I wake up lying on top of Edward, my legs under his body and his face still pressed into my shoulder. We seem to have fallen asleep in almost the exact position we were in the night before. One of my legs is asleep and I'm uncomfortably warm. I try to gently remove myself from Edward without waking him, but when I hear his low moan, I realise I've failed.
"What the… oh, hey," he murmurs as he gets his bearings.
"Uh… hi." I'm feeling very awkward, which surprises me. Edward and I have been through so much together, and yet I'm blushing like I'm at my first school dance.
"Well, this is new," he says with a laugh. I shoot him a withering look and climb off him, eager for a bathroom. In case I wasn't embarrassed enough, I stumble on my sleeping leg. He reaches out a hand and rights me before I can fall.
I stamp my leg on the ground a couple of times to return circulation, then turn to head for the bathroom. He holds onto my hand, manoeuvring me so that I'm facing him again.
"Thanks," he says, "for last night."
"Don't worry about it. You've done it for me enough times."
"No, I'm serious… Thank you."
I lean down and wrap my arms around his shoulders briefly. His wind around my waist. I rest my chin on the top of his head and let him deal with whatever he needs to.
A few moments pass before my body makes itself known.
"Edward?"
"Mmmm?" he hums against my stomach.
"As much as I'm enjoying this, I have to pee."
He pulls back immediately with a playful grimace. He holds onto one of my hands though.
"Gross, woman."
"Oh whatever," I sniff. "You've seen me vomiting my guts up while sobbing uncontrollably. Social niceties don't exactly apply anymore."
"Fair call." I pull away from him slowly until he releases my hand and make my way into our shared bathroom.
Once I'm finished, I head straight back to my room to dress myself. I rifle for my favourite t-shirt, because I know that this morning isn't going to be easy. Before I met Edward, I thought of it as my own little amulet. Now, that thought seems kind of ridiculous.
I walk back through to see Edward sitting on his bed, fiddling with his laptop.
"You're stalling, aren't you?"
He scoffs.
"No, I was just waiting for you, because I'm a gentleman like that."
"Yeah, alright," I say with a roll of my eyes. I look down at him, expecting to see a cheeky smirk on his face. Instead, I see indecision and fear.
"I just…" he pauses and takes a deep breath. "I can't believe I did that. I feel so fucking stupid."
I sit and take his hands in mine.
"Edward, they will forgive you. They don't understand what it was like for us, but they're your family, and they'll let it go. You didn't hurt him. It's fine."
"Very funny," he says, but his weak smile relaxes me a little.
"Come on," I urge, using all my body weight to try and pull him from the bed. "We'll do this together. It'll be ok. Now hurry up, I'm hungry."
"Alright, alright," he huffs. "Are you going to put some pants on?"
I dart over the bedroom door, and pull my shirt up, revealing my behind covered in denim shorts.
"You think that's funny do you?" he growls. He launches himself off the bed and runs for me. I squeal as he picks me up and carries me off, bridal style. He descends the stairs with me kicking and screaming, completely nonchalant. In fact, he's humming merrily.
"Put me down!" I cry.
"You got it, sweetheart." He spins in a circle three times at a dizzying speed before putting me back on my feet. I sway slightly as I try to get my bearings. He laughs and wraps his arms around my waist.
"You're lucky I haven't eaten breakfast yet," I grumble as he leads me along, "otherwise you'd be seeing me vomit all over again." His laughing gets louder. Although I'm embarrassed and disoriented, I'm happy that I can distract him from his wallowing about last night.
He pushes me through the kitchen door.
"No need to manhandle me," I giggle and swing an elbow into his side that he neatly dodges. I stumble and he grabs me.
"Wow, you're clumsy this morning," he teases and I poke my tongue out at him.
Someone clears their throat behind us, and I jump. We turn to see that Esme, Carlisle and Emmett are sitting at the kitchen table and have witnessed our exchange.
There is a few seconds of intensely awkward silence.
"Good morning, babies," Esme chirps, rising from her seat. "What can I get y'all for breakfast this beautiful morning?"
She bustles us over to the table where there are two place settings available. We sit down and she quickly pours two glasses of juice for us then dashes back to the stove. Edward looks down at his plate, his hands knotted in his lap. I pry his hands apart and take one in mine, trying to give him as much support as I can. Carlisle is studiously reading the paper, and Esme is busying herself with breakfast.
"Emmett," he says quietly. His little brother looks up from his plate and Edward inhales sharply when the bruise on his neck comes into view.
"What's up, big bro?" Emmett asks, trying to act casual. I smile a little at his attempt to relax his brother.
"I'm… shit, I'm so fucking sorry, Emmett."
"Language, Edward," Carlisle chides without looking up.
"It's cool, it's my fault for sneaking around like a -"
"No," Edward cuts him off. "It's not your fault, and I'm really sorry."
Emmett nods once.
"Apology accepted, brother."
A moment passes between them before they smirk at each other and all tension in the room dissolves. Esme takes her place and puts a tray of food in the centre of the table. Emmett fills his plate and is eating in a matter of seconds. Considering how gangly he is, it seems odd that he eats like a starving animal, and yet, it's strangely fitting.
