I sat in my bed, staring at the wall as the clock on my dressing ticked. Time. Why am I the one that gets more of it? What did I ever do to deserve that?

tick

I flinched as my door cracked open and my father stepped in. He was quiet, studying me before saying anything. He was always careful about his words, which was probably why his video message gave so many people hope when my mom aired it on the Ark channel.

"Hey, kiddo. It's Unity Day, why are you spending it all alone and in the dark?" He asked. I didn't tear my eyes away from the clock.

tick

Jasper and Monty were probably going through intake right now. I remember how terrified I felt, getting shoved into a cell with no way out. I felt hopeless. They probably felt hopeless.

tick

What was the point of having more time if I couldn't use it to save the people I loved? It shouldn't be this difficult to protect everyone from events we are already aware of. Why didn't Bellamy try harder? Why didn't he tell me?

My dad followed my gaze to the clock and slowly made his way over to it to turn it off. It froze at 9:36am.

"Talk to me, sweetie." He said, taking a seat on the end of the bed. I folded my hands in my lap and hung my head.

"Do you believe in second chances?" I asked him. He cracked a smile and rested his hand on mine. I noticed his watch, something that he'd given me just before he was floated. It was still ticking, he still had time.

"Yes, Clarke. Yes I do." He said, squeezing my hand a little before releasing it. I looked up at him for the first time and studied his face. I'd almost forgotten what he looked like after being on the ground for so long.

"Do you believe that it's possible to fix what you've done in the past?" I asked him. The question probably sounded stupid, but I needed his advice on this, I needed him to understand.

"You shouldn't focus on the past. Turn your attention to the future instead. It's not good to dwell on things that are out of your control." He said. I bit my lip and nervously scratched my arms. But the past was in my control now, I had to focus on it.

"What's bothering you?" He asked. I desperately wanted to tell him everything, but I couldn't. Even if he believed me, it would just lead to chaos. He'd probably go and tell the Ark everything, they'd call us both lunatics and our fates would be the same: I would be locked away until they sent us to the ground and he would be floated.

"It's nothing. Thank you for your advice." I said, leaning in to hug him. He wrapped his arms around me and I never felt more safe.

"If you ever need to talk, about anything, you know where to find me." He said as he pulled away. I nodded as my eyes welled up with tears. It was dark enough that he didn't notice.

"Your mother and I are going to the mess hall for the Unity Day ceremony. Are you coming?" He asked as he opened the door. I shook my head and laid back down in bed.

"Maybe later, I just want to be alone for awhile." I replied.

"Alright, see you later kiddo. I love you." He said.

"I love you too."

After several hours of contemplating whether or not to leave my bed, I decided to head over to the Blakes to spend the rest of the evening with Octavia. The odds were that Bellamy was out on patrol and Aurora was out partying with the rest of the Ark, so I could spend some alone time with her. I needed to get my mind off of all of the pain running through my head.

It was difficult looking at her now, knowing that the last thing she ever said to me on the ground was that we were done. I don't blame her, I should have warned her about the Ton DC bomb but I left her to die. That wasn't my best moment, but I had faith in Lexa and I needed to keep Bellamy safe at all costs.

Bellamy and I hadn't really talked about the Ton DC bomb. I was sure Octavia told him that I left her to die, but he hasn't treated me any differently. I don't understand it.

Soon enough I found myself at the Blake's doorstep. I knocked on the door three times, only to receive no answer. There wasn't anybody nearby so I took the opportunity to call out her name. Several minutes later, the door cracked open and a frightened Octavia invited me inside.

"Bellamy's not here." She said as she returned to her seat at the table. She was in the middle of sewing a beautiful navy dress.

"I didn't come to see Bellamy, I came to see you." I said, taking a seat across from her. She raised her eyebrow at me but then shrugged her shoulders. She was probably happy to have the company on a holiday that's supposed to be spent with family.

"You probably don't believe me, but we were close on the ground." I told her. She continued to sew, not looking me in the eyes.

"A lot of amazing things happened to you. Did Bellamy tell you?" I asked. She glanced up, her eyes now sparkling with curiosity,

"All he told me was that I got locked up for going to that ball, he snuck down on the dropship to protect me, there are survivors on the ground, and he shot the chancellor." She said. I smiled, thinking about all of the wonderful things that happened to her.

