Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of its characters.

A/N: First of all, thanks, as always to all you wonderful readers and reviewers. You're all awesome. I just hope you don't all hate me after you read this chapter. LOL. But it's there for a reason. I'm actually nervous to post it but I can't move on to the rest of the story until I do. LOL. So, here goes.

Now, I should mention the italicized parts are not flashbacks. The centered ones are the lyrics to a song. And the beginning ones are pretty sexual. I put it in italics so if any of you don't like reading those scenes, or are offended by them, you can skip them.

Anyway, onto the chapter.

Lucas snapped his phone shut and sighed deeply with frustration and worry.

"She's still not answering?" Haley asked.

"Nope," he replied helplessly. "I keep getting her voicemail."

"Gosh, I really hope she's ok," Haley said with concern. "I wonder what she's doing."

"Hopefully, nothing stupid," Luke responded.

–––––

Their lips parted as he helped her out of her t-shirt and then pulled his own over his head. His fingers worked the clasps of her bra until it snapped open and he was able to simply push it off her shoulders, dropping it haphazardly to the floor by their feet with their shirts.

He captured her mouth again, kissing her hard, fearing if he didn't, she'd realize what she was doing and put the brakes on.

But she kissed him just as fervently. She broke away from his lips to trail kisses down his chest to his abs, her fingers retracing her steps, caressing the sinewy flesh. It had been too long since she'd touched him, too long since she'd tasted him. And her body was aflame. 'God, Peyton, I missed you,' she heard him say huskily.

"Me too," she replied breathily, standing upright to join mouths once more. Boy, had she missed him. She didn't stop to think about what she was doing. Truthfully, thinking was the last thing she wanted to do right now. It was the hardest day of the year for her and she needed this. Needed him.

He pulled her flush against him, both groaning deeply as their bare chests touched. He took a ragged breath, unsure how long he could hold himself in check. The bulge in his south region was already pressing painfully against his jeans. At this rate, he could spill any second. He'd definitely been without her too long. It may only be a few months since he'd had her, but it felt like a lifetime. Nobody affected him like she did.

It certainly didn't slow the process down when she reached between them into his loosely fitted jeans and massaged him through his boxers before reaching inside and taking him in her hand.

His eyes fluttered closed at the sensation and a deep, guttural groan escaped him. "Peyt…" he gasped moments later, weakly attempting to push her hand away. "Baby, I can't…I'm gonna…fuck, I'm gonna cum…"

Her gaze lifted, her eyes sparkling at the pleasure she saw etched on his face – pleasure she was giving him. She smiled, reveling in that power. "It's ok," she whispered sensually. "I want you to."

And that was all it took for him to let go.

–––––

"She was a wonderful lady," Ellie said as Larry flipped through the photo album.

"Yes, she was," Larry agreed sadly. "Sometimes it's still hard to believe that she's gone."

"This day must be really difficult for you and Peyton both."

"It's a tough one," he admitted. "You'd think it would get easier each year, but…"

"It doesn't."

He shook his head. "It doesn't," he repeated.

"How do you think Peyton's handling it?" Ellie asked.

"It's hard to say. To be honest, it's the first year I've been home for it in a while. Brooke generally takes it upon herself to be around for Peyton."

"But this year, she's not here."

"No," Larry said. "But she's got Lucas at least. I'm sure he's taking good care of her," he concluded.

–––––

He guided her backward until her knees buckled and they fell onto the bed, his lips capturing hers in another searing kiss, one hand on her chest massaging a soft, firm breast, gently squeezing its bud between his thumb and forefinger. His mouth came down to replace his right hand while the left gave attention to the other supple mound.

She arched her back and moaned as his tongue flicked over a hardened nipple. If he weren't already hard again, that would have done it.

Her own hands wandered, one running through his short, dark locks while the other traced the contours of his arms and back.

He lifted to his knees to pull her jeans off as she pushed his down along with his boxers. He shook them off and then moved on to her panties.

For a moment he merely stared down at the perfection that was Peyton as she lay there in all her glorious beauty before him. She was so damn gorgeous – every inch of her was perfect.

She blushed prettily under his intense gaze before, unable to help herself, she reached out to stroke him again.

His fingers found her warm, moist center and she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming out. He teased her senses as he lightly traced the surface for several seconds.

"Nathan…" she pleaded desperately.

He smiled at that before finally slipping a finger inside, followed by another. She cried out and he watched the ecstasy spread across her face – something he loved to see.

