Regina woke at 7:13 am to the sound of her cell phone ringing. The noise was almost as annoying as the alarm she'd set for nine o'clock. When she rolled over and answered it, there were frantic words spoken on the other end. Emma sat up beside her lover and furrowed her brow as she saw the look of concern on the doctor's face.

"I'll be right there," Regina said into the receiver, then ended the call.

"Are you alright?" Emma asked, seeking panic on the woman's worried face.

"No," she said quickly. "One of my patients tried to kill themselves. She's in the hospital. I have to go, right now."

"Okay. Alright. I'll wait for you here?"

"Yeah. I don't know how long I'll be. I'm sorry."

Emma kissed the woman goodbye and watched helplessly as her lover hurried out the door, looking terrified.

Three or four hours later - Emma wasn't sure exactly how long it had been - the woman returned and slowly opened the front door, taking pained, cautious steps forward as she entered the living room with her head lowered. Emma looked up and was about to speak when she saw Regina shake her head.

"She didn't make it," Regina said, choking on the words as tears suddenly began to pour from her eyes. "This is all my fault. I should have known. I should have seen the signs. She never said anything... She never... I didn't think..."

"Oh, God," Emma breathed, taking her lover's hand and squeezing it. "I'm so sorry, Regina. But this isn't your fault. When someone wants to kill themselves, they're going to do it, no matter what anyone else says or does. When you're desperate enough, you find a way."

"I should have seen the signs. I should have had her checked into the hospital before this happened."

"Regina," Emma said, "you can't think like that. You're so compassionate and caring, and you can't blame yourself for this. I'm sure she kept her thoughts to herself on purpose. She didn't want you to stop her."

"But I should have!" Regina screamed. "I should have been able to stop her."

Emma said nothing to this, but instead wrapped her arms around the woman and let the woman's head fall onto her shoulder as she cried.

For the next three days, Regina was inconsolable. In fact, her fits of crying grew more and more frequent, until she finally decided to reschedule her appointments for the rest of the week. She was in no position to advise or support anyone else in her emotional state, and she knew it.

"I feel bad for putting them off," the doctor said anxiously to Emma.

"You have to take care of yourself first, or you won't be able to take care of anyone else, honey. It's better for them if you wait until you're emotionally stable to meet with them."

"I know you're right, I'm just worried about all of them, you know? What if something happens and they can't see me until it's too late?"

"Regina," Emma sighed, "you need to do what's best for you. You know how important emotional health is, and you know you can't be there for anyone else until you're stable yourself."

Regina sighed and held her head in her hands.

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Emma," she finally said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Therapy."

"What?"

"I don't think I can do therapy anymore. I don't think I can do this job."

"Regina! You're amazing at what you do. I know that first hand. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You kept me stable and gave me something to look forward to each week, even before I fell in love with you."

"No, I'm not. I'm a horrible psychologist. I let a girl die, Emma. I let her die."

"Regina, baby, please don't say that. This wasn't your fault. Your patients need you. They trust you. Don't give up on them."

"They'll be better off with someone else."

"No. That's just not true."

"It is true."

"Stop it! You're depressed. That's okay. But you can't give up your life's calling just because you're hurt and discouraged. This is all the more reason to stick with it and be there for your patients. They need you, Regina."

Another fit of tears followed, and this time Regina sobbed until she was too exhausted to cry anymore. Emma held her until the tears stopped. When the woman finally did stop crying, she lifted her head from Emma's shoulder and looked into the girl's eyes.

"Tell me what you see in me," Regina said.

"Everything. Hope, compassion, love. You're a wonderful person, Regina. Everyone you know is lucky to have you in their lives, including me."

"How can I go on after this? How can I pretend to be a competent therapist when I let this happen?"

"You can't give up, Regina. You need to feel your obligation to your patients. This isn't just about you. None of this was your fault, and the worst thing you could do right now is give up on the patients you care so much for."

Regina sighed and slowly nodded her head, but still unsure of herself and of her lover's words.

"I believe in you," Emma said softly, stroking the woman's hair. "I know you can pull through this."

Regina nodded again and leaned back against the couch, shutting her eyes, and replied, "I just want to sleep forever."

"I know that feeling," Emma told her, kissing her cheek. "I felt that way my whole life. But you know what? I pulled through it. Mostly because of you."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you gave me hope. You helped me believe in myself when no one else in my life believed in me."

"I believe in you."

"And I believe in you. So don't give up."

Finally, Regina nodded once more.