A/N: I am so, so sorry about not getting a chapter up yesterday. I was literally dying from a hangover the entire day and was unable to look at a screen long enough to get some words down. But thanks to the fact that I slept in so late yesterday, I'm now awake at 5am so I'm writing you a chapter before work and I'll write another one on my lunch break which will be posted later to make up for it.
It's time to say goodbye to Regina … :'(
July
"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" Doctor Fisher asked as she finished checking Regina's scars and moved to sit in her chair, taking notes as the brunette pulled her top back on and slid off the examination table.
"I'm ok," Regina said as she sat down next to the desk. "It's been a long time coming. I can hardly believe the day is finally here."
"Well I'm sure you'll be fine," Fisher assured. "Your scars all look completely normal. They've healed well and your movement appears unimpaired by them. Any residual pain?"
"No, that stopped a few weeks ago. I barely notice them now. Except when I catch sight of them in the shower and it all comes back to me."
"It takes time," Fisher advised. "But it will get better. The scars will fade, along with the memories and soon they'll just be another part of you."
"Those memories will never fade," Regina said darkly. Images of Emma's face, pale, panicked, crying flashed into her mind without warning. The brunette shivered involuntarily.
"Has Booth put you in touch with a counsellor for when you get out?" Fisher asked.
"Yes," Regina nodded. "The state will even pay because the trauma was experienced in prison."
"Good," the doctor smiled. "Then I am confident you'll get all the help you need."
"Thanks Doc," Regina smiled. "Thanks for everything." She stood to leave, holding out her hand to shake the blonde's.
"You're welcome Miss Mills," Fisher smiled, taking Regina's hand and moving to open the door. "Good luck."
"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" Booth asked.
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Regina asked as she took the seat across from the counsellor.
"Because it's a big deal," Booth replied. "You've been inside for three years Mills and tomorrow you'll be a free woman again."
"I was free for 22 years before I was inside. I'm sure I'll remember how the world works."
"There'll be an adjustment period," the man advised. "It will take some time to get used to life outside FCI."
"I don't have time to get used to it," Regina replied. "I have to make sure I can prove to that family court judge I'm capable of taking care of a baby in less than three weeks."
The date for the temporary guardianship hearing had been set a few days prior and Regina, Emma and Booth had met several times to discuss their strategy for ensuring the judge ruled in their favour.
"You'll be just fine, Mills. We have a plan in place for you to follow. You have the number of that therapist I've suggested you call. And you have Emma."
"I know, I know," Regina sighed, flopping back into her chair. "I guess it's all a little daunting. And confusing."
"Confusing how?"
"I've been waiting for this day for three years. Counting down my sentence like every other inmate in here. And now I've got less than 24 hours before I'm released … I'm not sure I want to leave."
"It's natural to be wary of change. You've been institutionalised. You've been completely dependent on the prison service and your life has been structured, regimented and controlled for three years. As of tomorrow, that entire system falls away and you're left with nothing. It takes some time to readjust to how you lived before."
"I'm not going back to my old life," Regina remarked.
"Of course not," Booth smiled. "But you'll have to find a place to live. You'll have to find food, secure work, socialise. You'll have your privacy back but you may also feel very alone. In prison, there is no judgement. Everyone inside has made mistakes but on the outside, you're going to be stigmatised for your criminal record and you may find in hard initially to form friendships. There's nothing you can do about society's reaction to convicts except accept it and move on."
"I won't be looking to make friends," Regina said. "All I care about is making sure I have a stable, safe home in which I can raise Emma's son and welcome her into in January."
"Everybody needs friends Regina," Booth advised softly.
"Perhaps," Regina shrugged. "But for now, all I need is to get custody of Shrimp."
"Ok. Well you know you can call me any time before the hearing if you need anything."
"Yes thank you."
"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about or discuss before I let you go and enjoy your last evening here?"
"Just one thing," Regina said. "When I get out tomorrow, am I given any money?"
Booth nodded. "Yes, we give you whatever is left in your commissary and the state also provides $100 to get you started."
"My commissary money, can you have that transferred over to Emma's account?" Regina asked.
