"*black dude yelling at a volcano*"

- Pompeii (2014)

"Never should have come here."

- Aggravated Nord settler

"If I go down, I'm taking you with me!"

- Andross

"I did one of these in MS Paint years ago where it was Jason asking Tommy if he wanted the green Power Coin back."

- me responding to a reddit thread where someone posted the Card Crusher meme edited with characters from The Witch from Mercury

The only life Akane could possibly save now was Emperor Kazuya's, and even that outcome was looking bleak. The exiled ruler and his protector were sitting in the cold, camouflaged rubble of what used to be a hospital on the outskirts of Cardair's residential block. His back was propped against a free-standing chunk of wall, with her curled against him in a frail but protective huddle. They were barely old enough to be considered adults, but the crumbled dust clinging to their faces and hair made them look like they were nearing death just from age alone.

How many hours had they been running away? How many days had they been trapped in carnage that always seemed to surround them no matter what direction they fled? The sky was permanently stained red from smoke and fire, and the sun was nowhere to be seen. For all they knew, it could have been three o'clock in the afternoon, or two o'clock in the morning.

The Neo Schwarz invasion felt like it started eons ago. There was no way to tell how long it had been since they received any instructions from Central Command. They were a clandestine king and his closest personal retainer (the only thing he could take with him while he retreated from the capital unnoticed), and they had no idea where they were supposed to go.

Akane gasped for air like a seasoned swimmer who had been drowning under a chaotic typhoon for the past hour. She knew her dear Kazuya was with her, but her exhausted senses had no perception of her world beyond that. Her cream uniform was tattered with burn marks. Her face was smeared with sweat, dirt, and blood from a dozen earlier battles she barely won or retreated from. The Malachite GEM flickered green on her left ear, blurting tiny uneven chimes that indicated it was struggling to maintain its power reserves.

A week ago, they had been the beloved leaders of a hopeful, peaceful kingdom. Now they were barely surviving as refugees.

Kazuya wrapped his guardian in the shabby grey cloak that was meant to hide all of his regalia. Akane had briefly worn the Florince flag as her apron when she first graduated, then wore the Cardair flag for the past couple of years. Now she shared a colorless, nationless heap of wrinkles with her Master.

She was an exhausted resource who'd been pushed to every physical, emotional, and psychological limit any member of her Order was meant to perform. The only thing Kazuya could do was try to keep her calm and relaxed. He had to help her meditate so her nanotech could recharge.

The Academy had paired her with him in an effort to rebuild Cardair as a peace-seeking nation. Her soft voice, her sharp attention toward the needs of others, and her friendly personality made her the perfect diplomat who greeted guests and helped her equally mild emperor build stronger allies. Her contract designated her as a political aide, and not a powerful weapon meant to crush rivals (the great folly that had brought down the old Cardair regime). The other Otomes from her own kingdom would joke that wherever the emperor went, she would always come along stuck to his side in a little jewel-encrusted cat carrier. Kazuya never wanted to send her into intense warfare by herself, but here she was struggling with the modest combat powers she had just to keep him alive, while she was at her wit's end.

Her panicked gasping slowed. She made a half-conscious stressful murmur with her breath, and started to doze against his shoulder for some much-needed rest. Her GEM's unsteady blinking rhythm slowed with her heart as its biometric systems stabilized.

She absentmindedly mumbled as she nuzzled her head under his neck.

"…too dizzy… so much green… Kazu… ku…"

Kazuya bitterly pursed his lips, but whispered warmly so she couldn't sense his fear.

"Shhh. It's okay, Akane. We got away this time. Let's just rest, okay?"

Akane sighed as her anxiety settled and the electronic pulses in her body slowly recovered from fatigue. Kazuya's eyes started to close as he slouched against the wall with his peacefully resting Meister using him as a warm pillow.

Her GEM suddenly alerted both of them with a single shrill beep.

It was the alarm for incoming Valkyries. Eight of them. Akane's drowsy eyes instantly fluttered open. Kazuya scoffed in rage as he cradled her in his arms.

"Damn. The defense at Monica's Peak must have failed." The location matched the slain Cardair heroine it was named after. Five decades later, the same fate was looking increasingly likely for Akane, and she wasn't even going to get mercy of being sent off by a friend on the opposing side who cared for her. But maybe the Florince-born Meister would get her own monument, so the world would remember she gave all of her loyalty and love to Cardair.

Kazuya glanced down at her as he softened his voice out of pity.

"Are you still tracking any of the girls from the Noble Houses?"

She remorsefully shook her head.

"The only ones I'm picking up are Izabel and Yamhure. Everyone else is just static."

"How far away?" Kazuya asked, already anticipating bad news. The last Cardair emperor to be in the same unpromising position as him was eight when he died.

Akane's tired eyes turned toward the ear wearing her GEM, blinking as she listened carefully.

"They're stuck at the Capital Airport. The place is crawling with Slaves. They've got a distress beacon up, but they're not trying to call the Imperial Line. They probably realize I'm the only one left outside the plaza and they don't want to pull me away from you."

He winced. If those girls could drop everything they were doing and rush straight to their emperor's aid, it would take 10 minutes at the earliest. Schwarz's Valkyries would be arriving within the next 60 seconds.

They couldn't hide any longer. There was nowhere left to run. Cardair's enemies couldn't fully claim the empire was theirs until its rightful ruler was dead, and they were coming to resolve that problem.

"It's okay. At least I still have you…" Kazuya held Akane close to his chest. She was both his final remaining defensive weapon, and his dearly beloved.

