The next morning came way too quickly. Luckily Bellamy was still asleep. I giggled at the sound of him slightly snoring. His arms were draped comfortably around my waist. I smiled, realizing that his chin was resting softly on the crook of my shoulder. The last thing I wanted to do was wake him, so I stretched out my toes and pretended to be asleep.
"Morning, Clarke." Bellamy whispered. My stomach lurch at the sensation of his breath against my skin. When I turned my head to look at him, our noses collided.
"I thought you were still sleeping." I said as I shifted my position on the bed. I flipped over onto my stomach while Bellamy stayed on his side.
"I woke up three hours ago." He admitted as he ran his fingers across my back.
"Couldn't sleep?" I asked. He stretched and shook his head.
"No, I just wanted to enjoy my last few hours with you." He said sadly.
"Bellamy, it's not like I'm dying…" I joked, but he didn't laugh.
"Isn't it crazy how we've been trying this entire time to give ourselves a better outcome than what we had before but somehow everything is still finding a way of happening. I'm a janitor again, Octavia was locked up again, My mother was floated for having her again, and now you are getting locked up again. What's the point of all of this?" He asked angrily. I could tell this was all starting to get to him, but he had to stay focused. We had a chance to save my father and the Ark if Bellamy could just convince them that the Earth is survivable.
"I'm trusting you to fix the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I honestly believe that we were sent here together to fix each other's problems, not our own. Please just trust me." I said. He leaned in to kiss my cheek.
"I do trust you, Clarke. I just don't like any plan that requires me being separated from you." He whispered as he climbed out of bed. I felt awful for doing this to him, but I couldn't change my mind, I couldn't be selfish.
I slowly climbed out of bed and went to get a shower. This would be the last, private shower I'd ever have and I wanted to enjoy it. In lock up, there are communal showers but they aren't very nice. Plus they only have cold water in lock up.
When I finally got out of the shower, I put my hair back in a braid and slipped into my scrubs. I would be going to work like usual and then at some point in the morning I would steal the morphine. After that I'd find an excuse to go to Nygel and try to sell it to her for extra ration points. My excuse would be that I was trying to do something for Bellamy since he lost everything (but Bellamy didn't know that).
When I emerged from the bathroom, Bellamy was sitting at the kitchen counter with a stoic expression. I walked over to him and massaged his shoulders, but he placed his hands on mine to stop me.
"I have to go…" I mumbled. Bellamy hung his head.
"Well I guess this is goodbye." He said. I crossed my arms and lifted his face to look in his eyes.
"Aren't you coming with me?" I asked, surprised. Bellamy was supposed to take me there to say goodbye.
"No, it's not something I want to see." He muttered. I scoffed and shook my head.
"So you're just going to sit here alone and sulk?" I gasped. He rolled his eyes and got up from the chair in frustration.
"Goodbye Clarke." He said without looking at me, before storming off into his mother's room and slamming the door. I waited for him for another five minutes before giving up and heading for his front door. When I opened it, I hesitated to walk out the door, but he wasn't there to stop me. Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of that being our goodbye. How could he do that?
I slammed the front door shut and then leaned up against it, trying to compose myself. I had to stay strong and do this for my people.
Suddenly, the door began to move behind me so I moved away from it. Bellamy threw it open and spun me around, pulling me into him and crashing my lips into his. I could feel the hot tears on his cheeks as he kissed me over and over again. I cupped his face as he slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against mine.
"I'm sorry, Clarke. I would hate myself if I let you walk away like that." He panted. I was so breathless and distraught that I didn't know what to say. Here I was, standing in the doorway to Bellamy's place, about to leave it behind forever.
"I love you." He breathed. I soaked up the words and took a mental image of this moment. I needed that reminder to keep me strong.
"I love you too. So much, Bellamy. I'm doing this for us." I rambled. He captured my lips in another quick kiss.
"I know love, I know." He whispered. He pulled me in for another kiss on the forehead before hugging me tighter than he ever had before. He lifted me into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He spun us around, kissing my cheeks over and over again.
When he finally set me down, we were both out of breath. I held his hands one last time before letting him go.
"Until we meet again?" He asked.
"Until we meet again." I confirmed as I walked away from him for the last time.
"I need O- neg stat!" My mother ordered Jackson from across the med bay. While my mother was focused on the urgent care patients, I was assigned to the non-life threatening ones. So far I had a little girl with a cold, two boys with sprained ankles, and an old man complaining of a headache. While my mother was distracted and my next appointment wasn't for another hour, I decided to slip away to the medical cabinet. It was locked, but I'd watched my mom and Jackson open it enough times to know the passcode. Once I opened it, I took two vials of morphine and slipped out the door.
Nygel would most likely be at the rations distribution center. This would be the perfect place for me to get caught committing the crime.