"Do you want to know?" I asked her.

"On one hand, yes, I'd like to know I had a life better than this, but on the other hand, I want to be surprised." She replied before taking a deep breath, "You can tell me one thing. Just one, that's it."

I sat there for a few moments, pondering what the best thing to tell her would be. I could tell her about Lincoln and how she fell in love, or about our relationship, or about the grounders. I glanced over at her as she sadly stitched the dress and I instantly knew what to tell her.

"You found where you belonged down there, with the grounders. They helped you find yourself. It was amazing watching you grow and learn from them. You could speak their language almost fluently, your hair was in these beautifully intricate braids, and you were amazing with a sword. But most of all, you were happy." I told her. She smiled, her cheeks turning a light pink color at the thought.

"Hey Clarke?" She asked.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think you could show me those braids?" She asked. I eagerly jumped out of my seat and let her hair fall into my hands. I tried to picture exactly what she looked like the day I left camp. The top of her hair was pulled back into a fishtail braid while the sides of her hair had tiny braids that flowed to the back of her head. I did the best I could to recreate them, but the grounders were much better at it than I was.

"Bellamy doesn't shut up about you." She said while I tugged on a braid. I stopped what I was doing, surprised by what she had said.

"I don't know what happened between you two last night, but my brother's a wreck. You should talk to him." She added. I knew that I couldn't avoid Bellamy forever, and I didn't want to, I just didn't know what to say. He let Jasper get locked up and didn't even bother to tell me. I needed some time to process it all and put myself back together.

"I'll figure it out tomorrow." I replied, continuing with her hair again.

"He told me about how you left him after Mount Weather too." She said, making my bones freeze with the memories. That was when I realized, right now I was doing exactly what I had done on the ground, avoiding Bellamy as a means to solve my problems. I was using him as a source to channel my anger towards, but that wasn't fair to him. All he did was try to keep me safe and happy, and look at the thanks got. If he treated me the way that I treated him for every shitty thing I've done, we'd never speak again. Instead he forgives me for everything.

"It was a mistake." I whispered, trying to hold back the tears. Octavia reached her hand back and gently placed it on mine.

"Don't make the same mistake again." She said softly. I squeezed her hand, so happy to have her back in my life. I wouldn't make the same mistake again.

The sound of a door opening shook me out of my sleep. I groggily tried to get a sense of where I was because I definitely wasn't in my room. Laying against me, sound asleep, was Octavia. We must have dozed off watching a movie on the Ark TV. Octavia's tiny body was pressed up against mine and I could feel her chest rise and fall. The bed was small, only a twin sized so we barely fit, but I was comfortable.

The person who'd come in the door was none other than Bellamy. He was in his guard uniform and he looked exhausted. He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. The light from the fridge shined on his tired eyes, causing him to squint. I watched him closely, careful not to let him know that I was awake. He leaned against the fridge, his eyes finding Octavia and I on Octavia's bed. He quietly set the glass down on the counter and approached us. I squeezed my eyes shut, still pretending that I was asleep when he came over and put a blanket over me. Octavia had been hogging all of the sheets, so it was nice to finally have some warmth.

I felt Bellamy's hands linger over me for a moment longer before he cleared his throat and pulled away. He brought down his bed, which was stored in the wall, and collapsed onto it. He didn't even bother taking off his guard uniform.

I rolled over onto my side to face him instead of Octavia. Octavia groaned and shifted her position when I released her, but she didn't wake up. I noticed how Bellamy's body was turned towards the wall. Despite that, I still felt better having him so close by. Not long after he laid down, he was fast asleep. I closed my eyes again, focusing on the sound of his breathing to help soothe me to sleep.

Octavia and I woke up simultaneously to the aroma of pancakes floating around the room. Bellamy was standing in the kitchen in nothing but his boxers and an old t-shirt baking the cakes. I giggled at the sight of him, swaying his hips as he traveling around the kitchen to get more cooking supplies. He was humming some song that I hadn't heard before and he was apparently in a very good mood.

