While I'm standing in line at the cafeteria, I feel a tap on my shoulder that's more like a jab. I look around and there's Jou, his bottom lip sticking out a little and his eyebrows furrowed together. I block his thoughts from coming into my head, but I can still feel that he's annoyed.

"Hey." I say.

"Weren't we supposed to meet in the courtyard before classes this morning?" He asks, but I know it's not really a question. He knows I didn't forget.

"Were we?" I blink innocently, and the crease between his brows grows deeper.

"Were you hanging out with that new guy instead?" He suddenly asks, his voice a little rough. The amber of his eyes is like hot liquid gold, burning my flesh and searing my bones.

"His name is Valon, and no, I was not with him. I just…forgot that we were meeting today. Sorry."

"If you'd rather work with him than me—"

"Did you not hear what I said?" I snap, irritated. Why did I feel like I had to explain myself to him? I didn't owe Jou anything. There wasno reason for me to have to defend myself. I turn away from him, grab whatever food I saw first, then go to the register to pay. He follows behind me like some silent, menacing dog, and he stays like that all the way to my table. Kaiba gives me a look of deepest loathing when he sees who is with me, and I shrug an apology to him as I sit down.

Jou doesn't look at Kaiba. He only stares at me, waiting for me to speak. I ignore him and eat my food – which turns out to be a ham sandwich. Jou suddenly leans against me, our skin touching all the way down our shoulders and arms. Suddenly, I can't chew anymore. It all feels like mush in my mouth. I know he's trying to stop me from avoiding him and make me talk, but having his hard body touching mine is actually having the opposite effect. I force myself to swallow. I force myself to not look at him. I force my stomach to stop flipping over. I force myself to stop remembering that us touching affects me more than him.

"Listen, Mai…" His voice seems softer now. "If you don't want to work with me, just say so…okay?"

I wait a couple more seconds, until I'm sure it's safe, before managing to glance over at him. He's too close since he's still leaning against me, and I try to keep my breathing steady. He's looking at me with his head tilted, biting his lip. I breathe in deeply, trying to calm down. The last time we were so close together was that day at his front door. I didn't need a repeat of that scene.

"I'm sorry," I say. And I mean it. "How about we try again? After school?"

He looks at me for a while longer, doubting if I can be trusted, and then nods.
"Okay. I'll meet you right here after school. And Mai?"

"Yes?"

His fingers brush my arm.
"Don't stand me up again."

I swallow down the golf ball in my throat.
"I promise." I say in an absurdly small voice just as Valon walks over.

"Yo." He says, but his voice seems deflated. His eyes are looking at Jou, noting how close we are, how Jou's fingers are still lingering on my arm, with dread. Jou pulls away and stands, eyeing Valon right back. There's some kind of primitive contest going on between them in that moment, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. It was weird seeing Valon get jealous over me when a) I told him I was not interested and b) he has nothing to worry about - there was nothing between Jou and I.

Eventually, Jou jerks his head at Valon in a backward nod, and Valon jerks his head back. Then Jou is gone and Valon is sitting where he had been. I sigh and rest my head in my hands. Valon gives my arm a little squeeze and says, "Hiya" in a much brighter tone. I wince. Valon touching me was not like when Jou touched me. There was no jolt - no surge like I had felt before. I hated how much Jou could still affect me even afer all this time.

"What's up with some of the chicks in this school?" He asks, looking over at a group of girls talking excitedly about their hair.

"A lot of them are bitches. I love them." I answer, finally removing my head from my hands and turning around. He probably thinks I'm looking at the girls, too, but I'm not. My eyes are following Jou as he walks over to his little group. I know I shouldn't stare, but I can't help myself.

I can't look away.

When I get to the cafeteria after classes that day, my heart is lodged up in my throat. The only thing keeping me from not running away again is how I had promised him earlier that I wouldn't. Jou watches me with a neutral expression as I walk through the door and sit across from him, and I wonder if he's purposely trying not to look angry. For the first time, I'm listening hard to his thoughts, but all I get from him is Why is everything so difficult with her?

Well, when you're psychic and your project partner is annoyed with you; the best thing to do is get right down to business.

"So, what's the assignment?" I ask, and he hands me a piece of paper with a single sentence written at the top: For each partner, working together, make a list of your ten greatest attributes.

"This is so stupid." I mutter, wanting to light the paper on fire and watch it burn.

"I think it's interesting." He replies brightly, and I look at him. He takes a pencil out from his bag and draws a line down the middle of the paper. "Who first?"

"You go."

