shots to accompany Hawke's tray.
The blood mage sat next to Hawke, her cheeks blushing a furious pink as she explained she did not know how to play the drinking game. Hawke smiled at her with kind eyes and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, the first time Fenris had seen her touch anyone but her brother.
"It's very simple actually, Merril, someone announces something that they have never done and if you have done it you must down one of these shots," Hawke said, smiling encouragingly at the nervous elf.
The blood mage nodded in understanding returning Hawke's smile with one of her own.
"We never played such games, Hawke," Merril explained herself, as if she was making excuses.
"I know, Tamlen told me the exact same, he'd never even seen a deck of cards! Elves most definitely have it bad, no chocolate, no fun games! Such a sin," Hawke said dramatically, making the blood mage's mouth pop into the shape of an O.
"Oh but we have some games! And we have rice cake treats! Honestly, I don't think chocolate can be that amazing!" she said, her voice serious as if she did not detect Hawke's sarcasm.
"My dear Merril, I think we should introduce you to chocolate very soon," Hawke laughed, causing her younger brother to watch her with bemusement.
"I'll bring some over tomorrow for you if you like, my Mother always bakes with the spare coin at the end of the month," Carver said, looking at the elven mage sweetly.
Fenris almost snorted at Carver Hawke for his obviousness, you could tell just by the way that he looked at the blood mage that he adored her. He should be smarter than other people having lived amongst mages all of his life that blood magic was something to distance oneself from, he was obviously as naïve as his older sister.
"I'll come with you this time, Carver; I think I've had enough of Mother showing me different ways to style my hair and how to sew for a few weeks," the elder Hawke looked at her sibling, a grin on her face confirming that she suspected the same as Fenris.
"Well she can't have taught you much, you've just taken it out of the bun for once," Aveline chuckled, taking the other seat next to Hawke.
"Look who's talking, man-hands! Pot kettle black!" Isabela jibbed as she spread her long legs on the table, flaunting every inch of her tanned skin, a smile on her bronze lips.
"Shut it, Slattern before I make you shut it," Aveline cursed, the amusement leaving her face in an instance to glare at Isabela in annoyance.
"She taught me to plait it actually, but I think that's just asking for some Lowtown thug to cut it off and wave it around me like a trophy, she's insistent I dye it soon as it's not very becoming," Hawke replied to Aveline, her nose once again wrinkling.
Fenris looked at Hawke's hair; he could see why Hawke's Mother didn't think it was becoming of a young woman like Hawke. Then again, if Hawke's Mother knew what Hawke and her sibling truly got up to on a day to day basis, then she would probably agree that it suited her incredibly. Her hair was almost white with the one red streak, it looked somewhat unique as he had not seen anyone else apart from himself in Kirkwall with such outlandish hair, and yet the crimson streak gave the impression that she constantly had blood in her hair.
"I think your hair is beautiful, sweetheart," the abomination chimed in, throwing her a wink much to Carver's displeasure.
Hawke's cheeks stained pink at the mage's comment and she smiled at him widely. It seemed that even Hawke was not immune to flattery. Fenris frowned at the fact, he would have thought that she would reject the abomination's advances towards her, but it was as if she welcomed them.
He felt eyes watching him and turned to see the Rivaini pirate staring at with a sultry smile playing on her lips.
"I enjoy a man with markings like those," she purred, leaning in an almost peacock style manner, displaying her large breasts.
Fenris swallowed the lump in his throat at the sight of her bosom and replied, "You've enjoyed many a man, I suspect,"
"Where I come from they are called tattoos; Sailors get them all the time," she replied, deflecting the insult with great ease.
"Not made of Lyrium, I suspect," he replied, staring into her brown eyes with a stern look on his face.
"Not a one, and most of the time they are usually breasts," she chuckled, a predatory smile on her face as she viewed him.
"I suppose a pair of lyrium breasts tattooed onto my chest would make things better," he said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at the wild pirate.
"That's me, I'm a helper!" She laughed again.
Fenris felt as if the pirate was viewing him as prey for her next kill, it made him feel uncomfortable as the pirate looked at every inch of his body, but he permitted it.
"Holy Mother of Green cheeses, are we playing this sodding game or just flirting with one another? Is Daisy going to be educating us on Dalish frolics so soon?" Varric announced to the group, snapping the members out of their conversations. Fenris' eyes tore from the pirate to view Hawke almost bright red at whatever Anders had just whispered to her.
He did not like the mage whispering whatever pathetic flattery he spilled in her ear; it made something stir in his bones. What it was he did not know and a large part of him did not want to discover what it was.
"Okay, okay calm down Varric, Maker! I'll go first shall I? I've never kissed a woman," Hawke said, looking around the group as if watching. The men of the group groaned but surprise hit Varric's and Carver's faces when they noticed that Merril downed a shot with them, they weren't shocked at all about Isabela, and Fenris suspected that the pirate would hump a nug if her primal urges were that bad.
"Well, well Daisy! I did not know you batted for the other team!" Varric said, viewing the blood mage with a sudden interest as if he could smell the story oozing from her.
"Varric, I'm terrible at sports!" the blood mage said, a brow furrowed in confusion at the dwarf's comment.
"No he means he didn't know you were a lesbian," Carver Hawke almost sobbed, trying to keep himself calm about the topic, as if waiting for her denial to swing like a pendulum.
