Chapter 18: Stork n' Pork

My face was buried in my pillow. I couldn't bear to look at Charon. Never had I felt so ashamed of my choices. The room felt like it was closing in on me.

"Eleanor, would you like something to eat?" Charon asked quietly.

I shook my head slowly. I wouldn't be able to hold it down so why try?

"Do you need anything of me?"

"...What do you think of me now?" My voice was shaky.

"I believe that you were reckless as usual but you are having to suffer the consequences unjustly. My personal opinion of you has not change." He shifted in his seat.

I flipped over to face him. "But what did you think of me before that?"

Charon stroked his chin in thought. "Reckless, selfless, too nice, lonely, and generous. Those are the first things that come to mind."

"Oh." I pulled the covers up but they caught on my foot.

"Let me help you with that." Charon tugged the blanket over my shoulder and tucked it around me. "If you don't mind me asking, why do you bother with wanting to know what I think of you?"

"Well, I just sort of have a thing about being liked. I've always wanted to be liked by everybody. That hasn't really happened out here. Hell, I think it was the vault that did this. No one liked me there except Butch." My heart sank at the thought of him. What would he say if he found out I was pregnant?

Charon seemed to stiffened at the mention of Butch. "I have noticed that you talk about him often. You don't seem very fond of him yet you still leave a tone of something besides agitation."

"I told you that he was sort of my fiancee in the vault. That's really all there is to it. We cared for each other but I never really loved him now that I think about it. He loved me in a different way. He had a lot of issues about expressing his feelings. Trouble at home, stuff like that."

"I fail to see what trouble there would be in the safest place in the wasteland."

My eyes narrowed. "There are still a lot of problems that come with staying in a vault. Inbreeding was starting to become an issue before I left. Vault Depression Syndrome, paranoia, severe anxiety, claustrophobia, fights. That stuff happens when you put so many people in a closed space for over two hundred years."

"I did not mean to offend. I was just unaware of such issues. They do sound like nightmares when everyone is suffering some kind of ailment."

I glanced at the clock on my Pipboy. Of course, only 21:33.

"I am unsure if it means anything, but I am very sorry that this has happened to you. I want you to know that if you go through with keeping it, you aren't alone." Charon fidgeted with his sleeve.

I could feel the familiar sting from oncoming tears threatening to take over. A lump was forming in my throat at an alarming rate. I must not have been good enough at hiding it since Charon slipped his hand into mine.

I gave in and the sobs racked my body. "I don't want to be pregnant, Charon!"

He sat on the edge of the bed and I crawled into his lap. I brought my knees to my chest as Charon cradled me in his arms. He lightly kissed the top of my head. "I know, smoothskin."

I wrapped my hand in his shirt tightly and muffled my anguished cries into his shoulder. I barely even noticed the small crowd forming outside the room.

"Go the fuck away!" Charon growled. It was immediately followed with scrambling feet, people knocking over tables, and Greta's wrath.

Someone knocked on the room divider.

"Who is it?" I called out in Charon's chest.

"Carol, sweetie. Can I come in for a moment?"

"Yes ma'am." I wiped my face to look somewhat presentable.

She pushed the divider open and slipped in through the gap, closing it back behind her.

"Oh, sweetie. I heard you crying and like a mother's instinct, I had to check to see if you were alright." She placed a dainty hand on my shoulder.

"I don't think so." I coughed.

"Do you need something to drink? I heard what you said." She cupped my face gently. "Don't cry, stress hurts the baby. And try to make the best of it. Are you keeping it?"

"I'm not going to downright kill it if that's what you're asking. I don't know what I'm going to do with a baby. I still need to find my dad."

"You'll have to start thinking of plans and making the decisions that are best for the baby."

"Barrows said he didn't know for sure if I am, but the way I've been since I got out here, it wouldn't surprise me." I sniffled. Carol pulled out a cloth and handed it to me.

"Thank you. I don't know what I'm going to do." I blew my nose loudly.

"I see it as you have the chance to have a family and settle down before things get too crazy for you." Carol patted my hand.

"I appreciate you trying to help but I don't feel mentally capable of seeing the bright side yet."

"You should get some rest. Sleep will make time speed up."

I looked up to see Charon looking towards the crack in the room divider very closely. "What are you looking at?"

"I could have sworn I just fucking saw Ahzrukhal pass by." His muscles were tense under his armor.

I slid off of his lap. "That's impossible, but you can go check if you feel you need to."

"I'll be right back, Eleanor." He stood up and slung his shotgun from his back and shoved his way out of the room.

"He's seeing things." Carol eyed the dividers carefully.

"Great. Something else I need to worry about." I sighed and fell back on the mattress.

"You really do have your hands full."

"That's a gross understatement." I rolled on my stomach and shoved my face back into the pillow.

"I'll stay here until he comes back, sweetie." She took my hand.

"You know Carol, I never knew my mother."

"That's a shame. I loved my mother very dearly. She didn't survive the radiation after the bombs dropped." She seemed to be elsewhere as she remembered her mother.

"Did you have any children of your own?"

She seemed to slowly come back. "I didn't actually give birth to children but that doesn't make Gob any less of a son to me."

"I may not have had a mother growing up, but you are the closest I've ever felt to feeling a mother's love."

Carol smiled sadly and squeezed my hand. "You are as much my child as Gob is. Just call me whatever you like."

"You wouldn't mind if I called you 'mom', would you?" I asked from under the sheets.

Her chin quivered. "Of course not, sweetie. You can call me 'mom'."

Carol and I jumped when Charon slammed the divider into the wall. He dropped down onto the foot of the bed with his gun in his lap. Carol and I looked at each other with uncertainty.

"Charon?" I asked cautiously.

"It wasn't him."

"Shouldn't you be glad?" Carol asked.

"It was Crowley. It appears that he has taken over The Ninth Circle."

"You don't ever have to even look at that place ever again, you know."

"I should go. Goodnight, sweetie. Goodnight Charon, take good care of her." Carol smoothed her dress as she stood up.

"Goodnight mom." It felt weird to say, but a good weird.

She smiled sweetly. "Goodnight honey."

She left and it was just Charon and me. He hadn't moved from the foot of the bed.

"What's wrong?"

"He wanted to kill you. He thinks you enslaved me."

"Bastard."

"I killed him. He wanted to hurt you, Eleanor." His voice had a sharp edge to it.

I rolled onto my back and opened my arms. "Come see."

He looked over his shoulder. The edge had disappeared when he spoke again. "Okay."

He laid back on the bed stiffly.

"It was an invitation to sleep on me. I don't just throws those out to anybody."

"You are sure?"

"Positive." He nudged his way up and turned on his side, resting his head on my chest.

"Better." I wrapped my arm around his shoulder loosely.

"I never knew how comfortable this could be."

"You like it?"

"Very much." His face was pure content.

"Get used to it." I grinned.

He gently laid his arm across my stomach.

"I have to protect for two from now on." Charon whispered.

"I guess so." My smile faded.

"Goodnight Eleanor." Charon's voice was rougher than usual.

"Goodnight Charon."