She drew a grunt out of him too as his actions caused hers to tighten her grip on him and quicken her movements. "Ahh, fuck, that feels good," he croaked, throwing his head back in pleasure.

He brought her to climax twice with his fingers alone, but she wanted more. She wanted him inside of her. "Now, Nathan," she pleaded. "I want you now."

More than ready himself, he reached across the night stand for the condoms.

And then came a soft knock to the bedroom door.

"Go away," Nathan growled, assuming it was his dad.

But the handle turned and the door swung open, causing Peyton and Nathan to quickly pull up the covers. But not quick enough. They looked up in shock at the visitor neither expected.

Shelly. And judging by her facial expression, she was just as surprised by what she'd walked into.

Peyton couldn't say she blamed her. Just yesterday she'd told the girl how much Nathan truly liked her and encouraged her to talk to him so she could be there for him while he dealt with his family issues. And the very next day she comes over and finds them in bed together. Yeah, that would definitely be a slap in the face.

Peyton's cheeks flushed with shame as Shelly glanced from one to the other with obvious disdain, her eyes finally resting on Peyton.

"Well, looks like you got him covered," she snarled. Shaking her head, she added, "You two deserve each other." And then she walked out.

Peyton shot out of bed, reality coming down hard. "What am I doing?" she asked, searching frantically for her discarded clothing, the guilt of her actions evident in her tone. "Is she the company you mentioned coming over?"

"No," Nathan replied, hopping to his feet, a sense of panic hitting him. She was leaving. Damn it! He couldn't take that, not again. Not after this. Not when she'd finally come to him, when he'd finally gotten to touch her again. No. "I just said that to piss you off," he said. "There wasn't anyone coming."

"So you lied," she accused as she slipped on her jeans. "Big surprise." All the progress she'd made breaking away from him and now she was right back at square one.

"Peyton...I…" he began, putting on his boxers.

"No, don't," she said, picking up her bra to put on. "Don't give me any explanations. We are not together."

"Then what the hell was all this?" he asked, getting frustrated.

"This was you proving that nothing's changed. You're still a lying, cheating ass."

"I'm not with her, Peyton. I swear we broke up at the dance. I don't know why she came over."

"Maybe to give you another shot. Looks like you blew it."

"Don't act like I just cheated on her, all right. I'm not with her, so really, the only cheater in the room right now is you." He couldn't help it, he was angry. "And you're the one who started this, not me."

"You're right," she agreed. "This was my mistake. I shouldn't have come here." She put her shirt over her head and slipped into her shoes.

"So, this really was just you snapping to see if I'd come?" he asked bitingly, throwing on his jeans now.

"You did," she said flatly.

"I don't buy it, Peyt. We almost had sex and I know what that means to you."

"Don't read too much into it, ok," she advised him. "I haven't had sex in months. I was horny and you were there."

"Bullshit, Peyton. I don't believe you."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Believe or don't believe. I'm human too, you know."

"So now what? You just go back to Lucas and make like this never happened?"

"It's for the best," she said.

"Best for who?"

"Both of us. Nathan, we sucked together, remember?"

"But we don't have to," he tried to change her mind. "Please, just stay with me. I promise things'll be different this time."

Oh God, those words. Those same words he'd used so many times in the past. It'll be different this time. I promise. She'd be a fool to believe in them again.

He saw the doubt in her eyes and his role in that. He'd said the same thing countless times, but if she could just see that this time it was for real. This time, if he got her back, he would never screw it up again. "Peyton, please. You have to believe me."

She shook her head, feeling overwhelmed and at a true loss. And she really, really needed to get out of there. She could never think straight in his presence. "You should go back to Shelly," she said, turning to leave.

He grabbed her by the arms to stop her. "Please don't leave me again," he cried out desperately. "I don't want Shelly, ok. I want you. I still love you, Peyton. I never stopped."

Her heart beating fast, she shook her head, refusing to look at him. "Well, maybe I stopped," she told him, causing his hands to drop to his sides. "I'm sorry."

"Fine, go back to Lucas then," he seethed. "And thanks for the hand job."

She rushed out of his room, her heart and mind too clouded to even clash. They were both equally messed up.

He stood alone in the room, taking in what she'd just said. This encounter meant nothing. She was testing Rachel's snapping theory. She was going back to Lucas. She didn't love him anymore.

In one swift gesture, his arm swept across his dresser, sending all his trophies crashing to the floor, some of them breaking to pieces. Just like his heart.