"Oh no, I'm just not inclined to either and most of you shem look the same… it's no offense!" the blood mage said and then spluttered at her accidental insult.
The group laughed at the blood mage who laughed back in her nervousness. The foolish elf did not realise that they were laughing at her and not with her.
"Right well, I've never had sex, as everyone in this group damn well knows," Carver blushed furiously, much to the delight of the pirate.
Most of the group downed their drinks, and none of them seemed to notice that Hawke didn't either; it seemed she moved one of the empty shots as a decoy. Was it so embarrassing to her that she not laid with another man? Hawke looked down at the table, the same dark expression marring her features that had before and Fenris suspected something plagued the mage's mind just as he did.
The questions seemed to become more ridiculous, after the blood mage's announcement that she had never been with a human that was it for anything serious. There were questions such as I've never had sex with a lord or noble, I've never worn a breast band, I've never self-pleasured, I've never rode a mabari into battle whilst wearing a powdered wig whilst reciting the Chant of Light. Each of them seemed to be trying to best the other and Fenris watched as the drunkenness of the group began to climax until all logic had left them, rendering them senseless, and laughing at almost nothing. Fenris grinned for the first time at the sight of this group of misfits, they were comrades in arms but they gave him a sense of family and protection just as the fog warriors once had. His thoughts became sour almost at once at their similarities. He remembered the Fog Warriors' kindness and how he repaid them. He would not do it again to these people.
Maybe it was the alcohol in his blood, but he got up and decided he should leave. Forever. The liquor and ale combined were making him feel emotions, a cloud of them and the only ones he could understand were regret and pain. He left the suite without any of them noticing in their drunken debauchery; they probably thought he was going to relieve himself or bring more drinks.
He weaved through the crowd and walked into the night air, inhaling a deep breath in.
Where would he go? What would he do? He thought he could stay but he would not submit these people to the same end that the Fog Warriors had. Doubt clouded his mind.
As he exhaled he felt the tavern door open and eyes stare right at his back.
"Is there something wrong, Fenris?" Hawke voice chimed into his ears.
"No, there is nothing wrong," he said, turning on her with narrowed eyes.
"You do not have to stay you know, your debt is repaid," she said, as if she could read his inner most thoughts.
"I know this," he stated, being somewhat at loss for words as she stared intensely at him. Her hair like his seemed to shine in the moonlight, and for a second he agreed with the blood mage that they almost matched.
"So, tell me what do you once you've stopped running," Fenris mused, actually asking Hawke for advice.
"I don't know, but do tell me when you figure it out," she replied solemnly, staring up at the moon with wide green eyes.
"I fail to see what you are running from, Hawke," he said sceptically raising an eyebrow at her as she stared at the full moon almost lovingly.
"I will not bother you with my own cage, this is not about me, Fenris," she said, a slight breeze moving her hair.
"Danarius is a powerful magister and I have seen him do horrific things to innocent people, this is my burden to bare not anyone else's and when the time comes I will fight for my freedom," Fenris snarled, the very thought of his former master making him become more beast than man.
"You have seen that we are all well-equipped and will stand by you when that time comes," Hawke stated, still looking at the moon.
"You would help someone you know so little of so freely? How can we trust one another?" Fenris asked, dubious as to why this woman he had not known more than a week would throw herself at the mercy of the imperium to help him.
"Because a very long time ago I was burned by twisted people and I know what it is like to be chained," she said, releasing a silent sigh. Her breath stunk of alcohol and Fenris wondered how intoxicated Hawke was to tell him such information. He very much doubted she had said anything like to any of the others; Hawke was a reserved woman when it came to her own problems.
"I can see a good side to you, Fenris, just as I can see a good side to every other one of my companions but I will not force you to stay, the choice is yours," she added, looking away from the moon and straight into his eyes once again. His eyes were a stark contrast from hers, his sullen dark eyes boring into her bright green for a moment. Maybe it was the alcohol but Fenris felt a tingling sensation rush down his spine.
"I can see myself staying, for the right reasons," he said, looking her up and down appreciatively. He mentally winced at his behaviour that the alcohol had brought on him; he was acting no better towards her than the leech of an abomination! "I should thank you once again for your help against the hunters, had I know Anso would find me a woman so capable I might have asked him to look sooner," he said, a true smile lifting from the corners of his lips. His first ever smile and it was at a mage. The alcohol had broken down his perfect defences, it seemed,;his smile faltered as he tried to build the walls back up.
He waited for a reaction out of her, he expected her to purse her lips as she had done when the abomination did something like this or maybe shoot him a smile to reward him for his compliment. He felt idiotic, embarrassed and all of a sudden sober.
"Maybe I should be the one thanking Anso," she said in an unfathomable tone, a coy grin playing on her face.
A fire scorched in the pit of his stomach, he stared into her eyes for a moment longer. He did not question the anomalous feeling that had begun to coarse from his stomach into his chest, but he found when he tried to ignore it, the more it burnt and tried to writhe its way to Hawke as if she was its beacon. He could not bear it any longer, his cowardice making him drop her blazing stare, looking at the floor in defiance to the fire that felt like it was burning into his very soul.
The fire died down as quickly as it had sprung up but before he could regain confidence to look back into the iridescent eyes that belonged to this puzzling woman she had already left him in the middle of the alley, the cool breeze helping him regain his composure.