Chapter 22: Oh, Mr. Jefferson
The Jefferson Memorial was a mere silhouette in the distance and it felt like I was leaving the vault all over again. Dad was in there somewhere and he could be dead.
"Charon?"
He stopped in front of me and looked over his shoulder. "Yes?"
"Do you think we can try the Jefferson Memorial again? My dad could be in danger or maybe he left a clue to where he is." As much I wanted to hate him, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
"Not in your condition." Charon's jaw clenched.
"Charon, please. I need to know if he's okay." I was growing desperate to see him again. For everything to go back to normal.
He sighed and looked behind me towards the memorial. "Fuck, fine," he grumbled.
We started back towards the memorial in silence. Charon kicked everything in his way. The only sounds were rocks crunching under our feet and the ripple of the murky river water.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked quietly.
He slid a hand down his face and sighed again. "No. I'm not mad. I just need to find somewhere to keep you safe while I go looking for him."
"What? I'm coming with you."
"No, you are not coming with me. If I am alone, they won't attack me. That's just how super mutants are. The second they see you, they'll be too trigger happy. Where do you suggest to hide while I am in?"
"Uh, I don't know. I guess I'll stay outside the door or something." I adjusted my pack on my shoulder.
"Absolutely not. They would be coming outside for patrols. They're stupid but they aren't that stupid. I'm being serious. Where will you hide?"
I drew back from his tone. He could be so sweet at times but then there were moments like in Anacostia. "I- I don't know. Where do you think?"
"God dammit. You know what? Just stand by that big statue thing." He pointed to the concrete man holding the large hoop.
I rubbed my arm and stared at the ground. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to do all the work."
"Yeah." He grunted. He hadn't looked at me since I asked if we could go back.
"I'm sorry," I could feel that familiar lump in my throat forming. I struggled to choked it down.
Why was he being so cold? He was sweet just a few minutes ago outside of the metro. I contemplated on asking him what was wrong but he pointed to the statue.
"Go." He snapped.
"But-"
"I said go." He finally looked back at me. I wish he hadn't. His eyes were full of pent up anger.
"Okay." I whispered and did what I was told.
He didn't look at me again before he opened the door to the memorial. I was alone for the first time in weeks and it felt like I had jumped in a bucket of ice cold water. Charon hadn't left my side since I bought the contract and now it seemed as if he wanted to get rid of me.
I looked at my surroundings. Rivet City was on my right, the memorial on my left, the river behind me, and some sort of fort in front of me. The air smelled like smoke and blood. The fort must be super mutant territory then.
I hugged myself in the suffocating openness of everything. I felt too vulnerable and it was like I was in the dark. I sat on the ground and scooted up to the statue. My back was covered and I just needed to watch the fort. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them.
I checked my Pipboy for the time. Charon had been gone for thirty minutes. It felt like he finally wanted to get rid of me and this was his golden ticket. If he wasn't out in the next ten minutes, I would go in. My legs ached to get moving.
I stood up and began walking around the perimeter of the statue with my hand sliding across the rough concrete. It had been untouched from the war. A virgin of the wastes. The thought made me giggle.
It felt good to laugh again. The weeks following the vault had taken its toll on me. I felt like I wasn't me anymore. At the same time, I feared I was who I am out here. I was changing. Or I wasn't changing at all.
My stomach clenched and my throat hurt. Bile was rising up and I doubled over. I dry heaved and fell on my knees. I crawled to the river on my hands and knees in pain. I gagged and I could feel it as I held my bangs and I threw up into the water.
Tears stung my eyes and my throat hurt. When I thought it was over, another wave of nausea flooded over my body and I was heaving again. I cried into the water and held my stomach.
"I. Want. My. Dad." I gasped in between sobs. My body shook with every word.
I held my head in my hands and curled on the ground. If I ever knew what hell was like, it was better than this. I could feel little rocks and gritty dirt in my hair scratching at my scalp. I smoothed it out and looked at my hand. Short pink strands clung to my fingers. Stress was finally wearing on me physically.
I uncurled and crawled up on shaky legs. I held my body and wiped at my mouth and eyes with my sleeve. I was really hungry but I would have to eat after I found Charon. I stumbled along the path to the front door of the memorial. I stood in front of the door with uncertainty and my hands on the handle. I pulled it open with a loud squeak and slipped in.
