But I'm A–!
The Huntzbergers have a different reason not to want Logan and Rory together.
PS: 'But I'm a Gilmore!' redone.
Notes:
"Words" – regular conversation
'Words' – quotes and such, thoughts too
Scenario 17 – Bundles of Joy
A little mix–up back in the 80's has long reaching consequences.
When one young Shira Huntzberger was presented with a beautiful little boy, she stared, enchanted, at his sweet if scrunched up face. He looked nothing like his sister Honor had looked when she was born, but. Well, they were both her children and she was going to do right by them and care for them both best as she could. She placed a gentle kiss on the little boy's forehead and hummed a lullaby as she rocked him.
Many doors down, an older couple was staring down at their granddaughter as their one and only daughter cried over the baby and promised to love her forever. The woman hesitate before putting a hand on her child's shoulder, but the smile on her lips was all natural.
"She's lovely, Lorelai" – she said softly.
"Thanks, mom"
"What's her name?"
"Rory"
"That's a wonderful name" – the dad said softly, eyes on all his girls.
"Rory Gilmore" – the teenage mom said in a far away tone.
Meanwhile, a slightly tipsy nurse walked out of her shift, none the wiser that while babies looked the same, they were not, in fact, the same.
Years passed and Rory Gilmore and Logan Huntzberger, born just hours away from the other didn't cross paths as they grew in entirely different circumstances. Rory was a small town girl, Logan was a rich playboy, and they never even knew about the other's existence until their lives crashed at Yale University. It wasn't quite love at first sight, but close enough, and soon they were falling into bed and in a relationship.
Just in time for Honor Huntzberger to bed her little brother to come along for dinner because she was terrified to announce she was engaged to her long time boyfriend Josh. Logan easily agreed to come and Honor butted in and invited Rory along. Logan didn't quite like the way his sister stared at Rory curiously, and not just because he'd called her his girlfriend. It was something... More.
When the new couple arrived at the Huntzberger mansion, Logan started to feel a weight in his stomach. Nah, everything was going to be okay, they would all love Rory, how would they not? But why was he feeling like he was not going to like the way the night went?
His family was all gathered up when they went in, and Shira in particular downright stared at Rory with a frightening intensity. Logan wished his female relatives warned him before they decided they wanted to jump his girlfriend, it was only polite, really. And ew, his mom. Ew, his sister. Gawd.
"This is Rory?" – Shira asked softly, eyes still trained on the girl as the young couple sat.
"Yes, this is Rory" – he smiled fondly at the girl and she smiled nervously back.
"She's so beautiful" – the words seemed to escape Shira's lips, and she looked surprised in herself. She wasn't the only one, because Logan and Mitchum shot her looks in unison – "Sorry, but– Oh God, no" – she moaned and turned to Honor, who nodded – "Will, you, darling?" – she begged, and with graceful movements, Logan watched at his sister rose and went to a corner table and came back with a–
"Is that your family album?" – Logan asked, confused, at his mom. She nodded as she accepted it and flipped the pages furiously. Mitchum was frowning at her by now, and Logan's grandfather, Eli, was looking between Rory and Honor intently. He sighed deeply, which in Logan's eyes was not a good thing, and ordered the maid to pour some whisky for everyone.
Okay, something was wrong.
"Mitchum, look" – Shira demanded, making the puzzled man look at whatever she was showing him on the album. He did a very obvious double take, and his head very slowly turned up and at Rory, who was not just subtly nervous anymore.
"No, it can't be" – the man whispered – "It can't be" – he looked at the album again and shook his head – "How could this be?! This can't– How?!"
"She was born the day after Logan" – Shira said softly.
Wait, who– Who the hell were they–? Not Ace. Jesus, what was going on?
"Mom? Dad?" – Shira winced a little and turned to Logan – "Wanna share with the class? What are you even looking at?"
"Oh, Logan" – the woman said gently.
"Miss Gilmore" – Mitchum directed at the jumpy girl – "Do you by any chance know anything about your family?"
"Er, sorry?" – the man stared and shook his head.
"No, excuse me, I didn't phrase it correctly. I mean... Oh, this is awkward to ask, but are you... Do you... Do you look like anyone in your family?"
"Do I–? Do I look like anyone in my family?" – she looked around uncertainly – "I... I always thought I looked a lot like my mom" – Shira's wince was very noticeable this time. Honor got up and went to her, and put a hand on her shoulder. Both women gladly accepted the glasses of whisky.
"And you were born at Hartford Memorial, do you know?" – Mitchum questioned.
"Dad, what's with all these questions?" – Logan asked anxiously, not liking the weird picture of his mom on a seemingly emotional breakdown, and Honor of all people supporting her. Also, his grandfather so hated sharing his precious whisky, and here he was handing it around like party favors.
