Chapter Thirty-Five: Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels Goes to Washington
"Current event. Somebody tell me what's going on in the world." Dad said to us in class. "Stuff happened in some country, some team won a game, and it's cold somewhere with a chance of I don't care. Am I all caught up?" Maya asked and I giggled. "Yeah. Your educations complete." Dad replied sarcastically. "Anybody who's gonna turn out well got something to say? Lucas." "All the news is about the elections." Lucas stated. "So are all the commercials." Farkle added. "Why should we care about the elections when we don't get to vote?" Riley asked. "Who else feels that way?" dad asked and we all raised our hands.
"Well, that's a shame guys because this world's gonna belong to you soon." He told us. "The one you messed up?" Maya questioned. "Yeah, thanks anyway." Austin said. "Oh, so you got problems with the planet you're inheriting?" dad asked. "When I read the news it makes me feel like this isn't even a world I'd want to rule." Farkle admitted as we all focused our attention on him. "Wow, Farkle. I've never heard you say anything like that before." I said to him. "I'm a visionary, Caroline. I look ahead. You. Me. Mars. Let's do this." Farkle told me. "She has a boyfriend." Lucas reminded Farkle and Farkle just shrugged.
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You guys are supposed to be optimistic. Future leaders. You don't get cynical until high school." Dad told us. "Why don't you elect people who care enough to make things better?" Lucas asked. "I like to think I do every time I vote." Dad said. "But the truth is I'm not responsible for the quality of people running for office." "How are these people even chosen?" I asked. "Well, the parties choose the best candidates they can come up with." Dad explained. The door to the classroom opened and uncle Eric ran in. We had to wait awhile because it took him some time to catch his breath.
"I am running for senator of the grape state New York and I need your votes." He told us between gasps for breath. "Kids don't vote." Riley told him. "Then uh-oh!" uncle Eric said. "Everybody close your books. It's the end of the world." Dad told us. "I'm really dizzy. I've done this in every classroom." Uncle Eric told us before he fell down to the ground.
We were in Topanga's bakery after school and Uncle Eric was explaining to us how he got into the running for senator of New York. "So they plucked me off the street and hustled me into a limousine like I was fancy." He said. "Who was in the limousine?" Riley asked. "The bow tie man with the big glasses." Uncle Eric answered. "He was a whisperer, right? He was one of these whisperers." Uncle Eric started walking towards my parents. "He was like," He then started to shout, "'Eric, you are the only one that has a chance to defeat senator Jefferson Davis Graham in the primary!'" "That's not a whisper, Eric." Dad told his brother.
"I also don't know what a primary is!" uncle Eric shouted. "The primary is the first election where the voters select each party's candidate." Lucas stated. "Oh, that's wrong." Uncle Eric told my boyfriend. "Then the winners of the primary run against each other in the general election to see who goes to Washington." Farkle said, adding on to Lucas' explanation. "Are you a robot?" uncle Eric asked Farkle. "I'm a real boy." Farkle answered. "Birth certificate?" dad asked. "Still looking." Farkle answered.
"Eric, senator Graham is a six-term senator." Dad told uncle Eric. "Eric, you don't have enough money to run against him." Mom added. "Eric, the bow tie man said he would help me with all of that." Uncle Eric said. "Eric, you can't beat this guy." Dad told him. "He's done bad things. People who do bad things shouldn't be in power. I want to beat him." Uncle Eric explained. "I don't know how he does it, but tell me you're not on his side." Dad said to mom. "Not. Eric, you don't even have a campaign team. Who's your team?" she asked. "Well, that's why I'm here. I want Riley, Caroline, and her friends to run my campaign." Uncle Eric explained.
"I mean tell me you're not on his side now." Dad said to mom. "Not, yet." Mom said. "Eric, they're kids. Do you really think this is a good idea?" "It's a great idea." Someone commented. We turned to see a dark-haired boy with glasses. "The senator took money from schools and gave it to his rich friends." The boy said. "Why would he do that? Who are you?" Uncle Eric asked. "Because his rich friends are the ones that got him elected. I'm TJ. TJ Murphy." TJ said, answering both questions.
"So he chose his own future over ours?" I questioned. "Beat the bad man, Eric." Maya said. "I'm gonna do my best, Moesha." Uncle Eric told Maya. "How do you know so much about this?" Farkle asked TJ. "I'm the one that caught him." He answered. "I have a website called 'Thorn in Your Side', I'm the thorn." "So letting the kids run Eric's campaign-," mom trailed off. "Would show that Eric would rather build schools." Austin added. "Which shows that he cares about our futures as much as his." Farkle continued.
