Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all and I hope you enjoy it. Sorry for the delay in this chapter but I am still getting back into my normal routine of writing after being ill and it doesn't help that my neurological disorder is interfering with my memory. I storm on though and I'm really enjoying the fact my writing makes me feel better. I'm so glad that you're opening up to the idea of Emily and Reid as a couple. I must admit that I think they would be great as a couple because she's always been the one in the series to talk sense into him and confront him when he's being a bit of an ass. Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you all think.

Thank you for all the awesome reviews. They've really made me smile and I can't thank you enough for being such great readers. Thanks!

Enjoy and please review

All mistakes are my own

Two weeks later

Reid laid on the hospital bed as he waited for the doctor to come and see him. Today, he had a check up on his legs and was hoping to at least be able to get the cages removed from them. He didn't mind the casts too much but did miss the ability to just jump out of bed and walk to his favorite coffee shop. They had already visited x-ray first to have his legs checked. Morgan sat beside with a smile on his face as he looked down at his phone.

"Who are you messaging?" Reid asked.

"Garcia is. She wants up to the minute updates on how this appointment goes and then she wants me to take you to the BAU to see everyone. Emily is settling back in well."

"Thanks for bringing me to this appointment, Morgan."

"No problem, kid. Besides, a little while away from my paperwork is fine by me."

"I'm usually the one doing the paperwork and you're always the one kicking down the doors," Reid chuckled softly.

"The leg is mightier than the pen," Morgan said in a deep voice that made Reid let out a snort as he laughed. He calmed down just as the doctor walked into the room.

"Hello, Spencer. How are you doing today?" Dr Layton smiled as she put down her clipboard. He already knew her from two previous check ups.

"I'm doing okay," Reid said before looking to his legs. "These are just taking a long time to heal."

"Breaks like yours do tend to take a lot time to heal and your compound fracture only adds to that. From the tests results I've seen from your first operation, your bones were not the strongest to begin with and I am going to recommend a treatment to try to remedy that. I've looked at your x rays and the casts will have to stay on but we can take the cages off as your bones have stabilised enough for us to do that. I'm also going to be taking these casts off and replacing them with fresh casts. We're going to be sawing through them which might cause you a little pain as the vibrations will hit your legs. Are you okay with all this?"

"It's a step in the right direction," Reid smiled.

"That's the way to think," Dr Layton said before bringing out a pen and picking up her clipboard. "Have you had any other problems that I need to know about?"

"No, not really," Reid shrugged. "I've just been trying to take this recovery one step at a time. I've-"

Reid stopped mid-sentence and glanced at Morgan. Dr Layton looked at him with a gentle smile. "Spencer, what is it?"

"Reid, it's okay to tell her. Is it something you don't want me to know?" Morgan frowned.

"I've been having panic attacks," Reid admitted.

"When?" Morgan asked as he stood next to the bed and looked at the pain in Reid's eyes. "You haven't shown signs of having panic attacks."

"I'm sorry," Reid apologised as he picked at the bottom on his t-shirt. "I didn't want you to see and it's only certain things that set them off."

"What sets them off, kid?"

"Garcia brought me some soup and it was tomato soup. I was eating it and some of it splashed on my hand. I wheeled myself to the bathroom and then I just lost it. Dell killed someone in front of me and I had that man's blood splatter across my skin. I can still hear that man's body thudding against the car and onto the ground. Morgan, he climbed in the car after that and his hand was around my throat so tightly that I couldn't breathe. I thought he was going to kill me and that I would never see you again. When I had the panic attack, all the fear and pain I felt that day came flooding back and I could barely breathe when I was in the bathroom. You've all been proud of me for trying to recover and I didn't want you to see it was happening. I'm sorry."

Reid closed his eyes and quickly wiped the tear that escaped from his eyes.

"Would you like to talk to a therapist here?" the doctor asked. "We have a few doctors who deal with severe trauma. Panic attacks have a negative on both the mind and body. I think it might be good for you. I know you have your friends but it might be easier talking to someone who you don't have a previous connection with."

"I think I'd like that," Reid breathed out shakily. "Could I have a moment alone with Morgan?"

"Of course," Dr Layton smiled. "I'll get everything ready for your casts to be replaced and be back soon."

Dr Layton left the room and closed the door behind her. Morgan sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on Reid's shoulder. "You know you can talk to us, Reid. We're here for you. I'm surprised that you want to see the therapist. You've always been resistant against the idea of therapy."

