"This is not funny, Bones," Jamie practically growled.
Her best friend snickered, "What was that, Lieutenant Sulu?"
Scotty and Chekov tried to hold their laughter in but they were failing at it. At least she could count on Spock not laughing at them. Jamie and Hikaru were currently under each other's skin, and not in that ridiculous fluffy way that couples are, they were literally in each other's skin. Like brains in each other's bodies. Damn transporter malfunctions.
"I am still the captain, it doesn't matter if we went all Freaky Friday," she stepped closer to her friend and almost tripped over her own –well, Hiri's- feet. "I feel like I'm on stilts, you're so fuckin' tall. As much as we love each other, we can't stay like this. So, gentlemen, figure out how to fix it… before I have to talk to the brass. I'm goin' to go do something that doesn't require moving."
"You are not gonna be lazy with my body," Hiri told her.
Jamie sighed, "I can barely walk in your body. All I want to do is get from here to my quarters without getting you all banged up."
There was another snicker from the peanut gallery and Bones looked at her, "Come on, Jim. It's just A Boy Girl Thing. You don't mind letting someone else be The Hot Chick, do you?"
She looked at him, "You do not get to play the reference game today. Fix this."
"You okay?" Hikaru asked as he plopped –her body- down on the couch.
"It's weird. As close as we are, and we're very, very close, the idea of being in your body, in your world without you… I don't like it. I don't like having a conversation with myself, either."
He raised an eyebrow, "You don't think this is a little bit cool, babe?"
"No. There are many reasons why I love you, most of which have to do with your brain but there are some things… I mean, I like how I fit in your arms and the way you rest your chin on the top of my head when you hold me. I like how your hands feel on my skin, rough from all the flying and fencing and fighting. Or how safe I feel when you're close to me," she whispered.
"I suppose you have a valid point. It is weird, you being bigger than me. And I never figured out how you always managed to look taller than you are when you're talking to me or Spock and McCoy. Do we seem that tall to you all the time?" Hikaru asked.
Jamie nodded, "Yep. It's a mix of posture and confidence that makes me seem taller. I could try to explain it to you but it took two decades to master."
Hiri chuckled, "Well, at least it's us and not someone else. Could you imagine swapping with McCoy… or Spock?"
"Uhura," Jamie smiled. "I could never pull off being that graceful. I have no idea how she does it." He sighed,
"What I don't get is how either of you gets anything done in this uniform. I feel like I'm gonna flash your goods," he said. Jamie usually wore the long-sleeve duty dress, so she understood exactly how he felt.
"That takes practice too. It's one of those things that we learn as young ladies. Close your legs when you sit. Bend at the knees and not the waist. I'm sure there's stuff that Yuki had to do growing up that you probably didn't notice. You want my help taking that off? It's not as easy as your uniform," Jamie said to Hiri.
"Please, I feel… exposed," he told her with a nudge. It took both of them to get Hikaru changed into workout gear. Taking that uniform dress off is a pain in the ass, especially when you aren't the one in your own body.
She sighed, "This is so wrong. It feels wrong. All I wanna do is crawl into your arms but those are my arms and it just won't feel right."
"You know Scotty, Spock and Pasha will fix this. I don't know how long it will take them but they'll fix it. Look on the bright side, Doc told us to stay in here while they figure it out. How about this, we kick our feet up and watch some movies?" Hiri asked.
Even though it was her face, she could see tiny bits of him peeking through. Jamie smiled, "No body swap movies. No twin swap movies either. You can pick anything you want beyond that."
He nodded, "Done and done."
They curled up on the couch and watched old kung-fu movies until Bones walked into her quarters a couple hours later. Jamie looked up at her best friend expecting him to make fun of them some more.
"We fixed it," the southerner said to the pair of body swapped command officers. Jamie and Hikaru glanced at each other before they followed an unusually quiet Bones out of the room.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked her best friend.
The doctor sighed, "Nothing. I'm sorry I was being a jerk earlier."
Jamie looked at him, "No harm, no foul. There's something else."
