Chapter 46: Billy No

I shot up in the bed, throwing the blanket down and startling Charon from his sleep. I clenched my chest. I was back in my house in Megaton. That look in Dad's eyes as mom died burned into my mind.

Charon rubbed my shoulder soothingly and leaned against me. "What is wrong?"

I placed a hand over his on my shoulder and sighed. "I had a bad dream... Except it wasn't all bad. I was in mom's place giving birth and she died and she went somewhere really weird. It looked exactly like the world before the war like in picture books." I paused to swallow loudly. "Charon, I felt her go into cardiac arrest. The pain was so real."

He nodded held me to his chest. "It's alright, Elle. It sounds like she went somewhere better?"

I shook my head. "I don't really know if it was better. I remember waking up after dying and she was in a really nice house. And Dad opened the door and said the baby needed her. Charon, I fucking held and nursed myself. Do you know how weird that is?"

"Yes, it sounds very strange. What all did you see after that?"

I scrunched my face up in thought. "I opened the window and I saw kids and dogs playing with hoses and clean water. There were trees and grass and a lot of cars. The sky was really blue and pretty. It was definitely sometime before the war."

He nodded once. "It is. If that's what heaven is, I'm not sure how I would like that. Then again, there's no way I'm going anywhere but hell after the shit I've had to do."

I craned my neck to look up at him. "Don't think like that. You've changed, right?"

He avoided my gaze and stopped rubbing my shoulders. "I don't think I have."

This wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation, but should still be addressed instead of ignored. "What are you talking about? You're great."

He pulled away from me and laid back down, turning his back to me. "You would not understand."

I leaned over and placed a hand on his arm. "I can try."

He shook me off abruptly. "No, you wouldn't. You are a big part of it..."

I pulled back from him and stood up from the bed. If he was going to be like this, I would leave him alone until he got over it. "Fine, when you're ready to talk, come find me."

I left our room quietly to feed Dogmeat and take a bath. We spent five weeks at the Jefferson Memorial doing this and that and we got back yesterday. We did all we could do for the time being. Now it was all up to repairs and then we could actually start the test trials.

"Good morning, Madame!" Wadsworth cheered.

"Yeah, hey. Do you have any towels I can use for a bath?"

"Of course, Madame!" He chirped and a compartment opened up to reveal a mostly clean folded towel.

I pulled it out and thanked him. Dogmeat yipped from the couch, ears perked up.

"I know what you want, boy. Are you..." I paused for effect. His tail wagged so hard that he was throwing himself off balance."...Hungry?"

He barked happily in response and jumped up on and off of couch excitedly. I dug through the fridge for his pork n' bean reserves and held the last can. I would have to go scaving later for more. Dogmeat swatted at my ankles in anticipation.

"Hey, calm down." I mumbled as I stabbed a knife into the lid and cut in a circular motion to open it.

He made a sound that wasn't much of a bark, and he wasn't committed enough for a whine. It sounded like "boof". His tail wagged violently, knocking plates off of the lower shelf and tipping over my morning sickness bucket.

"Chill, dammit."

I poured the mushy beans in the last clean bowl. He lapped at the mush greedily, flinging stray beans everywhere in a brown mess. I looked under the sink and grabbed the box of detergent. Shaking it confirmed my fears. We were almost out of that too. I would have to go to Super Duper Mart soon.

I dropped the box back under the sink and grabbed the old shampoo and soap from one of the higher shelves and slung the towel and a fresh change of clothes over my shoulder. "I'll be back in a bit. Protect the house while Charon has his hissy fit."

Dogmeat boofed again and I shut the door. It was around noon and the sun was pretty high up and beating mercilessly. The trek to the women's bathroom seemed like it would never end. The heat from the metal walkways burned through my boots and motivated me to walk faster. People tried to stop and talk but I excused myself immediately. The door to the bathroom swung open in front of me and a women I never met bumped into me.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Excuse me." The woman whispered nervously.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. I hear it happens all the time." I straightened my towel.

"I didn't know. I'm knew here." She stuck her hand out and I took it.

"Where did you come from?" She looked tired and worried about something.

Her eyes darted around us to check for passers by. She leaned in closer. "I'm from the Temple of the Union."

She looked at me expectantly. "Uh, I don't think I've heard of that place."

Instead of filling me in she leaned in even closer. "Are there any slavers here?"

I backed up for personal space and thought for a moment. "Well, there's an ex raider and then there's Moriarty. He owns two slaves, but he isn't a slaver himself. Still, I would avoid the bar. I have to take a bath really bad. If you need anything, come find me. I might be home. It's the first house on the left walking into town."

She searched my face for any tricks or deceit. "Who are you?"

I bowed dramatically "I am the Lone Wanderer. But normal people call me 'Eleanor' or 'Elle'."

I stood up and saw her face of shock. "You're really her? The girl who's going to save us?"

That familiar sense of pride and nervousness formed in my stomach when someone thought I would do anything anyone asked. "Uh, I guess. People need to understand that I'm still only nineteen and I'm almost four months pregnant. I'm kind of having time for myself right now. I'm sorry, I never got your name either."

She stared at my stomach in shock or envy. "I wish I could have children... Oh, yeah. I'm Allana. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'll let you go so you can take that bath. It was nice to meet a friendly face."