It was dark and cluttered. I stuck to the walls and near the filing cabinets. I couldn't hear anything so they must not have covered this area from when we cleared it out days ago. I poked my head around the corner and saw the room empty. My gun was drawn and I flicked the safety off.
I moved into the room and shoved myself back into the sandbags, sliding across them and rolled towards the wall. I rested a palm on the wall and held my gun up. I moved across the room and into the room with the chemistry sets. The walls and floor were blackened from the grenade that nearly killed me. A small smile tugged at my lips.
I stretched my neck to look into the halls leading to the basement. Everything seemed deserted. I stood up cautiously and headed towards the door. I heard grumbling and babbling of super mutants behind the door and flew back from the handle. I searched around frantically for cover and ducked under the nearest desk. The door opened and two super mutants filed out of the basement.
"Ghoul come in and take things." One mutant said.
"What do? We kill or leave be?"
"Uh, don't know. We no need things. He keep and leave." One paused for a second. "You smell that?"
"Something smell like... ooman!"
"We find you and eat you!" A loud crash sounded to the left of me.
One screamed and fell to the floor. The other roared and swung at something. Two gunshots rang out and I dared look over the desk. Charon was standing over the mutants and he was holding a knife in one hand and his shotgun in the other. He looked up and stopped when he made eye contact.
"What the fuck did I tell you? You only had one fucking thing to do and you can't even do that." he dropped his gun to his side and started towards me.
I scrambled backwards and hit the wall. I felt like I was back in the metro. He closed the distance between us and pulled me up by my arm.
"I'm sorry. You didn't come back and I was worried. I didn't know if you were hurt or if you just wanted to get rid of me." I tried to shake his grip but he tightened it.
He leaned in closely. "I told you to wait outside." His voice was low and deadly.
I shook my head and my voice cracked. "I'm sorry."
"Why don't you ever fucking listen?" He threw me back and I hit my head on the wall. "Why are you so fucking stubborn?"
I tried to get away and into the other room but he threw his arm out and caught me. "You aren't getting out of this."
"Charon, please don't hurt me. At least don't do anything to hurt the baby." I begged.
"What kind of monster do you fucking think I am?" He glared at me.
"The one who hurts me and makes me feel like I'm worth everything one moment and then treats me like I'm absolute garbage the next. I'm so fucking tired of getting thrown around and fucked over by everyone. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up." Tears began streaming down my face. Being pregnant and emotional sucks.
"Don't you start talking like that. You are not going to do some attention seeking bullshit to get everyone's sympathy because you were stupid and fucked every guy you saw." He stabbed his finger into my chest.
I clenched my teeth to the point of pain. "Is that what you think I'm doing? Is that why you're being such an asshole to me?"
"You wanna know why I'm so pissed?" He barked.
"Yeah, I want you to tell me why you're being such a dick today. You were fucking fine before we got out of the metros and I don't know what crawled up your ass after that."
"What crawled up my ass is the fact that you fucked Burke. And now you're pregnant and I'm left to take care of your sorry ass and that- that thing." He motioned towards my stomach with disgust.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" I spat through tight teeth.
"I'm the guy who has to act like a guard dog for a spoiled, pathetic, crying mess of a skank and now I have to be even more careful since she got herself knocked up the first night she got out of her comfy home in the vault."
I swallowed down my anger. "You don't care about me at all. It's all the fucking contract, isn't it."
"Just because you piss me off doesn't mean I don't care about you. I never said I didn't care about you." His face faltered.
"Don't you fucking give me that bullshit. You don't say those things to someone you care about." I turned to leave.
He reached out and his fingers brushed my wrist. "Wait."
I yanked away from him. "Don't you fucking touch me ever again."
He pulled back with a hurt expression. "You are angry. Rightfully so, but-"
"Stop. Right now. I don't want to hear it." I stormed out of the room and towards the entrance.
"Are you giving away my contract?" He asked from behind. I could hear the pain in his voice.
I stopped at the doorway and turned to see him halfway in the hall with a panicked expression.
"Unlike you, I actually care. I'm only keeping your contract now because I don't want someone who doesn't care about you at all to get their hands on it."