"Chekov might've cursed me out," Bones sighed. "He told me that what you're going through is kinda like being trapped in a mirror, you can see yourself but you aren't yourself. He also reminded me that you'd do anything you could if something like this happened to me."
"Maybe next time it could be you and Spock," Hiri joked as they walked into the transporter room.
Scotty chuckled, "I would pay credits to see that."
Jamie nodded, "You and me both. So, where do you want us?" Scotty told Hikaru were to stand and then did the same for Jamie. She glanced at the space ninja in her body, "See you on the flip side."
"Here's hoping," Hiri smiled.
Scotty gave them a three count before he hit the commands, beaming them out and back in again. Jamie stood with her eyes closed for a few minutes before blinking them open and looking down at her hands. Her hands! "We're back!" she said as she looked up at Hiri.
He chuckled and pulled her into a hug, "Let's never do that again."
"You guys should let me check you over, just in case," Bones told them.
Jamie nodded, "Yea, yea."
"Well, that's not good," Jamie said as she handed the PADD to her first officer. Negotiations between the Federation and the Klingon Empire are on the verge of collapse. The Enterprise was ordered to Organia to prevent the Klingons from using it as a base of operations.
"Mister Sulu, lay in a course for Organia, maximum warp," she ordered. Her favorite pilot acknowledged the order and had them shooting off in the right direction in less than a minute.
Spock stood next to her chair, "Captain, Organia is a peaceful, Class M planet in the disputed area near the border."
She sighed, "It's always the peaceful ones that get run over by bullies. Orders are…" The whole ship shook as they were fired upon by a Klingon vessel. "Sulu," Jamie didn't even have to tell him what to do. His hands flew over the console as he returned fire.
The Enterprise was hit a few more times before Hiri glanced at her, "He's done."
Chekov nodded, "Ve are picking up nothing but debris, Keptin."
Jamie looked at her first officer, "Damage report."
"Minor, Captain. Medical is reporting sixteen injured, no deaths," the half-Vulcan told her.
"Captain, I'm receiving a Code One alert from Starfleet," Uhura said from the communications console. The young captain took a deep breath. A Code One that meant they were now at war with the Klingons.
"Mister Sulu, we need to get to Organia before the hammer falls."
"We have reached Organia, Captain," Spock alerted her.
Jamie sighed as she looked out the viewscreen, "It's beautiful. Here's hoping it stays that way. Commander, you're with me. Lieutenant Sulu, you have the con. Your responsibility is to the Enterprise, not me and Spock. If something happens…"
"We'll handle it," he said.
She shook her head, "No, you'll evaluate. If the Klingon fleet shows up, get the hell outta here. Fall back and notify Starfleet. Do not engage them by yourself unless you have no other options. Spock and I will be fine."
Hiri nodded, "Understood, Captain."
Her eyes locked with his, "I'm not the captain, you are." She realized as she stepped into the turbolift with Spock that she used the same words Pike did when he left Spock in command. An ominous feeling came over her, "I don't like this."
"He is a good officer, Jim. He will be fine," Spock told her.
Jamie nodded, "I know."
So, the Organians don't want their help. Not only did the Organians not want their help, Jamie and Spock found that the people seemed curiously unconcerned about the two officers who materializing within their midst out of nowhere. They were welcomed to the planet by a man who called himself Ayelborne. As Chairman of the Council of Elders, he was the closest thing to an authority the Organians had, he took Jamie to the Council Chambers while Spock looked around and took some scans.
She tried to explain what it would mean to let when the Klingons showed up but the brushed her off. The young captain couldn't figure out if they were being really brave or really stupid. The councilors told her that they have no need of protection nor defenses and they don't believe the Klingon invasion poses any threat to their people or their culture.
Of course, that's when the Klingon fleet showed up. Jamie ordered Hikaru to follow her last orders and closed the comm before he could argue with her. She turned her attention back to the council, "Gentlemen, you kept insisting that there was no danger…"
Ayelborne nodded, "That is correct, Captain. There is no danger."
