But I'm A–!
The Huntzbergers have a different reason not to want Logan and Rory together.
PS: 'But I'm a Gilmore!' redone.
Obs: Incest Alert. For reals. . .
Notes:
"Words" – regular conversation
'Words' – quotes and such, thoughts too
Scenario 13 – Let It Rain
Lorelai has a little secret she never told anyone.
Rory was totally confused.
The moment she stepped into the Huntzberger's home, Logan's dad Mitchum was on her, asking her about her life, her family, her mom, it was pretty intrusive, and she was used to Stars Hollow's brand of friendly intrusiveness, but coming from a complete stranger that happened to her new boyfriend's intimidating boyfriend, it only made her a little scared.
And he kept asking about her mom, over and over.
'Jesus, man, back off, you've got a wife' – Rory thought, keeping up her politest smile in place, though glancing around the room, it was clear his behavior was far from normal and it was freaking everyone out, most of all Shira, his damn wife! Though Logan looked ready to pounce on his dad. Yeah, she was on his side, Mitchum needed to can it, fast, it was getting creepy.
Even as they walked to the dining room, Mitchum stuck to Rory's side and made her sit on his left, and didn't let her talk to anyone else, continuing to pepper her with question after question on what her mother was up to and, God, did he have to hold her hand that tight?
"I met your mother a long time ago, you know" – he suddenly said, just before dessert (and Rory wasn't sure how she survived so long).
"Really? She, hum, never mentioned it"
"Yes, I don't suppose she would have, no. Such a shame, she was a lively one" – he laughed all alone in the deadly silent room and didn't look like he cared at all.
"Yeap, that's– That's mom. Lively" – she looked sideways to Logan and sent him her best deadly stare, and though they had been together for all of a day, he was a smart boy.
"So dad! How's business?" – he tried to deflect the conversation, but Mitchum waved him off.
"Hush, Logan. Now, Rory, I understand you and my son have been together for a short time, is that so?"
"I– Yes, it hasn't been long at all"
"Right. Right! Ah, to be young. Yes, to be young" – he looked between the new couple and sighed – "It's unfortunate, but I'm afraid, Rory, that while you're a lovely girl, you two can't be together"
"What?" – Logan exclaimed – "What the hell, dad!"
"Logan" – Mitchum snapped – "Now, Rory, I know it's a shock to you, but you two? No good"
"I'm sorry, sir–"
"Please, call me 'Mitchum'"
"Er, okay. Mitchum. Look, I like your son, a lot, he's great, and we're just getting to know each other–"
"And that's what can't happen! Oh God, you two haven't slept together yet, have you?" – Rory blushed bright red and Logan shifted in his seat.
"Jesus, dad" – Honor mumbled.
"Oh, God, you have. Oh God, this is bad, this is so bad. So bad" – he got up and got his cell out – "Hey, it's me. No, I know, but– It happened. IT happened. Yes, I know. I know. I will tell them, goodbye" – he shut it and sat back down, facing a bunch of wide eyes.
"Tell us what?" – Logan questioned, looking pretty annoyed. Mitchum took a deep breath and Rory had the inkling she was going to hate whatever came out.
"Well, Logan, as you may or may not know, after Honor, your mother and I had problems conceiving" – Shira bowed her head into her drink – "There was nothing wrong with either of us, but alas, no other child came for years, that's why you're so far apart"
"... Okay?"
"During this time, we were very stressed and angry at each other and we took some time off. That's when I met Lorelai" – he looked at Rory, who gulped.
"Aw, crap" – she moaned then frowned – "Wait. But mom– And you're– You're way older than my mom"
"About ten years or so, yes"
"Ew, dad" – Honor scrunched her nose.
"Everyone, settle down. As I was saying, I met Lorelai, who was breathtaking, if a teenager. We had a brief... Friendship, if you will" – Shira snorted and ordered more wine – "and didn't talk again until a few months later, when she called to tell me she was pregnant"
"With me?!" – Rory cried in disgust.
"No, no, not with you" – the girl sighed in relief – "She was pregnant with Logan"
"WHAT?!" – Logan and Honor exclaimed at once. Rory started feeling sick.
"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Logan, but. Lorelai Gilmore is your birth mother, not Shira" – Logan whirled his head to the blond woman, who shrugged.
"Is that why you never liked me?" – he asked brokenly.
"That and you're pretty bratty" – she answered honestly. Josh started coughing, though Rory suspected a covered laugh.
"Well, anyway. Lorelai and I came to an agreement. She somehow managed to hide her pregnancy from her parents, and spent the Summer at one of the family's homes, when she gave birth to Logan"
"Okay, I'm gonna be sick now" – Rory said in all seriousness. Mitchum looked at her as if WORRIED but forged on.
"After she gave birth, she accepted that I was an older man, I was married and already had a child, so I would be suitable to raise Logan with Shira. She asked to know nothing about what happened to him so she didn't have to wonder 'what if', and that's it. In the following year I understand she got pregnant with you, Rory, and, ah, yeah, that's it. So, you can't be together, you're brother and sister. Ooh, chocolate soufflé, I like chocolate soufflé"
Rory stared at him, as did everyone else on the table save a drinking Shira and a slumbering Eli.
And then she ran from the table and threw up in the nearest corner. When she came back a couple of minutes later, Logan was gone and she could hear retching sounds. Honor looked pretty green, though Josh looked amused but trying to hide it. Mitchum was more interested in his dessert.
"Let me get this straight" – Rory started – "You and mom had an affair and you had Logan"
"Right"
"And she's the one you talked to just now on the phone, isn't it?"
"Yeah"
"Why didn't she tell me this herself?! And she's met Logan!"
"Did she?"
"At my grandparents vow renewal"
"Ah, yeah, there was that"
"Well?!" – Mitchum shrugged.
"Honestly, she was true to word, she wanted to forget she ever had Logan, it was too painful for her, though– Hey son"
"Hey dad" – the younger Huntzberger looked horribly sick as he sat back down.
"So, Lorelai. She said since you're all grown up now, and if you want to, she would like to get to know you" – Logan gave his father the stink eye, and Rory thought he looked drunk.
'Oh, maybe he is, he did take a while getting back from vomiting'
"After I've nailed my sister?"
"That's unfortunate, but yes"
"... I'll think about it" – he mumbled, looking at Shira, who wouldn't stop drinking and hiccupping.
"Great! After we are over this whole unfortunate business, I'm sure we can all we a happy family! Say, Rory, is Lorelai dating anyone?"
After dinner, Rory was going to scrub ever inch of her body until it was raw and drive to Stars Hollow to yell her mother into the floor, but for the moment she settled for eating her soufflé.
"So, are you going to be my new daddy?" – she asked, batting her eyelashes expertly at an amused Mitchum – "Will you buy me a pony?"
I can't recall which reviewer gave me this idea, it was a long time ago, but I expanded the idea into a trilogy. The Trilogy of Incest. I do promise though that after these end, I'm all out of incest ideas. For now. I've nothing planned out, anyway.