Chapter 22- In the face of a giant, the dagger falls.

So, guys seriously! I am so happy you all seem to be enjoying this! Thank you for your follows, your reviews and favourites!

My beautiful beta, Enchantm3nt has been so amazing through this!

Here is another instalment… I will be on act two very very soon.

Lunaa x

Hawke despised the smell of rotting fish. Of all the disgusting scents she had been subjected to during her time in Kirkwall the scent of dead fish caused her stomach to twist in adamant protest. Maybe it was because she had been born and raised in the farmlands of Ferelden, where the only fish to ever be seen were the salmon that swam upstream and were very alive with no scent lingering. Maybe it was because it was the corpse after corpse of fish crammed into a wet barrel that made the smell so repugnant to her. Either way, it did not matter; she hated the smell and that was that.

She stood at the stairs of the docks, waiting for Aveline and the others to accompany her.. She had initially asked Isabela and her brother to accompany her on this venture, but Isabela had refused to come and mediate with the Qunari, stating that it was far too boring and she had much better plans. Sometimes Hawke wished she could be as free as Isabela, but then she realised in her own way Isabela was not really free; the more she spoke to the pirate the more she realised that something more than Castillion was tying her down to the renowned City of Chains, and the more she realised the more she wanted to find out.

So, as Hawke was a man short for her venture Fenris had offered himself for the day. Hawke admitted that it would be quite handy to have Fenris around, since Anders was busy at the clinic it gave her some comfort that he at least could reach in and grab wherever the Qunari decided to throw their spear. She still found what had happened weeks ago between them quite awkward; she felt almost ashamed, after seven – nearly eight – years of control and independence, all it had taken was a few shots of drink and she had almost come onto him.

And yet, Fenris had stayed.

And he was still willing to be around her after she awkwardly tried to speak her emotions to him. It was childish, but she felt a pang of jealousy towards Merrill who had Carver's full attention. She would normally speak to Carver about such things and now it seemed they were becoming more distant by the day. It truly sank in the other day, when her brother had decided to go out on a date with Merrill rather than spend the day with her to make sure she didn't get sad or lonely on father's name day. So she had feebly tried to speak with Fenris, a man who didn't understand his own feelings, and instead of trying to explain herself she had walked off. She was pathetic.

Maker, she was going to order herself a bottle of wine to go tonight.

She cast her eyes around the docks, searching for trouble as she always did. She saw a few men exchanging contraband, but the dock was mainly full of workers at this time of day. It seemed that the bad guys only really came out when it was dark, making it much better for her. She loved the dark.

She brought her eyes to the stairs and was greeted by the sight of her brother and Fenris, following the charge of the guard captain Aveline. Whenever Aveline barged her way in, Hawke could automatically tell she felt uncomfortable or stressed, and Aveline tended to relieve her stress by crushing enemies with her Templar shield (Wesley's shield no less) or by storming along the streets looking as intimidating as a bull in an ornament shop.

Her brother had not come home until late last night, and he was oddly in the best of moods. She did not ask him what had happened; in fact, she had pretended not to care. It was childish and stupid but she felt that Carver should have been there with her; they were all that they had left now that Beth and Father were gone. It was their duty to Mother as well.

"Oh come on now big sister, if you brood that much I think Varric will be renaming you Broody," Carver cajoled as he hit the last step, a cheerful smile on his face.

"And if you carry on smiling like that, he's going to either rename you Gormless. What's up did you finally have sex last night?" she replied in a cool manner, ignoring a passing woman's gasp of shock.

Aveline looked at Hawke for a moment as if trying to understand what kind of mood she was in, she then looked at Carver who flashed a look of innocence and cocked his head at her in confusion.

"Before it even starts, that is enough! Let's go and speak with the Arishok before you two start and make a laughing stock out of yourselves, or worse, the guards!" Aveline snapped, her voice booming with authority as she stared at both Hawke and Carver in a challenging manner.

"I agree, the Arishok will most likely take you and your dwarven accomplice as fools and deem your new business partner unworthy of the trade," Fenris added, moving his fringe from his eyes as he did so. Hawke tried not to look at him but found herself unable to resist, she threw a quick glance and her stomach dropped as she saw that Fenris was staring at her. His manner was stoic and his body its usual spiky self, but something in his eyes spoke volumes to her.

