Chapter 26 – Disaster's eve and chaos' labour
Sorry guys, I posted another chapter by accident yesterday! Here's the actual chapter…
Thought this was a good title since the deep roads is quite a sad part of Hawke's tale! This is the night before the deep roads, and then of course we'll be going towards the doom and gloom part of the story!
Thanks for your follows/reviews/favourites! It means so much and I love hearing from you all!
Thanks to my beta, for being so great! Enchantm3nt, you're fab!
Love to you all!
X
Fenris woke up to the light breaking through the curtains onto his hungover face. He rolled over, cursing the light of the sun, before shooting up abruptly remembering the events of the night before.
Hawke.
She had been here intoxicated and he too had become intoxicated, not to same level as Hawke but he had drunk quite a fair bit, to say the least. He had told her of Hadriana and one of her many acts of cruelty, something he had thought he would never speak about, not even on his death bed. And she had spoken to him, this woman that he witnessed day in and day out with her cool expression and sharp words had opened up into this flower, this intoxicating flower that had blossomed and made his already drunken thoughts more ridiculous than they already were.
He looked over at where she had been sleeping last night, and knew before he looked she would be gone. And to be perfectly honest with himself, he was glad she had gone. They flirted with each other and played their games when the alcohol flowed, but sober they were both wrapped up in their own little bubble full of hatred and a complete lack of closure.
He opened the windows wide and realised, as he looked at the high sun, that it was already late afternoon, he had spent the entire day slumbering and she had not called for him, maybe that was that? Maybe she wouldn't want to speak to him and last night was only because the abomination's clinic door was shut? Maybe it was just because she was at her mother's childhood home and that he was nearest.
He cursed the sun as he splashed the basin's water in his face in an attempt to rid himself of all these thoughts and wipe away the memories of last night.
He knew nothing of women, he knew nothing of how the opposite sex worked or thought, in fact he didn't know how people worked; everything about freedom was fresh and new and emotions stirred in him that he had never experienced. Sometimes, he would find himself staring at Hawke when she wasn't aware or in a battle he would shield her from harm and only realise when his sword had dropped. It wasn't as if Hawke didn't have this effect on other men, all of the males of the group watched over her more than her own brother did these days.
And yet, a small part of him hoped that she got the same emotions; he trusted her more than anyone he had ever met in his existence and sometimes she looked at him in the same way that he looked at her.
Faasta Vas!
He cursed himself as he brushed quickly through his snow white hair, grabbing his sword and deciding on a trip outside rather than being stuck the entire day in his thoughts. He would not let that confusing woman trap him like she did with so many males; he swore she did it on purpose. He closed the front door to the mansion with a thud and walked quickly into the market, hoping that the annoying tradesmen with their selling cries would distract him from his own mind.
He knew where he was going before he even realised it, his feet had dragged him past the pleasant markets of Hightown and down the stairs towards Lowtown, and he cursed himself profusely for always searching for her. No matter where he was and what he was doing, he would watch the land and the skies for his Hawke. And it riled him, oh how it riled him. He had many emotions towards apostates throughout the years and to find himself entwined with another one but because of a completely different situation, riled him even more. He would always be hounded by magic it seemed.
When he walked through the door to the hanged man, he had expected it to be quiet, with a few of the patrons starting early. He did not expect to walk into a full tavern with people cheering and dancing to the music of a lute, fresh ale already drowning the floor and it wasn't even dusk.
He searched the tables until he found the dwarf, sat at his usual one in the corner viewing the scene with an expression of pure amusement. Varric nodded at Fenris as he strolled over, it had become routine. He would sit by the dwarf with whatever alcohol beverage he had acquired and after some banter from the other companions that he and Hawke had picked up along the ways, they would retire to the suite and play Wicked Grace.
"Elf, you're here a little earlier than usual," Varric said, gesturing a place for him to sit and clicking his fingers at one of the barmaids who came over and handed Varric a pitcher of ale with an annoyed expression painted on her exhausted face.
"How observant of you, dwarf," Fenris replied, dancing the same old dance that he had been participating with Varric for weeks now.
"So, is there any reason for that?" Varric asked, a knowing grin smeared on his face smugly.