"Well I see those anger management classes are working wonders," Dan said sarcastically from the doorway.

"Leave me alone," Nathan grumbled. He didn't want to deal with anybody right now.

"I would but, are you just gonna let her take off walking like that? It's almost midnight."

"What can I do about it? She's the one who left. Why'd you send Shelly up here anyway?"

"To stomp out any last bit of hope she had for the two of you," Dan replied easily. "No sense stringing her along when you can't let go of the other one. Now do the right thing and drive her home."

Nathan sighed, finished dressing and headed out the door.

He found her a few blocks away and pulled to the side. "Get in," he ordered.

"I don't need a ride," she stated as she kept walking.

"Fine, but I just gonna follow you all the way home."

"And if I'm not going home?" she challenged.

"I'll still follow wherever you go so you may as well get in."

She could tell he meant what he said so she resigned to do as he said.

"Where to?" he asked once she was in.

"Home."

He drove in silence, too angry and upset with her to speak. She didn't speak either, her emotions too muddled at this point.

Larry and Ellie were sitting on the porch when the car pulled up. Seeing them, Nathan didn't bother waiting until she was inside, but simply drove off as soon as she closed her door.

"You were with Nathan?" Larry questioned needlessly. "Where's Luke?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Peyton answered, going right past them into the house.

"You see?" Larry said to Ellie. "She spends time with Nathan, she comes home crying. It's been like that for the past year. More," he added angrily. "Damn that Scott kid."

"Mind if I go talk to her?" Ellie asked him.

"Be my guest. I'm sure not in the right frame of mind to cheer her up."

–––––

Peyton was crying uncontrollably when Ellie went up, her entire body racking with the intensity of her sobs. Ellie's heart broke for her right then and there. She went over to the bed and wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulder, pulling her close to her side.

"Luke left 8 messages and 4 texts," Peyton said, holding her phone in front of her. "All while I was with Nathan. Guess that officially makes me the worst girlfriend on the planet."

"What happened?"

"We almost slept together. The only reason we didn't is because we got interrupted. Luke deserves so much better than that. He's such a great guy and I…I just cheated on him without a moment's thought."

"You're still in love with Nathan."

"That doesn't matter. It doesn't make what I did right," Peyton said.

"No, it doesn't," Ellie agreed. "But you can still make things right."

"How? I can't take it back."

"Do you want to?"

Peyton closed her eyes shamefully. "Not really," she admitted softly. "Being with Nathan again…I just miss him so much. It's like, I lose my head when I'm with him. Like one touch completely wipes away all brain function. I'm so freaking weak when it comes to him, it's almost laughable. Except it's not funny."

"You're not that weak," Ellie countered. "You were strong enough to stand up to him and break things off. Don't short change yourself, ok."

Peyton nodded as hot tears continued to fall down her cheeks.

"Now, you're gonna have to decide whether you're going to take Nathan back or stay with Lucas. Or neither."

"I can't go back to Nathan."

"Why's that?"

"Besides all the drama, the cheating, the lying, the fighting, my dad totally hates him. You know that. And I know it's not up to him, but it's nice being with a guy that he approves of. You know? And he sooo loves Lucas."

"You're not kidding," Ellie joked. "He's already pegged him as his future son in law."

"I know," Peyton acknowledged. "Rachel doesn't think I should go back to Nathan either. She thinks I've given him too many chances as it is."

"Sounds like there's not much love loss between those two," Ellie pointed out.

"Actually, they're friends, believe it or not," Peyton said. When Ellie became quiet, Peyton asked her what her advice would be.

Ellie looked at her a moment before replying. "I think it's easy to hand out advice when you don't have to live with the consequences," she said. "No offence to your father or Rachel. They both want what's best for you, but sometimes what's best is debatable."

Peyton's eyes narrowed in wonder. "So you're saying you don't think I'd be crazy to go back to Nathan?"

"It doesn't matter what I think."

"It does to me."

"Ok, well, from what I've heard, you did the right thing by ending it when you did. But from what I've seen, in the short time I've been here, is that you're both crazy about each other. That's not to say I condone his past behavior," she emphasized. "Cheating is wrong whether it's him doing it or you."

Peyton looked down guiltily.

"But I do believe he genuinely cares about you," she said. "The eyes don't lie."

