A/N; Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews and support so far! Love reading all your reviews, so please, keep them coming and let me know what you think of the chapters! Hope you guys enjoy this one! Thanks again -MySeLdomPhantom
A few weeks had gone by since AJ and Punk had hooked up, if that was a correct term to use. Their sneaking around was very much as lowkey as they could possibly make it. Some nights it wasn't possible for AJ to sneak out, which really gave her a taste of how sad she was when she wasn't with Punk. They had both agreed to do this, to commit to one another in secrecy. She hated facing Jamie in the mornings, or feeling him kiss her lips that Punk hadn't long kissed. She felt like a teenager playing with the strings of two very independent men. She couldn't leave Punk alone, yet she didn't have the heart to hurt Jamie, who she still claimed to love, even though Punk seen right through.
She carried on like normal during the day, which she found rather easy. Too easy, considering she was having an affair. Some days she felt awful, some days she felt good and proud of herself, and some days she just wanted the world to go away.
She couldn't believe she was actually having an affair behind her husbands back. She never would have thought of doing such a thing, until she laid eyes on Punk, until he touched her and made her happy. They hadn't just been having sex believe it or not, even though that had played a big role in their sneaking around. They'd gotten to know each other. They weren't knowledgeable about everything in each other lives, but each day they learned something new, and most importantly, they enjoyed being with one another. Whenever she was doubting herself and her unfaithful ways, he would convince her that it was ok, and he had her back. And she trusted him. She never felt safer than when she was in his arms.
They were good at keeping things normal when in public. She'd receive nothing but a secret wink when passing her in the morning when they left for work. Whenever he seen her with Jamie, he'd say his hello's and move on by. They were good at keeping their secret, a secret.
Punk had to admit, he did wish that she wasn't married sometimes, and that they weren't having an affair. Not because sometimes, he did feel guilty at this point, but because he really wanted her to be his. He'd never felt this way about a girl, and of course, his developing feelings for the only girl he'd ever looked at and seen a future with, was tied up in a marriage next door. It was typical. All he could do was remind himself was that he was too focused on his job to have a relationship anyway. Even though he would have made time for AJ in a heartbeat.
Getting to know her over these past few weeks was like a new adventure in his life. He was legitimately interested in finding out more about her. He enjoyed listening to her stories whilst they lay in bed together. He could listen to her talk about her life on the rough side of New Jersey as a child all day long. Just like she adored to listen to him talking about his time training to be a cop. It was something she didn't have with Jamie. Whenever she would talk about stories or even just memories with Jamie, he wouldn't even listen to her. She hadn't even realised that he did until she watched Punk really listen to her the way Jamie was supposed to.
Everything was all making sense now. Punk was making sense to her. He was right. The only reason she was built up on this idea that her and Jamie were the perfect couple, was because she had no idea what it felt like to really be loved, she thought what she had with Jamie was it.
She was stuck in a sticky situation. Punk would frequently ask her if she'd tell Jamie about what was going on with them, or if she'd leave him, and she could never give him an honest answer. She still cared about Jamie. She had no right to say that after what she had been doing behind his back these past few weeks, but she did still care about him, and she didn't want to hurt his feelings. But she knew she couldn't do this forever with Punk. But it was working for just now, until she figured out what she could do.
"Where are you off to?" Punk turned around after hearing a faint cough whilst he was in the midst of putting out his trash, turning to see AJ standing in a dress, hair and make-up done to perfection. Not that she needed it, he much preferred her with no make-up and her hair naturally sprawled all over the place, but she did look beautiful, "You look..."
"April, have you got the keys?" Jamie asked whilst closing the front door over as Punk turned, silencing himself.
"Yeah." AJ nodded whilst still keeping her eyes on Punk. She hated seeing him die a little inside when seeing her with Jamie. But surely he had to expect that. She could see in his eyes that he was getting more and more frustrated with the fact he couldn't have her all of the time, and the fact he had to pretend she was nothing when in the streets.
She wasn't actually sure what she meant to him, nor did he know what he meant to her. She knew he was hopeless with women, and knowing that she was changing him, keeping him on his toes with her, she enjoyed that, but she hated that he had to be so restrained from her a lot. They were addicted to one another, and they wanted each other, but things were just… at a standstill just now.