Fenris' eyebrows furrowed in frustration at the dwarf and his questions, he knew he had come to speak to Hawke –hoping he could speak to her about these emotions that held him- but whether he should tell the dwarf was another topic entirely. He knew for a fact that the dwarf would create some sordid romance novel or he would just laugh in his face at the idea of his attraction to Hawke. Was it attraction? Or was it merely that no other woman that he could remember had ever been so kind to him? His grip on his mug of ale tightened as his thoughts became more frustrating and the dwarf's uncomfortable cough thankfully snapped him out of his inner monologue before he could shatter the glass.
"I wish to speak with Hawke about a matter," he replied, feigning calmness when really his insides burned with frustration.
"She's not here yet, she was, ahem, apprehended by Knight Captain Shiny Armour. I just got here early for the literacy gold and the comedy; they don't even have to do anything it just makes me almost cry at the sight of them! The apostate and the knight captain of the Templars! Ha!" Varric creased, holding onto the table as if the situation was so comedic that he would actually collapse from it.
Of course, Hawke had been apprehended. She was always being apprehended by men who wished to speak to her on some manner, whether it be for business or pleasure. Hawke deserved a knight in shining armour and Fenris' stomach gave a groan in agreement. But every time she ignored their advances, or smiled coldly at their compliments, something in him sparked and as much as it confused him he enjoyed watching them walk away with rejection smeared on their faces like fresh manure. It almost made him laugh.
Fenris sat nursing his ale and watched as each of the merry group of misfits that came here solely for Hawke sit down at the table, they viewed each other with nods and most of them were silent. Carver and Merrill sat together and whispered and giggled like children, and Isabela and Varric bantered with each other about the length of their daggers. He had never noticed how silent it seemed, without her there. No one seemed as animated, and all seemed to be looking at the door. After what seemed years, the door swung open and they were greeted with Hawke's musical laugh as she entered the tavern, still wearing the same armour she had last night but looking fresher than he had expected.
But alongside Hawke's laugh was a chuckle that he did not recognise, and he almost spat out his ale at the sight of Hawke laughing along with the Knight Captain of the Templar order. The dwarf said she had been apprehended, which normally meant someone wanted her for something, and normally when it was requests of a drink she would normally reject.
Not this time it seemed.
She nodded to the knight captain who took up a spot at the bar with great ease. The man obviously commanded a great deal of respect in the city for the drunkards and the patrons to give up their spots so easily.
Hawke glided towards them with a radiant smile that even shocked her younger brother. He looked at her in a gormless expression and couldn't even make out a hello to her. The abomination however seemed more agitated than usual; he looked at Hawke with chagrin and kept checking over the back of him as if the knight captain would be taking him to the Gallows at any moment.
Any joyous moment…
It was Isabela who piped up first, a wide smile on her face as she took in Hawke's flushed appearance.
"Well, well, we are naughty aren't we? Didn't know you had it in you, kitten!" she jeered, looking over at the knight captain at the bar before adding, "He can lock me up and put me at the top of his tower any day,"
"What the slattern means, Hawke, is we're glad to see you actually testing the waters," Aveline interjected, looking disgusted at Isabela's innuendo.
"Maker, Isabela! Cullen and I are just acquaintances enjoying a drink. I've been helping him out recently and he just wanted to say thank you!" Hawke replied, a small grin of amusement on her face at the pirate's comment.
"Sure thing, sweetness, let me know how he is. Hoist his anchor and let that ship of muscle and rugged good looks go, you can just taste his sexual frustration!" Isabela chimed, watching the knight captain with a dreamy look on her face.
Fenris wanted to vomit all over Cullen and his idiotically huge armour.
"Yes and then when he realises what you are you can play happy families in the Gallows, Hawke!" Anders snapped, looking over at the knight captain in disgust.
"Oh get over it Anders, it's just a soddin' drink with a man, she's not actually going to court him, right sister?" Carver chimed in, adding to the debate.
"I think he's quite pretty, Hawke," Merrill added.
"He's a fine man, Hawke," Aveline agreed with Merrill.
Hawke wrinkled her nose in frustration and awkwardness, and he knew what was going to happen next before it happened.
"I am just having a drink with someone else for a change! This does not mean I am going to have sex with him, court him, marry him or anything else. We are friends, that is it! And if it turns into something else then so let it be, you are not my parents, none of you has one say in this not even my little brother! SO BUTT OUT," she snapped, looking around the group that had gone silent.
Fenris remained silent, wondering what she really thought of the knight captain. He looked over at the man who was clearly looking at the back of Hawke with intrigue. He nor many other men would stand a chance against him, he was the perfect knight the only thing better would be if he were a prince.
