Chapter Forty-Six

Admissions and Conditions

For ten minutes he has been pacing this hallway. We've been here for ages. I feel like sighing, but I am too nervous to make a noise. It's obvious he's meeting someone, and I think I know who. I hope I'm wrong.

After so long of him doing nothing, it startles me when James moves. He slumps against the wall, sighing, and slides to the ground. I wish I could do that, but this hallway is too silent. It's kind of eery.

James pulls something out of his pocket. It's some sort of parchment. At first I think it's our Family Parchment, but then I really see it. It's the Marauders Map. I get tingles just being near it. It's been a huge part of my family's history, I've been told bedtime stories about it. Then again, I grew up to stories about this cloak too, and now I'm wearing it!

Suddenly James, seeing something on the map, stands and tucks it back into his pocket.

I wish I could say I'm surprised when I see her... but I'm not. I am, however, disappointed.

Hailey Frockler strides down the hallway like she owns it. Her dark hair flying out behind her, her high heels smacking the floor, making so much noise I'm scared we'll get caught. Or they will anyway. James glares at her and she smiles sweetly back.

"Jamsie!" She coos, batting her eyelashes. I pray silently that they aren't actually together. That would break Rikki's heart no matter what she says. Luckily James looks as disgusted by her as I am. I'm so confused right now ...

"What do you want, Frockler? I did what you asked, what more do you want?" He asks. Merlin, why is he so cryptic, I want answers!

"Oh James, babe, I was only trying to help you, don't be mad. And you followed through. Yay. Now I only want one more tiny little thing-"

"No chance. No fucking way. There's nothing else I can give to you, nothing else I can do. My own sister already hates me for crying out loud! So - no - I will not-" She cuts him off this time, her butter-won't-melt tone being replace by something venomous and cruel.

"You will do whatever I ask James. Or I could ruin you. And your family. How would you like them to know that it was you who told me about Louis and his little girlfriend, hm? Or that you are the reason I am out to destroy them in the first place?" She grins, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"I'm starting to think about telling them myself anyway Frockler, so you have no-"

"How about I put it this way, Potter. You do what I ask or the whole school find out that Molly is knocked up?" She steps closer to him. His jaw twitched but he says nothing. She smiles again, "I want you to find me a story for Monday's paper. A Potter-Weasley story. And make it a good one. If it isn't then I'm printing the Molly story. Meet me here tomorrow at noon?"

"You are a horrible, disgusting human being, Hailey Frockler. And I wish I'd never spoken to you." He growls. For a second Frockler's smirk falters, her face falls. And I see a glimpse of a girl long gone, a girl who was quiet and well spoken.

"Sometimes, Potter, I wish that too." She mutters. Then she catches herself, grins again and says loudly with her usual confidence, "So I'll take that as a yes then, huh Hun?" Then she cackles, literally cackles, and saunters back down the hall. James groans and sinks to the ground again with his head in his hands.

"What have I done?" He groans to himself. I pull off the cloak and sit down against the wall across from him. He looks tired. He looks up at me shocked, but doesn't jump or anything.

"Yeah, James, What have you done?" I look at him sadly. There's a short silence. A pause, and I remember something I haven't thought of in years.

*Flashback*

I'm eight. And I've stolen 10-year-old James' broom. I watch him fly from my bedroom window all the time, and I so deperately want to try it. Mum says I'm not allowed to though, until I'm 10 too. But I can't wait that long.

Mum's at training, and Dad's in the kitchen with Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione. Rose, Al, Hugo and James are in the middle of a game of Hide'n'Seek that I wasn't invited to play. I'm alone in the back garden.

I straddle the broom, like I've seen James and my parents do so many times, and kick off from the ground. But I over-compensate and shoot into the air. I scream, but our garden is huge and I'm rather quiet.

I angle my body forward, slowly, and edge to the ground still screaming.

James- who had been hiding in one of the rose bushes- runs out.

"Lily. What are you doing!" He shouts. I keep screaming. "Okay, Lils, just stop moving!" I stop moving.

"Help, James!" I squeal.

"Lily,lean forward a little bit." I try, I do, but then I fall.

He catches me. I know, really, that I have only fallen about 5 feet, but it felt like 50. I burst into tears.

James comforts me, scolds me a bit, and kisses my forehead.

"Promise you won't do that again, Lil?" He asks sternly. Even at 10 he bosses me about like he's a grown up, but I don't really mind.

"Okay. Are you going to tell Mum and Dad?" I whimper.

