I'm going to be taking a lot more liberties with the story from here on out. Also, I'm updating the first few chapters over time because they fucking suck and I cringe every time I read them.

Chapter 48: A Quick Stop

I sat at my desk in my room with dozens of crumpled papers and dulling pencils surrounding my throbbing head. I had tried to draw again like I used to when I was younger and my hands felt like jelly. I banged my head on the desk too hard and now I had a splitting headache.

Dogmeat rested his head on my knees and whined to get my attention. I rubbed behind his ear lazily and pushed myself back up.

A messy sketch of Charon in a kitchen with oven mitts on stared back at me. This was a keeper. Every time I looked at it, it made me smile. It was even funnier when I looked at his angry expression. He was bent over pulling a tray of burnt cookies out of the oven. Something told me he was a bad baker.

All the other papers were sloppy doodles of me in pretty dresses and pictures of mom from memory. Dad used to have a picture of the two of them but something happened to it and we never saw it again.

Personally, I believe the Overseer took it. He knew Dad and I weren't from the vault and if someone saw a picture of Dad with a woman that had never lived in the vault, it would definitely raise some questions among the younger vault residents.

Thinking about the vault made my heart ache. I was pretty much alone right now and the vault was only a five minute walk away. They had most definitely changed the password for the door and made it impossible for me to come back... unless someone were close enough to the door to hear me knocking and open it for me. The idea seemed more than tempting to try out. I hadn't been back in months, so maybe they forgot about me.

I pushed the chair out and stood up and got dressed in my armor. I slung my hunting rifle over my shoulder in case I needed it and left the house. No one questioned me as I was leaving, only wishing me luck to wherever I was going. Dogmeat was hot on my heels.

Springvale hadn't changed and I think someone broke the nice little robot that led me here. I stopped at the bottom of the hill and squinted up at the top. I could make out the wooden door that led to the cave and the gear to the vault.

I took a deep breath and sighed heavily before marching up the dirt path to the door. My finger wrapped around the hot metal handle and swung it open. The air was stale and my eyes wouldn't adjust for awhile. Dogmeat sniffed at the air and huffed.

Charon wouldn't be home for hours, so I had some time before I had to leave again. My heart sped up faster the closer I got to the door. Cans clanged across the cave floor and I stopped in front of the control panel. Skeletons with picket signs lay scattered and forgotten at my feet.

I let out a shaky breath and keyed in the old password. It was wrong.

I thought about any other possible passwords and keyed them in. They were all wrong. I grew increasingly desperate with each failing entry.

I hadn't even noticed when I started choking on air and crying like a baby. I was starting to panic and bent down to pick up a rock. I chucked it at the door and it barely missed Dogmeat when it came back.

I grabbed my hair and sank to the ground in a weeping heap. Dogmeat licked at my face in an attempt to fix me. I pushed him away gently and threw a bigger rock at the door.

A loud clang resounded through the cave and no response. I cursed and started throwing everything that wasn't rooted to the ground or dead. Dogmeat scurried away back outside in fear.

My chest hurt as I heaved another loud cry. I curled on the ground and screamed into my hands. Why was this happening to me?

I was surrounded by loose objects and the door had small dents in it now. Dogmeat had pushed the cave door open and left me alone to myself.

My shoulders shook violently with every scream and curse I could get out between gasps for air. I wanted to see Butch. I wanted to find Amata and apologize for all the stupid fights. I wanted to talk to Mrs. Palmer and eat sweet rolls with Paul.

Everything ceased when I heard a loud tap on the other side of the door. I held my breath to listen for another. Scrambling on my hands and knees, I made my way to the door. I tapped on it loudly and listened closely for a response.

Thunk.

I quiet gasp escaped my lips. I pounded on the door harder and faster and they pounded back.

"Hey! Who is it?" I shouted.

The voice was muffled and barely audible. I leaned in closer and pushed my ear up against the cool dusty metal. "What?"

I focused hard and concentrated on the voice. I could barely make out the words but it sounded very close to "Freddie."

"It's me, Eleanor! Freddie, it' me!" Happy tears stained my face now.

I leaned in as close as possible to hear what they would say and faintly heard "holy shit."

My cheeks hurt from the wide smile. "Let me in! I just want to visit! I promise I'll leave after I'm done!"

Two more taps on the door and I backed up in confusion. The ground began to shake and my ears rang from the alarm. The door was opening for me and I could see him again.

I rushed to my feet and slipped in as soon as there was enough room for me to enter. Freddie would get in a lot of trouble for doing this.

I squeezed into the vault and hit the ground when my ass got unstuck. I shielded my stomach and landed on my hands and knees again. When I looked up, Freddie was extending a hand for me and I took it gratefully. I got to my feet and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you guys."

He wrapped his arms tighter and buried his face into my hair. "I missed you , too." He pulled back with a smile. "The hair is new."

He ruffled my pink fluff ball and grinned like an idiot. As quickly as it appeared, it was gone. "You shouldn't be here, Elle."