Booth smiled at the sentiment. "Of course, let me pull up the account details and I'll see what I can do. Are you sure you don't want any of it?" Booth asked.
"No, I'll be fine with $100."
Booth raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He didn't want to know what Regina had in place to fall back on but by the numerous visitations and phone calls to a real estate agent, the man had a pretty good idea. He just didn't want to ask where the money was coming from. Those two women had been through enough already without him meddling in their lives after FCI.
"Wow!" Booth remarked as the numbers loaded onto the screen. "You've got over $1,000 in your account. Impressive."
"I've been working in here for three years and I don't buy junk food," Regina said, shrugging.
Booth laughed and clicked a few buttons. "Ok so how about I transfer an exact $1,000 over to Miss Swan's account and then you can take the additional $31.54 on top of your $100 tomorrow."
"Sure, thanks."
A few more clicks and taps on the keyboard and Booth leaned back in his chair. "Done."
"Thank you," Regina said before pausing. "Thank you for everything Mr Booth. And thank you for looking after Emma. Thank you for being there for her. Please make sure she's not alone when, well, when it's time."
"I'll be there," Booth assured. "Emma had already asked me herself actually."
"I wish it could be me," the brunette mused.
"So does she," Booth nodded. "But I promise I'll be right beside her the entire time. She won't be alone and she'll know you're there in spirit."
"Hopefully I'll be waiting right outside the gates for her son. Our son," she amended.
"Good luck, Miss Mills," Booth said, getting to his feet and holding out his hand. Regina stood too, shook the extended hand and turned to leave her counsellor's office for the final time.
"It seemed only right," Emma shrugged as she pushed open the chapel door and stood back to let Regina through.
"How is it that we consider having sex in a chapel right?" Regina asked as she walked inside.
"We're criminals," Emma shrugged. "Do we have to justify how our fucked up minds work?"
Regina laughed as she allowed herself to be led to the far corner, away from the weak light filtering through the door.
"Wait here," Emma instructed, dropping Regina's hand and moving further into the gloom. After a few seconds there was a hiss and a small burst of light. The match flame flickered as Emma moved it through the air, lighting three small candles she had placed against the wall earlier. The light danced and flickered over the wall, casting soft shadows over the corner. Regina noticed there was a blanket and two pillows lying beside the candles and she smiled as Emma settled herself down on one side, patted the other and waited for Regina to join her.
"I wanted our last time together to be special," Emma whispered as she lay down on her side, one arm cupping her increasingly large belly.
Regina kissed the blonde softly on the lips, her hand on her cheek as she ran her thumb over the smooth skin.
"This isn't our last time," Regina husked. "We're just taking a brief interlude."
"Six months," Emma grumbled.
"Five and a half," Regina amended.
"Still too long," Emma replied. "Five and a half months without being able to see you, touch you, kiss you whenever I like. I'm going to miss you so much."
"And I you," Regina assured, placing soft kisses on Emma's lips. "But you will see me. At visitation, at court, and I'll bring our son to see you every weekend until you get out."
"I know, I know," Emma said. "But it's not the same."
"No," Regina conceded. "But we've not got a choice. We'll get through this Emma. I believe in us."
"Me too," Emma said, laying her forehead against Regina's.
"Enough talking," the brunette said, reaching down to stroke Emma's rounded stomach before taking hold of her top and beginning to pull it upwards.
They made love that evening. Slow kisses, gentle caresses, the tender touch of fingertips mapping every inch of skin, memorising every detail to remember during their time apart. Scars were worshiped reverently and soft lips peppered expressions of love over Emma's pregnant abdomen. Tongues laved slick, sweet tasting flesh, drawing soft cries of ecstasy as each woman peaked. Their arms encircled each other afterwards, holding tight as their breathing returned to normal, their heartbeats slowed but continued to pound strongly beneath their ribcages, the reverberations felt throughout both women as a symbol of their love and life.
"Tomorrow," Emma whispered after a while. "Be careful."
"I'll be fine Emma," Regina assured, stroking the tangled blonde hair, her cheek resting against her girlfriend's.