"We're going to a party." She said quietly as he nodded, watching Jamie approach her, wrapping his arm around her waist tightly.
"You alright, Phil?" Jamie nodded as Punk nodded back.
"Yeah." Punk smiled, "Have a good time." He saluted them, walking away to go back into his house, turning back as he watched her turn back too in the midst of walking down the path to their car. He hated seeing him with her. He knew that he was decent. He could have been a hell of a lot worse. He clearly loved her, it was obvious, he just didn't know how to express that love in the right way, the way he could. She'd been so fixed on him for so long, she'd not gotten a chance to go out and experiment, to know what was right from wrong. He hoped she was understanding what felt right from wrong now.
He had to ignore his feelings for her. He agreed with her that they'd keep this on the down low, and that she'd continue her life with Jamie. He always accepted her decision to keep their affair private, but he was starting to develop strong feelings for her. He'd watch her sleep beside him, he could do it all day. He could listen to her all day, as well as tell her everything he'd ever done. He trusted her more than he trusted himself. It was insane but true.
He just had to keep his feelings at bay and continue with what they were doing. They agreed from day one to do this and do it in secrecy without stirring anything. He just had to tell himself that she was just his side chick, his late night fuck (which she totally wasn't). She was so much more.
"A married chick?!" Dean exclaimed, round at Punks house later that night since AJ was clearly off into town with her husband. He felt like he could talk to Dean about his situation. He trusted him, and he wasn't so great with women himself, "How long for?" He asked whilst sitting on Punks sofa with a beer, a pizza box sitting opened on the coffee table with a few slices left over.
"About two months." Punk told him, "I'd barely moved in and she was on me." He admitted.
"What's the deal with her? Is she unhappily married or?"
"Well I think so. I don't know anymore." He shook his head, "She claims to love being with me, but still refuses to admit that she doesn't love her husband." He said.
"Maybe she does love her husband." Dean shrugged.
"Then why would she be coming round to my house and riding my dick all night long then? Tell me that?" He tested as Dean laughed.
"I see what's happening here..." He smiled as Punk grunted already before he even spoke, "You like her, you wish she wasn't married. You want more, don't you?" Dean smiled.
"C'mon, Dean. You know me, alright. I'm not one to pin point girls and fall in love. But she's amazing. She...she understands me, she gets me more than I get myself. She's comforting, and she is beautiful." He admitted, thinking about her in his head for a minute, imagining her laughing as she sat on his bed, hitting him with a pillow as she would collapse on him with a smile. A smile like she'd never smiled before.
"Does she feel the same?" Dean asked.
"She tells me she does. But she still insists on us keeping it quiet, because she doesn't want to hurt her husband. I… I'm trying to forget about it. I'm trying to focus on the cases I'm looking at, and just having her strictly for sex and meaningless conversations. But nothing she does with me is meaningless." He said, collapsing back against the couch, placing his hands over his face and groaning loudly as if in pain.
"You gotta talk to her, unless you can do what you said, just try and forget about it, treat her like she is just a girl you're having an affair with." He shrugged.
"I don't want to do that." He admitted, "But I don't want to lose her."
"Do you even have her?" Dean laughed as Punk turned to him, "You said it yourself. She's still insisting on staying with her husband. She's clearly messing with you both. I bet you any money that when she leaves your bed, she goes straight into his and sucks his dick. Lets face it, you don't know her. You don't know what she is like."
"I do know what she's like, Dean." Punk said defensively, "She's stuck in a relationship she's scared of leaving because it's all she's ever known since she was a teenager. And I don't know how I can get her to leave him." He sighed whilst resting his head on the cushion behind him, "What the fuck do I do?"
"If she's the one that wants to keep it as an affair, then treat her like it's a damn affair." He suggested, "If the bitch doesn't have the balls to leave her guy, then she shouldn't be afforded you being sweet to her." He said.
"Don't call her a bitch. You don't know her." He whispered defensively. He supposed Dean was right. Maybe the best way to deal with all of these thoughts, was to ignore them, and continue with their 'affair.'
