Chapter 8: "Laceless Boxers and Fist Fights"

"LUDWIG, GET OUT OF MY ROOM! Dad! DAAAAD!"

Gilbert scrambled off of his bed and grabbed Ludwig, throwing him over his shoulder. "STAY OUT OF MY ROOM, TURD!" He yelled, dropping him on the hallway floor and slamming his door shut. "He's so annoying! Anyways, ladies, sorry you had to see that," he said as he collapsed onto his bed next to Mathias and Ned who were both playing videogames.

"Gil, why don't you have clothes on?" Ned asked. Gilbert stood on the bed and did a pelvic thrust. "I am wearing clothes!"

Mathias put the controller down. "Boxers don't count as clothes."

"AT LEAST I DON'T WEAR TIGHTEY WHITEYS LIKE YOU DO, MATHIAS!"

Mathias huffed and crossed his arms. "Yeah right!" He stood and dropped his pants. "I wear boxer briefs, bitch."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING bitch?" Gilbert punched Mathias in the chest and tackled him onto the floor. "I DON'T FIGHT LIKE A BITCH!" Mathias laughed as Gilbert repeatedly punched him in the chest. Ned pushed Gilbert off and continued to play the video game, but now Gilbert was scrambling to get up. He kicked Ned in the stomach and that's what really started it.

Within minutes, Ned was on the floor, Gilbert was standing on the bed, and Mathias was locked in the closet. He banged on the door. "Gilbert. Gil! NED! Lemme out!" Both boys stared at the closet door, then at each other.

They both leaned against the door and smiled. "Nope, that's where you're sleeping tonight," said Gilbert, snickering to himself. Mathias sighed and tried to open the door again. "Yeah, real funny. Open up."

Ned started to unlock the door but was stopped by Gilbert. "Okay but only if you agree to play truth or dare with us," he said. Mathias hated truth or dare. Gilbert loved it. He came up with the worst questions and the worst dares. It even made Ned uneasy to have to do one of his dares. Last time they played this game it ended with Ned choking on a piece of a pickle and Gilbert cackling in the corner.

"Fine, I'll play your stupid game. Not like I have a choice," he said at last. Gilbert unlocked the door and they all sat on the bed. For some reason, Gilbert told Mathias to pick somebody first. He figured Gilbert would have wanted to give out the first dare. He looked at the two of them, then said, "Ned, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

Mathias looked around. "Uh. I dare you to stick your knob out the window and take a piss." Ned unzipped his pants and walked over to the window, opening it. They both walked over, watching the steady stream of urine fall out from the second story window and into an already yellowed patch of grass. "Jesus, have you been pissing out your window, Gil?" Ned asked, zipping his pants back up. Gilbert laughed but didn't answer.

"Gross. Hey Gil, truth or dare."

Surprisingly, Gilbert picked truth. "Hm. Do you like that girl you were talking to the other day? The one with the long hair?" Gilbert laughed and stood up on the bed, hands on his hips. "Yeah right! Elizaveta? She doesn't even have any boobies."

Mathias raised an eyebrow like he wanted to add on to that, but he really didn't know what to say, so Gilbert continued. "Hey, look what I found in my dads room the other day when he was at work." He reached under his bed and pulled out a folded up poster of a blonde woman in just a pair of pink panties. Gilbert smiled and Ned actually blushed a little, but Mathias just stared at it.

Okay, so... she had boobs? I mean, they were what they were. They looked like how he expected boobs to look. She had a nice face, too. A pretty nose. Mathias shrugged and looked away, not really amused. Gilbert nudged him. "She's pretty hot, right?"

Mathias rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, she's pretty," he said. Gilbert and Ned looked at each other, then at Mathias.

"Pretty? Her boobies are pretty? They're boobies."

He looked at the picture again. "Yeah, well. They're really round, I guess. She's cute." He shrugged, not knowing what they expected him to say. Gilbert slowly folded up the paper and stuck it back under his bed. "Hey, Mathias. Truth or dare."

"Dare."

Gilbert grinned maniacally. "I dare you to call Lukas."

Ned smiled and leaned back against the bedpost. "Nice one."

"What? I don't even have his number!"

Gilbert ran into the hall, grabbed the phone, and ran back. "I bet your mom does! Call her and get the number or you're a chicken and I'll LOCK YOU BACK IN THE CLOSET!"