"And that's not the point, he'll be gone soon and then we can start celebrating the good news! We leave for the Deep Roads tomorrow evening!" she said, her tone excited and her expression flushed.
The group around the table cheered and applauded, much to the abomination's annoyance, who muttered to himself that they were just asking for him to be shipped off to the Gallows with the racket, but Fenris wondered what would become of the group once Hawke and her brother ascended into nobility.
He had already predicted that Varric and Aveline would still speak to Hawke as they had good titles and lines of business with them. The blood mage would most likely become the mistress of Carver Hawke or his mother would disown him and he would live with the blood mage in her shack in the Alienage. The abomination would plot mage rebellions in his clinic in the slums, and Isabela would continue looking for her relic.
But when it came to Hawke, Fenris could not find one single prediction in which he would even speak to her again and yet he hoped.
He hoped she did not become a noble man's bracelet and that she carried on as she would and yet he saw the glint in her eye when she spoke of her mother. She would do anything to make her mother happy and it was custom for a noblewoman's daughter to marry to advance the family name.
He pulled the remainder of his drink down quickly at the thought, watching her rush off back to her knight captain friend who her mother would so approve of. He didn't even care about his hangover that much, the alcohol seemed to soothe the pain but made him ponder things much more than he should.
He owed her a debt, and that was meant to be the end of it. And now he found himself entwined with her, fascinated by her and a little bit jealous of Knight captain Cullen who she was currently laughing at loudly.
He watched the others as they joined in the merriments of the tavern, the ale ran free and so it seemed did the other companions inhibitions. He watched the blood mage and Carver dance along to the merry tune of the bard, even Aveline accepted Anders' offer of a dance. Isabela sat herself seductively on a table whilst her admirers gazed at her and threw compliments her way.
Fenris was beyond drunk at this point but he hid it well, he sat sombrely with Varric like he did most evenings and stared at Hawke laughing away with her Templar of all things. He should have known of all the men she would have an interest in, it would be the one that was the most dangerous to her. Would this so called Knight Captain adore her when he found out what she was?
"Elf, if you glare any harder at them two I think Cullen's going to think you're a rogue mage seeking revenge or some stupid shit like that," Varric commented idly, whilst going over his list of supplies that were needed for the journey the next day.
"I am not glaring at them, dwarf, I am glaring at everything in general," Fenris retorted, pushing away the tenth drink Varric had offered him with a look of disgust.
"Sorry, Broody, I didn't realise that you had a wide radius when you glared, from here it looks like you're just glaring at the knight captain," Varric said, still not looking up from his list.
"I am watching the Templar, not glaring at him. Surely the fool must know by now," Fenris scoffed at the Knight captain's renown.
"He ain't a fool, Broody, she's just damned good at hiding it," Varric said, flashing his eyes at Hawke and back to the parchment.
"Well, she's a fool to tempt fate in such a cruel way, she's condemning herself with her own overconfidence with a well-trained Templar," Fenris scoffed again, this time grabbing the mug of ale and pulling on it quickly.
"Didn't think you cared so much, Broody! Hawke's a big girl and she can do what she likes in my book, doesn't bother me as long as she doesn't get locked in the Gallows for the rest of time," Varric said, folding the parchment up and viewing Fenris with curious eyes.
"I am merely stating the obvious, dwarf, I cannot repay a debt if she is locked in the tower," Fenris said, glaring at the knight captain one final time before turning back to look at Varric.
Varric scrutinized every part of his face; he could feel the rogue's keen eyes trying to make sense of his mood. Before he could say anything, the abomination sat down and grabbed a mug of ale, downing it in one as if he was dying of thirst.
"I thought the Templar was going to be leaving soon," the abomination cursed, looking over at where Cullen and Hawke stood.
"Not you too, Blondie, Maker, you should all start a club! Look, he's saying farewell to his apostate lover now, you can finally whip that wand of yours out and do whatever it is you kids in long dresses like to do," Varric said, bemused by the whole situation as always but busying himself scribbling something down on another blank piece of vellum quickly. Fenris suspected it was fodder for his stories on Hawke, but was too drunk to be bothered to question the dwarf.
"Yeah well, it wouldn't work out even if they tried," Anders said, a smug grimace plastered to his face as Hawke walked towards them.