"Well, Mum, Dad as always what would we do without you to make sure that we behave like good children!" Hawke quipped back, sarcasm drenching her entire voice.

Aveline's eyebrow raised almost into her ginger hairline, but she did not deem Hawke's quip worthy of a reply. Which was a shame, since right now Hawke just needed a good argument; she needed to vent. She needed to vent her anger before she snapped at Carver and did something stupid; it was whenever Hawke was angry or scared that her magic seemed to unravel in her hands. And of course if she did that, then Fenris would most likely run his sword through her as soon as he witnessed it.

Hawke took a deep breath, reined in what little control she had today, and began to speak as a leader, rather than an annoyed child who had thrown the teddy out of the cot and wanted it desperately back.

"Right, we're here to sweeten the deal, let Javaris do the talking, he's the one we're working with here and Aveline try best not to intimidate any of them, you're here because you want to request a meeting with the Arishok, remember?" Hawke said, looking around the group as they answered with yes's and nods.

They made their way up the stairs to Qunari compound, but before they could enter they were greeted by two rather large and formidable looking Qunari. Most Qunari were formidable, but these seemed to be some of the largest that Hawke had ever seen. Truthfully, she had only ever seen one Qunari, and that one had lacked horns and was locked in a cage. She had enjoyed speaking with Sten about the Qun, even if she didn't agree with it, despite what Sten had done, she had tried sneaking him some food so that he wouldn't suffer quite so much, but he had refused her every single time, he wanted the punishment. She could think of little worse, slowly starving to death only be butchered by darkspawn. "Human, what is your business here?" one of them asked, staring at her with an annoyed look on his war painted face. Hawke knew there was a time and a place for her wit, and this was certainly not one of them. Qunari were known for having short tempers.

"I have business with Javaris Tintop and the Arishok," Hawke replied in a collected manner. She wasn't stupid enough to tell a Qunari she wanted to invite them all over for tea and biscuits.

"Then you may pass today, human," the Qunari replied in a cold tone, moving away from the gate and pushing it open with just the flex of his arm.

The Qunari compound was smaller than what Hawke had assumed, Qunari were dotted everywhere like the fish in the barrels apart from the fact they were quite alive. It was almost claustrophobic, there was so little space. They walked forwards and Hawke could instantly tell which one of them was the Arishok. It was not that he was sat on a makeshift throne at the top of the stairs, or the armour that he wore, it was that he was the biggest fucker that Hawke had ever seen. And that was putting it lightly. Even the Arishok's horns were twice as big as the Qunari's that were littered around the compound. He looked down at Hawke as she approached with an air of annoyance, as if she was a little bug buzzing in his ear. She looked towards the stairs to see that Javaris was already here as he had planned, twiddling his thumbs and playing with his hair in a nervous manner. Hawke couldn't fault him, she was twice the size of the dwarf and even she was shitting it.

"Ah, my right hand arrives! Here she is, Arishok! The deal can be done!" Javaris exclaimed at the sight of Hawke, feigning confidence in a manner only a business man could do.

The Arishok looked at Hawke with a silent disgust for a second, then turned his gaze back on the small redheaded dwarf.

Before Hawke or Javaris could speak, Fenris walked closer towards the huge Qunari leader, his face carved in polite seriousness.

"Arishokost, Marass Shakra anaara essam Qun," he recited from the top of his head, giving the Arishok a small bow as he did so.

All of the things that Hawke thought that she would see in her life, she did not once put a coin on one of those things being Fenris reciting the Qunari language to the Arishok. Fenris had never mentioned that he had even been among Qunari, let alone that he knew how to speak to them in their native tongue. It made her wonder what else Fenris knew that he hadn't told her.

The Arishok's expression seemed to match hers also, as he stared at Fenris for a moment in disbelief, shaking his head as he muttered more to himself than anyone else, "The Qun, from an elf, the madness of this place."

"Friend of yours?" Hawke asked, turning her head to the right to gaze at Fenris for a moment as she recovered from her moment of shock.