"What's your deal man with the ideas?" uncle Eric asked TJ. TJ stood up and walked towards uncle Eric. "I believe in you. I'd like to help." TJ told him. "Hmm. I need to have a secret meeting with my team behind closed doors." Eric told TJ. He ran outside, closed the door, and pushed his face up against the door before asking, "What do you think?" "Clearly we need all the help we can get." Maya said. Uncle Eric opened the door and said, "Welcome aboard, PK."
The next day in class as I sat at my desk janitor Harley came in and was setting up a TV. "As you are about to see, we've had our share of election surprises. But America loves an underdog." Dad explained to us. "Matthews, you mind if I stick 'round for this class?" janitor Harley asked. "Of course, Harley. You're interested in politics?" dad questioned. "I'm interested in why school budgets are being cut. I'm interested in why they take away art and music." Janitor Harley explained. "You like music?" dad asked. "Without music, I'd do something." Janitor Harley answered. "I know, Harley. I know you would." Dad replied.
"Hey you guys, we don't need to be afraid." Uncle Eric said as he came into the room. "We can win this thing. We just need to remember the wise word of president F. Doctor Oosevelt, who said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear…" Uncle Eric trailed off when he turned and saw janitor Harley. "Wow. Ha ha! This looks just like Harley Keiner. Oh, Harley Keiner. Harley Keiner. If I could do my whole life over again, I would give that guy such a what-for. You do. You look a lot like Harley Keiner. You got the whole Harley Keiner head. The Harley Keiner face. It says Harley on your shirt." Then he realized. "Oh, this is terrible."
"Uncle Eric is running for senator." I informed janitor Harley. "Can we count on your vote?" Riley asked. "I don't know. What are you going to do for the little guys?" Janitor Harley asked uncle Eric. "Never really thought of you as a little guy, Harley. You know something? I'm sure this school is really well taken care of." Uncle Eric said before he kissed janitor Harley on the cheek and I tried to contain my giggle. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I'm supposed to." Uncle Eric answered. "Babies. You kiss babies, you maroon." Dad told him. "Okay, Matthews. You kiss nice. You got my vote." Janitor Harley told uncle Eric.
"All right, well, hey, there's one. Now, how many do we need, robot?" uncle Eric asked Farkle, walking towards him. "Three million." Farkle answered. "And how many do we have robot?" uncle Eric asked. "One." Farkle answered. "Now burn me with your laser eyes." Uncle Eric told him and Farkle just stared at him. "No, don't. Okay, do it. Do it. Let's not. Let's not, let's not. Okay. Okay, phew. You know, we get along really well, don't we robot?" uncle asked. "Yes, because with you around I feel really good about myself." Farkle answered honestly. "Ha!" uncle Eric laughed as he high-fived Farkle before walking to the back of the room.
"Okay, everybody, up here please." Dad said and he turned on the TV. "In the 1960 presidential election, a young senator from Massachusetts was not expected to beat Richard Nixon, the current vice president. But then they held the very first televised debate. And John Kennedy, the underdog, became the 35th president of the United States. That's how powerful the media is." We turned to see uncle Eric sitting on a desk with popcorn wearing 3D glasses.
After school, we went to Topanga's to help uncle Eric with his campaign. "Senator Graham." Mom said. "Topanga Matthews, isn't it? I never forget a face. Especially one that came out against me." Senator Graham said to my mom. "My law firm opposed the senator's plans to charge admission to parks and recreational areas that were previously free." Mom explained. "A dollar for kids to run around and play, wasn't it, senator?" "It's all about making money for the state." Senator Graham told her. "At the expensive of our children?" mom questioned. "Well, we don't have enough money and there are so many children." Graham said. "That's enough." The guy next to senator Graham said. "Okay." Senator Graham said.
"Eric, is this bow tie, big glasses, whisper man?" dad asked his brother. "Um…" uncle Eric started. He stood up and walked towards the guy before asking, "Could you say something?" "I believe we're here to discuss the finer points of the campaign." Bow tie man said. "This is him." Uncle Eric confirmed. "He works for Graham." Dad told uncle Eric. "No, he likes me." Uncle Eric retorted. "Oh, I do like you. Who's running you campaign?" bow tie man asked. "The children." Uncle Eric answered. "The children. Ha!" senator Graham laughed.
"Interesting." Bow tie man commented. "Yes, interesting." Senator Graham said. "Thought you'd like that." TJ said. "Murphy." Bow tie man said. "Wolff." TJ replied. "I'm sorry. You guys know each other?" uncle Eric asked. "Another face that came out against me. This guy's a little instigator who just won't go away." Senator Graham explained. "Three debates." TJ stated. "As many as you want." Senator Graham retorted. "One debate." Wolff decided. "One debate." Senator Graham repeated.
