Chapter 5: "Unexplainable Caramels and Sticky Emotions"

Lukas would be lying if he would have said that Mathias was kind to him for the rest of the week. But he also would have been lying if he would have said that Mathias was mean to him. He more or less ignored him, which was good because he didn't have to deal with stupid comments or pranks. A lot of that might have been because Gilbert wasn't there.

He hated to admit it, but he was also a little disappointed to be ignored by Mathias. He had gone to his birthday party, brought him a gift, and been nice to him despite all that he'd put him through, and now he couldn't even give him a friendly wave. Lukas was having trouble making friends, too. It was so hard for him to gain the courage to talk to other people, and they rarely talked to him first, so he suffered in silence until Eduard would give him an occasional smile or sit next to him in art. But even then, they exchanged almost no words.

Mathias was actually the person he'd talked to most since arriving. I mean, that didn't make them friends, did it? Maybe Gilbert would get back and Mathias would start being mean again. He couldn't be sure. But he was sure that he wanted to go over to his house tonight.

Of course he was still a bit wary, how could he not be? But he hadn't actually hung out with anyone in over three months. The only person he ever talked to was his mother, which was fine, but it was different than being around a friend. Did he just call Mathias his friend?

He thought over the question on the ride home. He guessed they could be. He could consider Mathias his friend. But did Mathias feel the same way? He always felt stupid when he liked someone that didn't actually like him back. But Mathias had been genuinely nice when he was over at his house. He seemed like he wanted to be friends. I mean, he wouldn't have invited him over if he didn't want to be friends, right?

Mathias' house was as clean and primped as it was a week ago. His mother greeted him at the door, but Mathias wasn't in site. He did, however, hear a squeaky noise coming from upstairs. His mother forced a smile and said, "He's practicing. Believe it or not, this is better than what's been coming out so far. Do you need anything, Lukas? I can get you some water, sweetie."

He nodded and sat on the couch, looking at the large television. Mathias had a really nice house. I mean, it wasn't insanely nice, but it was significantly nicer than his own. He turned to watch Mathias' mother as she pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. That was so odd to him, because who paid for water when it was free? He thanked her when she put it on the coffee table in front of him.

"So, Lukas. Do you have any brothers or sisters?" It was obvious that she was trying to fill the silence. He nodded and twisted the cap off the water bottle. "A little brother. He's four," he replied. She nodded, sipping on her own water. "Mathias always wanted a brother, but I only had him." She laughed, though even Lukas could tell it was forced, so he simply nodded again, not knowing what to say. It surprised him that Mathias wanted a brother, though.

"Mom, where'd you put-" Mathias stopped at the bottom of the stairs and stared at Lukas. "Oh, hey! Didn't know you'd be here so early," he said, plopping down next to Lukas, who scooted over to make room. That was his mothers cue to go. "Mathias, honey, there's a bowl of candy on the table and I put the movies that are okay for you on the coffee table. Okay? I've got to go, sweetie. Have fun!" With that, she grabbed her purse and actually left the house.

Once she was gone, Lukas asked, "Where is she going?" I mean, she was leaving him all alone. Was their someone else here he didn't know about? His mother never left him alone in the house. It wasn't allowed yet. "She works the nightshift at the hospital every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday," he replied, getting up and grabbing the bowl of candy off of the table. "Hey, I already put a film in. My mom locks up the ones she doesn't want me to see so I went ahead and took it last night. Been hiding it in the DVD player every since. Pretty smart, huh?"

Lukas took a little square caramel from the bowl and unwrapped it. "I wouldn't say smart." Mathias didn't reply. He picked up a remote and turned the t.v. on, playing the film while he got up to dim the lights. "You good, Lukas? Do you need anything? I mean, are you cold?"

He shook his head and ate another caramel. Mathias sat down again, staring intensely at the screen. It was Nightmare on Elm Street. Lukas had heard of it but had no interest in watching it. Despite that, he watched most of it, grimacing at some of the more gory parts while Mathias seemed to be more curious about the effects. "Hey, Lukas, do you think fake blood stains?" He said, smiling as he turned to watch Lukas play with a candy rapper. He huffed, ignoring the question, and said, "I don't think I can watch this anymore."

"But there's only thirty minutes left! Come on, Lukas. Don't be a baby," he said, opening a box of redhots. Lukas stood up, crossing his arms. "I'm not a baby. Disliking something doesn't make you a baby. I can't help not liking it."