Fenris looked at her for a moment with a scowl, as if he was recalling something unpleasant.

"Friend of no one," he stated sombrely.

Javaris looked at the exchange between Hawke and Fenris and then turned back, the dwarf deeming it as nothing more than idle chatter, instead he turned his full attention back to the Arishok, flashing the giant what Hawke could only describe as the dwarf's selling smile. If she wasn't so on edge because of all the gigantic horned men and women walking around she would have laughed. Then again, as she looked around the compound she thought to herself how can really you tell which gender's which?

"Yes, well, that said, I am here to report to you my highly esteemed Arishok, that your hated Tal-Vashoth were felled one and all! Right? Yes they were," Javaris said confidently after Hawke gave him a swift nod of confirmation that the deed had indeed been done, "so that being said, I am open to negotiations for the explosive powder as we agreed!" the dwarf's voice became swiftly business like and Hawke for a moment admired the weasel of a dwarf merely for his business manner.

The Arishok looked at the dwarf for a moment in disgust, his nose flared up into the letter V as he spat out bluntly the word, "no."

The simple refusal seemed to throw Javaris off edge, and the once chatty dwarf had nothing to reply to so instead turn to Hawke, his voice panicky as he whispered in a hurried tone, "Make your chatty elf say something, he's not getting it."

Hawke looked at Fenris for a moment, considering asking for his aid. Fenris stared back at her for a moment, a slight grin on his face as if he knew what she was going to ask. She was already in a bad mood as it was, and things had become increasingly awkward between the both of them since she had tried to explain her feelings to him like a small child and now here he was with the corners of his mouth slightly turned up which was basically a smile for the broody elf looking at her smugly. Oh no, she wasn't asking him for anything.

"Arishok, may I ask why you do not wish to honour your deal with Javaris?" Hawke said, completely ignoring Fenris and turning to the Arishok. She could feel his glare burning into the back of her head, but she was feeling so sour today she just didn't care. Maker, she really needed to vent her anger.

The Arishok stared at her for a moment making her stomach tense in anticipation.

"I have a growing lack of disgust for you, human. This dwarf imagined the deal for the Gaatlock, no bargain was struck. Instead, he invented a task to prove his worth when he has none," the Arishok replied, looking at Javaris as if he was nothing more than dirt on the ground.

"Then it seems we have wrongly intervened ourselves into your affairs, would you have us kill the dwarf?" Fenris interrupted before she could even speak. She turned for a moment to glare at him, only to bet met back with a glare just as icy. In the corner of her eye she noticed her brother gulp loudly; he knew her too well to know when she was in a bad mood and slowly becoming a ticking time bomb. Aveline however looked at her for a moment with concern and then turned her attention to Fenris, casting him narrowed eyes like a mother would do to the child that was bullying her own.

Hawke turned giving the Arishok her full attention, despite the pleas of desperation that Javaris had begun spilling out of his mouth. The Arishok looked at the dwarf for a moment again, with a face full of hatred as well as disgust.

"If you faced Tal Vashoth, he is not worthy of dying to you, just as he was not worthy to die to them," the Arishok replied in a stoic manner, "let him live… and leave,"

Hawke looked at the infuriated dwarf who stared at both Hawke and the Arishok in disbelief, he looked angry enough to pop every vein on his head but Javaris was not stupid nor was he brave and realised that he would be killed without a second's thought if he vented said frustrations.

"I think you better go, Javaris," Hawke said, nodding her head at the gates to the dwarf who didn't need any more encouragement to vacate the area. He scuttled out of the compound, muttering curses as he went.

The Arishok stared at Hawke for a moment, as if viewing her every weakness and strength, his black eyes glinting with curiosity and annoyance.

"You will leave too, human, there is nothing left for you here."

Hawke nodded her reply, bowing low to the Arishok before vacating the area with her companions. Once she was out of the compound a wave of relief hit her and she almost felt her previous mood simmer away. Almost.

The silence as they journeyed to the Hanged Man was almost unbearable, thankfully, Aveline chose to intervene.

"It was a shame the Arishok did not seem in the talking mood, the Viscount is offering him supplies to build a ship back to Par Vollen," she said to Hawke, as they marched the mountain of stairs that lead to Lowtown.

