Chapter 29: Major Fuck Up
"Sit." Charon demanded, pulling me into his lap.
My back faced him as his arm reached around my waist. I leaned into him and took a deep breath. This was happening.
Something seemed very off this time. It wasn't the fact that this was happening that bothered me, but the fact that I was uncertain if I wanted it to happen. I knew that if I didn't speak up and the truth came out later, Charon would feel bad about it. If I did speak up about it, I risked making things weird between us and it wouldn't be the same from here on out.
Charon's hand had slid down my pants sometime during my thoughts and he was rubbing small circles. It made me feel dirty. He may not have noticed if he was leaving trails of kisses across my shoulders and neck. Tears threatened to spill, a cue to speak up.
Charon stopped all movement entirely. "Is something wrong?"
A lump rose in my throat as I struggled to speak. Charon pulled his hands away from me slowly. "I... I don't know how to put it."
He stood and sat me in the chair as he paced around the room muttering "Oh my god" over and over. I wiped at my face and tried to put words together in my head. Nothing made sense.
"I really like you, but I don't know why I didn't like that." I rubbed my hands over my arms in a self-embrace.
"I'm so sorry." His hands flew to the back of his neck. "Why did you not tell me sooner? I could have hurt you."
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"You're fucking sorry? I'm the one that touched you when you didn't want it. Oh my god, I really am a fucking monster." He stomped out of the room.
I slid off of the chair, tears flowing freely. "Charon, no. I was sending mixed signals!"
I followed him into the next room but he was gone. The back door was wide open, his retreating form yards away. Dogmeat whined and scratched at my leg. I clung to the door frame, sobbing into my hand.
"Charon, please come back!" I hollered from the clinic, sliding down to the floor.
He didn't turn back as he trudged on. Dogmeat barked and took off. I was alone, crying on the floor.
Thirty minutes had passed until Charon came back. He ignored me, avoided looking at me. He pulled the pack on over his back and held the front door for me.
I had finished operating on the man on the table a while ago and there was nothing else for me there. He would wake up soon enough. I pulled the ripped pack on and exited the building. Charon wordlessly followed me out of the town back into the wasteland. You could cut through the tension with a hot knife.
People avoided getting in our way as they patrolled the outskirts of the small town. Dogmeat had kept close by my legs ever since he and Charon had returned.
Charon hadn't said a word since he got back. He didn't even look at me. I wasn't going to push it with him. I knew that things would be weird between us, but I didn't think he would act like I was invisible. The roads seemed clear enough for us not to have our weapons out, but Charon clung to his shotgun tightly anyway.
I swallowed hard before speaking. "I'm sorry that I made things weird. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. And I'm sorry that-"
"Enough. Do not apologize to monsters. You might get hurt." Charon said coldly without looking at me.
I stopped walking, but he continued. I began walking again and caught up with him. I reached for his hand to let him know I wasn't upset with him but he glared and pulled away.
"Why are you bei-"
He cut me off with an icy glare. He grabbed my arm and I knew better than to try to shake him off. "Because we got too close. You are theemployer. I am the employee. I protect you. That is all I do. That is why I exist. I shouldn't even be calling you by your name."
My jaw clenched to the point of a minor headache. "It sure as fuck didn't bother you before."
He let out a short bark of laughter. "That was before I was reminded of why I don't get close to employers. Eleanor," he shook me violently. "I. Am. A. Fucking. Monster."
I shook my head, cheeks already moist. "No. You aren't. Please stop."
He dropped the shotgun and grabbed me by both arms. "Why the fuck can't you get it through your head that nothing happens the way you want it? This is just how it is. Now quit your fucking crying all the time. Everything you can say to insult me is always going to be fucking true. Suck it up and accept it."
"I don't want to." I mumbled.
He leaned his forehead to mine. I flinched under the sudden intimacy. "Nobody fucking wants to, Eleanor. You just have to accept it."
He pushed off of me and dropped my arms. They ached and I could already feel them bruising. That would probably be the last time he touched me.
Dogmeat growled at something approaching. We looked up to see a pack of slavers headed towards town. Charon reached for his shotgun on the ground. He stood up rigidly and I grabbed for my hunting rifle. The men pointed at us down the road and they spread out.
"Three of them. Three of us." Charon whispered to me.
"I still don't like those odds."
"Like I said, nothing ever goes your way." Charon raised his shotgun slightly.
The men stopped about ten feet of us, eying us up and down. They whispered to themselves, their lips stretching into putrid smiles as they looked at me.
"So, how much is she?" The front man asked Charon.
"Not for sale. Leave now."
Dogmeat growled louder. I held him back for now.
"I said 'how much is she?'" The man asked, patience wearing thin.
"And I fucking said she isn't for sale so you should just beat it." Charon raised his shotgun to the man's head.
I held the rifle up but they were quicker. They all held up their energy weapons. Dogmeat lunged for the nearest man's throat without warning. Charon pulled the trigger and the man on the left grabbed at his gaping throat. The man on the right aimed for me and pulled the trigger.
Pain shot through my head. The only sounds were Charon yelling for me and gunshots. I desperately wanted to respond, but my mouth wouldn't open.
The world went black.