Chapter thirty nine – Sebastian!
A huge thankyou goes out to all my reviewers, I value your input and take note of everything you say. Also a shout out to my followers/favourite's and the people who read this story! You guys are great! S
And let's not forget my amazing beta LostSpace for her help! I am very grateful!
Sebastian made his usual rounds around the chantry before beginning his usual morning prayer. He liked to make sure that all those who came to the chantry seeking the Maker found solace in some form.
Even though it had been two months, every week he would glance at the chantry doors wistfully, hoping he would hear the familiar click of Hawke's leather boots and the cheers of the orphans who- like himself- watched the entrance to chantry faithfully. He had heard she had left for a Deep Roads expedition and thought she would have been back by now. He had even begun to listen to the gossip of the regular patrons of the chantry hoping to find some news of Hawke's return.
The children did not laugh as much as they used to. Hawke was something else entirely to them and when she had left he had found himself trying to fill a gap not even a prince could fill. There was so much about Hawke that he found admirable despite her dislike of the Maker. It was clear to him that it was by his will that Hawke had been put in this city, though the reasons were yet unclear.
He glanced over at Mother Petrice, who seemed to be more relaxed now that Hawke's visits had seemingly ended. The chantry mother had stiffened up at the very sight of Hawke entering the chantry months ago and Petrice would retire to her room claiming she had an upset stomach. Sebastian had intended to ask Hawke about this, but their discussion had been swayed by the new book Brother Genitivi had published. Hawke -like him- was an avid reader and it was rare to find someone in this city who had such a refined taste in literature.
The door swung open and before Sebastian even turned he knew it would be Leandra Amell, coming to do her usual morning prayer. He hoped that she would answer his questions as to Hawke's whereabouts, but before he could even think about asking her his gaze fell on the young woman that followed Leandra Amell in suit.
She was decorated in a silk cream dress with white gloves that the ladies of Hightown all seemed to wear these days. She looked dainty and if it were not for the bright green eyes glaring in silent defiance at her mother he would not have even guessed it was Hawke. He paused for a moment, wondering how to deal with the situation before him.
He marched towards her with feigned casualness and hoped Hawke would understand quickly and follow his lead. Before he could say anything to Hawke however he was intercepted by Leandra Amell, who stood in front of her daughter with a wondering look in her eyes.
"Your majesty, I would like to introduce my daughter, Aria Amell," Leandra said, a pleasant and almost proud smile on her face as she turned her gaze to Hawke, who looked thoroughly uncomfortable with her clothing and the situation she was in. It was rare to find a woman who would turn her nose up at dresses and other worldly items that young women found so attractive.
"Please, Mistress Amell, in the house of the Maker I am merely Brother Sebastian. Greetings Mistress Amell, I hope your business was quite pleasant. May I say –not out of turn of course- that you look beautiful today," Sebastian replied sincerely. He would have laughed but that would have been out of turn, he knew how hard families could be.
"I thank you, Brother Sebastian. I wonder if you could show me the orphanage? My mother and I were speaking of becoming ambassadors for raising awareness of the orphaned young of the Blight," she asked in a smooth delicate voice that almost sounded like it did not belong to Hawke. This woman he had met months ago was rough around the edges and cynical about everything, polite about nothing. Hawke had been replaced by a stranger.
"Of course, if your mother would permit me to?" Sebastian asked courteously, smiling warmly at Leandra Amell.
"Of course your majesty, it is such a good cause. Aria is very enthusiastic about it," Leandra agreed, her eyes glittering with hope. Sebastian was accustomed to mothers doting on him, ever since the news that his family had been killed the nobles had taken pity on him.
Sebastian offered his arm to Hawke, who narrowed her eyes and tightened her lips as if she was trying to hold back many blasphemous words. He would have laughed if it weren't for the presence of Hawke's mother and their pretences.
She took his arm delicately whilst nodding her mother farewell. When they got further away from Leandra –who had begun to pray- Hawke muttered, "You're a royal pain in the backside you know, Sebastian."
"Ah, there is the Hawke I have grown accustomed to," Sebastian smiled as they walked towards the small chamber below the chantry that was the make shift orphanage.
"I have to admit Hawke, I'm curious as to why you're dressed like this. I did not see you as a woman who enjoyed ruffles," Sebastian asked sincerely.
"I am not, Sebastian. My mother blackmailed me to be this woman you see. My expedition did not go as planned, my brother no long resides with us," she answered, her voice sad at her words.
"I shall pray for him in my evening mass, Hawke," Sebastian replied, his voice solemn.
"Don't. He has become a Grey Warden, whilst I have to sit here on a mountain of guilt that my mother has pinned on me. He has adventure where I have been caged to be a noble of all things. I am already going mad. I can't do this but I can't break her heart," Hawke spat as they descended the stone stairs.
"It is difficult for me to comprehend your situation. If you need my aid, however I will of course do what I can. Unfortunately that seems to be little, this is a matter of the heart," he replied, wishing he could do more for her. It seemed to be his trait, never being there for anyone. But that was then, and now the chantry was his family.
"I do not wish for your favours. How about a trade? I have letters to my friends, explaining everything and asking them to meet me in three days' time. Mother is going out to a gala but she did not put down she would have a plus one. There are two dwarves that work in the household but I can get out. If you deliver these for me Sebastian, I will help you deal with your family's killers, you have my word," she replied, her usual rough business tone returning.
Sebastian froze for a moment, lost in thought. He should let this go, he knew he should. He should leave Starkhaven behind and continue the good he did in the chantry. But it held onto him like a vice and he could not let it go. Never.
"What is you wish me to do?"
She nodded her reply and with a swift moment shot her leg up and leant it against the wall as she pulled up her dress. Sebastian felt the blood rush to his cheeks at the sight of her exposed leg and recited the Canticle of Transfigurations whilst she grabbed the letters from her stockings. After she regained her composure she grinned at Sebastian who was purposefully concentrating on the corner of the wall.
"You do not want to know some of the things that Isabela taught me to do," she chuckled, handing him the letters gingerly whilst winking at him. And yet even her jests did not seem real, they were too strained.
"I-uh, ahem," was all that he could reply.
"I've done some sourcing into the Flint Company, actually ran into a few. I have documents regarding the contract on your family, however until I get out of my prison that is nobility I can't get them to a dwarf I know that can crack codes faster than Andraste can- well, never mind that. I shouldn't be saying that in her house," Hawke said, her eyebrows quirked in amusement.
"You have my word that I will deliver these to your friends Hawke, I trust you. I am guessing you haven't seen your friends for a long time, if you need to write them letters?" Sebastian asked, wondering whether the loss of her brother had truly made Hawke- one of the few women he had encountered that enjoyed dealing with work that scared even the bravest of men- housebound and disguised as a noble.
"No, I haven't. In fact the last time they saw me I was a huge wolf. So, I guess they're going to be a bit shocked when they see me. Shall we move on?" Hawke replied casually, nodding her head to the orphanage's chambers.
Sebastian stood in the narrow hallway for a moment, the letters still stuck in his hand as the orphans squealed in delight as Hawke entered the room. He followed her dumbfounded. He had the feeling the more he spoke with Hawke the more often he would find himself dumbfounded.