"The Qunari will not leave," Fenris once again interrupted, bringing back Hawke's bad mood once again, she had almost forgotten how annoyed and hurt she had felt.

"They are just waiting for a ship to return them to their native land, Fenris," Aveline replied, her voice neutral as always.

"If they wanted to leave they would have by now, the fact they have not means there is something in this city that is holding them back; Qunari do not willingly stay in places such as this," Fenris replied, looking around the decaying steps as if that was enough evidence to back up his claim.

"What's wrong, Fenny, is this place just too dirty compared to your high class mansion?" Hawke interrupted, ready for an argument.

"No, I said for Qunari, Hawke, but then again you never listen, you're too busy listening to yourself. Kirkwall is everything the Qunari hate," Fenris spat back at her, obviously wanting an argument too.

"Sister, Fenris, I think that's enough," Carver said, trying to intervene and prevent an argument from happening. Hawke turned his attention to her little brother and realised that he was the source of her bad mood.

If he had just stayed and remembered their father's birthday instead of trying to get into Merrill's knickers!

"Oh shut up, Carver, do not try to be the voice of reason here," she spat at him, her anger bubbling from her stomach and to her throat, hateful words vomiting out of her before she could restrain them.

"Aria, calm down. What's gotten into you?" Carver asked incredulously, confused as to why she was so annoyed.

"Oh, are we chatting about things going in? Did you finally get in Merrill? Was it worth forgetting your own father's birthday?" Aria spat, her temper now uncontrollable. She ignored Aveline's gasp of shock as she glared at her brother who looked back at her in shock and annoyance.

Fenris had become silent, and had respectfully stepped out of the argument, of course she would deal with him later…

"I should have known! Of course you followed me! When do you not follow me?" Carver shouted, raising his arms as if asking the sky the questions rather than Hawke.

"I came across you whilst on my way to the Keep, you big headed prick! But seriously you're asking these questions? I am fucking older than you and you follow me around like I'm a fragile little flower about to be trampled on by fucking bad men!" Hawke almost screamed back, her fists curling up ready to punch her brother.

"This is not the point! So what, I went out for a picnic with Merrill on Father's birthday? Shall I stay stuck in the past with you sister forever? Shall I not find someone else who can have my heart or is my sole intention in this life following after you until I die? Because if it is, then I want out right now! Even Mother didn't mope around all day and she was married to him for twenty five years! It's just you and your hatred and you just can't let go! It's time to let it go!" her brother lectured, his voice not quite shouting but not at a speaking tone either.

Hawke grinded her teeth in annoyance, looking at her brother with furious eyes, Fenris and Aveline seemed almost dumbfounded and stood between the two viewing them as they tried to work out what to do. The normal method of letting Hawke and her brother punch it out seemed like the option they were taking.

"My past will follow me to the grave! I will not forget what happened; I will not let it go as easily as you!"

"Well, have fun with that, because I for one am done with it! You will die old and alone with your bitterness! And so it should be! It's like Isabela says, you sit there on your pedestal waving at us mere mortals! Well, you know what sister, I can see past your fucking smile and your stupid act and I know for a fact you're just fucking scared that everyone's going to realise what a miserable cow you are! And that is why you will die alone! Sometimes I think Beth should be still here and you should be up there with Father!" Carver spat, his fist clenching and his temper flying, rivalling her own.

At his words, her eyes watered. Maybe he was right, maybe she should be dead and the past with her. Maybe it would have been better, if her little sister –the ray of sunshine smiling flowers in her hair beautiful apostate child that everyone adored so much- was alive and she was long gone. A single tear shed from her eyes, and before anyone could even notice she took her leave, quickly climbing the remaining stairs as she left.

As if her mood had an effect on the weather, a heavy downpour began to hit the cobbles of Lowtown. In the distance, she could hear her brother shouting her name, but she just didn't care. She climbed the rooftops of Lowtown and sat down, letting the rain pour on her as stared into sky.

