Chapter 35 – A reuinion of sorts.
Big thank you to my beta LostSpace for all of her help with this chapter as I found it very difficult, I had terrible writers block and even though she was unwell she carried on helping me! Three cheers to LostSpace guys!
So sorry for the delay as I said writers block and a hectic life got in the way, but hopefully you won't be disappointed.
Thank you for your reviews, reads, favourites and follows. Every review I get it is like a little ray of sunshine!
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Amber Amell smirked as she walked towards Anders, stepping over the debris effortlessly. She had not changed- it was as if she had stepped out of one of his memories. She still donned the ceruleanWarden armour that accentuated her navy blue eyes. Her face was decorated with scars from close shaves in battle, but aside from that it seemed like moments ago they had fought at each other's side.
"Hello Justice," she said in her usual dulcet tone. She stared into Anders' eyes, not registering the others amongst them for a moment. Her gaze left Anders and moved across the other party members and lingered at the sight of Hawke setting her brother down on the stone floor.
"Cousin?" Amber exclaimed in shock, moving towards Hawke and Carver with haste. Anders' mouth popped open in shock at the revelation. There was always something familiar about Hawke that made him comfortable around her and now he finally understood. He did not see it before, but now they were standing together he noticed that Amber and Hawke had the same sharp jawlines and the same stubbornness that seemed to be endowed on all Amell women.
"She has come to take us back, Anders. We cannot allow it," Justice grumbled in irritation at the sight of Amber Amell examining Carver with sympathetic eyes.
His thoughts were interrupted by the vibrations of larger footsteps and he cast his eyes at the passageway that was now occupied by a small golem- not that any golem was ever small but this one was smaller than most he had seen in various books he had read in the Circle. The golem –who he recalled Amber mentioning was called Shale- looked around at each of them with an air of distrust and dislike.
"I have had you both in my prayers since Ostagar, Aria. I see that they were unanswered," Amber whispered, attempting to touch Hawke's shoulder but was denied by Hawke who swatted her comforting hand away quickly.
Amber stood up then and turned towards Anders with a determined frown. Her eyebrow quirked up as she walked towards him and Anders knew that she was here for the sole reason of bringing him back. Carver's taint was just an added factor into the current situation.
"I was surprised, to say the least, when I tracked you and felt you turn back towards me. For a moment I thought you might have finally come to your senses and agreed to come back with me. Shale believed that you and Justice were coming to deal with me," she chuckled, but it was strained. Anders could tell she was on edge by the way she flickered her hand to the hilt of her spectral sword and how her eyes flickered wildly around the other people as if waiting for an attack. The battles she had encountered in her life had caused Amber to become paranoid and Anders couldn't blame her. From Archdemons to broodmothers and talking darkspawn, Amber Amell had witnessed too much in her lifetime already.
"It still has time to try. Although from the things I heard about it, I imagined it to be bigger. It is covered in feathers -does it want to be a bird? I do love squishing birds," Shale replied coldly. The golem was festooned in crystals and Anders had no doubt that if they were to come to battle the bloody thing would squish him with the same ease it did with birds.
"But no, I really should have predicted something like this. I thought you left this world behind you, you know. I thought you fought for your cause now, Anders, and here I find you in the Deep Roads, yet again," Amber chimed in an almost exasperated voice.
"Not all of us have the liberties of the king's mistress sweetheart, or is it formally Court Enchanter?" Anders cajoled falsely. He knew how to keep Amber on his good side and wanted to play that in his favour. Maybe he could make her see the importance of his cause. She was always a woman who despised violence, which was ironic to say the least. She would rather do things without blood on her hands.
"It uses words such as sweetheart. I already despise it," Shale declared loudly, making Varric snort at her audacity.
"And not all of us are fuelled with the power of the Fade. It must get awfully loud in your head these days," she sniped back, ignoring Shale's comments as she flashed him a spiteful grin.
"Justice understands-"Anders started, but she cut him off with the wave of her hand.
"Justice is like a child in this world. One you have taken into your soul and now he has changed, your cause has become one. But so have you. You have coloured Justice and moulded him into Vengeance. I've been tracking you for a while. I know what you have done. You murdered templars in the chantry! You wish for freedom for the mages, yet you tear down the freedom of others to compensate for it. You and Justice cannot lead a rebellion; no one ever follows a hypocrite. Well, no one that ever lives afterwards," Amber said, emphasising the no one.
"Your way with words still astounds me Amber. You haven't changed; I don't think you've even aged. The only difference is the hair. You never let it grow so long," Anders murmured, more to himself than anyone else.
