CHAPTER FOURTEEN

NOT LIKE ME

So that's the way it's been for the last few weeks. Secret meeting in broom closets, outside, beside the lake, winking across the Great Hall. And nobody suspects anything. Well, actually, that's not true. Mel and Rikki know that something is going on with me but they have no idea what and Caleb says that Al doesn't suspect anything either. James and Fred are throwing another Weasley/Potter party - a Halloween one. Surprisingly, they did it without Roxie. I wonder if they have had a fight or something. Only, when I see them in the Great Hall she isn't there and Freddie looks miserable. Anyway, I figured when all my cousins got drunk I could sneak into a corner with Caleb or something. I have this craving to always be with him. I know it's stupid - I'm only fourteen! - but I feel myself falling hard and fast for him and I can't stop it. We aren't even boyfriend/girlfriend yet and there's no way he can feel the same, no matter what he says. Anyway, it's just after breakfast and I'm on my way to meet Caleb in our broom closet when I'm stopped, right outside it, by Lorcan Scamander. Lorcan is probably one of the few people in my family/friends of family who talks to me properly (eg more than "Hi Lily, Bye Lily).

"Hey Lily, how's 4th year going for you?" He smiles at me.

"Good. It's really hard but I'm managing. What's up?" I ask, knowing he probably wants something. Not that he's like that. it's just he isn't really a chatty person.

"Well, you know the Halloween party tonight? Well I was supposed to be going with Alice. Y'know Alice Longbottom. Anyway, we were talking and it turns out that she doesn't believe in Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, can you believe that? So obviously I can't go with her now."

"Erm, Ok Lorcan. But I don't see how I can help that."

"Isn't it obvious. Well I know you aren't going with anyone. So I was wondering if you'd like to go with me." He states, like it's the most obviously thing in the world. I'm speechless.

"I, er- um Lorcan, I dont -" I don't quite know what to say. I've never been asked on a date before never mind had to turn someone down. But do I turn him down? On one hand I have Caleb. But I don't know what me and Caleb are. Would he care if I went with Lorcan? We would only be going as friends and it's not like I can go with him. On the other hand it would upset me if he was going with someone. Lorcan mistakes my internal confusion for happiness.

"Look Lils, I don't need an answer now. So come and tell me later ok? See ya." He tells me, then walks away. I walk into the broom closet and am met by Caleb, who has a weird look on his face.

"Hey" I whisper and kiss him on the cheek.

"Hey. Are you gonna go to the party with Lorcan?" He asks me. To my surprise (and dissapointment) he doesn't seem jealous, just curious. That's what convinces me to say what I say next.

"You heard that? Would you care if I did? It's not like we can go together and he's just a friend so-" He interrupts me.

"Hey, if you want to go with Scamander it doesn't bother me. Why would it?" I'm hurt by this.

"So you wouldn't care? At all?" I ask him, he shakes his head, "Fine then I guess I'll go with him. No reason not to. Are you going with anyone?"

"Haven't asked anyone yet. But I guess I should. Everyone else will have a date and I don't wanna go alone. Maybe I should ask Louisa Smith, I heard she doesn't have a date yet." Louisa Smith is a slut of epic preportions. You don't ask her on a date unless you plan on having sex. Caleb knows this, and he knows I know. Whether he actually plans on shagging her or if he is just saying that, I don't know, but tears prick my eyes anyway.

"Well, have fun with your slut, Caleb. I'll see you at the party." I mutter and walk out of the closet, slamming the door behind me. I hear him call out but I ignore it. I blink back tears and walk to class, on time for once.

After lessons finish I go to the library to do some homework. I've been in a bad mood all day and don't feel like talking to anyone but when I get there I see the Lorcan and Lysander sitting at a table. I walk up to them and smile at Lorcan.

"Hey Lorcan. I just wanted to say yes, I will go to the party with you." I smile my prettiest smile at him and he smiles back. He looks genuinely pleased and I'm flattered.

"That's great Lils. Thanks, you are doing me a massive favour. I look forward to seeing your costume." He winks at me and turns back to his conversation. Though I'm flattered by his sudden interest in me, I can't ignore the fact that he only picked me because I was the only person he knew wouldn't have a date. Plus, knowing he likes me doesn't make me feel as amazing as knowing Caleb likes me. If Caleb likes me ... because I'm not sure anymore. The thought makes me so sad that I go sit up the back of the library in case I cry. But I don't. Instead I plan ways to make Caleb jealous. Usually Mel, Rikki and I wear proper costumes. I mean clowns, murderers, ghosts - not skimpy, slutty costumes like Hailey Frockler or Louisa Smith. But I'm going to wear one. A skimpy, slutty costume.

"What on earth are you wearing?" Asks Mel after I get changed later that night.

"A costume. I'm a wicked witch. Get it?" I ask.

"That's not a costume. That's a piece of fabric that just covers your important bits." States Rikki, her hands on her hips. I laugh. She isn't wrong. I'm wearing a tight, black, lace-up corset that makes my boobs look great, a tiny black and pink tu-tu that barely covers my arse, thigh-high black lace stockings, shiny pink high heels and a tiny witchs hat on a hairband. My hair is in long curls down my back and my face is plastered in makeup. Not stupid green facepaint but proper makeup - smoky eyeshadow, red lipstick and loads of eyeliner. I look hotter, older, sexier. Not like me at all.

"You look weird. We always promised we would never dress like all those other girls. You look kind of ... well -" Mel begins.#

"Slutty." Finishes Rikki, bluntly.

"That's the point." I tell them. Then I wink, "Are we ready to go?"