She had not meant for the argument to escalate, nor had she even meant to say such things to Carver. And yet, she said them on a daily basis and he smiled and took it and the quarrelled and fought and then they forgot it ever happened, at least she did. And Carver followed her into whatever situation she got herself into, no questions asked. He was much more of a brother to her; he was the only one she trusted, the only one who she felt free with. And yet she had become so accustomed to him being there for her, she had not realised that he had sacrificed much of his own life for hers.

She sighed, rubbing her temples and ignoring the tears that were running down her face, pretending that they were just droplets of rain. She needed alcohol to numb her feelings and hurt away and she knew exactly where to go for that, she thought to herself as she got up running across the rooftops and stopping when she got near the back of the Hanged Man.

She knocked on Varric's window three times, and waited for his code reply. Two knocks meant someone's here looking for you or come back later; three knocks meant how can I be of assistance?

A moment later three quiet taps replied, and she opened the window and entered Varric's private suite, her drenched armour soaking the wooden floors.

Varric looked up from where he was sat writing his novel, as he usually did on a Wednesday afternoon, his spectacles hanging onto dear life to his nose –of course, Varric didn't really need visual aids to help him see, he just thought they made him look the part- and threw her a wicked grin.

"So, what's it going to be tonight, Hawke? Or should I say why have you come to steal my alcohol this time?" he asked, his smile never leaving his face as he looked her up and down. Of course, he couldn't tell she had been crying she was already covered in water.

"Strongest you got, and my dear brother has just been pondering whether the Maker does swapsies, see, he wants to trade me in for our dear younger sister since I'm getting annoying," Hawke cajoled, trying to make herself seem light so Varric wouldn't question what she was going to do after she drank. Varric didn't like leaving Hawke to drink on her own, but after she explained it was her way of dealing with things he had become a little bit more accepting. Except he asked her to not drink alone when she was depressed. And right now, she felt like if she could actually swap places with Bethany, she happily would.

"Shit, junior said that?" Varric said, shock colouring his usual playful disposition.

"Yeah, so if you don't mind, I would very much like to grab the drink and go, since this is the first place he'll come as soon as he's finished searching under the floorboards at Gamlen's," she replied, looking at the door hastily.

"No problem, Hawke, brandy is under my pillow take the lot and you can owe me one," he said, pointing to the grand four poster bed, a tender smile of knowing on his face, which was very rare for Varric.

"Aria?" a muffled shout from the drinking hall of the Hanged man simmered its way into the room. Varric and Hawke paused for a moment, staring at each other before Hawke decided a mad dash for it was the only way of escaping. She dove at the bed, grabbing the bottle of alcohol from under the pillow and jumped for the window without even so much as a goodbye to Varric, who had turned around to greet whoever was walking towards the door.

She free-fell in the air and greeted the ground with a loud smack of the force of her boots hitting the cobbled floors. She did not hesitate and pretended not to feel the pain around her toes as she jolted back up the rooftops and ran to her favourite sheltered spot so that she could watch the stars later on in the evening without the rain. She ran quickly to the small shelter, the place where she usually drunk without anyone ever finding her.

As she sat down she uncorked the bottle of brandy, taking a long pull on the drink as she looked at the grey clouds that towered over the city, unleashing their rain upon the citizens. If she made it home then she would make a mental note to speak to Fenris and apologise for the awkwardness between them… maybe even tell him that he wasn't obligated to stay because she batted her eyelids. Maybe, she could speak to Carver when she had calmed down, that was if she ever made it out of her little hidey-hole alive.

She should have just asked Fenris for his advice, instead of being so overly independent it could maybe one day cost her something more than a simple victory in an argument. She should learn to value her comrades, rather than thinking she was better than the rest… Carver was right…

After the fourth pull of the Brandy she felt quite numb and almost euphoric as she lay watching the rain pour over the City of Chains.

After the fifth, she started thinking about Fenris, and how she shouldn't have taken her anger out on him… and then she started agreeing with Isabela… he did have pretty eyes.

She laughed at the thought, drinking her brandy and ignoring the people who were calling for her. Just for a little while, she would pretend she wasn't Hawke today.

A/N – So I just thought I'd inform you all that I am taking a short break during the festive season. I will be back, hopefully by the 5th of January! I hope you all have an amazing christmas, and I will see you next year!

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