Octavia
At the breakfast with Moira and her family, Octavia had learned a lot about Raven Rock, but she felt like it had only raised more questions than answers. Still, she couldn't help but be intrigued by how different Raven Rock seemed from Mount Weather. She knew what had happened to Bellamy and the others when they were inside, and by comparison Raven Rock seemed so tame.
As Moira explained it, when her mother had taken power, she had started the initiative to bring new blood into the mountain, both for genetic diversity and to give their children the opportunity to inherit the ability to filter radiation. Eventually, they would be able to walk outside because of their efforts.
But Octavia was wary. She knew that Mount Weather had seemed pleasant at first, until they realised that by draining her friends, and then by taking their bone marrow, they wouldn't have to wait generations for the ability to walk on the ground again. And Moira did know about the bone marrow. That was why Octavia was so careful not to give too much away about herself or her people, and had let Moira and Kota do most of the talking.
She was allowed to walk freely throughout the facility, only because there was no way out, but what Octavia saw inside seemed to backup what she'd been told. The population was a real mix, and many of the Grounders who lived inside Raven Rock still retained their original clothing and hairstyles, while others appeared more assimilated. Some of Raven Rock's people, on the other hand, had adopted Grounder hairstyles, like Octavia herself. Walking through a crowded room, like the mess hall, she heard conversations in English, Trigedasleng, as well as some people who spoke in mixtures of the two. It seemed like Moira's dream of an integrated society was working.
Still, Octavia was sure there were skeletons in Raven Rock's closets, and she was determined to find them.
It was clear that everyone inside the mountain knew who Octavia was, and people were very curious about her, the children especially. They would approach her, shy at first, and then more brave, and ask her questions- about the outside, the Ark, space, her landing on Earth, the war, Mount Weather. She censored her answers carefully, but enjoyed their eager little faces gazing up at her. She could only imagine that she must have looked very similar when she was little, listening to her mother or Bellamy telling stories.
Everyone was kind to her, and she realised that they were trying to make her feel welcome inside the mountain, because they all assumed that she would stay. Delicately, she tried to probe for stories about people who had run away or escaped, but no one seemed to have ever heard of such a thing happening. Octavia tried not to feel hopeless, but she found herself growing more and more claustrophobic and more and more frustrated.
Raven Rock was quite a large facility, much bigger than Mount Weather, and Octavia had discovered some strange things- what Moira had described as a "coffee shop," "gift shop," and a strange dilapidated hallway with a weird mechanism at one end and a strange control centre at the other, filled with containers. "A bowling alley," Moira explained with a small smile. "The pins and balls have long since been lost, repurposed, or broken, and we haven't really found another use for the room besides storage."
Octavia walked down one of the long corridors and then up onto the catwalk that she'd discovered early on in her explorations. It spanned a large cavernous room, which was completely flooded. This reservoir provided Raven Rock's fresh water, and the water had a greenish-blue tinge to it. She liked to sit on the catwalk and watch the water. As long as she kept her eyes down and ignored the eerie silence, she could almost imagine that she was outside. She missed the sky terribly. She was still waiting for Bellamy and Lincoln.
After she sat by the reservoir for a while, Octavia heaved a sigh and got back to her feet. Instead of going back the way she'd come, she decided to investigate a smaller tunnel that led off this main one, which she hadn't yet had a chance to explore. It looked the same as any of the other tunnels she had already investigated, but she was determined to leave no stone unturned, and she always held out hope that she would discover a way to the outside.
She was surprised when she reached the end of the tunnel and found nothing but a dead end. Disappointed, she was about to turn back when she saw the tiniest sliver of light at the base of the tunnel, in the rock. She quickly moved over and touched the wall, and she realised that there was a very well hidden door set into the stone itself. Octavia got her fingernails under the frame of the door, and with some difficulty she managed to pry it open just a little, then the door creaked open fully. It seemed like maybe the door hadn't been used in a long time.
