Chapter 27: Fuck Off, Dad

A month past in Megaton. The days were always filled with morning sickness and Charon trying to take care of me. I don't know why they call it morning sickness when you aren't just sick in the mornings. You're sick at any given moment.

Sometimes during those few weeks in the house, I wondered if the only reason Charon tried so hard to take care of me was because he just wanted to make up for the previous anger issues. His painful grabbing and throwing me against walls was replaced by all-too-gentle touches and heated kisses.

I had tried to ask him about it but he only blew off the question and changed the subject. He said he didn't want to think about those moments. "I wasn't myself" was all he would say when the topic came up.

I noticed the signs of pregnancy in those weeks, too. I had a weird craving at odd hours of the night for snack cakes soaked in Nuka-Cola. Charon said it was natural to have strange cravings and he would always manage to get them for me no matter the availability. Whether it was the baby or the snack cakes, there was no doubt I was getting bigger. It wasn't to the point where I couldn't fit into my pants, but they were getting a little tight.

"Charon?" I asked from the sofa in the living room.

His head poked out from around the kitchen corner. "Yes?"

I pulled my legs under me and leaned my face on my fist. "I think I want to listen to those holotapes now."

The rest of him appeared and he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms with a concerned expression. "Are you certain?"

"Yeah. Do you remember where you put them? I think they should still be in your bag."

He pushed off the wall and headed upstairs. "I think so."

I scratched Dogmeat behind the ear as I waited for Charon to come back downstairs. Dogmeat huffed and rolled onto his back. I smiled, rubbing his chest.

Charon stomped down the stairs and when I looked up, he was carrying the ripping bag he had used before. He dropped it gently by my feet and sat down on the sofa.

I dug through the front pouch and my fingers grazed plastic. I reached in deeper and felt many more.

"He really left a trail this time." I muttered.

"Yeah, it was a huge bitch getting them all. I was thorough at least." Charon stretched with a groan, bringing his arm over my shoulders.

I pulled each tape out individually and organized them by number with the tape labeled "Better Days" on the top. I popped Better Days into my Pipboy and turned the dials until I got to the display screen. I pressed the play button.

A woman's voice filled the once quiet room."...that batch of tests was inconclusive, but Madison and I are convinced it's a problem with the secondary filtration system." Her voice was sweet and smooth, calming. I paused the tape.

"This must be my mother's voice." I whispered.

Charon started smoothing my hair back and kissed my temple. "You'll get through this. Do it for him."

I let out a shaky sigh and pressed play.

"We're going to re-calibrate the equipment and try again tomorrow, so that... James, please, I'm trying to work. Now's not the time... So that's the next step. Assuming we get the results we need, we'll move on to... James! Stop! I need to finish these notes..."

I paused it again. "Charon, I really don't want to hear my dad trying to fuck my mom."

"I would sincerely hope they stopped recording before anything actually happens."

I pressed play cautiously, my finger hovering over the button to pause it quickly.

"We'll move on to diagnosing the issues with the radiation dampeners. That should... Ow! James! Now? We really shouldn't... " Mom laughed and the tape ended with a click.

"Oh thank fuck that's over." I let out a breath I was subconsciously holding.

"Just put in the next one."

I ejected the holotape and put in the first Project Purity note.

It was Dad's voice this time. "We're back at work after a full week of delays. The Brotherhood Soldiers were able to repair the sentry guns, much to my relief."

I paused the tape. "He never once mentioned anything about Project Purity or the Brotherhood. It's like he didn't trust me or something."

Charon brushed my bangs out of my face. "That's not what he was thinking. I know you very well. You are stubborn, and once you get something in your mind, you are very headstrong about it. Nothing will stop you. He knew you would be interested in leaving the vault, so he never mentioned the outside. Just press play. Stop pausing them."

I huffed and did as told.

"I know Madison isn't comfortable having them here, but there's no denying that we'd be lost without them. We're still waiting on the full analysis of the last three small-scale purification tests.
Catherine hasn't been feeling well, and it's slowing down our research. I don't mind, but I can tell it's bothering some of the others."

"I'm slowing things down, too. Aren't I?" I sighed. "I know you never want to be locked up like you were in the Ninth Circle, but I don't know how I'll be able to stay safe out there."

"Do not think such things. You are right to stay here. This is what's best for the baby and you need to put the child before yourself. You are a mother and you are just going with your instincts."

I fought the urge to rub my growing stomach. Just when I thought I couldn't fight back any longer, Charon's thumb began rubbing small circles over my bell button. I glared down at the expanding belly.

"I'm getting fat." I said with a frown.

"And you are getting more beautiful every day. Stop worrying so much about your looks." He leaned forward and pressed his chapped lips to mine.

"I know. I know. I just," I paused and bit my lip. "I'm going to get really fat and you won't want me."

Charon smiled. "Nonsense. You will always be the highlight of my life. It's a pretty shitty life, but you make it bearable."

"You can be the sweetest person when you want to be. You aren't fooling me with that 'asshole attitude.'" I tapped him on the chin.

He grabbed my wrist. A gasp slipped my lips and I looked up at him, looking for explanation. I was met with a lustful haze. My breath caught in my throat, nothing would come out. We sat in heated tension for what seemed like hours before he spoke.

"Just start the next tape." He said, releasing my wrist.

I couldn't get anything out, so I just nodded. The holotape ejected and I replaced it with the next. After that one finished, I just replaced it and repeated until all the tapes were in a messy stack on the floor.

"He's in another fucking vault. Unbelievable." I kicked the stack and the tapes scattered. Dogmeat scurried behind the couch.

"We don't have to go immediately if you don't want."

I put in the coordinates Dad listed in the last tape and scrolled through the map. He was somewhere... pretty far away. I slammed my head on the arm of the couch. I only moved back when I felt Charon touch my arm.

"I can go for you." His voice was pleading.

"Absolutely not."

"Why not? You are my emp-"

"Because we're leaving tomorrow."