A/N IDK I always envisioned Kuzuryu to be unnecessarily poetic, or at least brooding.

III. Kuzuryu — Unforgivable

"Unforgivable, unforgivable, unforgivable," I chanted to myself, almost trance-like. I've been repeating myself for so long that my tongue went numb, and to the words I have been tirelessly reciting, I became numb.

That nerve, that nerve that nerve that nerve that nerve that nerve that nerve that nerve that nerve. What nerve he had, that Reserve Course boy, who wasn't worth a dime to the ever-growing Kuzuryu Clan and by extension to me, who was simply an inconsequential speck just like the other pawns.

Why did his words move me so much? How did his shameless embrace, his casual invasion of privacy, have such a large effect on me, someone who stood legions above him, someone whose mind was set on bigger and greater things? I wanted to be in the Main Course, I wanted to be in it so much that it hurt. My near-confirmed expulsion condemned me to be untalented scum for eternity, someone unfit to stand with my brother.

Did I appear weak? Was I so pitiful that a person of his caliber felt compelled to cheer me up, to latch his despicable arms around me, to drag me down to the same level as he? The scary part was that he did manage to comfort me, in more ways than one. Somehow I became content with mediocrity. I just didn't want to be left behind; he promised I could keep up with my brother and inspired hope in a future outside the Main Course, hope that wasn't there before. Somehow he elevated himself in my mind, seemingly becoming a person I could rely on, whose shoulder to lean on, with whom I could continue living on. How I was that gullible terrified me.

What was I saying? What was wrong with me? I was forsaking the meaning of my existence, forsaking my duty as the yakuza's daughter, forsaking my devotion to my brother.

"Unforgivable, Unforgivable."

Sato was the one to blame.

It wasn't my fault. She wanted to kill me. I had been in enough gang fights to recognize that killing intent anywhere. Her eyes and her body language revealed everything. She had the eyes of a wild animal, her speech was garbled and unhinged, and she most definitely had a weapon on her that she was reaching for.

I did what I had to, all in self-defense. I couldn't die there, when my brother needed me at his side. That was my only purpose in life.

In a normal school, any violence could be covered up with of a snap of my dad's fingers. His influence had all the school administrators quaking in their boots. I could get away with everything, and I had all the teachers wrapped up around my finger. The pace of the class was dictated by me. They rushed to answer all my questions, clear up any confusion, and sped past content that I already understood.

But this was Hope's Peak Academy, and I wasn't one of their prized students. They had enough influence to deter even my father's aggression. I didn't want to ruin Fuyuhiko's prospects at Hope's Peak either.

I knew, deep inside, that everything up to this point was my fault. If I was so set on being with my brother for eternity, I shouldn't have jeopardized my chances. I provoked Sato. At her boiling point, I didn't run; my pride didn't let me. When I pinned her on the ground, I didn't stop. I wanted to demolish her face, and break all her bones for trying to challenge me. So I had it coming.

Being spoiled all my life, I lived without fear of repercussions. I even understood that I was privileged. And yet, it was too much of a change to go from being top of the class to an object of contempt, a glorified serf for Hope's Peak.

Hinata saved me didn't he? I was probably going to isolate myself, and let my emotions ferment until I couldn't contain them. I was going to wallow in the depths of despair and self-pity...

Ha, that nobody saving me, I scoffed at the idea. How could I even let that thought run through my head? What was I going to do now? How could I even face my brother?

"Unforgivable, Unforgivable." it was my voice, but I couldn't feel my lips moving.

The unforgivable one was me.

Having nothing to do and slightly curious, I decided to look into Hinata. He promised me that my life wasn't over. I would just have to hold him to that. Let him take responsibility for making a reckless promise like that to me.

I pulled out my phone. Punching in the numbers was second nature to me. Hardly a ring passed before it was answered on the other end.

"Hey, Dad," I said casually. I'm sure he knew I wanted something; the only reason I'd contact him was for a favor. "I want someone to trail a classmate of mine, Hajime Hinata." I read off the school's address and his dormitory number.

There was a brief pause, before a gruff voice greeted my ears.

"Hope's Peak Academy security is not easy to breach, especially under such a short notice… you know the only person I could ask is Peko, whom you could have easily asked yourself."

I despised Peko, and my father knew that. Why was he being so unreasonable? Yet, at this point, I was unusually desperate enough to ask for favors from her. "… I need to know about him, where he lives, what school he went to before Hope's Peak, and as much personal information as possible. Please relay my orders to her."

A grunt of affirmation.

"Also," I said, trying not to let any of my emotions seep through, "I'm quitting Hope's Peak Academy. I'll let you know tomorrow which school I wish to transfer to." I didn't want to reveal the details about the incident with Sato, because if he knew, it would be problematic and at the expense of Fuyuhiko.

"WHAT?" My father, who was for the most part cold and unemotional, bellowed through the phone, evidently shocked. "YOU'RE QUITTING?"