Hawke came and joined the table with flushed cheeks and a wide smile. Before he could help himself he glared at Hawke whilst she drank a mug of ale. Was this all just some sort of hobby to her? Speak to all the men she possibly could and make them have all these feelings to then blow them away as if they were nothing but the delicate petals of a white dandelion. It was as if she enjoyed watching them blow away in the breeze of her touch.
She noticed him glaring however, and arched her eyebrow at him, questioning his reason before she even spoke.
"Is something troubling you, Fenris?" she asked.
"Not really, Hawke, I was just wondering what a mage sees in a Templar so much to go out for a drink with him, they are obviously not the big bad wolves that the abomination claims them to be," Fenris said, not even recognising the abomination's presence as he spluttered.
"I'll have you know that Templars treat us like fucking slaves in the Circle!" the abomination snapped, but was silenced by Hawke's raised hand.
"Not all of them are monsters; they are very much human like you and me. He was just thanking me for aiding him in the issue we dealt with. Nothing more, nothing less. Trust me when I say this, I will never let a Templar touch me ever," she said, her voice became slightly raised as she looked down at him with burning eyes.
He wanted to speak to her in private; he wanted to establish whatever it was. But he was a coward and would forever be a coward it seemed. He just wanted to know what it was that they shared, were they just friends as she put it? Was it just that he had gotten the wrong end of the stick like the abomination had?
He looked up at her and wished she could read his mind for a moment, read the confusion that echoed endlessly. He needed to say something to her…
Say something, Faasta vas!
"As you say, Hawke," he said, nodding his head and resuming his feigned stoic manner.
She opened her mouth as if to say something but in a split second closed it shut; she looked taken aback by his words.
"I-uh thank you, Fenris for being so understanding," she said, as she grabbed the pitcher to pour herself another ale.
"So Hawke, we did it! I knew we'd do it, your daggers and my brains we're going to take over the world!" Varric rejoiced lifting the ale and clinking it with Hawke's.
"So, what are you trying to say, my devilish dwarf? That I'm stupid?" she said, a coy grin plastered on her face.
The abomination stared at Hawke with a curiosity Fenris did not like. He marvelled at her every move it seemed, and watched her closely. Something bit him in his chest, and he felt the small pang of jealousy return like it had when he saw her with the Knight Captain, but his hatred for the abomination seemed to amplify it, causing his usual stoic face to turn into a narrow glare again.
"My lady Hawke, would you do me the honour of a dance," the abomination said, feigning a sincere voice that contradicted his coy grin.
"No, thank you, Anders, I think I've drank too much to dance, but maybe another time?" she said, granting the abomination a small smile and of course the abomination returned it without a seconds notice.
"So, have you thought about who you're going to take with you on your business venture?" the abomination asked her politely, but Fenris knew he wanted to come with Hawke into the Deep Roads, a place where he supposedly hated.
"Yes, actually, I've thought about it for weeks. Aveline is too busy with her duties, Isabela would rather die than go to a place where there's no sex or ale and Merrill doesn't like the dark," she said, taking a sip of her drink.
"And what of you, Hawke? Are you afraid of the dark?" the abomination asked her in a teasing voice.
"I was once, but then we became friends," she said, her lip upturned in a small grin as if she was speaking about an inside joke that no one really knew about. The abomination looked at Hawke with a furrowed brow, as if he too was trying to work out Hawke's riddle. Fenris could practically hear the cogs whirling in his tiny mind.
"So, I was going to ask my brother, Fenris, you and Varric to come with me, that is if you and Fenris and you don't turn on each other mid-battle and get killed by a stampede of brontos," she said coolly, looking back at the abomination and himself.
"You have your brother, what do you need him for?" the abomination asked, nodding his head in Fenris' direction. He growled at the abomination who looked other at him in disgust.
"Fenris is a highly skilled warrior, plus big old place of dark and he glows," Hawke said, throwing Fenris a dazzling smile and a coy wink that made his mood fade.
Damn that woman, to the fires of the sun and back!
"Plus it's the perfect place to just- I dunno forget to whistle so he doesn't come back right?" the abomination said, flashing a grin as if he was joking too. Fenris knew he wasn't jesting and if he could the abomination would without a seconds thought launch him into a pit of rocks and whatever beast lay in it.
"Hold your tongue, abomination or I will rip it out," Fenris snarled, annoyed at the mockery that the abomination tried to subject him to.