"Okay…" He looks at me, the pencil poised over the paper, and waits.

"What?" I finally ask after a few minutes of him staring at me.

"What are my ten greatest attributes?"

"How should I know?"

"So you can't think of one good thing to say about me?" He blinks, looking hurt for some reason. I press my lips together and look at the table. Actually, I can think of a hundred good things about him - all of them embarrassing things I wouldn't really want to say out loud. Especially to him.

Finally, I just blurt, "You're enthusiastic."

"Enthusiastic?" He asks, raising a brow, but he writes it down anyway. "What else?"

"Why don't you think of some?"

"I want to know what you think of me." He says, sincere, and I'm struck dumb. As if he hadn't just dropped that bomb on me, he taps the pencil on his chin. "Well, I'm pretty good at building things. I made the birdhouse hanging off the tree back home - you've seen it." I nod, acknowledging that, yes, I remember – despite acting as if I've never known him before this. "No birds really go in it, though. Dad says they would crap all over it anyway." He writes it down, then says, "Also, I'm a total rasta on my board."

"You're what on your what?"

"I'm really good at skateboarding." He clarifies for me. "I can almost ride any trick switch, except for the darkslide and flamingo. I've almost perfected my pop shove-it underflip."

"What hellish language are you even speaking?"

"Skater lingo, I guess." He grins. Something about his expression makes me laugh.

"This will go faster if you stick to English."

"Gnarly." He mutters, and I purse my lips. We go back and forth like that, thinking up his good qualities, until we have this final list:

1. Enthusiastic
2. Skilled at making things
3. Good at skateboarding
4. Loves animals
5. Good listener
6. Generous
7. Friendly
8. Tall
9. Observant
10. Lucky

"That makes ten. Your turn." He pauses; pressing his lips together like he always does when he swallows. "What do you think your greatest attributes are?"

"I'm smart." I say, a bit too proud, and he writes it down. "I'm confident, too. I also really like animals, but especially cats and birds." Suddenly, I feel less assured about my qualities and I stop talking. "I don't like this project."

"What else do you like about yourself?" He asks, pressing his pencil eraser into his cheek and waiting. I stay silent. I don't want him to know how little I actually think of myself - but if I don't say anything, he'll know anyway. It's not that I hate myself, it's just that I didn't really ever think of my attributes a lot. I'm more…practical. Thinking of my life as a whole instead of nitpicking things. I don't spend my time worrying about my weight or hair or looks like other girls seem to. I just didn't want to sound too self-obsessed in front of Jou. Which was stupid, we're not even friends. I shouldn't care what he thinks of me.

"I'm...good at hiding my feelings." I say. But I'm not sure if that's really a good thing or not. It hasn't seemed to get me anywhere so far.

He looks at me, as if he knows all to well the truth of that last point, and I shift in my seat. Impossible. He doesn't know me, but it's like he can see me – really see me. A me hidden deep inside. A me I don't want him to know. When he looks at me, I feel all blustery,and I do not want to feel like that.

I do not want to sit here with Jou making me feel like this. I do not want to be involved with him anymore than I have to be. I do not want to keep dragging this out. I do not want to keep thinking about him. I just want to go home, hold my cat, and be alone. That way I don't have to worry what other people are thinking. That way I don't have to spend so much energy trying to be nonchalant.

"How about I write some down?" He suggests, and I nod silently, more than happy to have a reason to be silent. He moves the paper so I can't see and starts writing. Just then, Kendra walks in. Right as I'm thinking, Why can't I seem to get away from her? I see that behind her is Valon.

Valon?

Yes, Valon.

When he sees me, his gives a covert little wave and I nod at him, wondering what-in-hell's-name he was doing here with the girl he had previously thought stupid. I notice she's carrying a slip of paper, and I realize that, of course, they must've been partnered together for the stupid project. Poor Valon. They stroll over to us casually. Kendra smiles at Jou privately in that way most girls do when they're trying to be cute in front of someone they're attracted to.

"Hi," She says, completely ignoring me.

"Hi." He replies, but his eyes are trained on Valon like two cruise missiles. I hear him think, Stay away from her.

Whoa. So Jou has a thing for Kendra? I blink rapidly and look away from the two. My mouth feels like it was filled with sawdust. Lead had been dropped into my gut. Since when? Why? Doesn't she already have a boyfriend? Is he actually into that kind of girl? Is that why we didn't... I bite my lip and scold myself. So what if he likes her? It's none of my business. Nothing happened between us, anyway. It was all one-sided from the beginning. Jou can like or date any girl he wants to. It's his right. I don't care. I don't…

I care.

