Chapter 40
So, Hawke's coming back. But will they finally get together?
Few changes here and there, I'm going to concentrate on Kirkwall for a while then move back on to Eric's side story. But he will be returning… and it may end badly but whom for?
Many thanks to all of you, for your reviews/follows/favourites, I don't get time to reply my thanks but please note I do take everything you say on board as I continue this story.
Huge thanks to my amazing beta, LostSpace! Your help has been what's kept this story going!
The blue skies of Kirkwall became stained with a pink hue as Fenris gathered his things for his weekly evening visit with the dwarf. He was disconcerted at the memory of Hawke's reappearance weeks ago. He had almost hoped things would go back to how they were before the disaster that was the expedition. Yet he did not want to push. Four months ago Hawke had made it quite clear that once the expedition was over she would be a noble. And nobles did not associate with former slaves.
For the past few weeks he had found himself looking around corners and in the shadows, hoping to see the familiar splay of white hair with the streak of red, or maybe the glint of her black armour in the shadows. And yet Hawke was nowhere to be found, she did not come to his mansion again, nor did she contact the dwarf– who was annoyed about the matter to say the least- or the abomination.
A sudden knock at the door woke him from his thoughts and he made his way warily to the front of the mansion. He gripped his sword tightly, though he suspected it was not likely that Danarius would exact social pleasantries before skinning the lyrium brands from his flesh. He inhaled deeply and swung the door open, the lyrium buzzing through the sinews of his arm.
But there was no one at the door apart from a neatly written scroll tied with the Amell crest.
Hawke.
He held the letter for a moment before shutting the door, admiring the writing on the envelope. He opened it to examine the letter inside despite it being pointless. He admired her swirling penmanship and delicate letters that she had formed on the paper. He wished he could read the words, he wished he could write as she did. What kind of man could not read? It was a task that an infant could do and yet it seemed impossible to him as he tried to guess the words that were scribbled so carelessly before him.
Slaves were not permitted to learn, but he was free now.
He thumbed the letter for a moment before throwing it on his bed and growling in frustration. His temper got the better of him and without even thinking he grabbed one of the rickety wooden chairs from the corner of the room and threw it at the fireplace with a heavy roar.
He was not a patient man and he had been waiting for her for weeks. And now she finally decided to speak to him again after their brief reunion from her months of absence and her chosen form of communication was one he could not understand. This woman would be the death of him over and over again but when it came to Hawke, he would always be a masochist.
He gritted his teeth in agitation for a moment whilst viewing the room in hopes of finding a full bottle of wine for him to consume. He refused to ask one of the other members of Hawke's party for aid in reading the letter. Too many people were untrustworthy or-in the dwarf's case- would spread rumours around the city.
The Hawke and her knife ear, he could almost hear the whispers now.
After confirming twice that there was no alcohol left in his bedroom, he stomped towards the front door. The dwarf's supply would certainly be depleted after tonight…
….
Fenris opened the door to the Hanged Man expecting to see the same view he had been witnessing for nearly two years. The pirate sitting on her rickety stool being charmed by some dim-witted fool who wanted to get in her drawers for the night. The dwarf sitting in the middle of the tavern, retelling a story whilst trying to distract the other players of the card game he was participating in so he could cheat. Occasionally there would be the blood mage or the abomination, too. But tonight he was shocked by the sight of the guard captain making her way through the drunken crowds of the tavern and into the dwarf's suite.
He viewed the crowds for a moment and noticed that neither the dwarf nor the pirate were in their usual positions. Something was occurring and Fenris guessed that they too received a letter. He stormed towards the dwarf's suite and barged in abruptly, shocking the pirate who had already unsheathed her daggers at his entrance.
"I'm guessing you've got a letter about Hawke, too, sweetness?" Isabela said, her voice amused by Fenris' brashness.
"Yes, it would seem so," Fenris replied dryly.
"Shit, Broody, I thought you'd have at least smiled! Hawke's coming back! Chuckles is meeting us here in three days!" Varric said exasperated at Fenris' reaction.
"What?" Fenris asked, shocked at the revelation. He surmised that this was part of the content of the letter Hawke had written to him, but it still shocked him nonetheless.
"It's not as simple as that, Varric," Aveline interrupted with a tone of disapproval, "I've spoken with Hawke and Leandra has insisted that she no longer put herself in danger because of what happened to Carver. Carver made her promise to take care of her mother so Hawke feels she is bound by duty to do as her mother asks. She is now Aria Amell, a noble of Hightown to the public."