"Gentlemen, do I need to get the guard captain to lock you in the cells for a night?" Varric said in a sweet voice that Fenris knew was really his threatening tone.
"Maker Az, leave you alone to watch these two behave for two seconds and they're already ready to fight," Carver said as he and Merrill joined the table.
"I think it's adorable how they fight over her, leave them alone, Carver," Merril said, poking Carver in the rib as she sat down next to him.
"Witch, do not walk in and think you know us, I would not fight for no woman," Fenris snapped, making the blood mage jump in fright. Carver grabbed hold of Merrill's arm to keep her still and glared at Fenris furiously whilst doing so.
"Now now, is that the way you talk to all the girls, Fenris? If it is then I'm game, I love a bit'a cruel to be kind!" Isabela purred as she too joined the table once again, bending over and flashing him a wide grin whilst she showed him as much breast as she possibly could.
"Is everything just sex to you, Slattern?" Aveline barked as she sat back down nursing her ale, casting short longing glances over at the guards who were drinking where Hawke and the Templar had been, laughing loudly.
"Anders, Fenris, if you cannot at least ignore each other rather than spit and scratch at each other then I don't want either of you going with me, and then when I end up dead because we have no healer or extra sword you can fight over which one of you could have saved us from the horde of darkspawn that ate our brains out, for now let's just drink and have a laugh while we all can together, yeah?" Hawke lectured, her eyes flashing to both of them as she spoke as if watching for a change in expression.
"Anything for you, sweetheart," the abomination chimed, a smile on his face as he winked at her.
Fenris nodded his reply whilst he grinded his teeth together, he did not want to even open his mouth lest his true feelings betray him.
"So serious sister dear, fancy a dance?" Carver quipped holding out his hand to the elder Hawke.
For a moment Fenris thought she would deny him like she had done the abomination, but she grabbed her brother's hand willingly and ran towards the dancing, laughing. It still irked Fenris that he didn't understand Hawke's quirks, but at the same time he enjoyed the mystery that drifted around her; it was intoxicating.
He watched Carver and his sister dance for a moment, grateful that they had sorted out their differences. He did not think that he could hold onto what little sanity he had left if he had to be stuck underground with creatures of the blight and the Hawke siblings quarrelling all the way through the tunnels of the Deep Roads.
"You know I was quite serious in what I said, I do love it when men talk dirty and I bet with your voice it'll feel so much dirtier," Isabela drawled as she took the seat that was free next to him.
"I do not doubt it," Fenris replied, looking at the Rivaini pirate as she smiled at him.
"I wonder how far your tattoos go down," Isabela said, gazing at his lyrium markings dreamily.
"I wonder if you'd have sex with a dog if we made you celibate for a week," Aveline barked across the table, glaring at Isabela in a disgust which meant she had been listening in to their conversation.
"Well, all he needs is a collar," the abomination said lowly so only Fenris could hear. Fenris growled at the abomination but would not fall for his tricks. He knew exactly how the abomination wanted him to react.
"Naughty boy, I heard that," Isabela said, looking at the abomination who feigned a look of innocence whilst Isabela tutted at him mockingly then laughed deeply when she noticed the abomination watching Hawke dance, "I know what you're thinking and I bet you anything she's wearing something under those leather pants to make her bum bounce like it does."
The abomination turned around and instead of blushing like Fenris thought he might, he winked at her and answered with a laugh. Fenris flashed his eyes over to Hawke who was bouncing around and dancing with her brother, and before he could help himself his eyes looked down at Hawke's ample bottom. It wasn't as curvy or as large as Isabela's of course, but he still found it to be attractive.
He averted his eyes straight away, his ears going pink with embarrassment and for a few seconds he thought no one had noticed the burning that spread from his ears to his cheeks.
"I saw that, Broody," Varric said, finally putting away his papers and joining the table fully.
"Dwarf, I see you do it every day," Fenris quipped back.
"Hey, I can't help it if it's right in my face," Varric said, shrugging casually as called the barmaid over for more drinks, "That reminds me Fenris, what did you and Hawke get up to last night?" Varric asked, looking at Fenris with a wicked grin. The table went silent at Varric's words; even Isabela had nothing to add in to the conversation. The abomination seemed to have forgotten how to breathe as he looked at Fenris in surprise and resentment.
