Top Secret
by Shealtiel
Rated: T for sexual references, adult themes, violence and mild coarse language
Summary: "Oak, fourteen inches, unpliant and resilient, excellent for Transfiguration with a knack for Charms. Veela hair core."
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Saturday, February 14th, 1976
1:17pm
Madam Puddifoot's
I'm on a fake date. Because apparently I had to say yes to someone, so when the fake date idea was posed to me, I didn't really feel like I had any other options.
So I'm on a fake date. With Sirius, of all people. I'm on a date (yes, a fake one, but still) with Sirius Black. Never in my life did I think I would be sitting here on a date with him, of all people.
In other news, I've been so busy the last few weeks, I didn't even know that Lily has started dating this Sixth Year Ravenclaw, Cody Somebody? I'm pretty much the worst best friend ever. Anyway, she told me all about it yesterday at dinner, after my lesson with Professor Dumbledore (just more practice). Apparently she met him a couple months ago in the library (no surprise there, this is Lily we're talking about) and they've been getting to know each other ever since. He asked her out a couple weeks ago, and today is their first proper date. She was so nervous last night. She was getting Georgia to help pick out her outfit and all this last night. It was adorable.
Anyway, they're in the corner holding hands and staring into each other's eyes, unable to pay attention to anything else. It's disgusting.
Sirius was just like, "Hey, pay attention to me, we're supposed to be on a date."
So then I said, "It's a fake date, I don't have to pay attention to anyone."
So now he is pouting. What a baby. He just said, "Look, I know you'd rather be on a date with like, Sebastien or Peter or somebody you actually like right now, but seeing as neither of them asked you, you're stuck with me for the next couple hours. So could you at least pretend you wanna be here? I could have gone on a Valentine's Date with anyone I wanted, but I chose to do you a favour instead, so the least you could do is talk to me."
Which is generally true. He probably could have asked any girl and they would have said yes. And he is giving up his Valentine's Day for me, which is rather sweet. But he also made a wisecrack about me not being asked by the guys I actually like, so naturally, he loses points for that.
So Peter's on a date with some girl; and before anyone says it, I know I shouldn't care. But I do, okay? I do care. Surprisingly a lot. And that (and what Sirius said) just makes me think about how Sebastien is probably also on a Valentine's Date with someone who is not me. If they celebrate Valentine's Day in France. French is the language of love and all, so you'd think they would. But who knows? Not me, because I'm not dating a French boy anymore, and no French boys asked me to be their Valentine. Plenty of other boys, but no French ones.
I miss Sebastien. I miss his letters. I miss knowing that he's somewhere in France thinking about me. I just miss him. And I don't even know if I'm ever going to see him or talk to him again.
Now I'm getting all teary.
"Why are you crying?" Sirius just asked, not unkindly. I can't really say anything because then I'll really start crying.
He just said, "It's this Sebastien clown, isn't it? You miss him." I just nodded. I still don't trust myself to speak right now. "Look, I know you must really care about the guy, but he clearly doesn't understand what you're worth. I know I said that to you before, but I really mean it. You're special."
I think I'm blushing. But that's easy for Sirius to say. He doesn't know Sebastien. Anyone that does know us both would recognise that I was the lucky one in that relationship. But he's right about one thing. I've done enough sulking. I need to concentrate on the present. Maybe I can convince Sirius to play me in Chess. And maybe I'll actually win for once.
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4:42pm
Three Broomsticks
No such luck. Sirius is better at Chess than I thought he would be. I really need to start working on my strategy. Instead of, you know, just moving the pieces around and hoping I win by accident. He's beat me like, four times in a row already.
We've just been sitting in here playing Chesse and chatting. James and Remus are here too. Georgia is also on a date though, so it's just me and three quarters of the Marauders. They've been taking turns beating me at Chess. Even James has been beating me. I really need to get better at this game. Maybe I'm not thinking laterally enough. Whatever that means. I've gotta start thinking outside the square. Or something.
Anyway, I'm taking a break for a bit while James and Remus play each other. Remus is winning so far.
Anyway, so I've been telling them all about my training with Professor Dumbledore, except not about the MBS, because I'm not really supposed to talk about that. They're all very interested in the Occlumency stuff though, asking me about the meditation and stuff. I guess I would be interested to know what Professor Dumbledore has to teach his individual student if I didn't already know, on account of it being me.
So anyway, I was just telling them about my lessons and the whole 'mind is a maze' thing. They seemed pretty interested in all that. James has mostly just been moping around all afternoon though, about Lily being on a date with someone else. It's starting to get super annoying.
Remus just smashed James, who is now doing even more whining and asking why they can't show him a little sympathy, on this of all days. He is seriously a pain.
Now they're just planning more pranks. I'm going to play James again, and this time, I'm going to concentrate.
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5:28pm
Three Broomsticks
I won! I finally won! Granted, it was against James, who sucks arse at this game, but it's a start! I'm improving! Just gotta keep working at it. I've gotta start getting better at all this stuff. I can't imagine how I'm ever going to be able to do all of it at once.
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