The man next to him looked at the Chairman, "Ayelborne, eight space vehicles have assumed orbit around our planet. They are activating their material transmission units."
"Thank you, Trefayne," Ayelborne said to the man.
Jamie looked at Spock, "Can you verify that?"
He adjusted the settings on his tricorder, "Negative, Captain, but it seems a logical development."
Ayelborne looked at the Starfleet officers, "Captain, since it is too late for you to escape, perhaps we should do something about protecting you."
"If you had listened to me…" she started.
The man on Ayelborne's other side, Claymare cut her off, "We must be sure you are not harmed."
Trefayne nodded, "Ayelborne, several hundred men have appeared near the citadel. They bring many weapons." What the hell?
Jamie took a breath, "How does he know that?"
"Oh, our friend Trefayne is really quite intuitive. You can rest assured that what he says is absolutely correct," Ayelborne told her. Jamie wasn't convinced.
She looked at her Vulcan friend, "So, we're stranded here, in the middle of a Klingon occupation army."
"So it would seem," Spock nodded. "Not a very pleasant prospect."
Jamie chuckled, "You have a gift for understatement, Mister Spock. It's not a very pleasant prospect at all." She looked at Ayelborne. "How do you plan to keep us safe?"
"Hiri would get a kick outta this. I mean, we look like we belong in a medieval or renaissance fair," Jamie muttered with a mental note to add that to their list of things to do when they got home.
Spock looked at her, "I believe Nyota would appreciate our attire as well." The natives gave them clothing to help them blend in, but took their weapons.
Jamie watched as the Klingons walked into the chamber. Their leader stepped forward, "This is the ruling council?"
The Chairman nodded, "I am Ayelborne, temporary head of the council. I bid you welcome."
The Klingon looked at Ayelborne, "No doubt you do. I am Kor, military governor of Organia."
The solider looked at her, "Who are you?"
Jamie held her head high, "Barona, one of the leading citizens of Organia. Welcome."
Kor stepped closer to her, "Where is your smile, Barona?"
"My what?" she asked.
Kor motioned to the Organian Council, "The stupid, idiotic smile everyone else seems to be wearing."
"Do I look stupid or idiotic, Kor?" Jamie asked.
He chuckled and glanced over her shoulder, "A Vulcan. Do you have a tongue?"
"I am Spock, a dealer in kevas and trillium," her first officer said.
One of Kor's men looked at him, "You do not look like a storekeeper."
"Take him. Vulcans are members of the Federation. He may be a spy," Kor ordered.
"He's no spy," Jamie offered.
Kor chuckled, "It appears that we have a ram among the sheep? And the woman, no less. Do you object to us taking him?"
She glanced at her friend, "He's done nothing."
Kor actually smiled at her, "Coming from an Organian, yours is practically an act of rebellion. Very good." He brushed a hand along her jaw, "I am fond of forceful women." Jamie didn't bother being upset at the gesture, it could be a lot worse.
Kor looked at the Council, "So you welcome me." He looked at Jamie, "Do you also welcome me?"
She tempered her attitude, "You're here. There's nothing I can do about it."
"Good honest hatred," Kor chuckled. "Very refreshing. However, it makes no difference whether you welcome me or not. You are now subjects of the Klingon Empire. You'll find there are many rules and regulations. They will be posted. Violation of the smallest of them will be punished by death."
"We shall obey your regulations, Commander," Ayelborne told the Klingon.
Kor seemed more interested in her, "You disapprove, Barona?"
"You need my approval?" Jamie asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No, I need your obedience," Kor told her. "Nothing more. Will I have it?" She wanted to tell him to fuck off but she wasn't about to risk people's lives if it pissed him off.
"You appear to be in command, Kor."
"Yes. I am. I shall need a representative from among you. Liaison between the forces of the occupation and the civil population. Barona, you shall be my liaison." She could see why he picked her, the council was grinning like idiots.
Jamie looked at him, "Me? I don't want the job."
