"I did it," Emma blurted, as soon as the office door was closed. "I told her how I was feeling and that I wasn't ready to move in with her."

"And how did she react?" the therapist asked gently, sitting down in her chair.

The patient sat down too and answered, "She told me she understood. But, like... she really meant it. She told me that it happens to her too. I couldn't believe it. I mean, we've never really talked about it before. I mean, I knew she'd been raped, but I... we... we never talked about it."

"How did it feel to share that, and to have her share what she did in return?"

"God dammit. I knew you were gonna get to asking me that. And how does that make you feel? It's such a gross question."

"Why is it a gross question?"

"Because it means I have to think in order to answer, unless I feed you some stupid bullshit like, 'I don't know,' which is just code for, 'Fuck off. I don't want to talk about it.'"

"That's true. And it's a lot easier to tell someone to fuck off than to tell them how you feel."

"You can say fuck?"

With a chuckle, the doctor replied, "I can say what I'd like, as long as it doesn't make you uncomfortable."

"Well, obviously, if I'm saying it, it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable."

"Would you tell me if it did?"

There was silence as Emma processed the question, mulling it over in her mind. What was the woman getting at? Was it some kind of therapy hocus-pocus? She wasn't sure, but she processed the question fully anyway.

"Yes," she finally replied. "I would tell you if you said something that made me uncomfortable."

"Would you tell Regina if something she said made you uncomfortable?"

"Jeez," the blonde breathed, leaning back in the seat. "You're a hard hitter, you know that? You cut right through the bullshit and get to the point."

"You don't have to answer anything you don't want to, Emma."

"It's fine. I'm just saying. Anyway, I guess it depends on what it was."

"Let's say she said something that offended you. Would you tell her that?"

"Yeah, sure. She's pissed me off plenty of times, and I've told her so."

"What if she hurt your feelings?"

"Um... Well, that's kind of gay, so probably not."

"Emma, come on. Do you really think that?"

"Well,...no, but... I guess I'm just saying it because when she hurts my feelings I don't just feel hurt. I feel embarrassed about the fact that I even care enough to hurt."

"That makes a lot of sense."

Looking surprised, Emma asked, "It does?"

The therapist nodded her head and continued, "So, do you want to tell me about your conversation?"

"Well, I mean... I just... I sort of... cried... and told her that... that I have flashbacks... and she said she's had them too... and I admitted that I was too scared to tell her."

"You're willing to tell her a lot."

"I wish I could tell her everything, you know? But I'm scared of everything. I want to be able to communicate effectively and have a healthy relationship, but I'm such an immature little brat sometimes, and I just can't help but lash out or get angry when really, inside I'm feeling torn up and broken."

There was a long, long pause before Danielle spoke again. Strangely enough, the two continued to make eye contact throughout the silence.

Eventually, the woman told her, "You just said a lot right there, Emma."

"Babe?" Regina asked her lover as the girl climbed into the car. "What's up?"

"I... want... to talk about my... um... feelings."

The brunette stared at her, her jaw threatening to fall to the floor. She wanted to ask, 'Are you serious?' but knew that it was neither an appropriate time nor question to be asking. Instead, she reached over and put her hand on top of Emma's.

"Alright, babe. That sounds good." When Emma was silent and simply sat looking terrified, Regina pressed gently, "So what are you feeling?"

"S-Scared," the blonde stuttered.

Her lover waited for more, but when it didn't come, she asked, "Do you want to tell me what you're scared of?"

"No..."

"That's okay. Even identifying the emotion is a big step. We don't have to talk about where it's coming from if you don't want to."

"You sound like such a therapist."

"Emma... That's what I am. It's who I am. I'm not trying to give you therapy, though. It's just part of how I think and express myself. Please don't take it the wrong way. My words are genuine, I promise you."

"You're not just feeding me the generic therapist lines?"

"Is that how you see me? As someone who just feeds people 'generic therapist lines?'"

The hurt in Regina's eyes was evident, and Emma immediately felt the burn of shame when she saw it.

"No... Babe, I... I didn't mean it like that. It's just hard, you know? When no one's ever cared or been gentle with me before. To just... you know... believe that they're genuine."

"Do you believe that Doctor Cohen is genuine?"

After thinking hard about this, Emma nodded her head and said, "Yeah. I do."

"Good. I trust your judgment. But do you think I'm genuine?"

"Sometimes, I'm not sure, to be totally honest with you. But that's just my own insecurities and self-doubt. I want to believe you so badly that it hurts, but ever fiber in me is just like, 'No way. She doesn't really care about you. She just feels bad for you.' That's not what I really think. It's just... what my mind says... when you say things like you care about me or you love me."

"I do care about you. And I do love you. I love you so, so much, Emma..."

"Gina..."

"What is it, baby?"

"Danielle says I'm making progress. She says I should be proud of myself. But I just can't be proud of myself when I... when..."

"Em?" Regina asked gently, when the girl trailed off.

"When I still constantly want to hurt myself."

This was one of the few times that the doctor had ever heard the girl verbally express her desire to self-harm, and it startled her, considering that it wasn't accompanied by tears or anger.

"It's okay to have those thoughts, you know. You just have to ground yourself and remember that people love you, and that you love other people, and that things will get better."

"I don't know if I believe that things will get better, but honestly... I love you too much to kill myself. You and Belle are the only things I have to live for."

"I wish you wouldn't say that... but if that's what you need to hold on to in order to keep you here, then that's okay. We'll work on that. We'll find you more things to care about. More things to help you feel whole. Right now, though, we just need to keep your head above water. To keep you safe."

"I want to cut, Regina. Talking about things makes me want to cut."

"It won't always be like that. Talking gets easier the more you practice it. It hurts at first, because it's tearing open a wound that's started to scar over, but eventually, it doesn't feel like that anymore. You'll get to a point where you can talk about these things with discomfort, but not complete agony."

"How did you get over it?"

"What?"

"How did you... get over... being... you know..."

"You can say it, Emma. I was raped. And I didn't 'get over it.' I got better at dealing with it. It still affects me, but it doesn't affect my every day functioning anymore, and I'm grateful for that, but it took a lot of therapy to get me here."

"How long?"

"Years."

"But I don't want to be in therapy for years! I just want to fucking get over this!"

When Emma's eyes began to water, Regina leaned in, tucked her hair behind her ears, and gently kissed her forehead.

"My sweet, darling girl... It's not about getting over it. It's about coping with it. And you will learn that. It just takes time. That being said... You're doing a lot better than I did. I went through it all kicking and screaming and drinking and hating the world. I was very angry for a very long time."

"But you're not angry now?"

"I'm... I mean... I'm angry at the perpetrator, but I'm not angry at myself, or at anyone else. You, unlike me, are adjusting to therapy beautifully. I couldn't face the emotions you're facing now until I'd been in therapy for at least a year and a half. You're pushing through the hardest part of this far more quickly than I ever could have."

"You really think so?"

"I don't know exactly where you're at, but I see a big change in you. In what you say and how you act. You're gentler now. You're more open and honest."

"Are those good things?"

"Yes. To be honest, Emma... I understand why you're angry, and why you've acted the way you have... but you can be really harsh sometimes."

"I know... Babe, I'm so sorry. I-"

"No. Listen. I'm not looking for an apology. I'm just trying to explain. You're a better listener now. You give me a chance to express myself before you get upset about whatever I've said. And you've opened up to me and said things I never thought I'd hear."

"There's no one else I'd rather take this journey with than you, Regina."

With a warm, encouraging smile, the woman replied, "I'm happy to hear that, darling, because you're definitely not getting rid of me any time soon."