"Why are you so surprised? You know I'm a quitter. When something bores me, I just quit… And you call yourself my dad."

My father sighed and in a meeker voice replied, "but not when you're passionate about something. And you seemed so... excited to go to the same school as Fuyuhiko."

"Bye," I said hanging up before he could return the gesture.

Putting the phone down, I realized how tired I was.

I should go to sleep. There was nothing to do anyway. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts.

I closed my eyes.

I dreamed about Hinata, which is to say I had a nightmare. I had no agency in my dream, someone else was controlling my movements and I was just along for the ride.

It was late into the day. The sky was red. I was standing at the gate of Hope's Peak Academy, waiting, when I saw someone pass by. He was hot. The sleeves of his uniform couldn't hide his bulging muscles and his face was well-structured. He had a nice sharp chin, his eyes were undeniably attractive, alluring, mysterious, and his lips looked so soft.

"Hi-na-ta," I called to him cheerfully, emphatically enunciating every syllable. Apparently, it was Hinata, though he looked nothing like his real life counterpart. "Jeez, you made me wait for soooooooo long. I missed you." I felt myself pouting.

He turned and winked at me seductively. This dream was already uncomfortable enough. With every ounce of might, I tried to resist the inevitable. Hinata's arms were already coming. They were wrapping around my back. I felt myself snuggle against his firm chest. It was so comfortable… I felt so secure…

"NO!" I shouted, my body lunging forward. I was in my own bed and straddling my pillow. Cold sweat dripped from my forehead. I checked my clock. 5:00 AM.

"Did you have a good dream?" Peko asked cautiously.

"No, it was horrible." I replied as a matter of course. Upon realizing I wasn't alone in my room. I turned to face her.

Her face was red in embarrassment, and I was horrified. It took a lot to alter Peko's usual stoic expression. Was talking in my sleep? I quickly let go of the pillow I was holding.

"I gathered some intel on…"she began, pausing unnaturally. "…Hinata as per your request."

"Hinata Hajime— 17 year old male born on January 1, Blood Type A…" Peko continued to monotonously describe various characteristics of Hinata that I, for the most part, didn't care for.

"Kodaka High School… Chiba Prefacture… " For some reason, the name of his former school and where he lived stuck out. I heard of Kodaka High before and I had considered going… it was a good school, yet something was strange. Kodaka High was located far from where he lived and fairly close to Hope's Peak Academy. He had no reason to venture so far from his parents if all he wanted was to attend a good school, as Chiba Prefecture was home to plenty of renowned schools.

Maybe he lived with a relative or something but otherwise, I could only conclude that Hinata had a bad relationship with his parents and chose to live far from them. Considering Hinata's pride and slight superior complex, there was no way he could show his face ever again at Kodaka High School. I ran through a list of nationally-ranked schools that I knew of outside of Chiba Prefacture. It was futile: no matter how smart I was, there was no way I could deduce which school he was going to out of hundreds.

"There's also this." Peko said, pulling me out of my thoughts. She took out a black envelope, with Hinata's name on it inscribed in gold, and I reached for it with as little enthusiasm as possible. Inside was a white and neatly folded letter directed at him. I was curious as to how Peko got her hands on this envelope, but that wasn't important now.

"Dear Hajime Hinata… after much review and consideration, you have been cordially invited to attend Hope High School… enclosed are a map and instructions for your first day."

They were inside the envelope. As if she could read my mind, Peko said, "Don't worry. They are only copies." I nearly forgot. While the Reserve Course was provided crappy black and white copy machines, the Main Course had access to revolutionary high-tech contraptions that were capable of copying every single detail of a page to the type of material used.

"Alright, you can go now." Peko gave me a slight bow before leaving my dorm. Now, all there was left to do was to call my father to be admitted to Hope High School.

It was scary how I decided to attend the same school as Hinata without even thinking about it.

Koichi Karasuma. From the moment I met him, he ticked me off. Drenched in sweat, out of breath, and somehow managing to be annoying as hell, he gave me a comprehensive tour of the campus, making sure to narrate whatever bullshit story he had about the school in painstaking detail.

I despised him so much, and I didn't mince my words. Yet, he acted like he couldn't hear me or register my annoyance with him and continued to speak cheerily about Hope High.

By the time he left, it was already 8:00 AM…

Using the copied map Peko gave me, I made my way to the central quad. Why was I so excited..? Seeing the main building, the fountain, and the loud nobodies didn't slow my pounding heartbeat…why did I feel so anxious..?

I was disappointed to learn it was because of Hinata. While staring at the bizarre fountain, I saw him struggling to escape the crowd of students. I sighed. Perhaps, talking with him again would clear things up.

Oh, he saw me eyeing him. He was walking toward me.

...

...

...

I was slightly peeved that Hinata did not bother to catch up to me, and instead followed me into the building. Well, that was fine too.