"I am not asking. Klingons have a reputation for ruthlessness. You will find that it is deserved. Should one Klingon soldier be killed, a thousand Organians will die. I will have order. Is that clear?" Kor asked everyone in the room.
Ayelborne nodded, "Commander, I assure you our people want nothing but peace. We shall cause you no trouble."
"I'm sure of it. Take the Vulcan to the examination room. Barona, I will familiarize you with your new duties," Kor ordered.
"And Mister Spock?" she asked.
Kor looked at her, "You are concerned?"
Jamie nodded, "He is my friend."
"You have a poor choice of friends," Kor told her. "He will be examined. If he is lying, he will die. If he is telling the truth, he will find that business has taken a turn for the worse. You have a backbone. I may be able to deal with you, Barona. Come with me."
"What did they do to you?" Jamie asked Spock as she took his arm and they walked through the square.
He looked at her, "They have a device, a mind-sifter that they employed. Fortunately, my mental shields were able to withstand it. We must do something, Jim."
"No shit. You should've seen the list of regulations that Kor gave me," she told him. No public assemblies of more than three people. All publications to be cleared through his office. Neighborhood controls will be established and hostages selected. A long ass list of crimes against the state. Of course, it was her job to keep the people in order or she'll be killed. Jamie sighed, "We still have a job to do."
"We'll receive no help from the Organians," Spock reminded her.
Jamie shook her head, "Maybe, but sooner or later they'll start resenting how the Klingons run things. If we could prove to them they could do something to strike back, to keep the Klingons off balance. Did I or did I not see something that looked like a munitions dump outside of Kor's headquarters?"
"You did," he answered.
"I think it's time we did some communicating. Tonight," she smiled.
Spock nodded, "A very welcome idea, Jim."
"We're short on tools."
"I am certain the Klingons will provide whatever is necessary," he told her. "Are we about to have what Doctor McCoy calls 'one of those crazy Jim and Sulu moments'?"
Jamie nodded, "Yep. It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mister Spock." The pair split up, there was nothing they could do while it was still light out.
"Excuse me, sir," Jamie said to the Klingon guarding the ammo dump. She had tugged the top of her dress down a tiny bit and took deep breaths, drawing attention to her chest. The second the solider took the bait, she dropped him. Spock ran past her and she pulled the Klingon from the middle of the path. She settled him next to a building before she followed her first officer.
"Sonic grenade? Oh, Spock, you shouldn't have," she told him. If he was the type to laugh, he would've.
"It has a delayed action fuse. And these crates contain chemical explosives. They should make a most satisfactory display." Spock casually dropped the grenade into a box and the pair took off to find cover. The scientist counted them down and pulled her into his arms to shield her from harm when the explosion went off. And what an explosion it was.
"Not bad, Mister Spock."
She was gonna strangle Ayelborne. The Organians were appalled by the violence, which she could understand, but that was no reason to out her to Kor. He had the Council Chamber under surveillance and heard the conversation between Jamie, Spock and the Council about the bombing. Ayelborne, learning Kor's plan to interrogate Jaime with the mind-sifter, revealed her identity.
"There's no need to use your machine on her, commander. She is Captain Jamie T. Kirk," Ayelborne told the Klingon. Jamie glared daggers at him.
Kor smiled, "Captain of the USS Enterprise. A starship commander. And her first officer? I had hoped to meet you in battle, but…"
Ayelborne cut him off, "For some reason, she feels that she must destroy you, Commander, just as you feel you must destroy her."
"That's going to be rather difficult now. Isn't it, Captain? What an admirable people. Do you always betray your friends?" Kor asked the Organian.
Ayelborne looked at Kor, "I didn't want you to harm her. I'm sorry, Captain. It was for the best. No harm would come of it."
"The idea of dying doesn't bother me," she said. "I just have no desire to die for you."
Kor nodded, "I don't blame you, Captain. Lock up the Vulcan. Take the Captain to my office. We'll have a talk before I do what must be done."
One of the Klingons grabbed her arm and pulled her from the chamber. Hiri, Bones and the crew was safe, if she was gonna die, she was gonna take comfort in that fact.