"Alistair likes my hair long," she replied back sweetly. A bitter sweet reminder of what they were once to each other.
She stared at him with obvious desire; he grabbed a handful of her short hair and slammed her to the wall with violent force. "And what of your king?" he growled into her neck before biting down on her soft ivory skin. "My king has forsaken my love for his birthright He lies with another to pacify the masses and he should learn I am not a toy for any man to use," she seethed back, her blue eyes ignited with a fiery passion that could bring Thedas to its knees. He met her lips with a heated kiss, their clothes starting to fall to the floor in a lust filled haze.
"Enough Anders!" Justice exclaimed, a mental shudder taking effect over the memory that began to play in his mind. Anders could still recall every moment as if it was just yesterday; Amber Amell had a hold of him that he hoped would be cured.
"Anything for your bastard king, as always," he sneered, his mask of impassiveness dissipating at the memory of what they once were.
"Now, now, insulting my lover isn't going to make me forget. Answers if you please, if you want me to disobey my orders," she chimed, her voice becoming almost sugary in its feigned angelic tone.
"Oh, still not queen then?" Anders asked.
"Oh Anders, curiosity killed the cat. Are you sure you really want to know when Alistair and I will be wed? I feel you should use your time to explain yours and Justice's actions and quickly," she said, her eyes flashing over to Hawke and Carver with a flicker of concern.
"I think you'll find bloody Nathaniel killed my cat," Anders shot back.
"Now that is not entirely true. He was told to confiscate it. He was not told, however, that you would summon a spirit from within yourself to defend your cat's life. I found the report amusing, to say the least. Now, time is running out and I feel as if I may have to force you to come back with me and that would never end well. Answer my questions, Anders. Just because I've seen you naked does not mean I'll back out of my duties," Amber countered, the casualness of her tone suggesting they were merely talking about the weather.
"The templars took Karl just for sending letters. They made him tranquil with no warnings. And then they intended to make me like him too. What would you have done?" Anders spat, ignoring Varric's choking noises as he recalled the night at the chantry all those months ago.
"So your solution was to burn them to a crisp? They were men doing their duty to their faith, just as you were doing your own duty. Why not just flee? Why did you have to kill them?" Amber asked, genuinely curious.
"There cannot be a middle ground Amber. There will be a war, but I don't intend on being its leader," Anders admitted reluctantly. He didn't want to tell her this but if Carver Hawke died today he knew in his heart Hawke would not become the beacon for the uprising. Ever since he had met her he knew she would be a symbol to their kin. Justice protested, but he too knew deep down Anders was right. The boy's death would birth a tyrant, which not even Justice could face.
Amber's face was painted in stark confusion at his words; she flickered to his face and then looked around at the other companions in his party. Her eyes froze at Hawke, who was singing to her brother softly. Amber bared her teeth at Anders, dragging him to one side with a force that winded him in shock. The elf glanced over for a moment at the corner she had dragged him to but turned the other way after a moment of glaring. Everyone apart from Shale was too lost in their own worlds to even care about Anders it seemed.
"You want to make her the leader of your rebellion? Do you know my cousin at all?" Amber hissed, one hand still gripping Anders' arm tightly whilst the other darted to her weapon.
"Better than you do. You were granted the privileges that any other mage would dream of. You have the favours of the royal court in your hand. And what do you do? You use them so you can marry your blighted king," he spat back at her, lowering his voice from the prying ears of both the elf and Varric.
Amber seemed at a loss for words for a moment, doubt leaked on her face as she looked back at Hawke and then Anders. He was glad the elf couldn't hear his hopes, he would destroy them before they even got a bloody chance.
"And what will happen then? What will happen to the rebels who follow her as if she were Andraste?" Amber probed.
"I fight for the mages and I will always stand for the mages. You are the one who could have changed everything. They could have been freed, all of them. Your kin scream and you turn your back on them to be a queen whose subjects hate what you truly are. I will not be taken prisoner; you bloody well know what happens when someone tries to lock me up! I dream of a world where mages can love who they want, without the bloody chantry gracing them with the honour," his voice emphasising the last sentence even though it was no more than a whisper. He watched in satisfaction as her eyes rocketed to her forehead at his answer.
All of her life, everything Amber Amell wanted was always close enough to touch but too far for her to grasp. She had been in love with the King ever since they were conscripted but when he was crowned ruler of Ferelden, they would not permit him to take a mage as a wife. Whilst Amber battled darkspawn, King Alistair was looking to be betrothed, not by his own choice, however, but rather the Court's. They had danced around each other for years and now they were finally together, but so far apart. Anders knew her desires; he knew she would always choose her bastard king.