"It's okay, Logan" – Rory said pleasantly – "Yes, Mister Huntzberger, I was born at Hartford Memorial"
"Oh boy" – the man sighed.
"I'm sorry, sir, but is there–?" – Rory tried gently, but Shira then simply burst into tears, startling her, Logan and the mousy Josh. Honor instantly dropped to the floor in front of her, trying to soothe her. Mitchum put a hand on her back, his expression on that Logan rarely, if ever, saw, concerned and lost. The great Mitchum Huntzberger, lost. Jesus.
Rory looked absolutely flabbergasted, not that Logan could possibly blame her, he was pretty thrown, actually.
"Mom? Dad?" – Logan said, voice cracking a little. Mitchum took a deep breath and turned to him.
"I'm sorry, Logan, but" – he glanced at Rory – "There's something we will need to confirm, but–" – he shook his head – "I think it's fair to say that... Your mother just confirmed a suspicion that Honor brought to our attention after she met your– After she met Rory" – the blond young man looked at his sister, who refused to meet his eyes, oddly enough.
"Er, what's wrong then?"
"Here, look" – Mitchum gently removed the album from Shira's lap even as the woman continue to weep, and handed it to Logan – "Recognize anyone?"
Logan search the open pages and stopped dead when he saw it. Jesus Christ. No. Way. No. No, no, no, no, there was no way.
"Is this–? Who is this?"
"That's your– That's Shira's older sister" – Mitchum said softly, and Shira let out a louder sob – "She died several years ago. That's her when she was eighteen years old"
"Wow" – Rory whispered in awe as she looked over his shoulder – "Wow, I really do look like her" – Logan stared as his father took the big breaths of big breaths.
"There is no easy way to say this, miss Gilmore" – the man started, very quickly – "But I believe you are our daughter"
Truth be told, Logan had never, ever, witnessed a scene that could be described as 'you could hear a pin drop', but seriously. You could hear a hair drop. Other than his mom's sniffling, that is.
"What the hell does that even mean?!" – he finally blew up into the silence. Eli tsked at him while doing a round motion with his hand to indicate that everyone needed more whisky.
"That means, boy" – the old man said all too calmly – "that we get a do–over baby. A smart, pretty, and sweet sister, daughter and granddaughter"
"Pops" – Mitchum mumbled, sipping onto some whisky – "Don't start"
"Oh what. You know very well I've never quite liked Logan. He's nothing like a Huntzberger out to be! You were never a playboy like him! Or as uninterested in the family business, that is simply shameful!"
"No... Oh my God" – Rory started hyperventilating a bit – "No, no, I'm a Gilmore! I'm Lorelai Gilmore's daughter!"
"I'm afraid you're really Shira Huntzberger's kid" – Eli snorted – "And Honor's little sister, and didn't you always want one dear? And Mitchum's youngest child, and my one and only littlest granddaughter" – he puffed up like a big old peacock – "My intelligent, dedicated and talented reporter of a granddaughter"
"Geez, pops"
"What? It's all the truth!"
"You don't have to say it like that"
"Like what?"
"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" – Logan screamed, completely fed up with the entire situation.
Also, c'mon, where were the cameras? His mom did always say she wanted to be an actress before she became Mrs. Mitchum Huntzberger, so it had to be a joke right? Yeap, it was a joke. Ha–ha, look at 'im laughing his ass off.
... Wait, no he wasn't. Moving along then.
"There is really no need to shout, Logan" – Eli berated – "You really are far too unruly, I am ever so glad you are not in fact my blood"
"Pops, please"
"I can't NOT be your kid, how does that even make any sense?! I'm older than Ace!"
"No, you are the same age. You were born a day apart. Well, a few hours apart" – Mitchum stated.
"Dad, c'mon, what's going on? This is so not funny. Right, Ace?" – but Rory was sitting down with the album on her knees, and she was hesitantly touching the picture of Shira's supposed sister – "Ace?"
"But I'm a Gilmore" – she whispered – "I'm a Gilmore"
"Of course you are, and I'm a Huntzberger"
"Well, technically–"
"Granddad, seriously, shut up"
"Don't tell me to shut up, you brat. And while we're on the subject–"
"What subject?"
"You better stay far away from my lovely granddaughter"
"Excuse me?"
"You are far beneath her, Logan, you have to see it"
"Wow, okay, pops, Logan–"
"I'm beneath her? How?!"
"You are not a Huntzberger, you are a Gilmore. In that you are already less than her"
"I can't believe this!"
"He's a Hayden too" – Rory said softly. The men's heads snapped to her – "My dad– I mean, Logan's dad– Christopher is Christopher Hayden, so if it makes any difference..."