"Have a drink with me, Kirk," Kor said as he entered the room behind her.
"Might as well," she accepted. Jamie doubted that the Klingon warrior would drug her. One, it wasn't their style. Two, they had that mind-sifter thing so drugs would be pointless. Jamie took a sip from the glass offered to her. The dark amber liquid was bitter but not unpleasant. "Whatever you want from me, the answer is no."
Kor sighed, "You and I are not so different, Captain. I must confess to a certain admiration for you. The young commander thrust into battle. I know that it was you who destroyed our supplies last night. We are similar as a species. Here we are on a planet of sheep. Two tigers, predators, hunters, killers, and it is precisely that which makes us great."
"I'm assuming you have a point," Jamie told him.
Kor smiled at her, "So, it shall be a matter of testing each other's wills. Of power. Survival must be earned, Captain. Tell me about the dispersal of your Starfleet."
She chuckled, "That'll never happen."
"I can get what I want through our mind-sifter but there would be very little of your mind left, Captain. I have no desire to see you become a vegetable. That friend of yours, the Vulcan, he seems to have the ability to block our scanner. Perhaps I will find out why. I will have him dissected. Your friend killed. You, a mental vegetable. Not a pleasant prospect, Captain, but it lies ahead for you unless you tell me everything I want to know. Twelve hours," Kor told her.
"You might as well kill me, I'm not telling you anything," Jamie smiled sweetly.
"We shall see. I respect you, Captain Kirk, but this is war, a game we Klingons play to win." He looked at the guard, "Take her to the cell with her friend. And watch them closely." The guard in the room grabbed her arm again and pulled her out of the office.
"This is usually when the Enterprise pulls off a miracle. How much time we got?" she asked.
Spock looked at her, "Six hours and forty-six minutes." The pair was trying to figure out their best option when the door to their cell opened and Ayelborne stepped inside, offering them safe passage back to the Council chambers, where he assured them the Klingons will not come.
Jamie didn't like it but it was the only card they had to play. Of course, when Kor found out, he rounded up two hundred Organians to be killed. And he would keep killing them until Jamie and Spock turned themselves in. Still, the Organian Council refused to act.
"I'm not gonna let anyone else die because of me. If you aren't gonna do something, that's fine but I can't stay here while he slaughters your people," she told the men. Spock found their weapons and the two Starfleet officers made break for Kor's stronghold.
"Well, Commander, I guess that takes care of the war. Obviously the Organians aren't going to let us fight," Jamie said to Kor.
He smiled, "A shame, Captain. It would have been glorious."
"On that, we can agree," she chuckled.
So, the Organians were playing them the whole time. They had evolved into advanced and powerful energy beings, and the outward appearance of Organia was solely to provide points of reference for visitors. The natives made everyone's weapons too hot to handle, and the same was the case on every ship in both fleets. It was Ayelborne and Claymare, intervening to stop the violence. Immobilized, both sides agreed to stop fighting and went back to their respective corners.
Jamie sighed as she stepped into her quarters. Of course, Hikaru was already there, "You look rather fetching, my fair lady."
"Why thank you, kind sir. You wanna help me take this off?" He nodded and stood up from the couch, his hand gliding over the fabric at her hip. She could see the wheels turning in his head.
Hiri tangled his hand in her hair and pulled her into a kiss, he used his other hand to pull her tight against his chest. She doesn't know how long they stood there, and she didn't really care. Kissing Hiri was like coming up for air after being close to drowning, she needed it like she needed oxygen. Jamie let out a whimper when he pulled away. Her boyfriend chuckled at her reaction to him.
"I thought we might've lost you a few times."
"I thought I was done once or twice down there, if I'm being honest. But I'm here, we're okay and somehow, we're not at war," Jamie told him.
Hiri chuckled, "I can live with that. Come on. We're gonna get you out of this, then we're gonna take a shower and pass the hell out. It's been a long two days and I just wanna cuddle with my girl."
"Like I'd pass that up."