Peyton swallowed the lump in her throat, the horrible things she'd said to Nathan tonight flashing through her mind. She couldn't honestly say she'd done it for any other reason but fear. As much as she missed and loved him, it was scary to know how easily he could still get to her. And if she let that happen, how long before they fell back into the same old habits?

"But, at the end of the day," Ellie went on. "It's your decision to make. Nobody else can make it for you. And onto a lighter note, I got two front row seats to Travis tomorrow night. You interested?"

"Yeah," Peyton replied with a nod. "I'll get to take in an awesome band and get out of Mouth's party, therefore avoiding both Scott brothers." Ellie threw her a stern look so she added, "Just until I figure stuff out. I don't think I could face either of them right now."

As promised, Nathan dropped her keys off in the morning. He didn't call or knock at her door, simply left them in her mail box like he said he would. And then he went off to the center, still reeling from his and Peyton's encounter the night before.

Nothing much productive happened at the center. At Mitch's insistence, Nathan sat in on the counseling session between him and Tommy, but unlike the previous day, the boy's lips were sealed. Not a sound came out of his mouth. Except for the moment Mitch stepped out to retrieve a file.

Again Nathan had to wonder about it, but he had his own set of problems to deal with right now. He wasn't a counselor here. Let them deal with this. Eventually Mitch sent him off to paint again, which was fine with Nathan. That way he could just sulk by himself as he'd done the whole night.

Peyton was almost giddy when she arrived at Ellie's before the concert.

Ellie eyed her quizzically. "Well, this is a pleasant change from last night," she stated. "Did you hit it big on the lottery or something?"

"It feels like it," Peyton responded. "I thought a lot about what you said last night," she began. "About how I need to make my own choice."

"And?"

"And, I made a decision," she said with finality. "Some people might not approve but it doesn't matter. I'm the one who's got to live with it and I'm the one who's standing in my own way of what I want." She took a deep breath before continuing. "So, I'm just gonna do it."

"It being?"

"I'm going back to Nathan," Peyton said quickly before she lost her nerve.

Ellie cocked an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's the right move?"

"Honestly? No," Peyton admitted. "I mean, chances are nothing will have changed. But, I don't know, I've been with him and I've been without him, and yeah, they've both been hard, but the idea of never being with him again…" She closed her eyes to wade off tears. "I just can't do it anymore. So, the hell with it," she said enthusiastically. "I just won't."

"So, you got all this from our little talk last night? Because I certainly didn't mean that you should go back to a destructive relationship."

"Well, hopefully it won't be," Peyton countered optimistically. "But, to answer your question, it wasn't all because of our talk. There may have been a certain song playing on the radio while I was driving over here…"

"Aha!" Ellie exclaimed in understanding. "Well, let's hear it," she added, extending her hand.

"What?"

"Don't what me," Ellie rebuked. "If you're anything like me, and I'm pretty sure you are, you hear a song that hits home and you immediately detour to the nearest music store to buy it."

Peyton smiled and excitedly reached into her purse, pulling out a CD, still in its wrapper, and handed it the older blonde.

"Taylor Swift," Ellie read. "You know, she's not much older than you."

"I know. Ninth song."

"That's the way I loved you?" Ellie asked to make sure, to which Peyton bobbed her head. So Ellie inserted the CD and skipped over to the ninth song as both girls listened closely to the lyrics being played.

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
Never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

Peyton's eyes shone brightly as the song ended. "I swear she was keeping tabs on our relationship," she said. "Because that song literally defines me and Nathan…wild, crazy, screaming, fighting, cursing, breaking down, coming undone. That was just so us. Completely insane but definitely a roller coaster kind of rush."

"Shall we replay the song?" Ellie joked about Peyton repeating all the lyrics. "It's called passion, dear."

Peyton nodded. "And I want it back."

"And Lucas is the sensible and incredible guy that you're comfortable with?"

Again Peyton nodded. "I can't fault Lucas anything," she admitted. "He's a great guy, sweet and considerate, but…he's not Nathan. I'm not in love with him. It probably seems like I haven't really given him a chance but I know what's in my heart."

"You're gonna have to tell him."

"I know," Peyton replied nervously. "I was thinking I could talk to Luke after the concert tonight and then Nathan tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?"

"Well, first off, I want to do things right this time and actually end things with Lucas before I start them with Nathan again. And second, I need to plan out what I'm gonna say because, after some of the things I said last night, I'm not so sure Nathan will be all that receptive to hear me out."

"I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Yeah. I just hope he listens. He's pretty stubborn sometimes. And I hope Lucas and Haley understand and we can all be friends still."