When she stepped inside, the hallway was as immaculate and clean as the rest of the facility, bright and sterile, with that soft hum of fluorescent lights overhead. On the wall was a sign that said 'Restricted – Authorized Personnel Only.'
Octavia didn't even hesitate, she just kept her footsteps quiet as she continued down the hallway, crouching low in case she ran into anyone. At the end of the corridor was another door, and Octavia headed for it, hoping that whoever might normally be here would be in the mess hall, since it was about dinnertime.
When she reached the door, she pushed it open and came upon a huge room, lit dimly. There were about a dozen or so strange machines in the room, almost as tall as Octavia. Each one looked like a tall cabinet of drawers, with a plastic, transparent case sitting on top. The case had holes in it, and just under the case was a control panel lit up with numbers and icons that Octavia didn't understand. The light was so subdued that it was hard to see exactly what these machines might be, so she approached one slowly, feeling nervous though she wasn't sure why.
As soon as she reached the nearest one, she still couldn't figure out what it was. She realised that the holes in the plastic case had little doors attached to them, and at least one of the numbers on the console was a measurement of temperature, which was high. Octavia laid her fingertips against the plastic, and it felt warm to the touch.
A sharp sound caught Octavia's attention and she quickly moved through the identical machines, realising that one of the plastic cases up ahead had something in it, and that's where the noise had come from. She hurried that way, and as she neared she realised what she was looking at.
Her heart caught in her throat as she saw the tiny baby in the plastic box, squirming and letting out soft little cries, only slightly muffled by the plastic that surrounded it. There were tubes and wires leading away from its body, and is head was wrapped round and round with bandages, oozing with blood, covering its face.
Octavia put her hands against the plastic and just watched it for a moment. She had never seen a baby up close- Grounder women kept their babies in fabric slings or wraps that tied them to their bodies, and they were rarely even put down until they could walk.
This baby was tiny and helpless, naked aside from a cloth wrapped between its legs and the bandages over its face. It was squirming and crying out for something, and Octavia's heart broke for the little thing, but she had no idea what to do. She wished so much that Bellamy was there.
Finally she decided that she couldn't just stand there doing nothing, so she opened one of the little doors and gingerly put her hand inside. The air within the box was pleasantly warm. She didn't want to hurt the baby, which looked so tiny and fragile, so she just touched its skin lightly, feeling the rise and fall of its little chest. She was surprised when the baby grabbed her finger. It was unexpectedly strong, and she couldn't help but smile. She marvelled at its little fingers, the tiny fingernails on each one, and then she looked down at its feet, its cute little chubby toes and skinny legs.
"Hey, little baby," she cooed softly. Her touch seemed to calm it somewhat, and its cries stopped as she held its hand. "What are you doing in here, huh?" Belatedly she realised there were other babies there too- three more of the plastic boxes also held infants. Not all of them had bandages over their eyes, but they all seemed to have at least one place on their bodies that was injured.
Suddenly the lights turned on to full brightness and something that sounded like a siren broke through the silence of the room. Octavia's heart started pounding as she pulled her hand back from the baby, shutting the little plastic door again. She turned and hurried back towards the entrance she'd come through, wanting to get back to the tunnel as quickly as possible.
"Stop!" a man's voice suddenly rang out behind her. Octavia saw his gun and started running. "Don't move!"
She hit the door with both hands outstretched, banging it open and continuing down the corridor. She heard the crackle of a radio behind her as her pursuer followed, but she just kept going.
It wasn't until another man appeared at the other end of the tunnel and started towards her that Octavia slowed her pace. Frantically she looked around for any other option, but the tunnel had no entrance or exit aside from the room that led to the babies and the corridor that led to the reservoir- both were now blocked by the men, who were advancing on her. She felt her claustrophobia boiling up as they closed in on her.
"Wait!" Moira's voice came from behind the first man. Octavia saw her and let out a breath of relief as the men stopped walking. She hurried toward the woman, past the man with the gun, and as soon as she reached Moira she was given a reassuring smile. "Leave us," she said to the men. They obliged, leaving the two women alone together.