"We have held this office for three decades. We will dictate all the terms." Mr. Wolff said. "I'm sorry. You work for him?" uncle Erica asked. "Sure. Let's go with that." Mr. Wolff said. "But you picked me to run against him. You said I was the only one that had a chance." Uncle Eric said. "That's correct. You are the only one who has a chance to make the senator look good again in the eyes of the public." Mr. Wolff explained and I realized why he had picked uncle Eric to run for senator. "See you at the debate kids." Senator Graham said before he and Mr. Wolff left.
"They played me." Uncle Eric stated. "I'm just supposed to lose." "Supposed to." TJ said. "Like Kennedy was." Riley and I pointed out. "To Nixon." Maya added. "Yeah, but those guys weren't real." Uncle Eric retorted. "I'm done. I'm going home. I'm gonna miss you, Scarecrow, Lion, Dorothy, wizard, Glinda. Robot. I think I'm gonna miss you most of all." We looked at him confused before he left the bakery.
"Current events. Somebody tell me what's going on." Dad said the next day as we sat in class. "We should always have parks to play in." Riley and I said. "We should always look out for the little guy." Maya stated. "we should lower the voting age." Lucas and Austin said together. "We need to treat this planet better. I don't want to go to Mars. I want to rule an earth that has good air and good water. A good earth for our children." Farkle said looking at me, Riley, and Maya. "Our children?" we questioned. "I want eleven. Split them up however you want." Farkle told us. Maya, Riley, and I looked at each other. "How do you want…" Riley started to ask, but she was cut off by Maya and I saying, "You get eleven." And Lucas saying, "Farkle, you do realize that I am Caroline's boyfriend, right?" but he got no answer from said boy.
"So suddenly you guys are involved in your world." Dad said. "It's the only one we've got, isn't it?" Lucas questioned. "That's true. So what can we do to make it better?" dad asked. "You have the vote." Maya stated. "Why don't they let us vote? They don't trust us?" Austin asked. "I would vote to make sure everybody takes care of each other." I said and looked at Riley. "Everybody should have food and shelter and a warm coat for the winter." Riley added. "I approve that message." Maya said.
"Well, I agree with you girls. And, Lucas and Austin, you wanna lower the voting age? Show us you can be trusted. Find your issue. Find your passion. Because we don't have enough. In the last election, the voter turnout was the lowest in our country. Change that. Teach us to care." Dad told us. "Well, how do we do that if we can't vote?" Lucas asked. "Find somebody you know who can." Dad answered. "Our parents?" Austin questioned. "Yeah, your parents. And we'll listen to you. You know why?" dad asked. "You love us." Riley and I said. "Yeah, we do." Dad agreed.
"You guys live in an age where you can send your message with just one click. The media is even more powerful now. So have a message. Because it's your world too." He said.
Riley, Maya, and I were at the apartment because we had to make sure that uncle Eric is going to the debate and will be senator Graham. Maya was pouring chocolate cereal in a large bowl while I got the chocolate syrup and Riley got the milk. We walked over to Maya and showed her that we got the chocolate syrup and milk. With just a nod we walked over to uncle Eric with our mission ready to see how this will end. "Uncle Eric, it's Riley and Caroline. You've been sleeping here all day." Riley and I told him. "I'm sad." He replied. "Eric, it's Moesha. We need you." Maya told him. "So sad." He said. Riley got down on her knees in asked, "Did the big bad political man scare you?" "He made me sad." Uncle Eric replied.
"Well get up we need a voice!" Maya shouted. "No." uncle Eric said. "Not getting up. And there is nothing you could do that's gonna make me possibly get-" Maya put the bowl of cereal in front of his face. "Oh. Oh, that's just a big chocolatey bowl of goodness, isn't it?" "Get back in the race, you can put this in your face." Maya sang. "No. No, I will not be bought by your catchy jingle." Uncle Eric told her. Riley and I looked at each other and had a silent conversation before we sang the jingle too, "Get back in the race, you can put this in your face." "Oh, man, now it's gonna be in my head all day, you mind witches. Gimme that." Uncle Eric said as he sat up. Riley and I handed him the milk and chocolate syrup then sat next to him while Maya was still holding the bowl of cereal.
He opened both the chocolate syrup and milk, squeezed some of the syrup in his mouth before pouring in some milk. He swished it around in his mouth before he swallowed it. "Oh, that's the stuff." He commented. "So you're in?" Maya questioned. "Hold." Uncle Eric told Riley handing her the milk. "Hold." He hand me the chocolate syrup and I passed it to Riley, who put it down. "Hand." He told Maya and Maya gave him the bowl of cereal. Maya tried to give him the spoon but he said, "I won't be needing that." Then he proceeded to dunk his head in the bowl of cereal and eat it. He brought his head up from the bowl and looked at us.
