I've really outdone myself with this one.

Chapter 45: Baby Blues

"Catherine, are you sure you can handle this?" James asked with concern weighing down his voice.

I smiled weakly at my worried husband. His brows knit together the way they did when he was focused on something important. I nodded gently to ease his concerns. "I'll be fine."

I rubbed my large, swollen stomach. The baby was coming and I would see them soon. My beautiful child would make something of themselves in this wasteland. Whether a gorgeous baby girl, or a handsome baby boy, I didn't care. As long as the baby was healthy, I would be more than happy to bring them into the world.

"James?" I asked quietly. "What do you think they'll be like when they grow up?"

His fingers wrapped around mine and he brought it to his lips, kissing my hand soothingly. "Nothing short of amazing, darling. You're going to be a wonderful mother."

I let out a breathy laugh. "We never even settled on a name yet."

The familiar gleam in his eye gave away his excitement. "I think it's a boy. What about Eli?"

I tilted my head in thought and looked back at him. "Well, I think it's a girl. I like Eleanor."

The two of us giggled in anticipation but got cut short by the searing pressure in my abdomen. A piercing scream tore through me and alerted the other doctors to hurry. My contractions were getting more and more frequent and each one felt worse than the one before it.

"Madison, get in here!" James shouted out into the hall.

Just hearing the woman's name left a bitter taste in my mouth. She had lusted over James for months even after I had asked her countless times if she could please stop. She glared at me when I walked into the same room as her. It was almost funny when James was completely oblivious to her pointless advances. Almost.

The frustrated woman stormed into the room with large equipment behind her. She set it up slowly to piss me off. I could "accidentally" pee on her in labor to show dominance. The thought made me giggle and everyone glanced at me in confusion. My thoughts were interrupted by another contraction, this time feeling like a hole had been punched through my lower abdomen. Everyone cringed at my shriek of pain. I'm so sorry for being in labor.

James held his hand out for me and I took it harshly. He flinched from my death grip but didn't make a sound. "The baby wants out now!"

Madison hoisted up the stirrups and James helped pick my legs up to place my feet and get ready to shoot out a child. My hospital gown hitched up to my thighs and James pulled it back down for modesty.

"You're going to do great, dear. Just relax and breathe." James whispered.

I let out a borderline insane cackle. "You aren't about to fucking push a human out of you."

Madison sneered at my language but she could go fuck herself. I was definitely going to piss on her. It didn't matter much since I was still going to fall asleep in his arms tonight with our baby.

Oh my God. When had I become so petty? This wasn't like me.

An hour had passed before I was finally pushing. They weren't kidding when they said it was the worst pain in your life. I felt like I was being torn in half and then dunked in acid. James kept telling me to relax and just breath and push. I couldn't even remember if I told him to shut up or to fuck himself.

Every push felt like a kick to the chest. Something was wrong with me. I didn't feel right. I pushed for what seemed like days, which James informed me had only been about two hours. My hand ached from grabbed onto his for so long with every push. I could feel extreme pressure as Madison yelled "The baby's crowning!"

Several more hollowing pushes later, my baby was crying in Madison's hands. I stretched to look over my stomach and knees to find a tiny, purple human being that I made. Gomez cut the cord while Madison dabbed at their face with a wash cloth and handed them to James.

His face lit up. "Let's see if you're a boy or a girl," he gasped in joy. "A girl..." He met my excited gaze. "...We have a beautiful baby girl, Catherine." He lifted her to show me, her legs kicking and cries quieting down quickly.

My chest tightened at the sight of her. It was almost painful. "Oh, James. We have a daughter. A beautiful daughter."

James looked down at our new baby endearingly. "You have a bright future ahead of you, honey, I'm sure of it," he whispered.

She grabbed his finger, which barely wrapped around it. "Hey there, hi." He chuckled, "look at you, I'm Daddy... Daddy." He glanced at me and then back to her. "You're name is Eleanor. What do you think for a middle name, dear?"

My chest still ached painfully, but I pushed it aside for now. I could deal with it later. I thought for a moment before giving an answer. "I like Paige."

He smiled wider and looked back at the confused baby in his hands. "Welcome to the world, Miss Eleanor Paige," he said below his breath. "That fits her perfectly."

Madison tapped his shoulder and a television screen was produced where the two of us could see. Science always amazed me with what they could do. "We finished the gene projection."

The screen flickered and lit up dimly. I squinted to get a good look. The image slowly appeared to reveal a beautiful young girl with bright blue eyes and long, curly brown hair. Her cheeks were chubby and rosy and freckle dusted her nose. Her eyelashes fluttered over tan skin. She was going to be a handful.

Had I not been looking, I wouldn't have noticed the a lone tear forming above James's cheek. He wiped it away quickly and turned to me with her. "She's amazing."