My brow furrowed and I shook my head in disbelief. "Why? I had nothing to do with the vault opening in the first place."

He held me at arms length. "You have no idea, do you?"

My face was tightening in a frown. "What don't I know? What's wrong?"

He shushed me quickly. "Keep it down. Someone could hear you." He held a finger to his lips. "Anyway, the Overseer went fucking nuts and he won't let anyone leave or even listen... He started purging the vault. I've heard talk of a rebellion. Amata, Butch, and the others are talking about leaving. Butch wants to leave for good and find you." He sighed, "I have a good feeling that you're here for him."

His words echoed in my mind as if I was comatose. Was the Overseer really that insane? "Uh, yeah. I need to see him and the rest of the kids."

Freddie looked away for a moment. "There aren't that many of us left. A lot of them got caught up in the first night."

The air in my throat seized. I could feel the bile rising, but I pushed it down. "Who... who's left?"

He stuffed his hands in his pockets nervously. "Well, there's me, Butch, Amata, Christine, Susie, and Wally. Paul got hurt pretty bad in the crossfire and if we had a doctor that night, he probably could have made it. Wally left the gang for some stupid reason. I guess he didn't like me joining."

I couldn't hold it back this time. I doubled over the railing and threw up the noodles I had from the Brass Lantern earlier and wiped my mouth. That was the worst thing I've thrown up in years. Freddie rubbed my back comfortingly.

"Hey, uh, I can bring Butch and Amata back for ya. I don't think it would be a good idea to have you walkin' around," he pulled my hair back for me and winced at the scar left on my temple. "Jeez, what the fuck happened to you?"

I pulled my hair back down to hide it. "I got shot by a slaver and almost lo-" I paused, thinking better of telling him about Clarice. "I almost went into a coma."

His eyes widened. "What was that part you stopped on? What would you lose? Something important?"

I pushed him away. "It's nothing."

He pulled me back by the arm and inspected me. "No fucking-" he pressed a hand to my swollen belly. His eyes darted to mine,"way."

I swatted his hands away quickly and shook my head profusely. He always had an absurd gift of knowing something was up. "You cannot say a word to him."

His head nodded and looked like he desperately wanted to ask something. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "What?"

"Is it... is it his?" His face looked incredibly worried about something.

I shook my head. My jaw ticked in anger at myself. He paled as he pointed a shaky finger towards himself. I shook again.

"It's neither of yours. Don't worry about who she's for. No one from the vault and that's why you have to promise me you won't tell Butch... or Wally."

Freddie smiled and swore under his breath. "Jeez, Elle. Who haven't you deflowered?"

I tried to be angry. I wanted to be angry, but I laughed anyway. It felt good to laugh. "Uh, I don't think I ever did anything more than a tuggy under the table with Taylor."

He chuckled and covered his mouth. "You haven't changed, Elle."

My smile faded. I wish that were true. He must have noticed my change of mood, having taken my hands in his. "Hey, I'm going to go get them. But you can't stay more than an hour. Stay close to the exit just in case."

I waited for several minutes before I heard multiple pairs of footsteps. I turned with the barrel of my rifle trained on the door. Butch skidded to a stop and threw his hands up with a smug grin. "Baby, I turn my back for one second and you already trying to take me out?"

I dropped my gun to the floor with a sigh of relief and ran to him. I threw my arms around his neck and choked out a sob into his shoulder. "I missed you guys so much!"

Amata stood with her hands on her hips and waited for us to be over. She huffed when she heard my cries. I pulled back and Butch wiped away a tear from my cheek. He went for a kiss and I leaned back. He stopped where my lips would have been and opened his eyes, looking wounded.

"I can't, Butch. A lot of stuff... happened since I've been outside." My heart broke as the rejection dawn on him visibly.

He pulled back and let his hands drop. He quickly covered himself under his facade. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a match and began flipping his pocketknife. "That's fine, baby. Shit happens."

The hurt was clear on his face as he looked down at the ground. The air escaped my lungs and refused to return until Amata coughed to get our attention. "Hm?"

She tilted her head, offended. "I'm here, too. And why are you here?"

Anger began boiling inside me as the air returned. God, she was such a bitch all the time. I narrowed my eyes. "I can't stop by the neighborhood? I only live about five minutes away on foot."

She sneered. "Good for you, but that doesn't make our situation any better."

I ignored her purposefully and turned back to Freddie. "So, other than the Overseer going batshit insane, what's been going on?"

He shrugged and Butch cleared his throat. "I want to leave the vault for good, but Mrs. Perfect over here only wants to open it for trade or some shit."

Amata rolled her eyes and bit her cheek, the way she did when she really wanted to say something, but thought better of it. I brushed her off again. "Anyway, what else? How is Mr. Brotch and Mrs. Palmer?"

Freddie shrugged again. "They're doing fine. I think I heard the guards talking about Brotch last night so I think we should keep an eye on him."