"I don't know how much energy I have left, Kazu." Akane shivered in terror and regret. Kazuya was filled with terror of his own, but he couldn't let her see that. He wouldn't let her sink into despair.

"I don't want you hurting yourself for my sake. Push yourself as far as you can, and not a centimeter further. There's nothing to be ashamed of if you give it your all."

"What if I still can't win?" the Otome asked hopelessly.

"Then we'll never have to worry about being separated again."

Kazuya's voice gradually became more confident the longer he talked about their almost-certain demise.

"The palace is ruined. The nobles are all evacuated. Or dead. The House Meisters can't hold out forever." His chin nestled the top of her head as they hugged. "We have nothing left to lose, Akane."

"But your life…" the Pure Heart Malachite whimpered.

"…is bound to yours as long as you're Materialised. Whatever happens, your Fumi will make sure it happens to us together."

This probably just meant the kingdom would fall back into the control of corrupt warlords, and it would be pulled into an even larger war, but he refused to let his Meister give up all hope.

He didn't have much of a life left to offer her. He was a distant cousin of the Argos line. Royal blood still flowed through his veins, but it was the royalty of a displaced and rapidly dying kingdom. But no matter how weak he became physically or politically, he would offer whatever he could to give her strength.

"Kazu, I never wanted this to happen. I just wanted to run away with you." Akane pressed her face into his dreary cloak. He couldn't see her weeping, but he could hear it in her despairing voice and feel it in her quivering shoulders. "Before any of this could happen. Before anyone would want to kill you…"

He reclined back against the wall and held Akane by her shoulders so he could look into her lost and frightened brown eyes. He forced his mouth to form a determined scowl and showed her he had nothing to regret.

"And spend our whole lives being chased around by whoever wanted me to be Emperor? And Garderobe always trying to arrest you?"

A hint of a desperate chuckle escaped the corner of his lips.

"No. We would have struggled even worse than this if we tried to live as hermits. If I had given up my throne and you had given up your dreams of becoming a Meister, a million different things could have ripped us apart. All those times Mahya was teasing us, she was just trying to get us to realize this is where we were meant to be. We gave Cardair a chance to be redeemed after we got it out of Schwarz's hands. Maybe we bought enough time so someone else can redeem it. I don't care if my bloodline is cursed, or the whole world wants me dead. No matter how weak or outnumbered you are, no matter how many times you think you failed, even if everything ends right here, I never would have made it this far without you as my Otome."

Akane sniffed as her defeated expression changed. Tears started to swell in the corners of her eyes. Tears of joy.

"I'm yours to command, Master." Her voice was like a tiny bell ringing on the collar of a lost cat who'd returned to her owner.

She was trapped in a nightmare, but this could be her last opportunity to fulfill her dream. This was the shining ideal all courageous Otomes strived to follow: The guardian angels who carried the torches and scales of justice of each kingdom, always bringing hope when there was seemingly no hope left.

And Akane wasn't playing the part of an angel for fame, or worship. She was far too humble for any of that. She was staring straight back at Death with a smile and fighting against fate only for the Master, the monarch, and the man she loved. After all the sorrow she endured and everything she lost, all she needed was the one person she cared about more than anything else to tell her she wasn't a total failure. She could die at any moment knowing she honored her contract with every last beat in her heart.

Emperor Kazuya smiled and nodded. He whispered the same ceremonial edict he had said countless times in these past few days, but now with a more personal twist.

"Akane Soir, Meister of the Pure Heart Malachite, Otome in my name, I hereby release your powers… and forever devote my life to you."

He softly placed his hands behind the straight brown locks covering her ears and drew her into a long, passionate kiss. There was a faint taste of blood in both of their mouths, but neither of them cared. He gave her a second, smaller kiss on the forehead. Finally, he kissed her on the left ear and bound his heart to hers.

"Materialise." Akane said the word with gentle and selfless resignation to trigger her GEM's partial charge.

The Meister Otome's ragged dust-caked uniform dissolved, instantly bathing her in a purifying white glow while she was curled in Kazu's arms. The chain reaction weaved around her body and gradually formed the threads of her Robe, ending with a pair of pointed metallic tiger ears crowning the top of her hair.

Author's notes:

I just found out Black Guy Who Yells At Volcanoes in Pompeii is also Black Guy Who Yells At Biblical Plagues in The Mummy. Cool.

It didn't make sense to have those other two grounded in the train station in this version. Wink.

I tried to do a "neat thing" with this Kazu-kun where if you pay especially close attention to his It's Morphin Time speech, he's kinda saying the Otome gravestone epitaph from the Master's POV. I was also going for a quasi-religious motif with how he does a Lovers' Sign of the Cross kind of thing when he Activates Her.

This scene is intended to show how, after getting off to a rough start during the TV series, Akane and Kazu-dude have fully matured into the team Garderobe always hoped they would become (where the Otome is a courageous heroine who will dance-fight to protect her nation to the bitter end, and her Master is her personal motivational coach who's there for the Muse when her spirits are down and she needs her own Muse.)

Teacher says every time the Green Ranger's vest armor flickers, Saban has to pay Toei for extra ZyuRanger footage.

I knew there was an older fanfic where I used Skyrim quotez, but I couldn't remember which one it was. After looking around for 20 minutes, I found those quotez in "The Jitterbug," a Lenne story from around four years ago. And that totally makes sense within the context of FFX-2 lore, because Lenne was a ceremonial militarized dance-fighter who tragically fell in love with some himbo from the enemy nation with a giant bug cannon vaguely based on Norse mythology.