Another kick to my chest made me flinch. "She's going to be safe with us."

He smoothed her fuzzy hair back to see her better. "It's a big world out there, honey, and you're going to meet all sorts of people." She babbled loudly in response and he chuckled again. "What about you? What kind of person are you going to be-"

It was getting harder to breathe and my chest felt like it was being stomped on. I could no longer ignore it. "J-James?" I called out.

"Catherine?" He looked up questioningly.

"James, something's wrong." My throat felt like it was on fire and my legs were going numb.

"Catherine!" James hollered. He yelled for Madison and the other assistance to help but my hearing was fading.

I felt his large hands cup my face and he was saying something. I couldn't hear and my eyes were unfocused. He was shouting and I could see the pure panic in his eyes."

My hearing returned for a second and his voice was muffled. The baby was crying from the commotion. "Catherine, I can't do this without you," he pleaded.

My hearing faded again and my vision was getting dark around the edges. I couldn't breath and my body felt like it wasn't even there. I could see from the corner of my eye Madison wheeling Eleanor out of the room. She was taking my baby.

My body jumped as a sharp bolt ran through it. I needed to get to my baby and raise her. She needed a mother. Another wave of electricity flowed through me and felt like my heart stopped. I pulled myself over the edge of the bed to get away from the painful shocks to save my baby.

My body slumped on the ground and my face hit the cold metal. I tried to lift myself up, only managing to crawl two inches on the floor towards the door. Hands grabbed me by the shoulder and flipped me onto my back. It was James, tears streaming down his face. I was dying in his lap. This was a bad day for both of us.

His hand rubbed my cheek shakily. He moved the curls out of my eyes and I could see him clearer for a second before my vision went blurry and my lids felt like lead. What I saw was the face of a man losing everything. His face was reddened and his cheeks were puffy and wet.

I opened my mouth to tell him I loved him and Eleanor but nothing came out. Shapes were appearing above him and the ceiling was all I could see now. My body was getting cold and my heart was slowing.

This was what it was like to die. Huh, I expected something with a little more guns. The world finally went black and my body was gone.

I opened my eyes to see a ceiling again. This one was different though. It wasn't metal. It was cream colored. I was on a soft bed and I sat up comfortably and looked around.

I was in a nice bedroom with a queen sized bed and a large window with lilac curtains. The walls were striped in white and cream from floor to ceiling. A dresser sat next to a closet across from the bed. The door to the rest of the place was closed and in perfect condition.

I swung my legs over the side and jumped when my feet touched something soft. The floor was covered in plush, cream carpet. I was wearing a smooth, pink nightgown made of pre-war silk. I was in a perfectly preserved house from before the war.

I jumped again when someone knocked on the door. I looked around for a weapon until the person on the other side of the door spoke.

"Catherine? Are you awake?" James asked.

I sighed in relief and stood up straight. "I'm up."

He opened the door and donned a blue dress shirt tucked into khaki pants and brown leather shoes. He took my hand with a smile."The baby wants you."

Oh shit, right. I have a baby. "Where is she?"

He looked at me with confused amusement. "What? She's in the nursery."

"Oh, right." Where the hell was I?

He led me down the hall, walls covered in pictures of the two of us and family members surrounding me, to the nursery. I opened the door slowly to find a small room painted sea foam green with bunnies bordering the frames. Stuffed animals, a rocking chair covered in small books and a blanket, and a crib occupied the room. The room was dimly lit with a large window and white curtains taking up half of the wall. I nervously walked up to the crib and peered inside.

There she was. My baby girl. Eleanor was in a purple onesie and sucking on her pointer finger. What a strange baby. Her eyes drifted to my face and she smiled. My chest tightened in pride instead of pain. She reached for me and I lifted her out of her crib. She wrapped around me tightly and giggled.

My eyes stung with tears of joy. She was so beautiful. Everything I could ever ask for. James rested a hand on my lower back and kissed my cheek. "I'll leave you two alone, she's hungry."

He left the room and I made my way to the rocking chair. I moved the books to the floor and sat down. I pulled the night gown down to reveal a nipple and she latched on eagerly. My smile hadn't faded for the past two minutes. The room was too dark for my liking so I reached over to draw the curtains. What I saw outside made me gasp.

Outside the window was a large neighborhood full of houses and children and dogs playing in the yards where trees and grass flourished. One yard had had several children with a hose pouring out fresh water. The sight left me breathless. The sky was blue and small clouds drifted around lazily. At the end of the street was a busier road, teeming with shiny cars and bikes.

I leaned back in the rocking chair and took in the sights. Eleanor was thumping a small fist against my chest in protest. "You sure like attention, don't you, baby?"