"It's our secret,Sis." He promises.

*End Flashback*

I still hate riding on brooms.

That James, who loved and looked after me, is the brother I miss. But I haven't seen him in a long while, just glimpses here and there. I wonder why, as my heart aches for that James. This James pulls me back to reality.

"You followed me." He states.

"I did."

"You have the Cloak." He observes, pointing at my invisible legs. I am just a floating torso.

"You have the Map." I point out, half-smiling.

"Yeah, but I doubt you stole the cloak, so when did Dad give you it?" I sigh, not answering his question. He looks down sadly.

"What did you do James? What did she mean it's your fault? Why have you been working for her?!" I ask, getting progressively angrier.

"Let's go somewhere else and talk-"

"No! I'm fed up waiting around, avoiding the question. I want answers and I want them now!" James sighs, he's been doing a lot of that tonight.

"Okay. Okay. I- I guess it started when I - I slept with Frockler." He admits, looking at the floor in shame. He should be ashamed!

"Ew. You slept with Frockler!?" I exclaim, though I'm not particularly shocked.

"In fourth year,not now! She was- she was sort of my first and I kind of - I - I was a dick. I was horrible. That's why she wants revenge. I lied, told her I wanted to be with her, and then broke her heart. She was sad and now ... she's someone else." He tells me. I shake my head unable to speak.

"Okay. I understand that part, but why are you now working for her? Why are you one of her little spies? You gave her her articles: Me and Caleb, Mel and Louis, Molly's baby, Al hitting me accidentily - why would you-"

"Merlin, Lily, haven't you been listening? I am not one of her spies. I told her about Louis' girlfriend but that was an accident! She's been blackmailing me ever since, making me choose who's secret gets revealed. And I'm sorry but-" I suddenly feel bad, for assuming the worst of my brother. And I had really truly believed it too.

"You had no other choice. I get it. She'd been doing the same to me. I'm sorry James." I whisper.

"Why? I'm still the same person who told mum and dad about your boyfriend, who didn't talk to you for months, who hurt Rikki, and was horrible to Rose. I'm still a heart-breaking, lying, disappointing piece of scum." He says bitterly. It sounds like he's quoting. I shoot him a questioning look. "That's what Rikki called me when I - you know. And she's right."

"Why did you dump Rikki? I thought you liked her. She thought it was going well." James looks at me, shaking his head bitterly.

"Frockler told me to. Played the "Molly Card"."

"Yeah. Damn Molly." I joke. He cracks a smile.

"How is she anyway? She hasn't really been talking to me recently." I nod. Molly was definitely on my side.

"She's OK. Less stressed since she told everyone. Now she's just trying to get her head around the fact that she's having a baby." I tell him. He looks at me curiously. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing... So." He looks uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable.

"So."

"Am I forgiven?" He asks hopefully, looking at the floor. I stand, wanting to feel taller than him for a moment. He stands too, so it doesn't work.

"On two conditions." I tell him.

"Anything, Lil." He looks like he means it.

"Firstly, you really need to apologise to Rose." He sighs.

"Of course I'll apologise for what I said, but c'mon Lily - Scorpius Malfoy. What is she thin-" I cut him off sharply.

"I don't know what she's thinking James, but whatever it is, it's her choice. She can be with whomever she wants and that isn't your decision, James." I snap. Reluctantly, he nods.

"Okay. What's your second condition?"

"You call a family meeting and you tell everyone what's been going on. Hopefully everyone will feel comfortable with revealing their secrets so that we know what we're dealing with." I tell him. There is a long pause while he looks hesitant, "You have a problem with that?"

"No, I'm all for honesty." He tells me, "But since it hasn't been me telling Frocklerall of our secrets, it's someone else in our family. Everyone admitting their secrets could be really bad." He suggests. I hadn't thought of that.

"True. But they are still our family and they deserve to know. We need to be honest, and we need to do it right. Those are my conditions." I state, finality in my tone.

"Well then, I accept." He half-smiles.

He holds out his hand - twice the size of mine- and I shake it once. He squeezes my hand once.

"I miss you Lil." He whispers.

"I miss you too, Jamie."

And my guard that I didn't know I had comes down. A single tear that I've been trying so hard to old back slides down my cheek and James pulls me into his arms. I bury my face into his chest and breathe in his familiar smell.

I have missed James. For all his faults, he's been my rock for my whole life. He caught me when I fell. He was - he is - my big brother.