The four of us stood in awkward silence for what felt like half an hour before Amata broke it. "What did you even want me here for if you're just going to ignore me?"

I smiled sadly. "I actually wanted to apologize for our fights, but it's clear that you're a fucking wall when it comes to acting like an adult. I thought you would have grown out of being a complete snob bitch with no manners or the thought process of anyone over a toddler, but I was wrong. You can leave if you want to so much."

She barked out a laugh. "You want me to leave? Sweetie, you came in to my vault and demanded you speak to me."

My eyes narrowed and the edges of my mouth curled up. "You think I forget where I come from? 'Cause if I remember correctly, I've been in this vault my whole life, save for the past four months."

She turned her nose up and flipped me off. She left the room, but looked over her shoulder before leaving our sight. "You weren't born here. You never belonged here, honey. And you aren't welcome back."

She smiled and left the three of us alone. We looked between each other and, after a moment, fell into a laughing fit. Tears streamed down our eyes as we couldn't contain ourselves.

"God, she's... such a princess," Butch choked out between chuckles and wiped his eyes.

I never liked her to begin with, now I had yet another reason not to. "Yeah, who is she kidding?" I straightened myself out and tried to maintain a more serious tone. "But I do have to leave soon. The Overseer will find out I stopped by and we could all be in a lot of trouble. I have to get back home."

The two of them stopped laughing immediately and the air was filled with deafening silence.

"Are you ever coming back again?" Butch asked, pleading with his eyes. Begging me to stay. "This can't be the last time we see you."

I really didn't know if I would be able to come back again. "I'm not sure, but you can bet your asses I'll try."

I yelped in surprise when his arms shot around me and pulled me to him tightly. He leaned into my ear and whispered so Freddie couldn't hear him. "Please don't leave me again, Eleanor."

His tone and words pulled at my heart, but I pushed the feeling down. I had Charon. "I have a life out there. I can't leave them. They won't even know what happened to me."

He loosened his grip and I slid out of his embrace. His dark eyes bore through me and I could feel him shattering. Freddie tapped my shoulder when he felt it was time for me to leave. I nodded sadly and hugged them both once more.

"Uh," Butch muttered. "Goodbye again. Stay safe... I love you, Elle."

My lip quivered at the last words. He had never said that to me. I still loved him, but it wasn't the same between us. "I... I love you, too."

Freddie looked uncomfortable to be there and shifted from foot to foot. Butch gave me one last heart breaking look and slunk out of the room solemnly. I gave Freddie a hug and thanked him for everything.

"You stay safe out there, Elle." He mumbled.

I nodded. "I have to get my dog. He's waiting outside."

His smile returned. "You have a real life dog?"

His smile was incredibly infectious. "Yeah, wanna see him?"

He nodded excitedly like a child. I signaled for him to wait and jogged towards the wooden door. It wasn't until I opened the door that I noticed a second pair of feet were behind me. He followed me, but looked ready to bolt.

"You want to see the outside?" I asked him with a sly smirk.

He nodded hesitantly. "Just for a second."

I shrugged. "It's not pretty, but the sun is something else when you see it for the first time."

I opened the door and Dogmeat rushed in, excitedly pouncing at our heels. He sniffed loudly at Freddie's legs and licked his hands. Freddie himself looked both worried and very interested. I took his hand and placed it on Dogmeat's head. He got the hint and began running his fingers through his fur.

His eyes widened even larger than when he made the baby discovery and his mouth hung open. "Hi, doggy."

I held the door open for him and ushered him to hurry it up. His eyes shifted to the vault door to make sure it was still open and stepped outside slowly. He squinted in the light and looked at it shine on his skin. His skin was significantly paler than mine.

"It's so warm out here," he breathed out.

"Unbearably sometimes. You should see it rain. Doesn't happen often, but scary as hell."

His head inclined towards the sky and he drank in the sun for the first time. He shielded his eyes and stared at the sun. I pulled his face down quickly and smiled at him. He kneaded his eyes.

"That hurt to look at," he chuckled.

"You can go blind if you look at it too long."

I took in his amazement as he looked around Springvale and the horizon. He pointed at Megaton. "What's that?"

"I live there. It's a town called Megaton."

He nodded and looked some more. "And that?"

My eyes followed his finger. "That's the Washington Monument. It's in the middle of D.C.. Really dangerous place."

He mouthed "oh" and waved his hands over the town. "And this place?"

"Springvale. It was a town that got destroyed when the bombs dropped. The school is still standing though." I sighed, looking at the landscape through his eyes. His experience was a lot nicer than mine had been.

My eyes swept over his face. He looked content and at peace for the first time I had ever known. He had always been nervous and never seemed like he could get comfortable in his skin until now. It was the vault that had messed him up so much. Something told me he belonged on the outside.

The two of us jumped when the ear-splitting klaxon alarm sounded and the caution light flashed signaling the vault closing.