"And have you not asked Hawke this?" Fenris asked coolly, whilst grabbing one of the fresh drinks the barmaid had brought.
"Yes and she said she got absolutely off her tits in Hightown and you were closest and she passed out on your floor," Varric said a bemused expression on his face.
"And that is, indeed what happened," Fenris replied, taking a sip out of his drink whilst still staring at the dwarf.
"Maker, what I would have given to be one of the flies on the wall at your mansion last night and there's me thinking Hawke was a- well like man hands over here!" Isabela exclaimed as she nodded over at Aveline who opened her mouth to object but Isabela had already started speaking again, "Is she wild under the covers like she is in battle? Did you two have an angry argument about mages and just exploded and started doing it on the dirty floorboards? Does she wear special small clothes to keep her tits and ass so bouncy?" Isabela said, her voice tinged with excitement.
"I can assure you that we did nothing but drink and talk and then she eventually passed out in which I put a blanket on her and then I too fell asleep for the night," Fenris replied, his cheeks blushing at the mere thought of having sex, never mind with Hawke.
"Yes, let's not even go into the reasons why she wouldn't have sex with you," the abomination said, almost smiling at Fenris' words.
"Why would who have sex with who?" Hawke said as she walked closer to the table, smiling widely from the dancing.
"Why wouldn't Fenris have sex with me!" Isabela chimed in, saving the group from the embarrassment of telling their fearless leader their conversation.
"Hmm, that's tough; shall we just switch it to why he would have sex with you?" Hawke said, throwing Isabela a wink who returned it by blowing a kiss.
"Honestly kitten, the things we could do together you and I," Isabela purred, but that didn't faze Hawke at all, instead she blew a kiss back, much to Fenris' surprise. It seemed she had once again had a lot to drink.
"So, my victorious friend, you've made it into the Deep Roads expedition, what's your plan when you come back filthy rich?" Varric said, gesturing the seat next to him which Hawke took immediately. It seemed that Varric was on the same level as Carver when it came to Hawke's trust.
"Well, I don't want to become some snooty rich girl in big dresses if that's what you're asking, but I think I'll sit back and enjoy the view that Hightown has to offer," Hawke replied, making a lump rise to Fenris' throat as she stared right at him.
Varric didn't seem to notice the exchange between the two and replied "so you'll be staring at the same shit you always do, it's the same kind of people but they prefer the expensive shit over poverty."
Hawke laughed at the dwarf's comment, and sipped her ale.
Fenris watched Hawke as she drank her ale and made banter with the other party members, was this just what she did? He never got to speak to her about what had happened last night; he was walking blind in territory he barely understood.
"If you don't mind giving me a moment, I think I need a bit of air," Hawke said, rising from the table after her twelfth ale.
"Allow me to assist you, madam," the abomination started to say but was silenced by Carver almost immediately.
"Want me to take you home, sister?" he asked, glaring at the abomination fiercely, it gave Fenris great satisfaction that like him, Carver Hawke did not want the abomination anywhere near his sister.
"No, no I'm fine, I just really would like to take a breath to myself, thank you Carver, why don't you uhm, carry Merrill home?" Hawke said, hiccupping slightly as she looked at the blood mage who was sat with her face down on the table, obviously not able to hold her ale.
"Do you require some assistance, Carver?" Aveline spoke for the first time in a while; it seemed she too was brooding over something, or someone.
"I-yes please. I really don't want any more dog lords to come at me whilst trying to carry a passed out elf, actually I don't think it's them I have to worry about, I don't want the guard to throw me in a cell for how wrong this looks," Carver said as he lifted the blood mage over his shoulder with ease. It seemed Carver was not at all against touching people, in fact he seemed to revel in it.
The small group walked out and Fenris saw his chance and grabbed it, he gave it a minute to make sure that the guard captain and Carver had left and decided he would speak to Hawke and then take his leave for the night.
"See ya, broody," Varric said before he could even stutter out a farewell.
"Yes, I shall see you tomorrow dwarf, Isabela," he said, nodding his head and not even bothering to regard the abomination.
As he walked away from the table, he heard the abomination mutter "It's going to take all of my willpower not to throw that bastard into a really deep pit."
Hawke was sat on a bench, her face masked by her hair that had come loose; it shrouded her like a waterfall of white. She rested her elbows on her knees and her body slightly shook in the cold air.
"Are you alright, Hawke?" he asked, concern nagging away at him. He did not want her to be sick; he had carefully avoided the vomiting last night and didn't want to ruin his winning streak.