Mathias grimaced as he punched in his mothers number. He wished she wouldn't have answered and given the number to him. He hung up and called Lukas' number. His mother answered and he almost hung up, but Gilbert forced him to ask for Lukas.

"What am I even supposed to say to him?" He asked. Gilbert rubbed his hands together excitedly and scooted closer. "Don't worry. Put it on speaker. I'll whisper to you, okay? Repeat after me."

"Hello?"

They all gathered around the phone and Gilbert had already begun to whisper into Mathias' ear.

"... Good evening, miss..."

"What?"

" ...What are you w-..." Mathias glared at Gilbert. "I can't ask him that!" Gilbert and Ned both started dragging him towards the closet and he quickly yelled, "What are you wearing!"

"...that isn't funny."

"... Please be my girlfriend..."

Ned and Gilbert couldn't stop laughing. Mathias couldn't hear anything and he thought Lukas had hung up, but then he said,

"Gilbert is stupid."

Mathias smiled, relieved that Lukas knew this wasn't his doing. "Yeah, he is. Sorry for calling."

"I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO SAY THAT, YOU TURD!" Gilbert tackled Mathias to the floor and grabbed the phone. "MATHIAS WANTED ME TO TELL YOU THAT HE IS VERY GAY FOR YOU AND HE WANTS TO GIVE YOU A WET KISS!" Mathias grabbed the phone so hard he could hear the plastic backing snap off and he punched Gilbert right in the jaw, but he was still laughing with Ned.

"Lukas, I'm real sorry. I definitely don't want to kiss you."

"...I need to go. Goodnight."

With that, Lukas was gone, and Mathias was just about ready to kill Gilbert.

Lukas stared at the phone as he rocked back in forth on his bed, eyes welling up with big, watery tears. He ran out of his room and downstairs where his mother was sitting on the couch reading a book. He plopped down next to her and broke into a sob, causing her to turn and stare at him. "Lukas? What's wrong!?" She pulled him closer and patted his back. "Why are you crying?"

He shuddered as he tried to catch his breath and he couldn't even look at her. He had felt this build up for weeks now and he had finally reached his breaking point. "Mama, I think there's something wrong with me and I... " He buried his face into his hands and curled up on the couch. She patted his back, leaned down, and kissed his cheek. "Lukas, what is it? You can tell me. I'm sure there is absolutely nothing wrong."

His hair was starting to stick to his cheeks and his eyes were puffy and red. "I can't tell you because you'll think I'm weird," he said, crying softer. She almost laughed at that, knowing that there was nothing that could turn her from him. She patted his shoulder and said, "Try me. I pinky promise it isn't as big as you think."

After a few sniffles, he sat up and looked at her. "Do you, um," he wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Did you ever see a girl and want to kiss her?"

Now his mother really laughed. "It's normal to see a girl and want to kiss her, Lukas!"

He broke into a completely new fit of sobs and buried his face into his arm. She blinked, wondering what she had said wrong. Suddenly it hit her and her eyes widened. "Oh, you mean have I ever seen a girl and wanted to kiss her?" She asked, leaning in closer. Lukas looked up and nodded slightly, wiping a tear off his neck.

"Ah. Well, I haven't, really. But I know some girls who see other girls and want to kiss them. Why are you asking?" She said, pulling him into her arms. He tried not to cry anymore, but it just made his throat burn. "I think sometimes I see boys that I like. That I like like," he whispered, immediately starting to cry again. His mother stared at him and actually laughed a little.

"Aw, Lukas. That's normal! You really had me scared!" She kissed his head and wiped the tears off of his cheeks. He stared up at her with widened eyes. "Really?"

She nodded. He stood up and paced the floor uncomfortably. "Then why are people so mean about it? Everyone makes jokes about boys kissing a-and..." More tears rolled down his cheeks. "Why do they do that? Is it gross?"

"No. No. Absolutely not. They're gross for saying that. You just keep being a good person, Lukas. Keep being you. Don't let anyone or anything make you feel bad. I know a lot of boys who like other boys."

Lukas smiled a little. "So it isn't just me?"

"No," she laughed lightly and stood up. "Nope. Come on, Lukas. You need to get back to bed. We can talk more about it in the morning."

Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my reviews.