Varric bowed his head in shame at the guard captain's mention of Carver Hawke and Fenris too felt the prickle of shame in his stomach. The pirate, however, laughed heartily at the guard captain's words.
"Out with it whore, tell us why you're laughing," the guard captain huffed at the pirate's amusement.
"Well, since you asked nicely, Lady Man-Hands. Hawke is coming to see us in three days, and why does Hawke normally come and see us? Because she has some job where we almost get killed or have to kill nearly everything to finish said job. Oh loves, don't be disheartened. You can put a girl in Hightown but she will always come back to Lowtown. She's getting the best of both worlds; she can be Hawke with us and a snooty noble with her mother. Plus, the men up in Hightown are delicious," Isabela explained, casting Fenris a wink that instantly made his stomach jolt in nervousness.
"And has she not thought her mother would suspect something? Leandra is not stupid," Aveline asked the question everyone else was thinking.
"Hawke's good at being sneaky; even I can't find her when she doesn't want to be found. Before you even start with that Freckles, I know where this is going to end. Hawke's mother is going to be furious and they're going to come to blows. Boo-hoo, big argument then they sort it," Isabela replied, messing with her bandana in her hair as if the conversation was so obvious that it bored her.
"Shit, Rivani, you know your stuff," Varric concluded, taking a swig of his ale and eyeing up Fenris' lack of beverage for a second. Fenris waited for a moment and then, as if they had been doing it all their lives, Varric launched a bottle of one Fenris' usual beverages at him which he caught with perfect timing. It seemed he had become accustomed to the dwarf and his ways, despite most of them being annoying.
"Trust me, I learnt from my mother. You and Fenris need to get a room Varric, it's becoming far too intense and I may have to join," Isabela purred, ignoring Aveline's snorts of disgust.
"So, we just wait for it all to fall apart? Hawke and her mother are already on tenterhooks, they may never forgive one another for this," Aveline worried out loud.
"Hawke knows her own mind. You and I both know she is not a woman easily swayed by others," Fenris added. And it was true, he knew that Hawke would not change her mind. At least her mother had not killed her like Hawke was sure she would.
He ignored the feeling in his stomach as he viewed the others in the room with a face masked of emotions. It was wrong that he felt anything for Hawke. Emotions were used as weapons, he should not even think of Hawke in that way. Whatever had been happening between them was dangerous, but he had not escaped his past life to live in a world in which he caged his own freedom to protect it. He deserved a small flicker of freedom.
His thoughts strayed down a bitter route and he thought of Hawke as she ignored the abomination's every advances. He did not think he could bear Hawke looking down on him with pity as she tried to kindly reject him like she did with the abomination.
"I'm going to tell Daisy, she'll be so happy Hawke's back. Maybe it'll get her away from that mirror…" Varric said as he scraped his chair away from the table, nodding his farewell even though they were all sitting in his dwelling.
"I feel Anders will need to know soon. My evening inspection starts in Darktown. I will tell him. I'll see you in three days," Aveline concluded, also taking her leave.
For a moment there was an awkward silence between himself and Isabela. He thumbed his bottle of wine and took a gulp before looking at the pirate, who was smiling at him almost smugly.
"What is it now, Isabela? You wish to guess the colour of my underclothes again? If I have lyrium on my manhood? Enhanced performance in the bedroom due to the ritual performed? It troubles me that you are just sitting there smiling," Fenris asked in an almost exhausted voice.
"You've really missed her haven't you, kitten?" Isabela asked but he knew it was rhetorical.
Fenris stayed silent for a moment unsure of how to reply to her question.
"It's alright, so have I. But not in the way you have, I think. Well, maybe in the way that you have but without the feelings and soppy stares," Isabela continued, her grin becoming wider as the blood rushed to Fenris' ears in embarrassment.
"Even if this were to be true -which it is not- why of all people would you care, Isabela? Should you not be concentrating on which fool will join you in your quarters tonight?" Fenris asked snidely, wanting to distract the pirate from her line of questioning.
"Ooh, that one nearly hurt. Keep trying love. I care because I know whatever the fuck this shit is between you two, Hawke reciprocates it. And Maker knows you two could use a good night in the sack, Hawke might not be a bitch and you might actually smile. And it would be rather delicious, wouldn't it?" Isabela replied, her smile widening as the blush on his ears intensified as if answering her question.
Isabela, for a moment, looked as if she was going to say something else but thought the better of it. Instead she slowly rose and sashayed towards the door and lingered there for a moment.
"You should tell her before someone else does."