When I entered, the place was crowded with citizens of the Ark buying and selling used items. Nygel was working at window 12, which had the longest line. I found my place behind a young woman in her thirties carrying an infant. The baby was staring at me, with wide blue eyes, and instantly burst into tears. I tucked the morphine away in my scrubs pocket and looked away as the mother desperately tried to quiet her child.
The line moved slowly, giving me more time to think about what I was about to do. I was almost to the point of no return and I had to keep reminding myself not to give up. I knew that if I saw Bellamy's face one more time, that would be it. I would throw in the towel, take the morphine back, and pretend like this whole thing never happened. But I couldn't just do that. Even though I'm not the leader of the 100 yet in this universe, on the inside I am and always will be. Like Lexa had said, the duty to protect my people comes first.
"Well, if it isn't Clarke Griffin." Nygel gasped. I rolled my eyes and glanced around the room. There were only three guards on duty in here today. One of them was dealing with an angry man holding a broken chair while the other two were desperately trying to stay awake. I looked back at Nygel as I pulled the stolen morphine out of my scrub pocket.
"I'll be damned. You are a brave little thing, aren't you? What do you want for it?" She asked. I put on my best 'damsel girlfriend' expression before responding to her.
"My boyfriend is going through a rough time with his mother being floated and his sister being locked up. I wanted to trade this for extra rations points this month. I was hoping to maybe buy him some things." I lied. Nygel seemed to buy my story as she slid her hand under the glass barrier and took the morphine.
"Does your boyfriend know you're doing this?" She asked as she examined the vial.
"No, it's a surprise."
"You must really love the guy if you're willing to sacrifice everything and steal from your own mother just to get a few extra ration points." Nygel continued.
"You and I both know that I want more than a few ration points, Nygel." I snapped.
She chuckled, "There there, little Griffin. I'll see what I can do."
I nodded and walked away from the window as she slipped the morphine into her pocket. Now it was only a matter of time before she decided to turn me into the council.
I decided to spend the rest of the day, until I got arrested, with Wells. We sat on his couch watching soccer reruns for the majority of the day before I got up the courage to tell him what I had done.
"You are deliberately getting yourself arrested so you can protect Bellamy's little sister?" Wells gasped. I nodded and awkwardly shifted my position on the couch.
"Clarke you're practically being suicidal right now. You do realize that all prisoners get reviewed at eighteen and with the way things have been going lately, almost everyone gets floated." Wells scolded me. I almost forgot that he had no idea the 100 would be sent down to Earth and pardoned for their crimes. It probably did sound crazy.
"What does Bellamy think about all of this?" Wells asked. I didn't want to think about Bellamy right now. Whenever I did all I could picture was the look on his face when I told him I was leaving and how I broke his heart again. I also broke my promise to him.
"He doesn't know." I lied.
"Well why are you telling me this?" Wells asked.
"Because I need you to hack into the prison security system and make sure that I share a cell with Octavia." I told him. Wells shook his head, so I reached across the couch and held his hand.
"Wells, please. She's barely fifteen."
Wells sat still for a moment, without answering me. I leaned back against the couch and groaned. Of course he wouldn't help me.
The doors burst open and several members of the guard burst through. Wells reached for me, but it was too late, the guards were already cuffing me and dragging me out of the apartment.
The walk of shame to the skybox was all too familiar. When I arrived, I was stripped of everything except for my locket (which I hit a guard for trying to take it away from me). Then I was sent into a private room to speak to a member of the council and explain what I did and why. I told her the same story I told Nygel and she told me that my punishment would be lock up. My mother showed up shortly after, with my father in tow. They were both extremely surprised and disappointed in me, but I could tell by the look in my dad's eye that he knew exactly why I did it. He knew it was sacrifice, a sacrifice to protect Octavia.
After getting chewed out by my mom for about ten minutes, the guards separated us and took me into the sky box. I was escorted down to level three and thrown into a cell with a bunk bed, toilet, desk, sink, and dresser.
"Lunch for group C is now over. Please report back to your cells immediately." A voice announced over the loudspeaker. I tried to make myself comfortable on the bottom bunk as I waited for my cellmate to arrive. Suddenly, two guards appeared and opened the cell door. I watched as someone stepped in and almost cried when I saw who it was. Wells actually did it.
"Clarke!" Octavia exclaimed. She ran over to me and pulled me into an embrace which caught the guards by surprise. I glared at them over Octavia's shoulder, prompting them to leave us alone.
"I'm here." I said as I held her.
"Why are you here? I mean, I'm happy to see you, but I'm not happy to see you here." She gasped.
"Someone's gotta look after you all." I replied. Octavia nuzzled up against me in the bed. I smiled and held her, noticing how much she smelled like her brother and I instantly felt better about this entire thing. Maybe lock up wouldn't be so bad this time around. At least I wouldn't have to be alone.