The family dynamic, although somewhat crowded, is very charming in its way. Charlie and I are never like this, and it's something of a novelty.
"So," Esme says over her china tea cup, "what is everyone doing today?"
"School," Emmett garbles out through a mouthful of food. "Rosie's gonna come over in the afternoon."
"Who's Rosie?" I ask impulsively.
"Emmett's girlfriend," Edward says with a smirk. Emmett chokes on his food, coughing loudly.
"Edward!" he cries. "She's my best friend. We've been friends since we were little."
"Her mother is a dear friend of mine," Esme adds.
"And Emmett loves her," Edward sings. Emmett looks down at his food, his ears bright red.
"As if," he huffs.
Edward and I both laugh. He's adorable. Esme rubs her son's back comfortingly, although she's smiling herself.
"Enough is enough, you two," she chides us gently. "What will you be doing today?"
"We'll probably hang around here, let Bella get used to the place," Edward answers for us.
"It's a beautiful day, you should use the pool," she offers. "I won't be here in the afternoon, I have book club, but I'll make y'all some lunch before I go, okay? Good." She nods decisively and apparently, our plans are set. Edward looks to me for confirmation.
"That sounds good to me. Alice wanted to stop by this afternoon, if that's ok?"
"Of course it is, sweet thing! She's welcome any time, all your friends are." Esme's hospitability doesn't surprise me.
"Thank you, Esme. You're too kind."
"Pshaw," she dismisses me with a wave of her hand. "Now, hurry up and eat."
A couple of hours later, Edward and I are by his pool. He's lying on a floating pool lounge, I'm on a deck chair, and music floats through the warm spring air. It's bliss, exactly what I'd fantasised about so many times while we were away. Sun on my skin, the smell of my coconut sun screen and chlorine. It feels almost surreal.
"Bella?" Edward calls from his floating bed. I push my sunglasses back into my hair to look at him.
"What's up?"
"Come swim with me."
"No."
"Please?" He sounds like a whining child.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I said no."
He huffs, and I smirk.
"Alright, fine," he says petulantly, before sliding off the blow up toy and into the water. He swims to the edge and rests his forearms on the side of the pool. "Can you at least pass me some water?"
"Ugh, you're so needy," I mutter but do it nonetheless because in reality, his request hasn't bothered me at all. I fill a plastic cup with water and walk over to the pool side.
He reaches towards me, but instead of taking the cup, he grabs onto my wrist. In a deft move, he kicks away from the wall, pulling me with him. I suck in a mouthful of air just as I hit the water, only to emerge coughing violently.
Not to mention ticked off.
He's laughing as he swims over and supports me as I regain my composure. I try to struggle away from him.
"I hate you," I splutter.
"Liar."
I splash him right in his open mouth, so at least we're in this together. He continues to laugh between coughs.
"You don't like to lose, do you?" he taunts.
"I wouldn't know, I never have." I wrap my arms around his neck and try to pull him under the water, but the hold he has on me means I'm unable to use my body weight against him. He yawns playfully, bored with my lame attempts to teach him a lesson. I slide my fingers upwards, and try to use his hair as reigns to control him. I fail.
"Bella, you're just going to have to accept it. I'm invincible."
I scoff and roll my eyes at him. He laughs at my pique, and I use the distraction to shove his head under. He lets go of me immediately. I laugh victoriously and then fingers wrap around my ankle, yanking me back down under the water.
Once again, I emerge gagging and spluttering as he laughs at me. I lock my legs around his waist, because I refuse to go under again. I try in vain to push my heavy hair out of my face, and he chuckles as he helps return the wayward strands to their normal position.
"Thanks," I murmur as I shove the final, stubborn bits of hair back.
"You're welcome," he says, his voice strangely pensive. I look at him to see that his head is tilted to the side, and he's gazing at me with appraising eyes. Like I'm a puzzle he's trying to decipher. Or one of those pictures that you can't make out on your first look.
"Edward?"
"Yeah?" He's still deep in his abstraction. One of his hands is resting on the back of my neck, the other around my waist. Mine are on his shoulders. Everything seems to be slowing down, and our voices are lowered even though we're alone.
We're in a bubble.
"Are you ok?"
I wait for his answer, but he's just looking at me. I feel like he's seeing through my skin.
"I'm… fine. Never better, actually."
There seems to be a static electricity in this little bubble of ours. It's unfamiliar, consuming, and a little frightening. It's not entirely unpleasant though. His fingers begin moving on my nape, tracing the hairline and sliding my wet strands between his fingertips. I relax at the familiar, comforting touch and my arms tighten around his shoulders, drawing us closer together.
"Edward?" I ask again.
"Yes, Bella?"
I can feel his breath on my face, and the question I was about to ask evaporates. I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but I can't even consider trying to stop it. I feel magnetised, my face drawing towards his without my active consent. His is moving too, and we match our paces exactly as we edge towards… something.
I don't know what that something is, but the need to find out consumes me.
"I want to…" he murmurs, trailing off. Our faces are inclined so that we're stealing each other's breath. And yet, something is drawing me closer. It's completely foreign to me, but I'm powerless under the force of it.
