Chapter 2
Rey inhaled slowly, held it for approximately seven seconds, then blew it out, relieved that it did absolutely nothing to ease the searing pain in her hand. Finn would owe her when he landed, for saying it was the "alternative to bacta fluid." She opened and closed her fist, finding some relief in the twinging and sighed. This wasn't going to go away without some sort of explanation.
"Scars of war?" A scratchy voice rasped in her ear.
Rey jumped, thrusting her hand to her side as she turned to face Maz Kanata, eye to beady eye. "Didn't see you there," Rey told her, shuffling away to allow the tiny woman to sit down on the supply crate next to her.
"Of course not," Maz told her, walking about the crate until she faced her completely. "You wouldn't have shown that wound if you had thought you would be seen." She pointed an orange finger to Rey's badly hidden limb. "May I?"
Reluctant, Rey inhaled before offering her hand to the wizened alien. Maz cupped Rey's hand in hers, pulling down her bulbous spectacles to examine the injury. Suddenly, she looked up at Rey. "What happened?"
"The exhaust from my lightsaber," Rey muttered. "It's too unstable, it escapes from a crack that no matter how much I try, I cannot fix it."
Maz frowned, "How has your hand not fallen off from such a method?"
"I use the Force." She told her, "I bend the laser away from my skin so really what is doing the damage is the heat."
"My child," Maz told her, taking a seat, "That lightsaber is damaged beyond repair. You need another one."
Rey recoiled her hand. "There aren't anymore."
"Luke Skywalker, he didn't-"
"Luke didn't teach me anything!" Rey spat, "He showed me how the Force worked long enough to realize that I had the same raw strength as Ben Solo and that was it! Nothing more." She exhaled, shame settling over her shoulders for losing her temper. "I'm sorry, but there is one other lightsaber in existence." She withdrew her lightsaber from her side, showing Maz the welded band around it that held the thing together. "Where did you get it, anyway?"
Maz looked from the silver to Rey. "Ben left it behind."
Rey leaned away, "Ben… came here?"
She nodded slowly, her small frame wilting with a memory too vivid to forget. "He came here with the Knights of Ren shortly after he destroyed the New Jedi Temple. Although I didn't know it at the time. He walked up those steps, and I knew something terrible had happened. To come to me rather than his own family…" She shivered, her eyes moving to Rey's knees. "I was so uncertain of what to do; he was so shaken and so guarded by those black goons of his." Her look hardened, and she continued, "They moved like a pack of wolves, no one was left alone for long before the rest of the pack joined him. I couldn't talk to Ben alone for very long. I had known him since he was a boy, but the person who moved with these boys… I couldn't recognize him." She trailed off, her look tightening Rey's chest the longer she watched her. "I finally called Han and Leia, but that night they had all left and killed a pilot for his ship. In Ben's room, the only thing left of that sweet little boy I knew was that lightsaber." She pointed to it, making the sight of the melted silver a bit sadder in Rey's mind.
"It really was Ben's," Rey breathed.
"Yes, a gift from his uncle to remind him of the legacy of Jedi that came before him." Maz huffed, rubbing a hand beneath her spectacles. "Kyber crystals."
"What?" Rey asked, the words familiar.
"Kyber crystals are what power the lightsaber. You must have seen it when you picked up the pieces?"
Rey nodded. "I did, I used vortha cement to bind them together."
Maz shot her a look that made Rey shrink away with embarrassment. "My child, with a lightsaber, you will have to use vortha cement every ten seconds to keep it on, let alone working."
"Mine, sputters."
Maz's eyes doubled, "That means the crystals are ready to explode."
"Oh," Rey replied, looking down at her lightsaber like it was a grenade.
A blast of air rustled Rey's hair, calling hers and Maz's attention. A smile smacked Rey's face and she jumped to her feet, her twinging hand forgotten and the makeshift lightsaber thoughtlessly attached to her belt once more. She jogged against the breeze, the bright colors of BB-8 catching her eye as he and Poe emerged from the line of captured Storm Troopers on her left.
"Ready to go home?" Poe grinned, merely striding next to her.
"Always!" She laughed, seeing the landing cruiser of the Protestor's crew descend straight down in a whoosh of warm air.