"I know," Emma sighed. "I just hate the thought of you out there all alone."
"I don't like it either," Regina admitted. "But I have a meeting on Wednesday with Hopper and hopefully the farmhouse will be as perfect as it was in the pictures. If all goes well, I'll be in our new home in less than two weeks."
"I can't believe I'm going to have a home when I get out of here," Emma murmured.
"More than that Emma. You're going to have a family."
Regina took one last look around her bunk, nodded at Arendelle II (who seemed rather pleased to see the back of her roommate) and headed down the corridor with her cardboard box of possessions.
"Presents for you!" she announced as she walked into Emma's bunk. Red and Snow jumped up eagerly and at Emma's nod, started rifling through the box Regina had placed on the cabinet and fighting over the left over makeup.
Regina rolled her eyes at the sight and smiled softly at Emma who was sat on her bed looking forlorn.
"Hey, you ok?" she asked, sitting beside her girlfriend.
"It's selfish but I don't want you to leave," Emma shrugged.
"I don't want to leave you, if that's any consolation," Regina replied, placing an arm around Emma's waist. "But I have to. For our son's sake."
Emma nodded and sighed. She had known for a long time this day was coming but it didn't make saying goodbye any easier.
"Walk me out?" Regina asked, standing and holding out her hand to pull the heavily pregnant woman to her feet.
Just as they reached the corridor, a voice called out and Regina turned around.
"Regina, wait a moment," Red said, hurrying up after the brunette. A slight glance at Emma made the blonde nod at her bunkmate and walk a little way down the corridor to give the two women a moment alone."
"Mills, I just wanted to say thank you."
"Thank you?" Regina asked, surprised. She and Red's relationship had been tumultuous to say the least.
"Yeah," Red nodded. "Thanks to you, I'm four months clean now. I wouldn't be if you'd continued dealing."
"You're thanking me for stopping smuggling drugs into prison and selling them at massively inflated prices to dependent, vulnerable women?"
"Pretty much," Red replied with a shrug.
"No one replaced me?" Regina asked, slightly surprised.
"There's been some low quality product filtering through here and there but no steady supply since you shut down."
"Amateurs," Regina scoffed. Red laughed.
"Anyway, yeah, I just wanted to say thank you."
"You don't have to say thank you," Regina sighed. "It was wrong of me to be dealing in here in the first place. If anything, I should be apologising to you."
"Friends?" Red offered, holding out a hand to shake Regina's.
"Friends," Regina confirmed, shaking the taller woman's hand. "Bye, Red. See you around. And look after Emma for me."
"Of course. Good luck."
"What was that about?" Emma asked as Regina rejoined her.
"I'm making friends in here."
"Excellent timing," Emma laughed.
The two women walked hand in hand to the release area. Booth was stood there, along with Nolan and Hunter. Emma and Regina stopped a little way down the corridor.
"I guess this is it," Emma said, turning to face Regina.
"I guess," Regina nodded.
"I'll see you on Saturday?" Emma asked.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Regina assured her, brushing some stray hairs away from Emma's face.
Emma hesitated before throwing her arms around Regina and pulling the brunette into a tight hug.
"I love you," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks as she nuzzled into Regina's neck, inhaling her unique scent and squeezing tighter.
"I love you too," Regina promised, her own eyes glassy as she buried her face in Emma's soft blonde hair.
After a minute or so, they broke apart. Wiping the tears from each other's cheeks, they tried to smile reassuringly at one another but neither were believable.
"Good luck," Emma said, moving to place a chaste kiss on Regina's lips.
The kiss was short, too short. But they had the memory of the previous evening.
"I'll see you really soon," Regina assured as she ran her hand gently over Emma's belly before she stepped backwards, paused and then turned to walk towards the three men waiting for her.
"I love you," Emma called after the brunette.
Turning around once more, Regina smiled. "I love you."
The gate slid closed, bars separating the two women before Regina was led out of sight. Emma slumped against the wall and slid to the floor, tears rolling down her face again as she buried her head in her hands.
A/N: Oops, didn't mean to make it so sad, sorry!