"Yes," I breathe, because whatever he wants, I want it to. He's holding my eyes to his, although the temptation to let mine flutter closed is strong. I need to see him, I need to see everything.
I need to understand.
"Yes?" he questions lowly. I can barely hear his voice, and I'm almost as close to him as possible.
"Yes," I say with a tiny nod of my head. Tiny, but just enough for our mouths to brush past one another.
"Yes." He repeats the word as his lips press minutely against my own. Our noses graze, and time seems to have suspended itself. I struggle to process what is happening, and fail. Rational thought alludes me as his mouth meets mine, ever so slightly firmer than before.
It's not even a real kiss, just our mouths touching, but it's so much more than anything I've ever encountered. The comfort he brings me just with his presence is amplified thousand-fold when he's touching me like this. It's the most exquisite relief from all the stress and panic and nausea I feel just trying to get through the days since we've been free.
I feel normal, for the first time since it happened.
It's divine.
And as soon as I find nirvana, it's gone.
Alice throws open the backdoor with a loud "What up, mofos?"
We pull apart, both our faces alight with confusion and panic at being caught. I'm desperate to know what Edward is thinking, but just as desperate for Alice not to know what just happened. This is ours, I don't want anyone else involved in it.
Edward releases me and I pull myself out of the pool, jogging over to meet Alice as she walks down to where we are. Thankfully, the pool is a small walk from the house, so I don't think we've been busted.
Alice throws a casual arm around me as we walk back down the path to the water, and I see Edward is back on his lounge, floating casually along as if nothing has transpired. I wish I could feign the same nonchalance. My whole body is buzzing with confusion and… relief. Dizzying, overwhelming relief that makes me want to giggle and dance and do all the things I used to love doing before.
"Jesus, Bel," Alice says as she sits down, "look at those ribs! We've got to get some meat back on those bones, stat." Her voice is full of concern. I look down self-consciously at my body and notice that my bones are sticking out in places where they haven't before. I wonder if anyone else has noticed my awkward, skinny body and my eyes flick over to Edward, who hasn't heard our conversation.
Alice looks at me strangely, utilising her uncanny ability to read my face. I flop back into the deck chair and put my sunglasses on, using them as something of a shield. She rolls her eyes and strips out of her cute little playsuit, then stretches out on the chair.
"Hey Alice," Edward calls from his position. One of his hands is in the water, so he's slowly rowing himself around the pool. I jump slightly at the sound of his voice.
"Hey, Edward," she responds just as casually, but I can feel her eyes on me as she rubs sunscreen into her legs. I busy myself with the iPod dock on the table between our chairs, choosing music and turning up the volume to make conversation more difficult.
Alice makes idle chitchat, talking about how eager everyone is to see me. I barely register her words in my haze. She then asks Edward a few questions, about his schooling and friends back home. I listen with rapt attention, trying to hear an undercurrent of what I'm feeling in his voice. He gives nothing away.
I'm about to go insane when Alice excuses herself and walks back to the house. She murmurs that she needs to pee, but I think she can feel the tension exuding from me and wants to give us a moment. As soon as she closes the back door, Edward slides out of his pool lounge and swims to the edge of the pool.
He places his hands on the ledge and pulls his body from the water with uncanny grace. His skin is covered in water, and he glistens with an almost ethereal air, as if he's glowing from the inside. He makes his way out of the pool and sits on the end of my chair. I curl my legs towards myself to give him some room.
"We should talk," he says, although his tone is hesitant.
"We should."
"You look… frightened. I'm sorry if I -"
"No," I cut him off before he can self flagellate as I know he's about to. "Don't apologise."
He relaxes now that he knows I'm not upset. A smirk lights his face.
"That was really…"
He trails off, his eyes distant.
He doesn't need to finish the sentence, I know exactly what he means.
"Yeah, it was." I nod slowly as the memory clouds over my brain.
"But… we're ok?" he clarifies, and his hesitance is back in full force.
"Of course we are." I'm surprised by his question. I've never felt better, and he's worried our bond has been damaged?
"Good." His smile returns and he reaches out for me. He wraps his hand around my ankle and forces me to extend my legs so that they're resting in his lap. He moves his fingers across the tops of my feet and up my calves in aimless patterns. I relax into the chair as the contentment seems to seep into my very bones.
I sigh happily.
"God, the sun feels fucking good," he murmurs.
"Tell me about it."
"It's probably the thing I missed most… after food, of course."
I feel myself starting to tense as he mentions our time away, but his hands on me stop me from scaling into full on panic. I respond with a weak laugh. It's the best I can do. I think he realises, because he lets the conversation die.
I don't know how long we sit there for, unmoving as we absorb the sun on our skin, the music, and each other's presence. It's so easy, so simple when there's no one in the world but us. It feels right.
As if I'd tempted fate with my thoughts, Alice bursts out of the door a moment later, jarring us both. Esme is following behind her, and they have matching expressions of excitement.
"Guess what?" my best friend crows.
"What, Alice?" She's panting slightly and almost giddy with happiness.
"I got chatting to Edward's mom," Esme's smile grows, "and we're going to have a party!"