The beige ship landed, and the safe bay doors slid open, revealing Captain Finn and Sergeant Major Rose jittering with the anticipation of seeing their friends once again. The moment Finn bounded off the ship, Rey was shooting her arms around his neck. "You did it!" He cheered, holding her just as tightly.
"It was the Force!" She told him, leaning away to look at him.
"Nah-uh," Finn contradicted, "There's only one person in this galaxy that could have had the guts to do that." Holding her waist, he turned back to the Rebels that began making their way out of the cruiser, "Let's hear it for Captain Rey!"
The Rebels let out a deafening cry of praise that it gathered the attention of the other pilots who cried out in the same returning glee whether or not they were aware of why they were cheering. Rey stood amongst it all, grinning until her face hurt at the praise lauded upon her. When they were finished she was certain that her face was apple red, and hid it in Finn's shoulder though her smile could have powered cities.
"Come on," Finn joked, lifting his shoulder until she faced him. "You deserve to be loved by the universe."
She studied him, admiring how his eyes glittered like shifting sands only when he looked at her. His look warmed her, and jolted her heart unlike anything she had felt before. But, there was a hesitation that always settled when she realized these things, like second guessing jumping into a pool of water. This pause always started in her knees, then moved to her feet that always planted themselves, and pulled her body away from him until the glitter faded and he rearranged his features with a small, expectant confusion.
"Um," He began, looking away, "Lieutenant Connix said that the brass of the First Order was really upset that this dreadnought was lost."
Rey nodded, turning towards the half triangle hiding a great portion of the horizon half a mile away. "I wondered why they would sink a ship like this with almost a complete crew."
"Captain Rey," A brassy, eloquent voice called. They turned and saw the shiny golden body of C-3PO hurriedly waddle to them. "Captain, I must say it is quite unorthodox to call you by your rank and given name."
"You know Finn and I don't have last names, Threepio." Rey chided him.
"Nevertheless, I find it quite unsettling."
"What is it, Threepio?" Finn asked, shifting his weight.
"Ah, yes, Commander Dameron has received distressing news. He would like the entire fleet excluding those guarding the prisoners, to come at once to the drinking establishment of Maz Kanata."
Finn and Rey looked to each other, ice settling into the pits of their stomachs. "I'll tell the east pilots." Rey told him.
"I'll tell the rebel officers." Finn replied.
"Oh splendid," C-3PO twitched. "I shall gather the droids together and see what we might uncover whilst you and the rest are away."
Rey stood shoulder to shoulder with Finn, Rose squeezing through the throng of Rebels to stand next to her. "What's going on?" Rey asked her.
Rose lifted her shoulders, "I don't know, everything appeared fine when we left the ship."
"Do you feel anything in the Force?" Rose asked, her eyes alighting as they usually did when anything Jedi related happened around Rey.
Rey let her eyes drift, her body stilling as the murmur of voices overlapped around her. Anxiety among the Rebels, yes. She closed her eyes, feeling the rock as it hummed with feet standing upon it and ants as they crawled with annoyance to evade those feet. Rey searched among the crowd, looking for Kaydel Connix and even Poe.
"It's not good," She whispered, knowing Rose could hear her. "There's fear… and oh!" She gasped, shifting her weight and opening her eyes.
"What?" Rose urged, Finn now looking at them with curiosity.
"Sorrow," Rey told them. "A great sorrow."
The babble of small talk began to fade and they turned, seeing Poe rub Connix's arm and whisper to her gently. Poe, removed of his flight suit and wearing only a simple set of trousers, shirt, and clean brown jacket, jumped onto a flat rock that served as the secondary, courtyard bar whilst the indoor one went through repairs after what Maz described was a "very amusing game of cards." The babble of nervous chatter ceased, all eyes turned towards their commander.
Rey gasped, watching tears glide down Connix's face, her shoulders almost entities unto themselves as they shook.
"I, ugh, I don't know how to say this." Poe began, fiddling with his hands. "This information was told to me as soon as the Protestor's crew was reunited, and our mission of bringing down the dreadnought Vulture was completed." He gestured to the ship that looked awash with a painter's discarded purple, orange, and even yellow. A few of the pilots whooped at the sight of it, but Poe's distraught face did not permit for the joviality to catch fire.
He continued, "There were a number of brave pilots lost in that last battle, and a number of standouts here today who, you all know about." He gestured his gaze at Rey, but there was no joyous clamor this time. Poe inhaled and exhaled, dropping his shoulders and spreading his hands in defeat. "I'm just going to say it. General Leia Organa, our general, known to a handful as…" His voice broke, "Princess… is dead."