"And what if this new world crumbles at your feet?" she whispered.
"Then I will take the blame. I am not afraid to die for this," Anders replied truthfully.
She released him at his word and nodded in defeat, returning back to where the others were still watching Hawke hold her brother tightly and sobbing into his hair.
"V-varric?" Carver whispered, beckoning the dwarf to come closer. Varric hesitated for a moment but walked towards him with a morbid expression emitting from his face.
"Yeah, kid?" Varric said, his voice almost breaking at the sight of Carver.
"Make sure you make me look good when you write about this. S-something like I died defending Aria from fifty hurlocks and I rode to the Maker's side on a griffon or some other blighted tall tale you think is good," Carver wheezed.
"Sure, Junior, I'll make it into a story that will put your sister out of business."
Amber turned to look at Anders with glistening eyes. For a moment, Anders thought she would change her mind.
Shale looked around the room as if she was bored, every so often glaring at the elf who returned the golem's glares enthusiastically. Amber walked over to Hawke who looked up at her with bloodshot eyes. After a moment's silence Hawke stood up and stared at Amber. The intensity of both Amell women seemed to cling in the air like the dust motes they had just escaped from.
"Take him," Hawke commanded with a raised voice deep with authority. Anders almost smiled at the sight of Hawke ordering the Hero of Ferelden about. She had a fire in her soul that he almost worshipped; even Justice admired it.
Amber looked as if she was about to argue, but Hawke continued to speak, "I know you are here for Anders, but rest assured if he becomes a danger to others and himself then he will be dealt with, friend or not," she added, as if reading Amber's mind.
"You may not have it in you, cousin," Amber replied quietly, her head bowed as if she was speaking from experience.
"If Hawke does not fulfill her promise then I assure you that I will not lose any sleep at night by ripping the fool's heart out of his chest," the elf interrupted. Amber stared at him for a moment and nodded her agreement.
"Carver, do you understand? Do you want this?" Amber asked, looking down on the wheezing form of Carver with motherly concern.
"Y-yes, I don't wan-want to die," Carver wheezed, his breathing becoming slower by the minute.
"Say your goodbyes Aria and don't bother following us, you're not part of the arrangement. He's not your responsibility now," Amber said, touching Hawke's shoulder lightly.
Amber swivelled on her heel and turned to face Anders again. She moved so close to him he could feel the heat of her body emitting from her skin.
"I will tell them you avoided capture yet again, but if they look for you I will not save you from your fate. We are even now Anders; if we ever meet again I owe you nothing. This is for the man I knew and loved before Justice," she stated in a cold voice.
"You never loved me like you love him," Anders snapped before realising what he had said.
"No, I suppose I never did," she whispered, already knowing that he spoke about Alistair. Her hand met his for a moment and then she strode back over to Carver, motioning Shale to come pick him up. The golem did so without hesitation and Anders found himself wondering how Amber Amell got all these people to do her bidding without even realising they were being used.
Hawke resisted for a moment, not wanting to give her brother to the intimidating golem but after a few seconds she conceded, letting go of him and watching Shale retreat through the passageway with the eyes of a woman older than herself. She was silent, staring at the concrete in an almost docile manner. It was as if she had become blind in Carver's absence.
"It is as light as air! It looks a lot like my old master's friend. It, too, had quite a big nose and was tall for a fleshy thing. Are we even sure it's a he? It looks more like a girl with its long hair," Shale muttered as she walked with Carver laid in her stone arms.
Amber flashed Anders a sad smile and he felt his stomach pang with all the regrets he'd had in the last few years. If only her king had not rescued her and begged for her return, they could have been happy. He was allowed to be happy once wasn't he?
Not whilst there was no middle ground.
"Farewell," Amber said to the party, but her eyes rested on Anders and he felt the sparks erupt in his stomach as she looked at him. Maker he would give his soul to have that night one more time, a night where he was young and ignorant of the poverty that encumbered this world. He glanced over to Hawke who sat on the floor. At least he had saved Carver.
Amber Amell followed the golem through the passageway, leaving Anders deep in thought. It was ironic that this would all start and end by the behest of an Amell woman. But he felt it was a better fit, that maybe he had been in love with the wrong Amell woman all along. But both were strong willed, both were fierce and commanded power that most men could not wield, and what could he say, women with power drove him crazy.
"You seem to have a preference of woman, Anders, and it seems to almost get you killed. Let us hope that this does not reoccur," Justice droned, wondering when Anders would desert his lust for Hawke for the logic and prosperity of their cause.
Anders silently agreed with Justice.