I could almost die of embarrassment. While talking to him, I was reminded incessantly about the dream I had yesterday.

"Hi-na-ta…" that was how I said his name. I stretched it out just like I had done in my dream, and upon realizing that, I was horrified. My irritation at his dream-self was redirected onto him and probably unjustly so.

…Perhaps, I overstepped my bounds when he pulled out his phone, but I was genuinely curious. Was he trying to give me the impression that he had friends?

A preposterous idea, but I entertained it anyway and looked over his shoulder. When he lashed out at me, for some reason, I felt fear, even though I did not feel threatened physically… It was quite a shock to me, and I was disgusted with myself.

At least he apologized. My pride would have crumpled if he hadn't. In any case, for now, I shouldn't act so familiar with him. Say what you like about Hinata; he was definitely not a pushover.

We weren't friends. I don't have friends, after all.

"Hey guys, wait outside for just a moment. I'll give you the signal to enter."

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize we were at out classroom already. I caught a quick glance of the teacher before he closed the door behind him. He had gray silky hair and seemed pretty young, but his eyes… they were gold and off-putting.

Through the small window of the beige colored door, I could see the teacher emphatically speaking to his students. I assumed he was giving some background on us, but he seemed way too into it. "Anyway," he said, the sound of his voice becoming clearer as he opened the door, "Please give a round of applause to your new classmates.

"Introduce yourselves please," he whispered to us as we passed him.

The classroom was cold and foreign, partly due to the hostile stares of my new classmates and partly because the A/C didn't seem to be working. I was used to being universally hated the moment I opened my mouth, but receiving this treatment prior to that was quite a surprise.

"Hello, I am Natsumi Kuzuryu." Tired from the events that passed during the day, I just left it at that. They detested me enough already, and I didn't particularly want to gloat about my own superiority.

Silence. I guess it was customary for one to perhaps talk about his or her interests, hobbies, or personality, but I really didn't see the need to share with the class. I glanced at Hinata to indicate it was his turn.

"Hello everyone, I am Hajime Hinata." Just like me, he didn't add any unnecessary fluff to his introduction, evidently much to the teacher's surprise and disappointment.

"Welcome, Hinata and Kuzuryu to your new class. I am your teacher, Mr. Yamaguchi." As if to demonstrate how a real introduction was supposed to go, he deliberately emphasized his next few sentences. "For fun, I really enjoy reading literature, looking into new scientific discoveries, and talking with my students. I recently married my childhood sweetheart and we are expecting a child soon. My favorite color is blue." If he wanted to establish how boring his life was, he would succeed with flying colors.

Looking at our disinterested faces, the teacher returned to the matter at hand.

"Hinata, you can take the seat next to the window in the third row, and Kuzuryu, you can have seat right next to him on the right."

As Hinata and I made our way to our new seats, someone's hand rose. "Isn't the window seat occupied by Yamazakura..?"

Hinata stopped suddenly and I almost ran into him.

"What are you doing dumbass?" I whispered at him, annoyed.

Behind me, I heard the teacher respond. "Oh, Yamazakura… he dropped out just yesterday. It was pretty abrupt. He wasn't performing too badly."

Hinata finally continued walking and we both seated ourselves. I was grateful to sit next to him. Out of everyone in the classroom... no, out of everyone I knew, outside my family, he intrigued me the most.

"Hey, Kuzuryu…"

It was Hinata's voice. I was surprised. He hadn't exchanged a word with me since school started, and hadn't looked particularly eager to.

"Your introduction was far less abrasive this time." Hinata showed me a small smile before turning to face the board. It was nice, his smile, but he was definitely forcing it… I didn't want to be pitied.

As far as I knew, Mr. Yamaguchi did not know about my yakuza background, which was quite unusual. In my previous schools, the school administrators would rush to warn every faculty member... Well, Hope's High School was a weird school.

Yet, for some reason, I felt grateful of the fact. It was easier for me to avert my eyes from my failure at Hope's Peak Academy when treated as a normal student. Of course, I wasn't giving up. I just… needed a break.

School dragged on and on. I was awoken multiple times by nearly every teacher throughout the day. Using my family name as leverage over my teachers did not seem like a bad idea, after all…

Though I sat next to Hinata, we did not talk at all. He was frustratingly diligent with his studies, especially now that he was no longer distracted by the looming Main Course building. I hoped to talk a bit after school, but as soon as the bell rang, he was out the door.

Why was I even following a guy like him around..? It made no sense in retrospect. How could he live up to his promise… how could I remain a Kuzuryu if I didn't deserve it?

Perhaps, normalcy was fine for someone like Hinata, but for someone like me who is responsible for the lives of thousands of clans members, who needs to relieve a loved one of some of his burden, I couldn't afford to grow complacent… right?

To even it question it was unforgivable.

A bit of a slow chapter, but it's my longest yet. I haven't really decided on a set schedule to release chapters, but it would probably be once a week.