Friday couldn't come soon enough. The week seemed to drag, but when the day finally came, Emma's heart raced all through the school day with excitement. She wasted no time jumping off the afternoon bus and rushing to her the therapist's office, even running up the stairs to the waiting room. She waited anxiously again, this time filled with anticipation.
"Hey!" she called, waving at the doctor when she appeared in the doorway.
"Ready?" the doctor asked, holding her car keys with a smile.
Emma nodded and eagerly followed the woman back down the stairs. They climbed into the car and Regina looked over at Emma, who was sitting in the passenger seat, grinning from ear to ear.
"I've never seen you look so happy," the therapist commented. "Did something happen? No, wait. Let me guess. Did you get a new puppy? A kitten? A car? Did you win the lottery?"
Emma shook her head and laughed.
"I'm going bowling tonight with my favorite therapist."
Regina smiled softly, appreciative of the fact that Emma was so exited to spend time with her.
"Emma," she giggled. "I'm your only therapist."
"But I'd never want any other."
"Play some music for me," Regina suggested with a smile. "Let's hear whatever you like. I always like to know what kind of music my patients are into. A person's music choice says a lot about them. It doesn't matter what it is. You can play anything."
Emma picked a few songs, and Regina was surprised to find that they were incredibly diverse, ranging from Demi Lovato to Atreyu and Disturbed. All the way there, they conversed about anything and everything - except, of course, Emma's real problem. They still hadn't breached that barrier yet. When they arrived at the bowling ally, Emma hopped out of the car and clapped her hands excitedly.
"I can't believe I'm finally going bowling!"
"It's not that big of a deal," Regina laughed. "It's just throwing balls at a bunch of bowling pins."
Emma giggled.
"You said balls."
Regina shook her head and rolled her eyes.
"C'mon. Let's go inside."
Regina paid the entrance fee for the two of them, and they quickly changed into bowling shoes.
"It's kind of gross how many other people have worn these," Regina commented.
Emma just shrugged.
"We're only going to be wearing them for a few hours."
They'd decided to do a double session - two full hours - so they'd have enough time to play more than one day.
"Alright," Regina said, walking over to the rack of bowling balls and picking one up. "I do this a lot, so don't be intimidated if I'm... you know... relatively good at this."
Emma grinned, hoping the brunette would mess up and eat her words - which she did. Gutter ball on the first try. Regina's face turned red and she covered her face with her hands.
"That was pathetic," she groaned. "It's only cause I'm pressured since you're watching me! Whatever. Your turn!"
"Aww!" Emma giggled. "I make you nervous!"
Grabbing a bowling ball of her own, she carefully swung her arm and let it go on the up swing as she watched it travel down the wooden ally. She only knocked out a few pins, but it was better than Regina's throw, and that was enough to make her smile.
"How was that?" she asked.
Regina smiled back at her and said, "Pretty good, kiddo! Nice work!"
Emma's smiled dropped instantly.
"Don't. Call. Me. That."
Regina looked a little taken back, but she nodded in understanding.
"I'm sorry."
Emma shrugged and watched as Regina threw another bowling ball down the lane. This time, each and every pin was knocked over.
"Holy shit," Emma said, gaping at her.
"I told you. I've had practice. You'll get better, too."
Emma frowned but tried again, this time knocking down a few more pins than the last time.
"See?" Regina asked, sitting in the seat and marking down Emma's score. "Better already. Just keep trying."
With a nod, Emma grabbed another ball from the rack and held it out to Regina, who smiled at her. As she took the ball out of her hands, their fingers touched, and Emma felt an involuntary shiver shoot down her spine. With just one touch, Emma completely melted. When Regina walked away, Emma blinked a few times, suddenly staring. Her eyes stopped on Regina's ass and her mouth fell slightly open as she stumbled slowly back into her seat. Again, Regina knocked over ever pin. When the woman turned around, Emma immediately shut her mouth, which she had only just noticed was hanging open. Instantly, her gaze shot back at the paper beneath her hands as she marked down Regina's score.
"You're up," Regina said, smiling.
Emma felt her insides shudder.
"What's the matter?" the doctor asked, tilting her head slightly to the side.
"N-nothing," Emma stuttered, standing up and quickly grabbing another ball, carelessly tossing it down the lane.
All the pins fell over and were pulled back by the machine. Emma's jaw dropped again.
"Whoa," she mumbled.
"Wow!" Regina said, clapping. "That was awesome!"
Emma blushed at the compliment and sat back down as soon as Regina stood up to take her turn, again staring as Regina bent over ever so slightly and tossed the ball. They played two more games - Regina only won the first two - and then it was time to go. Reluctantly, Emma unlaced the shoes and gave them back to the employee, collecting her own and putting them back on.
One they were in the car and Regina had turned the key in the ignition, Emma muttered, "I don't want to go back home."
"I know," Regina said softly, touching her shoulder.
Another shiver went down Emma's spine as she averted her eyes away.
"I'll see you Monday, though. It's not so far away."
"I know, but I hate the weekends, because I have to be with them. But I hate school too. I hate everything."
Regina sighed.
"Emma." She reached over and gently lifted the girl's chin, saying, "It's not all bad."
"Yes, it is."
Even Regina doubted the truth in her own words. For Emma, almost everything did seem to be looking down.
"I know. But you can be strong. I know you can."
"I can't," Emma said, starting to cry.
"Have you been cutting, Emma?" Regina asked quietly, putting her hand back on the girl's shoulder, making the girl's heart race.
Emma shook her head and said, "Not since I've started seeing you."
This brought a smile to her doctor's lips as she shut her eyes briefly in relief.
"I care about you, Emma. I don't want to see you hurt yourself."
"I know."
"You don't have to do it. There are other ways to handle your pain."
"Like what?"
"Like talking about it."
"I have no friends," Emma blurted out. "I have no one but you."
"You'll make friends as you get older. Once you're out of high school, everything will change. Do you want to go to college?"
"I don't know," Emma answered, sniffling. "I can't pay for it."
"There are scholarships," Regina told her. "What do you want to do for a job?"
"I... I kind of want to do what you do, Regina..."
It felt weird to Emma to be saying her first name, but Regina had asked her to, so she knew it was okay. Still, the intimacy of it was strange.
"Do you want to be a therapist, or do you want to do what I did with social work?"
"I guess I'm not sure. I want to help kids like me - kids in foster homes."
"Well, doing what I do now pays a little more - which isn't why I do it - but social work is a very fulfilling job. On the other hand, I'd say that working with children in the foster care system is very difficult, given that a lot of the situations end up being very sad and hard to deal with emotionally. That's why I stopped. It broke my heart. Granted, this job has a lot of that, too - for example, people like you who are in the foster care system and are having a hard time with it - but it's not quite as severe."
My case is, Emma was thinking. If only you knew what they do to me. But she said nothing.
"I don't think I'd be good at it," Emma said. "I'd let the kids down."
"No, you wouldn't, Emma. You'd be caring and devoted to your job. I can tell. That's just part of who you are."
"I guess so."
"Trust me, Emma," Regina said, subconsciously placing her own hand on top of the girl's. "I know you can do it. You should keep going with school."
"Okay," she mumbled, looking down at their hands, her heart stopping.
When Regina noticed where she'd placed her hand - she hadn't done it on purpose - she quickly pulled it away, blushing, and put her hand back on the steering wheel.
"I'll drive you home," she said quickly, pulling out of the parking lot and heading towards Emma's house.
Emma sat in silence, feeling the phantom pressure of Regina's hand touching hers.