Chapter 5: Dear Chloe
Chloe Beale X Beca Mitchell
Prompt: It's been years. She chose him. Not you.
Dear Chloe,
It's been a couple years. Three to be exact. I hope as you are reading this right now that you are happy. That Tom makes you happy. Because you deserve the world and I want him to give that to you, even if it means I won't be the reason you're smiling. Because I know I'm not. And I won't ever be. I want the best for you even if the best isn't me.
I'm not writing to say 'fuck you' or 'screw my life' although that is how I feel right now. Screwed as shit. Because I didn't fight for you when you walked away. I didn't fight for you when you left. When you broke me to a million pieces. I wish I can tell you that I'm fine, or that I've moved on, but we'd both know that would be a lie. Because how could I ever be okay without you in my life? How could I ever be okay without the one thing I called home?
It hurts. All of it. Waking up to an empty bed every day. Wishing that you were there. Walking home to an empty house I can't even call home anymore. Because you're not there. I guess everyone was right. You made me better. A better person, a better human being. Just better in general. It hurts to do everything we used to. To laugh. To smile. To sing. To listen to music. I don't think I've ever actually enjoyed music since you left.
You know what? To tell you the truth, I still think about you every night. I think about you ever morning. I think about you all the time. And it hurts. I wish you weren't my whole world. I wish I don't still dream of you ever night, of all the missed opportunities. I wish I wouldn't have to wake up every day to an empty bed, hoping that you will be there although I know you won't. But I know I'll have to let you go. It's only a matter of time. Because now that reality has woken me up, I realize that I have to deal with the fact that you're gone and will never return. I realized all I have left to remember you by is the memories that will stay forever treasured in my mind.
I just want you to know that wherever you go, I love you and I always will. You deserve the world and I hope he can give it to you. Goodbye Chloe.
~Beca Mitchell
A tear falls out of her eyes as the letter crumples beneath her hands. Finding the contact name she hasn't dialed for years, she presses the button. She holds it to her ear, silent tears falling, as the ring tone dials. Her breath catches when the other line clicks. She can hear heavy breathing on the other line.
Another tear falls when the other voice, clearly sounding tired but shocked, whispers: "Chloe?"