AJ had gotten home from the party she had gone to, in request of Jamie. It was some guy at his work's birthday, and she was told to put on something pretty and join him to the party. She really didn't want to be there, especially when she sat herself the entire time whilst Jamie travelled the different tables to talk to everyone.
They finally got home, where Jamie, drunk and tired, passed out on the sofa in the living room. It was times like these where she compared him to Phil. If she joined Phil to a party, he'd be sober from his straight edge ways he'd told her about these past months, which she admired so much, and he'd make sure she'd be home with him safe and sound, he'd put her to bed, kiss her head and tell her how beautiful she was tonight, and how much he enjoyed her being with him.
It wasn't that Jamie was doing anything wrong, he just wasn't doing anything. And she hadn't noticed until Phil had opened her eyes up to it all.
She had text Punk on the ride home to tell him she was coming over. She knew Jamie would pass out since he was already falling asleep in the car. She needed to fall into his arms tonight and be told how much she was worth.
She took her heels off, stepping out of her house, bare foot, dress still on, hair now a strangling beautiful mess the way she knew he loved. The ground was cold on her bare feet. She quietly and quickly knocked on his door as he immediately opened up.
"Hey." She smiled at the sight of him, walking on into the house as he shut the door behind her, following her into the living room as she stood looking on at all the paper work around on the sofa. He'd clearly been working the entire night after Dean left.
"Are you too busy to..." She turned to him as he shook his head.
"No, no because I drop everything for you, don't I? The way you do for me." He stared across at her as she shook her head with confusion.
"What?" AJ looked at him bluntly.
"I don't know how long I can do this with you..."
"Wait a minute..." AJ raised her hand, "You encouraged this with me." She reminded him, "Don't you dare." She warned him, "You knew what you were getting into."
"Yeah, I did. But I didn't know you'd still be so stupid to stay with him, April. What are we gonna do? Stay like this forever? Fuck each other and then meet each other in the street and pretend we don't know one another?" He asked.
"I just need some time."
"How much time?" He asked.
"This isn't easy for me, you know." She told him, "You think I want to be doing this to you? I see you changing for me, I see you die every time you see me with him, and I hate it. But I can't hurt him, Phil. He doesn't deserve it." She said sincerely.
Even after just a few months of them hooking up and being acquainted with one another, they were clearly both hit by strong feelings for one another, and she understood his frustration.
"So what are you gonna do, April?" He asked.
"Why do you care so much? You're a man. Just accept it and let me figure it all out." She said. It was wrong of her to say, that just because he was a man, he should have just got on with it and enjoyed the sex whilst she done the worrying. But she had no idea how much he really cared about her. Their connection was instant. Just like their love.
She watched him as he took a hold of her shoulders, roughly pushing her against the nearest wall as she looked up at him with fear.
"Don't act like you know what I want." He spat, his face close to hers as she looked up at him, swallowing loudly, breathing heavily as his chest pressed against hers, "You want this to be an affair? Fine. That's all it will be." He told her as she frowned, "Oh, now you're sad." He grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head as she looked into his eyes, "I don't know what else I can do, for you to see sense." He said as she looked up at him, grinding her body against his. His sharp and meaningful words tingled her full body. Even when angry, he had her feeling weak at the knees.
"I don't want it to just be an affair." She told him, "I just need time." She said as he shook his head.
"I don't really have time for anything other than affair with you anyway." He said coldly as she didn't believe him. She knew him already, and she knew when he was lying. Dean's words had got to his head, and he had realised himself that it was just ridiculous to expect her to finish things with her husband. From now on, they'd just have an affair, and he'd push his developing feelings aside. He had too much work to focus on. Who was he kidding anyway? He'd never be the relationship type of guy. He'd spent so much time telling her to stop wishing on false hope, when he had been doing just that.
"Phil..." She whispered, not wishing for him to say all these things.
"Shh." He told her, roughly pressing his lips against hers, trailing the kiss down to her neck, hiking her up the wall as he legs circled around his waist. Her head rolled back against the wall whilst he nipped and licked at the nape of her neck, sending shivers down her spine.
This was really messing them up. Big time.
10 REVIEWS = New Chapter.