"It's easier to talk to a stranger," Reid admitted. "When I used to go to my narcotics anonymous meetings, it was somehow easier to talk to them all because they didn't know me. It's the same with the therapist. Morgan, I know that everyone is there for me. That brilliant day in the park made me feel so much better and we're family, I know that but that's the reason I can't always tell you everything. I see pain in your eyes when I tell you what he did to me and how I was feeling when he was doing it. It hurts to see that pain in your eyes and when I see that pain, I just want to shut my mouth. I can deal with the pain inside of myself but I struggle when I know I'm causing my family to hurt inside. Talking to the therapist means I don't have to be afraid of hurting you again."

Morgan stayed silent as he absorbed what Reid had just told him before he began speaking again. "Kid, the pain you see in our eyes isn't from what you tell us. I will never forget seeing you hanging upside down from that trunk. I could barely tell it was you and there was so much blood. Your eyes were swollen shut and you looked like a rag doll. Did you know that Hotch has nightmares?"

Reid looked up and shook his head.

"He dreams about the calls that Dell taunted him with except that in his dreams, he fails to bring you home and he's left standing over a coffin. Dell is the one who brought us this pain and I never want you to think that you did. Talking to a therapist is good for you but I'm still here for you and so is the rest of your family.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you all," Reid grinned before wiping his cheek again.

"No, kid, you've got it the wrong way round," Morgan chuckled softly. "We don't know what we did to deserve such a great man in our family."

The next day

Reid felt his chest tighten as the darkness surrounded him. Only moments before, he had been comfortable reading his books when all the lights had blacked out. He tried to block the memory of waking up in the trunk of the Dell's car but he couldn't keep it in the back of his mind. Other memories came surging forth as a flash of lightning came from outside his window.

'AHHHHHHH!'

His own screams echoed in his head from Dell's sick session of using a cattle prod. Reid didn't register the door opening as he began to wheeze. Emily rushed into the room with the candle in her hand. She was spending the night at Rossi's as Rossi was going out with an old friend. She placed it on the bedside unit and let the light cover Reid. "Hey, Reid. It's a blackout because of a storm. I'm here. It's Emily."

She held Reid's face in her hands and looked into his eyes. "Spencer Reid, look at me. You're not back with Dell."

Reid focused on her face as he realised that some light had returned to his room. He let out a sob and shook his head. "I'm sorry. Everything went dark and then I heard the lightning. I just went back to a bad place."

"It's okay," Emily smiled sadly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was dark when I woke up in the trunk of Dell's car. I was in so much pain and my eyes had swollen shut from the viscous beating he had given me. The lightning reminded me of when he used the cattle prod. I didn't want to scream for him but I couldn't help it. Every nerve inside of my body was on fire when he used the prod. He had all the power and I was just his puppet."

"No, you weren't his puppet, you were a man fighting to stay alive for his family. There are a lot of people, Spencer, that would have not survived the amount of torture and abuse that you went through. You're strong."

"How can I be strong when these panic attacks are taking over my mind?"

"Panic attacks are not a weakness. I had panic attacks after what happened with Doyle and it's a way to process what happened. They are signs that you still need time to recover and that you still need to work through the trauma. They'll pass with time but for now, they might happen and I want you to not be afraid of them."

"I'll try," he said before gazing at the candle. "I hope the power comes on soon."

Emily rose up from the bed and disappeared for a few seconds before returning to the room with two more candles. Using the flame on the candle already lit, she lit the two candles so more light came to Reid. She walked over to the bookshelf which was dimly illuminated and picked up Reid's copy of Empty Planet. The team had brought a large selection of books to Rossi's house for Reid's recovery. She sat on the bed next to Reid and opened the book. "I don't know how long the power will be out but I do know that I'm going to read to you until you either fall asleep or the power comes on."

"I know that book off by heart."

Emily shrugged. "You may know it by memory but you've never heard Emily Prentiss read it. I know you like being read things and it calms you down."

"It does," he nodded. Emily leaned against his shoulder and began to read from the book. Reid closed his eyes and listened to Emily as she began to read from one of his favourite book. Every word soothed the fear that had come from his panic attack. He leaned against her and let out a soothing breath of relief. He felt safe in the warmth of the light and that was all he wanted in that moment. Emily's hand wrapped around his own hand and he realised how he didn't mind if the power took a while to come back on.

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