"Some difference, I suppose" – Eli grumbled – "But you are still all too loose, boy, and I do not care for someone like you for my granddaughter. Look at Honor! She got Josh, and he's pretty boring, but he's steady and good at his job and sort of smart once he stops stuttering around us"
"Great, so I'm NOT a Huntzberger AND I'm all wrong for my own girlfriend?"
"Also you don't have a trust fund, naturally" – Eli said, maybe a tad too smug about it, especially as his smirk made him look like he was actually drinking the blood of his enemies.
Okay, that was it. Gloves off. Gloves. OFF!
Logan leaped and tackled Eli, making Honor gasp and yell for them to stop. Shira quit sniffling and scrambled with her (older) daughter and husband to get away from the scramble. Josh whimpered and moved away as well, though he was the farthest from the duo, and Rory stared in shock at her boyfriend (?) and0– Yeah. She put the album down on the coffee table and with a sharp nod, moved closer to her remaining family (?).
"Do they do this often?" – she questioned lightly. Honor opened a bright smile and hugged her while Shira gently passed a hand through her hair. It was nice.
"I'm afraid it's a normal enough occurrence" – Mitchum replied with an unconcerned shrug.
"I would still like to have contact with– You know, my family"
"Oh, don't worry, my dear" – her... Dad?, said soothingly – "We would never just rip you away from them like that"
"Now you've done it, boy!" – Eli roared and slammed a groaning Logan onto the floor. Rory winced as the old man proceeded to punch her boyfriend (?) into oblivion.
"Maybe we should go and have dinner now" – Honor proposed, arms still tight around Rory.
"Lovely idea" – Shira complimented in an absent tone as she smiled fondly at Rory – "My sister didn't have quite your beautiful hair, you know. You can't tell in the pictures–"
"Get off me!" – Logan exclaimed.
"But her hair was a bit of a mess" – she finished.
"Not now you don't, you brat!" – Eli snapped back, not allowing Logan to flee his fate.
"We have lamb, do you like lamb, Rory?" – Mitchum asked as the family (and a frightened but surprisingly quick on his feet Josh) moved along to the dining room.
"I love lamb"
"Wonderful! You must tell me everything about you, darling, starting with–" – Shira chatted away.
As they ate, the sounds of Logan and Eli's continued battle, so to speak, were easily heard. Rory looked over her shoulder as a maid cleared the salad plates and frowned.
"Is... Are they going to be alright?"
"Oh, trust me, pops will be fine" – Mitchum reassured her.
"Pretty sure she was asking about Logan, dad"
"Ah, yes. No worries, dear, he'll bounce back. Now, I know you must like him, for some reason, but would you be terribly upset about meeting some nice young men if we were to introduce them to you?" – Rory winced at the sound of Logan screaming yet again, and turned to her– Dad?
"I... Guess... Sure. As long as it's not too many at once"
"No worries there, sweetie" – Shira laughed a little – "It's not like there even are that many suitable boys out there. Surely not even enough to fill this table" – she tsked – "It's so hard to find nice boys and girls these days, though I suppose we no longer have to worry about them nice girls"
"What about Janlan's grandson?" – Mitchum asked and Honor nodded enthusiastically.
"He'd look so good with Rory!" – she gushed – "He's kinda like Logan except, you know, he cleaned up his act, so he would be great!"
"Let's not get too carried away now" – Mitchum said playfully – "We just got her back, we can't have her planning to leave us for some boy so soon"
"Oh daddy" – Honor tittered – "I'm hardly running from home"
"No, you aren't, but Rory is all the way at Yale already, it's too far from us"
"But she is a Huntzberger" – Shira said imperially – "... And a Gilmore, I suppose, so she is a Yalie through and through, it wouldn't do for her to transfer to Harvard just to be close to us"
"Of course, yes"
"How do you like Yale, Rory?" – the girl smiled nervously but was encouraged by the way everyone, even scared little mousy Josh, smiled at her.
"Well–"
Rory didn't actually see Logan for the rest of the night, nor Eli. A maid came around the middle of the main course and whispered in Mitchum's ear that the two had headed straight to their rooms to rest after their little brawl. The head of the table told everyone about it, and Rory didn't feel too bad about her boyfriend. Attacking her grandfather, really.
Who would've guessed her life could take such a drastic turn in a single night?
She was not looking forward to telling her other family about it. God, her grandparents would just die with a grandson like Logan!
Logan better watch himself, or Emily Gilmore would whip his ass for being a rude little shit. That and, if he ever dared try to start a fight with Richard Gilmore, she was entirely too sure that the older man would wipe the floor with him without a second thought and make him clean it up after he was conscious enough for it.
... No, she didn't want to watch it go down with her old and new family members cheering Richard on, shut up.
(but maybe a little, shut up already)
This started out real down and heavy and then Logan slid into the drama and then it became crack-y, which, hey, I liked it. 'Cause this was very ridiculous, I admit.