"It was nice to meet you too. Remember, if you ever need anything, just stop by to see if I'm here."

"Thank you. I will." She smiled and left.

I sighed. She was finally gone. I rushed into the bathroom and quickly undressed. The faucet stuck a little but the water poured out heavily. I stepped into the tub and dunked my head under the stream. I squeezed the shampoo out and lathered my hair into my entire head was a white puff of foam. I pulled my hands back to see the foam was a gross brown color. I really needed this.

I held my head under the stream until all the suds were gone. I felt like my scalp could finally breathe for the first times in weeks. I was generous with the soap and scrubbed my skin raw. The water turned a reddish brown as grease, dirt, grime, and dried blood slipped down the drain. I felt disgusting. This never would have happened in the vault. I showered every other day and the worst I ever got was slightly greasy hair.

That was back when I had luxuries such as a shower when necessary, toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner, soap, and a promised bed. That was back when things were different.

Looking back on my time spent in the vault and the time spent outside, I realized I wouldn't trade the outside for the inside. Sure, personal hygiene was great, but I never would have seen the sky, had a dog, or met Charon and all the great people I have met so far.

When I was done with the bath, I dried off and changed into the clothes. It was a pair of jeans and a baggy plain white t-shirt. I smoothed the shirt over my stomach and a sharp pain jolted through me as something pushed against my hand. The wind knocked out of me was returning at the sudden realization that that was a small kick. The baby was kicking!

I ran out of the bathroom with everything with me and down the ramps. I didn't notice the small lip of metal sticking out until everything dropped out of my hands and I was hurdling towards the ground. A pair of arms wrapped around my chest and under my belly and pulled me back to them. These were definitely not Charon's arms. They were too low to be his. Once I calmed down enough to see who it was, I turned around. Billy Creel smiled down at me like I was a lost puppy.

"Howdy, Elle. Haven't seen you in a while and you go around tripping and almost dying on us, huh?" Billy chucked.

I laughed it off nervously and untangled myself from his arms. He put his hands on his hips and his visible eye crinkled from a wide smile. "Haven't seen you in a while, hun. Where've you been? We were getting worried we wouldn't see that pink puffball and the pretty face anymore."

It was no secret that Billy had feelings for me. I guess word hadn't really gotten out that Charon and I were a thing. "Uh, you know, here and there. I finally found my dad. He was stuck in a vault like a jackass. I was there for awhile and then I was helping him and the scientists from Rivet City with a project. I'm back for awhile."

"Well that's good. How've you been?" He asked and rubbed his neck.

Something told me he was about to make a move. I had to act fast. I drew attention to my stomach by rubbing it. I could still feel small kicks here and there. "Oh, well, Charon and I have been trying to prepare for the new addition to the family. She's actually kicking right now. I just felt the first one a about a minute ago. That's why I was in such a hurry. I had to tell Charon."

He visibly deflated more and more as I went on. He poorly hid it with fake happiness. "I didn't know you were... expecting. How... uh, how far along?"

I stood there, watching him fall deep into the pit of no return that is the "friend zone". "I'm about four months along."

He nodded. "So... Charon, huh?"

I sighed deeply. "Look, Billy, you're a great guy. I know you were looking forward to something but it was just a matter of timing. I'm with Charon and he's a great guy too. I just don't want things to be any more awkward than this conversation is getting."

His lips thinned in a line. "I know, Elle. You're great and I'm not going to push. I'll respect boundaries and I plan on keeping all of my limbs so I'm staying out of it. Plus, that's sort of guy code. I'll live."

I sighed again, but this time was in relief. "Thank you for understanding. Again, it was a matter of timing I think. I really do have to go though. He's a fill-in baby daddy and he would want to know right away."

He nodded sadly. "I understand. I'll see you around. Be safe and watch your step from now on."

I hugged him once, said goodbye, and picked my stuff off the ramp on my way back to the house. No one stopped me this time. I opened the door and saw Charon on the couch with his knees up to his chest and his head buried in his arms. He didn't acknowledge I was there when I opened the door.

"Hey Charon? You'll never guess what happened in the bathroom."

He picked his head up slightly to give me a confused and sort of disturbed look. "Do I actually want to hear it or did something to do with lady parts happen?"

I felt around my stomach to look for kicks but felt nothing. "Aw, she stopped. She finally kicked, Charon!"

He lifted the rest of his head in amazement and ushered me over. I moved closer and watched on endearingly as he ran his hands over my belly. He leaned in and pressed his face to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled back suddenly with an odd expression.

"The bitch kicked me in the face." He laughed.

I covered my mouth with the back of my hand and snorted. "Then don't shove your face in her little space bubble. She likes room."

He tugged me down into his lap and leaned his head into my shoulder. "I'm sorry about earlier. I was angry at myself. Not you."

I rubbed a thumb along his jaw. "I know. It's alright."

He shook his head. "No, it's not. I shouldn't project my shit onto you. You don't deserve it and you sure as hell don't need it right now. You've got your own problems."

I lifted his chin and pressed my lips to his. "Stop that. I said it was fine. I'm not angry. I was just concerned. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

He let out a high sigh. "I don't want to talk about it right now. Let's talk about baby shit."

"Like?"

He smiled. "I'm finding a crib tomorrow."