"Yes, Fenris I'm fine, I can hold my ale like a dwarf, you should know that by now," she cajoled, looking up at him with twinkling green eyes.
"I do know, Hawke, but it's still prudent of me to ask if you're going to vomit at my feet, I lack shoes and I don't doubt the feeling would be quite unpleasant if you did so," he replied, his lips slightly turning up in a small grin.
"I'll let you know if I'm going to hurl on your precious toesies then," she quipped.
"I thank you for your thoughtfulness."
They sat in silence for a moment, nothing but the slight breeze in the night air making a sound. He wanted to say something, anything. He wanted to ask why his stomach slightly bubbled when she looked at him, but he just couldn't get the words out.
"You're going to be okay working with Anders, right?" she asked, lifting herself off of her knees and sitting upright.
"I will work with the abomination if that's what you mean, I won't let my hatred for him get in the way of our lives, Hawke," he said, honestly.
"And because if you do kill him we're not splitting his share of the money around us, I'll donate it to the Circle or something," she said, a grin on her face. Fenris was acutely aware that there was only a yard between the two of them; he could feel the heat of her body rolling off of her.
"Varric will cry if he hears you say that, Hawke," he replied, a small smile hidden on his face.
She pouted at him and laughed, looking up at the stars with a small smile on her face.
"I'm glad you stayed, Fenris," she said, still not looking at him.
"I thought it best that I stay where I was last seen by my former master's precious hunters, it would be an advantage to fight them on my own battle ground," he replied, wishing he could admit that a small part of him stayed because she asked him to, that once again he found himself listening to the commands of a mage.
"And you have me," she said, turning to him for a moment to smile at him, then gazing back into the stars.
"Danarius is powerful, Hawke, you do not need to fight my battles," he replied, worried for the safety of his friends if they were left in the magister's hands.
"And you don't know the things I can do, Fenris, when I really put my mind to it," she replied, her eyes searching the stars intensely.
More riddles, Hawke?
"I think I could imagine the possibilities, Hawke, I daresay we stand a good chance,"
"Is that optimism from you, Fenris?"
"No, that would be the whiskey the dwarf made me try,"
He could smell her she was that close, the smell of fruit and the tang of metal clashing together delightfully. Her hair shook as she laughed, looking at him with her fringe partially in her eyes, he had a sudden desire to put it behind her ear but quenched the desire with a curled up first.
"I enjoy your company, Fenris, you're different from everyone else," she said, a blush hitting her cheeks as soon as she spoke.
"By everyone else you mean I'm not one of your foolhardy admirers that throws themselves at you for your every whim?" he asked, truly wondering.
"They do not throw themselves at me!" she mock scolded, smacking his unarmoured hand, their fingers brushing against each other lightly.
They both froze at the contact, staring at each other in absolute shock. Hawke's eyes went wide, searching his face for something and wrinkling her nose ever so slightly.
"I am so sorry, I really am, trust me I don't normally, I-shit, sorry!" she said, jumping back to the very end of the bench, looking at her hand as if it would set fire at any given moment.
He looked at her for a moment, bewildered. Her touch did not hurt, he expected to feel a stab of magic or even for the slap to hurt him, but it did not. It was soft, fleeting and it made his stomach buzz.
"It is no bother, Hawke, it did not hurt," he said, not wanting to explain to her the real truth of it.
"I don't normally do-uh- touching actually, I like my personal space if you haven't noticed," she said, her words falling on each other in her nervous babble.
"I have Hawke, there is no need to apologise," he said, a small part of him wanted to try it again, to ask if he could touch her hand just for a moment but he was a coward.
"You're just like my brother!" she blurted out.
"I see?" he asked, wondering if she thought of all men as her brothers.
"Uh- no shit, no I mean I'm just comfortable like I am with my brother around you," she said, smacking her face.
"Hey Hawke, you better not be throwing up or your mother's going to chase you into the Deep Roads if you cover the streets with vomit- Broody, you said you were going home!" Varric exclaimed as he walked out of the tavern and looked back and forth between Hawke and Fenris.
"I-yes, I was bidding Hawke good night," Fenris lied, nodding his head towards Hawke.
"Yes, Fenris good night," Hawke said, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment as she stared at him.
"Good night."
He walked away from the tavern more bewildered than when he arrived.