"You know they set us up to lose, Maya." Uncle Eric told her. "You know my name?" Maya questioned. "Of course I know your name. I like you very much." He told her. "Then help me grow up in a better world." Maya replied. "How?" uncle Eric asked. "Win." Riley and I answered. "You think we can?" he asked. "Yeah, I do." Riley answered. "Why?" he asked. "Because we completely believe in the impossible." Maya answered. "We believe we can change the world." I added. "Why?" he asked again. "Because we're kids." Maya answered. "Isn't that why you wanted our help?" Riley asked. Uncle Eric handed the bowl of cereal to me, but I was not about to dunk my face in cereal so I gave it to Riley. "Okay." She said before dunking her head in the cereal. After a while she lifted her head up. "That's my niche." Uncle Eric commented.
It was the evening and we were at school for the senatorial debate between senator Graham and uncle Eric. "Okay, first question to senator Graham. Please identify yourself." Dad said. Janitor Harley stood up and we turned to look at him. "Thank you. Harley Keiner, head custodian. I'm proud of my school and the environment I help create for my kids." He said and everyone clapped. "Aw, really? Thank you, my kids. My question is, what are you going to do for the little guy?" "I have never believed there are little guys. I've always believed that all voters are equal in stature." Senator Graham explained. "I already don't believe you." Janitor Harley stated.
"What about non-voters?" Lucas asked. "This election isn't about them. They'll have elections of their own soon enough." Senator Graham said. "Lucas, you're not allowed to interrupt. The senator has one minute." Dad told Lucas. "Thank you." Senator Graham thanked my dad. "Time." Dad declared hit the timer. "Mayor Matthews, your response?" "Of course this election is about them. Every election is about them. We have children and we make our whole lives about them." Uncle Eric stated. "I'm sorry. Hold a minute. Did you just say you have children?" senator graham asked. "Because you don't actually have any children of your own, do you, Matthews?"
"No, I don't. I have two niches and their brother who's my cousin Auggie!" uncle Eric exclaimed. "I have come to this fine school to stand in front of you children, even though you do not vote, because you're too young to understand what's important in this world." Senator Graham explained. Farkle stood up, "Well, we understand that we want our chance to get to live in it." Then Austin stood up, "And that should be enough to lower the voting age so we can get a chance to vote against people like you." "To vote for whom? Him?" senator Graham questioned, motioning towards uncle Eric. "This man-child who doesn't even have experience in his biggest issue? He has not raised children. Convince me you have a right to lead them and I will concede the future to you and to them."
"You're right. I don't have the experience that you have, but you've been doing this for a very long time, senator, and we don't see anything getting better. And, no, I don't have kids yet, but I care about them very much." Uncle Eric explained. "But you can't prove it." Senator Graham retorted. "But I can." TJ stated. "Excuse me?" senator Graham asked. "My name is TJ Murphy. Thomas Jonathan Murphy. Eric Matthews once knew me as…" TJ trailed off. "Tommy." Uncle Eric stated in disbelief. "Hi, Eric." TJ said. "The best thing Eric ever did for me was one of the hardest decisions to make." While TJ was saying this, almost everyone got their phones out and started to record it. "He gave me up to a wonderful family that raised me, but I've never forgotten what I learned from Eric, either. Kindness, honesty and more respect for human beings than I've ever known anyone else to have. Eric Matthews sacrificed himself for a future of a child. You sacrifice the future of children for yourself, senator." TJ stood up. "So here's my question: Is there really any choice here?"
"Tommy." Uncle Eric said walking towards TJ. "Man. Look at you. You grew up to be a really good person." "Yeah, I learned from some really good people." TJ told him and uncle Eric brought him in for a hug. "And now you may applaud." Dad told us and everyone in the audience stood up while clapping. "Well maybe we don't have a vote, Lucas and Austin." Maya said to them. "Did you just call us Lucas and Austin?" Austin and Lucas asked her. "I've always known your names. I like us all very much." Maya explained. "Maybe we do have a voice." Farkle stated. "So what do you wanna say robot?" Riley asked him. "You. Me. Earth. Let's do this thing." Farkle declared. Riley, Maya, and I walked up on to the stage and gave uncle Eric a hug. When we pulled away we noticed senator Graham walking away.
After the debate, we all went back to the apartment, including TJ, Lucas, Austin, and Farkle. "Eric." Lucas called out. "What's the first things you're going to do if you win?" "I'm going to adopt Tommy." Uncle Eric answered. "Can't." TJ told uncle Eric. "But you can hire me. I'd like to keep being part of the campaign, if that's okay with you." "I was hoping you'd say that." Uncle Eric told him. Just then my mom and dad ran into the living room with suitcases, for some reason. Riley stood up, "Guys, did you hear? Uncle Eric could win. He could be one of our country's leaders." "Yeah, we know." Dad said. "So where you going?" Riley asked. "Far." Mom said. "Far, far away." Dad added. "Far as we can go. Good luck to you." Mom said. "Bye." Dad also said before her and dad ran out of the apartment. "I saw that coming." I sated as Riley sat back down.