"What does Haley have to do with it?"

"Well, she kinda called me out on why I was dating Lucas. She thought I might be trying to get back at Nathan or using Lucas as a fall-back cushion. I denied it, but she was right. I should have never agreed to it. Not that I don't care about Luke, but it's just not the same. I just hope that one week of dating didn't ruin our friendship."

"I guess you'll find out tonight."

"Yep. What's funny?" she asked when Ellie started chuckling.

"Oh, nothing. I just thought I was the only one crazy enough to make important decisions based on a song."

Peyton laughed with her and shook her head. "Nope. I broke up with Nathan because of a song too. And like you said, it was the right thing to do at the time. Music never steers you wrong."

"Now that would depend on the song," Ellie teased. "For instance, I'm up on a steep cliff, I'm not gonna jump just because Van Halen tells me to."

They giggled together for several minutes and then hopped in Ellie's car to head to the concert.

"Yo, Luke, where's your girl at?" Skills asked at the party when he and Bevin walked up.

"Oh, she went to a concert with her mom," Lucas replied. "She'll be here later."

"Good, good. Maybe she can get Hales here to loosen up a bit."

Haley rolled her eyes at her friend. "Hales is doing just fine, thanks. Can't say the same for you though. How many has that been now?" she asked, eyeing his red cup.

"Don't matter. It's a damn party, girl. We're here to have fun. How 'bout you do a round with your boy, Skills?"

"Uh, no. I'd kinda like to keep my head. But you carry on."

"I will," he said, walking away in amusement.

"You know," Lucas said after Skills had gone. "It wouldn't hurt you to just have one."

"Oh, you should talk there, water boy. Even my soda's harder than that."

Luke laughed at her. "Well, I was sorta thinking I'd be designated driver tonight, in case Peyton wants to drink."

"Aww, how sweet," Haley teased. "Taking responsibility so your girlfriend can get trashed. Just don't take advantage," she added with a pointed finger.

–––––

"You want me to wait?" Ellie asked.

"If you don't mind," Peyton replied. She could use all the moral support she could get.

"I don't mind at all. Good luck."

"Thanks. I hate this part."

"Just be honest with him. It's all you can do."

Peyton nodded, taking a deep breath before making her way to the doorstep.

–––––

"Oh hey, there you are!" Luke exclaimed when he saw her.

"Hey," she replied. "Can we talk outside?" she asked, wasting no time.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed, slipping an arm around her shoulder unsuspectingly.

–––––

Nathan spotted her the moment she walked in and frowned when she went directly to Lucas. He glared at them as they exited. And he'd never hated Lucas more than at that very moment.

Katie Sanders, who'd unsuccessfully attempted to get his attention all evening, stomped her foot in vexation. "Are you ever gonna let her go already? She dumped you, remember?" Damn she was tired of Peyton always snagging his attention. Even though they weren't together, he was still hung up on her. What the hell did Peyton have that she didn't?

Nathan scowled at her. "If I did, it wouldn't be for you," he said harshly. He was so damn tired of her acting like she should mean more to him than she did. She was nothing but a whore as far as he was concerned. And he hadn't lied that day he'd told Lucas that he was tired of her. He'd been trying to shake her off all evening but she wasn't getting the picture. She was a dumb whore. Maybe straight out rudeness would get rid of her.

It did. At least for now. She stomped off, cursing him and guys in general. It didn't bother him any. He had other things to think about.

Like revenge.

And he knew exactly how to get it. His gaze focused on Haley James.

'Stay away from Haley,' Lucas had told him on Thursday. He smiled as an idea formed in his head. Lucas hadn't heeded his warnings to stay away from Peyton so why should he listen to his?

It was time to settle the score.

He gulped back the rest of his drink and made his way over to the brunette just as Damien was doing the same. He noticed Damien hand her a can of coke, which she accepted with a polite smile.

For a moment he considered backing off for his friend's sake, but the alcohol he'd consumed impaired his judgment and the promise of revenge was just too sweet to ignore. He could almost taste it.

To his surprise, victory came a lot sooner than he thought.

An hour later they were in a bedroom and he was slipping on a condom and pressing into her as she writhed beneath him.

Payback was just around the corner.

And he couldn't wait.

A/N: Sorry guys. Again, don't hate me, please. More details of the party will come out in flashbacks in the upcoming chapters.

Song: Taylor Swift, That's The Way I Loved You