A shocked gasp echoed throughout the crowd. Rey felt her knees jell and she stumbled where she stood, her heart aching so terribly it was as though she was feeling for two.
"Rey, what's happening?" Finn asked, his body turning to her. "Are you alright?"
She pressed a palm to her chest, inhaling deeply. From the recesses of her mind, she saw Ben doing likewise in his bedchamber, eyes wide and sweat dotting his forehead. A massive pale palm sliding over his chest. His fingers, she could almost feel his fingers upon her chest as it heaved; as though distance was only a matter of breathing.
Finn dropped to his knees, his face covering Ben's image. "Rey? Can you hear me?"
"Rey?" Rose cried, tears slipping despite her present worry.
"I felt something like this before," Rey breathed, pulling herself into a semblance of a standing position. "I felt it some time ago…"
Poe continued, watching as his fleet dismayed before him, "The truth that was told to me about an hour ago is this: the general died some time ago. Her last wishes were that we," He spread his arms out in gesture to the hundred or so rebels before him, "Would take down the Vulture and take from it valuable information that the First Order would kill to keep from us. Given the nature of our capture of the dreadnought, I'd say we completed that mission." A faint smile touched his lips. Rey straightened slowly, her heart beating on it's own once more.
"We will return to the Hosnian system where the body of our beloved general has been waiting. She left a will and testament," Poe turned to Lieutenant Connix whose face was awash with tears, and took from her a holopad and tapped on it, "It is available for all to see, though I cannot guarantee those of you that have been named that you'll get anything given the battle of Hoth last spring taking out the general's ship." He hesitated, tapping his fingers slowly on the surface of the holopad. "Another last request of the general's was that she would be buried on Naboo next to her birth mother's grave with…" His eyes met Rey's for a second, "With certain dignitaries present."
A hush fell once more over the uneasy crowd. Naboo was First Order territory, a new acquisition of about a year old, but quickly became the pride of the empire. Kylo Ren's empire. Rey swallowed, Leia wanted her son at her funeral.
"I highly doubt that this last request will be fulfilled given the circumstances." He continued, his voice breaking. "I know we celebrated a great victory today, so let's take time to recognize that, as well as reflect back on the life of…" He mashed his lips and bobbed his head, a sniff of sorrow echoing throughout the fleet. "Of Leia." He finished.
Rey blinked, clumps of moisture sticking to her eyelashes. Slowly, she stepped forward, removing her lightsaber from her belt. She grabbed the Force, remembering with it the love she felt whenever she had a quiet moment with General Organa. She ignited the lightsaber, the pale blue cutting against the grey of Maz's rubble castle and pub.
"For Leia!" Rey cried, tears spilling as she lifted her lightsaber above her head.
Shouts of "Leia!" resounded throughout the space, followed by rebels thrusting a single forefinger in the air.
Tears seeped down Poe's face, his eyes at once meeting Rey's. They were a ragtag bunch, some of them not even knowing where they were born or of whom they came from. But in that moment, they were all one. For Leia, they were one.
Revels were short that night. No one seemed in the spirit to celebrate their immense victory, though many personally came up to Rey and congratulated her. Rey herself did not drink any alcoholic beverage offered to her, feigning some excuse to turn away from it. No one bothered her about it this night, leaving Rey to wander back to her cramped little bunk that she shared with Rose.
She flopped onto her bed, first checking her hand to ensure that it hadn't started bleeding again (it hadn't, but the gauze had small black flakes from where she became too emotional to use the Force), and reached under her bed for her food drawer. Finn and Poe had told her separately that she didn't need to horde food in her quarters, that it would be distributed evenly so long as there was supplies. But, some of the crew knew that she always had bread and semi-fresh fruit and would come begging for a quick bite before their shift or in case supplies were shorter on this system than the last one.
She pulled out a firmer round of bread and bit into it. It was stale, the flavor not the best it might have been three days ago. Rey ate it anyway, gulping water to shove the sticky muck down her throat. She could not get over the feeling of two hearts breaking at the news of General Organa's death, nor of the sight of Ben sitting bolt upright in bed, feeling the same as she did. Most pressing into her mind was the question of whether Ben would even care if he was told that his mother was dead.