"Are those homemade pancakes?" Octavia gasped, sitting up before I did. I rubbed my eyes and snuggled under the sheets. The bed shifted as Octavia climbed out and made her way into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I know they are expensive but I wanted to make them for you guys." He said, looking at me as he talked to her. I slowly climbed out of bed too and trudged sleepily into the kitchen. Octavia and I took seats at the counter across from him, watching as he tried to flip the pancakes in the air.

Once one of the pancakes were done, he set them on two plates and then reached in the fridge for some blueberries (another expensive food item on the Ark).

He took the blueberries, careful not to let us see what he was doing, and created something on the plates. Once he was done, he carefully placed it in front of me and one in front of Octavia's. He made a smiley face out of the fruit on Octavia's place which made her playfully take one and throw it at him. He caught the blueberry in his mouth and smirked at her while he chewed it. I looked down at my pancake, expecting another silly blueberry face, but finding a note instead. On the pancake, written in blue berries, it said 'I'm Sorry'

I glanced up from the pancakes with my mouth gaping open. I didn't know what to say or how to react.

"I'm going to go see if anything needs washed in mom's room." Octavia said, winking at me. I glared at her as she left the room, leaving me alone with her brother.

We were quiet for a moment, both just staring at each other with a loss for words. I noticed how he chewed on the inside of his lip when he was nervous. He tore his gaze away from me for a moment to collect himself and figure out the right words to say.

"I should have told you about Jasper, but I honestly thought there was nothing we could do. I had no idea when he started to get high that night so I couldn't stop it. I considered trying to convince him to leave but if he did, the guards would have caught him stumbling out. I truly am sorry, Clarke." He said, taking a seat next to me. I thought about everything he'd said for a moment. Bellamy wouldn't just let Jasper get arrested if there was a way to prevent it and it was stupid of me to even consider that for one second. I was about to forgive him, when he decided to drop a major bombshell on me.

"Plus I figured it would be good for the hundred to get locked up again. Then when we go down to Earth, only the three of us will have to sneak on the drop ship." Bellamy said. I dropped my fork, causing it to clang on the counter top.

"So that's your plan? You want the hundred to be sacrificially sent down to Earth again and you want Octavia and I to sneak onto the drop ship with you? Are you insane?" I screamed. Bellamy rolled his eyes and got up to clean some of the cooking supplies he had used.

"See, this is part of the reason why I didn't tell you." He mumbled as he put the extra blueberries away.

"We can't just make these decisions on our own. We were both sent back here together for a reason." I argued.

"Do you have any better ideas, princess?" He asked, slamming the fridge door shut. I hadn't thought that far ahead, I was more concerned about saving everyone from the pain on the Ark and preventing my father's execution.

"Well if you want the original hundred locked up so badly then why not let me get arrested?" I fought back in response. Bellamy rubbed his forehead in frustration.

"Because-"

"Because what, Bellamy?"

"Because I can't lose you, okay? Not again…" He whispered. I let my clenched fists unravel as Bellamy sunk down to the floor. I slowly got up from me seat and sat down next to him, allowing his head to fall on me shoulder.

"I'm sorry I left you." I said.

"I wanted to go with you. I was planning on going with you up until you asked me to take care of our people for you. It killed me to watch you walk away from everything we'd been through, but I stayed. I stayed back for you." He admitted. Tears of guilt started to prick in my eyes.

"You've forgiven me for so many horrible things, and here I am refusing to forgive you for one mistake. What's wrong with me?" I whimpered. Bellamy pulled me closer to him, sensing the sadness building up inside me.

"Octavia told you about what happened in Ton DC, didn't she?" I asked nervously.

"At first I was furious with you because Octavia is my life and you almost let her die, but the more I thought about it, the more I understood why you did it. If you evacuated Ton DC, the entire mission would be lost, and I would have died in the mountain along with all of our people. If the roles were reversed, I would have done whatever it took to protect you too." He said, looking into my eyes.

"You're not a murderer, Clarke. You always did what you had to do to protect your people. That's who you are." He said, echoing what I'd told him on the ground.

"Bellamy, I forgive you." I said, curling up closer to him. He let his cheek rest against my forehead.

"I forgive you too, princess."