Mathias shrugged. "Okay. Eat this whole box of redhots at once and I'll turn it off," he said, holding the box out to Lukas, who glared at it.

"That's not fair!"

"Oh yeah? Well life isn't fair, so."

Lukas squinted and knocked the redhots out of his hand, sending candy pieces all over the floor. "When you were hurt the other day, would you have eaten a handful of mud if your dad would have let you come in afterwards?"

"Wh . . . ? What?" Mathias immediately forgot about the mess and looked at Lukas, whose cheeks were a little red from being upset. "You wouldn't have because you thought it was fair that you went inside. You knew it was okay for you to go in because you were hurt and it didn't matter what he was saying because you knew what was best for you, stupid! So I'm not eating any redhots! You're turning it off because it is making me not feel good! You should know how it feels to not feel good and want to help me!"

Mathias stared at the smaller boy for a moment, picked up the remote, and turned the movie off. Lukas' face was bright red and he hadn't felt this embarrassed in a long time. He hadn't said that many words at once in a long time, either. He felt too hot now and he was tired and didn't feel like he belonged. He took out the little phone in his pocket and dialed frantically.

He was in the kitchen on the phone for a minute or so before he came back and sat on the couch, sitting as far away from Mathias as possible. They were silent for a minute before Mathias said, "I shouldn't have said that. I'm really sorry, Lukas."

Lukas shook his head. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad, Mathias," he said, scooting closer again. Mathias cleared his throat, extended his hand, and smiled nervously. "Oh. Well, that's okay. You're right. I shouldn't have made you watch that, either. But . . . uh . . . " Mathias continued to offer his hand. Lukas didn't know why he was doing that, but he figured he was supposed to take it, so he did, shaking it weakly.

Mathias stared at him, not shaking his hand at first, but finally catching on and as he tried not to laugh, he shook Lukas' hand. In all honesty he had meant it to be a low high-five. But this was nice, too. Except the handshake was long. And Lukas' hand was barely moving. And it was way too quiet. But it was pleasant. The handshake felt nice. Lukas had a cold little hand, but it was really soft. Finally, their hands stopped moving completely and they stared at each other for a moment, both utterly confused as to why the other was holding on.

It was Lukas who finally pulled his hand away, feeling a little weird at having held his hand. He was pretty sure handshakes didn't work like that. Mathias was the one that broke the silence. "Your hands are really soft, Lukas," he said, immediately regretting breaking the silence with said comment. Lukas turned to look at him, smiling a little on the inside.

Mathias laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "We're friends, aren't we, Lukas? I mean, I like you. I think you're really . . . " He almost said 'cool', but something about that seemed wrong. "You're really nice. And it's nice being around you. And you're smart."

Lukas covered a forming smile, then said, "Oh. Thanks. I think you're smart, too. And you are really nice at soccer and orchestra." Mathias beamed at that, scooting right next to Lukas. "Yeah? Thanks! I practice both. You're good, too, though. I hear you playing violin and it sounds really good so far!" Again, a hand came up to hide his smile and he looked away. Mathias caught on and leaned forward more, trying to get a glimpse of his smile.

"Why do you gotta do that?" He asked, crossing his arms in frustration as he continued to try to see Lukas' smile. Lukas said nothing, not wanting to admit that A) He was uncomfortable showing too much emotion, and B) He didn't have perfect teeth. They weren't terrible, but they were a little crooked and not as white as he'd liked them to be.

"I'm sure you've got a really nice smile," he suggested, putting a hand on Lukas' shoulder. The smaller boy turned, confused as to why the other cared so much. Finally, after much consideration, he said, "I guess I could show you. But only so you'll stop bothering me." After that, he moved his hand, smiling very hesitantly. As soon as he began to smile, so did Mathias, and at first he thought it was because he was making fun of him, but he mumbled "Whoa" under his breath, and he knew he wasn't joking.

"You know, this whole time I've known you, I haven't really seen you smile. It looks really, really good. I don't think you should cover it," he said. This made Lukas smile wider, and as much as he wanted to bring his hand up to cover it, he kept it in his lap. "See? You're doing better already!"

Lukas couldn't believe it, but this did feel so much better. It was nice to not hide his smile in front of someone besides his family. He didn't think it really deserved praise, though. Just a silly smile, like everyone else's. But the way Mathias seemed to lighten at the sight of it was something different, and he couldn't help but remember the look he'd given him.

You don't understand! I coulda had favorites. I coulda had followers. I coulda gotten REVIEWS, instead of turning into a mediocre fanfic writer, which is what I am.