I care so much it almost hurts me physically - like there is this weird, giant bubble of air trapped at the base of my throat. It wasn't fair how much I cared – how much I still cared after everything. It wasn't fair that I was the only one clinging to it. It wasn't fair how I can't escape his gaze, how I can't forget his voice, how I can't avoid him, no matter what I do or how hard I tried. The more I resisted, the harder gravity pulled me to him. I wasn't allowed to stop. This is my curse.

Give it up already. I take a deep breath and look back at Kendra, now smiling. "Hey, girl." I say, trying to be nice. Her eyes settle on me in a way that could give someone hypothermia. She mistook my trying-to-be-nice as me being sarcastic. Oh, well. It happens. Can't please everyone.

"Character education should be just the ticket for you." She says. "Maybe you'll learn some manners."

"She only said hi." Jou points out, which amazes me. But the fact that he stood up for me only makes her even cooler.

"Nice outfit, Mai. Did you steal it from work?"

I snort. Ha, ha. A stripper joke. Good one. This wasn't even my shortest skirt, though. Probably because the leather.

"I sure did." I reply, leaning forward and placing my chin on the back of my hand, making sure to show her the cleavage she wished she had. "You seem to be very interested in them. Would you like to come with me sometime? Maybe I can hook you up - give you a trial run around the pole, so to say."

She doesn't answer. She can't think of anything to say. I've won.

But I still feel like the loser.

"Um…" Valon pulls Kendra's sleeve, and she looks at him before putting on her I'm-so-nice-and-cute face back on. She gives Jou a smile so laced with seductiveness that it would make a jet engine stutter. He nods at her, but his eyes are still on Valon – and they're burning with an emotion I've never once seen on Jou's friendly face. Jealousy. Hatred. He hates Valon because he thinks he's going to put the moves on Kendra.

Oh, the irony.

Valon and Kendra walk away to the far side of the room and sit down. Jou looks at me, and I try to smile, but I know it's wrong. I could help him out by telling him that Valon isn't moving in on Kendra – that Valon is interested in me – but why? Why should I help at all? There's no reason for me to go out of my way like that. Especially for him. I hear him think, The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can leave. It hurts that he wants to get away from me so badly, but I don't show it.

Jou finishes writing, and he slides the paper over to me to see.

1. Smart
2. Confident
3. Likes animals (mostly cats and birds)
4. Good at hiding true feelings
5. Funny
6. Independent
7. Amazing dresser
8. Interesting
9. Knows what she wants

And that's it. There is no ten. My first reaction is to feel shocked, then flattered - he wrote some really nice things about me. But then I feel dejected. I wonder how much of those he really thought. He probably just wrote those nice things to get this assignment over with so he can go home and play video games or skateboard. Or so he could day dream about Kendra. Or maybe just to get away from me sooner. Because there was no way Jou could think I was interesting - if he did, he would've made more of an effort to be with me.

So I just look at him, deadpan, and say, "That all looks good. For number ten we can put 'impervious to false flattery.'"

His eyebrows lower and he studies me. My answer was not the one he wanted.
"I did have an idea for ten, but…well…" He trails away, still watching me.

"No, that's okay." I lie. I actually want to know what he was going to put, but I must protect myself from it. "Just put 'impervious to false flattery.'"

"I am not going to put that." He says, a little angry. He writes something down on the paper, then folds it before standing up. "I guess we're done here, then."

"Wait - what did you write?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just tell me."

"But you're so impervious ta false flattery." He reminds me, crushing the paper in his fist.

"Give me the paper."

"No."

"Give me the god damn paper, Jounouchi!" I snap at him, louder than I really meant, also standing. From across the room, Kendra's thoughts sear my mind. She's such a fucking drama queen. I ignore her and keep staring at Jou. He notices Valon and Kendra looking at us, and his face slowly turns red.

"I didn' write anythin'!" He argues, and even in my irritation I can't help but notice how his accent sticks out more when he's angry. But he won't let me see the paper, so I have no choice but to lunge forward and take it from his unsuspecting fingers. Before he can stop me, I unfold it to see that he had wrote, "Beautiful."

Beautiful? He thinks I'm beautiful? I've heard men call me hot or sexy…but beautiful? It's impossible. He's kidding, right? By the time I catch my breath and look up from this mind-blowing, confusing word, Jou has already left the cafeteria. And there's no way I could ever summon up enough courage to catch up with him. What would I even say? Where would it lead us?

Point ten is a lie. A cruel lie.

It must be.