"What's going on?" Octavia asked.
"Calm down," Moira said gently. "You activated an alarm when you opened one of the incubators."
"What the hell are you doing to those babies?" she demanded.
Moira hesitated, letting out a sigh. "Come with me." She led her back into the room and took her to another one of the machines- incubators. The baby inside was quiet, its little eyes twitching with sleep. Its chest was wrapped up in bandages. "This little boy had a heart defect," she explained. "The radiation is stronger here, and a lot of children are born with problems. Their parents bring them here so we can use our medical technology to save them. He had surgery last week, and he'll have another in about a month."
"And then what?" Octavia asked. "You'll send him home?"
Moira's eyes met Octavia's. "You know the answer to that."
"So that's it? They can never see their families again? Just like your husband? Just like me?"
"These babies were brought here so they would have a chance to live," she said firmly. "When you're a mother, you'll understand- we do anything for our children. Even if it's painful."
Octavia knew from her own mother just how true that statement was, but she wasn't going to agree with anything Moira said. "And if it was your baby, wouldn't you want it back?" she asked.
"Of course I would," Moira said, impatient now. "But we don't have unlimited resources here, Octavia. I would love to save all the world's babies and send them home with no reward for my efforts, but this is as good as it gets. We save their lives and in return they're given up for adoption to Raven Rock families. When they grow up they add their genes to ours."
"And what if you can't save them?"
"What do you think?" Moira asked, her voice soft.
But Octavia already knew. Horrified, she said, "You kill them?"
"We euthanise them in the most humane way possible."
"Oh my God," Octavia groaned, taking a step away from her, shaking her head. She knew her eyes were full of shock and disbelief.
"Please try to understand," Moira said urgently. "Before we started this program, the Plains People would leave their deformed babies to die in the forest. If they were lucky, they'd die of exposure. The unlucky ones would be eaten alive by animals. Since we started inviting those babies into Raven Rock, the ones who can be saved are, and the ones who can't are given a painless death, and their bodies are laid to rest with dignity."
"That's just what people like you do, isn't it?" Octavia growled, shaking her head. "You're exactly like Mount Weather- trying to justify the horrible things you do. But the truth is, you're all monsters." Even Clarke, she added silently to herself, thinking of how she'd tried to defend what she'd done to tonDC. The righteous could be more dangerous than the cruel.
"Octavia!" Moira exclaimed. "If we were like Mount Weather, you would be dead. But you're not. In fact, you're a welcome and equal member of this society. We don't keep people in cages, we don't force blood and marrow extraction, and we don't look on the clans as savages. Be careful who you insult."
She shook her head again. "I don't want to be an equal member of this society," she said. "I want to go home. I want Bellamy and Lincoln. You can't keep me locked up in here forever, and you can't convince me that this-" she waved her hand at the incubators "- is justified."
"What you see here is the lesser of two evils, believe me," Moira said.
Octavia shook her head, glaring at her. "You tell yourself whatever you have to, lady." Moira reached for her hand but Octavia jerked it away. "Don't touch me!"
"I can see you need some time," Moira answered shortly. "This is a restricted area- don't come back here, Octavia. I'm going to escort you to your room now."
"I don't need an escort," she snapped, turning on her heel and charging from the room. Moira fell into step behind her, but she ignored her all the way back to the room where she was staying, slamming the door as she went inside. She paced back and forth angrily, kicking at the bed and chair before finally flopping onto her stomach on the bed and screaming into the pillow. Once she had exhausted herself, she stood up and went to the door, opening it to see if Moira was still there. To her relief, she'd left.
Octavia went back to the bed and lay down on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She was so angry and felt so helpless and alone, so powerless to do anything at all about any of this. She just needed to get outside.
"Hurry up," she said softly, impatiently, wishing her words could travel to Lincoln and her brother and get them to realise just how much she needed them. She felt a strong urgency, like things were only going to get worse from here. "Please, please hurry."