Yes, Rey thought. He would care.
But would he, though? A tiny voice in her mind pressed. How can you be certain?
Rey grunted and rolled her eyes, moving to sit upright at the edge of her bed, then closed her eyes. She reached out, feeling the Force as it surged through all that was around her: the control panels on her door, the sorrow in a pilot's body over a lost friend, the bubbles in her canteen, and the ceaseless anxiety stirred by movement in the command center. She inhaled, reaching out with the Force across the galaxy. Families, the First Order, Ach-To, a planet with blooming daffodils. Then, a glowing beacon of the Force, pulsing darkness, anger, and now an intense sorrow.
"Ben?" She whispered.
She pictured him, remembering his face when she came to him voluntarily years ago, seeing him receive her in her little Millennium Falcon escape pod. Back when she was certain that he would answer her call to return to the light. He had looked at her with such calm, such expectancy. He was conflicted then, she felt it like she felt the fabric of her pants beneath her fingers now.
"I have nothing to say to you." His voice growled.
Rey turned to her right, seeing his back to her, shoulders hunched. He must have truly been in his own chambers for he was not wearing his cloak or his top robe but rather a black undershirt and sleeping trousers without his boots and appeared to be… worn, exhausted even.
"You've felt a disturbance in the Force," Rey told him, her voice soft and level. "Today, as well as some months ago."
His head lifted in reply, but he said nothing.
"Ben, I'm sorry to say this, but… your mother is dead."
He turned slowly, his eyes searching her face for the truth. He exhaled, then looked away. Rey leaned away when a new emotion crossed him: relief. He was relieved that the pain he felt wasn't her loss but someone else. Sorrow flooded over him once more and he nodded, "So that was it."
Rey nodded, "They only just told us today."
He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing as he fiddled with his hands. "H-how? Do you know?"
Rey shook her head, "No, they only told us that she had died."
He nodded, looking full away from her. "And they didn't tell you until now because she was that determined to see me fail, I presume?" He looked back at her.
Rey's chest tightened and she mashed her lips before answering, "If that's how you want to see it."
"Yes, it is."
Rey rolled her eyes and counted to five before continuing. "She wanted to be buried on Naboo-"
"Cremated."
She frowned, "What?"
"Cremated, not buried. My mother always saw being buried as boxed up and silenced. Put away." He smirked, "Anyone foolish enough to box up and silence Leia Organa Solo was soon found to be gravely mistaken."
Rey smiled, remembering a confrontation in the Command Bridge between a Republic senator and General Organa that ended with the senator in tears and the general giving a snort before walking away to discuss battle plans for food. "It's easy to see where you get your stubbornness from, Ben."
His smirk faded and he faced her, "My mother taught me to stand firm in my beliefs, even if I was standing alone. She respected me as Supreme Leader, even if she did not agree with my choice."
Rey nodded. "Will you respect her? Her last wishes?"
"What are they?"
"She wanted to be, cremated, on Naboo, an urn with her ashes placed next to her mother's coffin… and she wanted you there."
He leaned back, eyebrows flying to his hair, "Me?"
"You are her son, Ben. She wanted you there to light the pyre. Here, look," She fumbled with the holopad she smuggled into her bunk, bringing up General Organa's will as she came close to Ben.
Suddenly, she stopped, seeing his outstretched hand to take it. He looked at her, at first in askance, then in realization. He closed his hand and dropped it to his side, prompting Rey to turn the holopad towards him to read.
His frame froze, eyes widening as they moved left to right reading such a profound request. Finally, his eyes flicked to Rey, "What- what are you suggesting?"
Rey shrugged and turned off the pad, "I don't know. A ceasefire?"
His face softened and he gave one final nod, "I can arrange for a ceasefire. In her honor, we could declare Naboo neutral territory, meet commander to commander to pay our respects."
"I'm sure she would appreciate that." Rey told him, the corners of her mouth twitching upward.
It was so calming to be in his presence, so peaceful to speak to him again. He looked down at her, seeming to study her face as she studied him. He had aged in the last two years, she could see it now. He had lines around his eyes along with bags and dark circles, his cheekbones protruded further as though he had not properly eaten. He hadn't been at peace for some time.
A knock echoed throughout Rey's quarters, Rose's voice calling from the other side, tearing Rey from Ben for only a second. Rey flew her head back around, but he had already gone.