"How are you, Emma?" Danielle asked her patient with a gentle smile.
"I'm okay. I'm... I'm good, actually," the girl told her, sitting down slowly as the doctor shut the door to her office.
"That sounds like an improvement! I know you said you were struggling with some things when we met during our last session."
"It is an improvement. I feel... I feel really good. Scared, but good."
"Why scared and good?"
"Yeah, I know that sounds weird."
"It doesn't sound weird. I'm just wondering where the combination of those feelings is coming from, if you'd like to tell me."
"Well, I had... I had another really great conversation with Regina. When I left here last time, I really just felt like... like I wanted to get it all out there. I couldn't say everything I should have, but I told her I wanted to at least talk about my feelings, and that went over really well."
"Do you mind if I ask what feeling you shared with her? Or feelings?"
"I told her I was scared, but... when I couldn't get anything else out, she told me that was fine, and that just identifying the feelings is a big step."
"That's true. She's very insightful."
Emma paused and felt a lump rise in her throat. Part of her wanted to divulge everything, to tell the therapist that Regina was older than her, that she was a doctor - her doctor - and that she'd nearly gotten fired for what was going on between them. But she knew she couldn't share this, so she went completely silent as she felt her muscles tense.
"I notice you've just tensed up slightly," the doctor observed. "Do you know where that reaction is coming from?"
"N-No," the girl lied, releasing her iron grip on the armrests of the chair she was sitting in.
The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a while, not saying anything, until Emma begin to subconsciously squirm in her seat, unable to stifle the reaction.
"Emma," Danielle said slowly. "There is nothing you can't say to me. Anything you want to share is completely safe in this room, unless I fear that your life or someone else's is in danger or that you report the current abuse of a child."
"Well, it's none of that."
"Okay." When Emma continued to look uncomfortable, the woman asked, "Would you like to talk about something else? Anything you'd like."
"I hate my foster family," Emma blurted, saying the first thing that came to mind.
Skillfully stopping her own surprised reaction, the therapist leaned back in her seat slightly and set her pen down on top of her notebook. She made no visible response to Emma's comment and instead stayed calm, even though the words were quite unexpected.
"You have said that you dislike them, and that you've experienced some aggression from the other kids in the house. Has something else happened to make you feel more strongly, or has this been how you've felt the whole time?"
"The more time I spend with Regina, the more I realize how much I hate being in that house. I mean, I love being around Belle and getting to hang out with her a lot, but she's the only good thing about being there. I want out."
"Well, you're graduating very soon, and you'll be above to move out as soon as you do. How are you feeling about that?"
"Excited... and scared. I'm not ready to get a job, you know? I feel like I'm just gonna fuck everything up and be horrible at whatever I do."
"Have you considered going to college?"
"I've got no way to pay for it, and I'd never get in anyway."
"You are a very intelligent girl, Emma, and I think that you'd have a very good chance at being admitted to a college or university. If you're worried about the cost, there are plenty of scholarships, and the government offers many loans and grants to students with financial need like you. It would likely be completely paid for, and you could pay the loans back later, once you do get a job. You'd probably even get a refund from excess loans, depending on the school you went to. A community college might be an even better choice if you're worried about paying back the loans too. You have a lot of options. You're not limited here. You don't have to jump right into a job. Or school, even. You can choose."
"I'm too scared to apply to college. It's too late anyway. Deadlines were back in January."
"There are plenty of schools, especially community colleges, that will offer late admissions. Especially with the way you've raised your grades."
"That's just because of Belle. If she hadn't been helping me, I'd be failing."
"I think it's all about the teachers you have. If you have poor teachers, which it seems like you do, it makes it difficult to learn. Belle seems to have been a very good tutor for you, but you're the one who understood the information and retained it all in order to perform well in the classroom."
Emma paused for a while before she managed to speak again, looking nervous and skeptical.
"Yeah..." she finally mumbled. "I guess so."
"What does Regina think about it?"
"She wants me to go to school. She thinks I could do well. I just don't feel like I could do it by myself. And Belle got into Harvard Law School, so... it's not like she'll be close. I'll probably never see her, even to visit."
"Harvard is only a few hours away, Emma. You'll be able to see her. She might not be able to tutor you anymore, but I also believe that you can get through this on your own. Besides, I bet there's a lot Regina could do to help you as well. She sounds very educated."
"Yeah... Um... She went to Columbia University..." Before the woman could ask what she'd gotten her degree in, or what her profession was, Emma was relieved to look at the clock and discover that they'd gone five minutes over their session time, so she quickly told her doctor, "I guess we're out of time. I'll see you in a few days."
Raising an eyebrow slightly at the girl's abrupt ending of the conversation, the therapist stood up and nodded her head, saying, "Keep up the good work, okay? It's alright to be scared, especially of sharing where your feelings are coming from, but I'm sure that your loved ones care enough to accept you exactly how you are."
"Yeah... I guess so. Anyway, thanks, Danielle. I really appreciate it. I'll see you later."