Edward POV

I'd known from the fucking beginning that having a party was a fucking stupid idea, but no one fucking listened, did they?

Listening to my uncle Alistair saying that disgusting shit to her was bad enough on its own, and if he hadn't been my mother's brother, I would have taught him a fucking lesson about speaking to women like that right then and there. Using my fists, most likely.

And then Tanya happened.

She tackled me and started kissing my face, forcing me to remove my hand from Bella's when she threw her body on me. I'd pushed her off, placing her back on her teetering heels. I was pretty fucking generous with her, considering I kind of wanted to just throw her ass on the floor, where she belonged.

"Tanya, what the fuck are you doing?"

"I've just missed you so much, I got a little overexcited." She giggled, but it sounded practiced and contrived. Completely unnatural. Just like the hair extensions, lip gloss, solarium tan, and surgically pinned back ears.

"Why would you possibly be that excited?"

"Because my boyfriend survived a near death experience and is back again! Duh!"

I choked on a mouthful of air when she called me her boyfriend. Sure, we'd fooled around a few times, but we had never even gotten close to anything like that. I pushed her away from me and informed her that she was not, in fact, my girlfriend.

"But, Edward… do you know what this has been like for me? I've been so, so worried about you! I like you so much, and we've been so good together in the past! How can you even say this to me?" Her voice rose in pitch, getting increasingly hysterical and irritating. "You can't just dump me now! You're all traumatised, you probably don't even know what you're saying. I can help you get better, I can fix you!"

That was where my patience ran out.

"Tanya," I spat, "you were never my girlfriend, and you're embarrassing yourself. Stop this now."

"So what," she sneered. "You just used me? You lead me on, making me think you were into me, when you just wanted head in the back of your car?"

I was barely in control of my anger now, and she refused to relent. People around had stopped their conversations to listen to ours, and I was quickly reaching the point of no return.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" she continued. "You can't just fuck with me like that! We were going to be together!"

"When did I ever say that?" I asked, then lowered my voice. "Don't do this here. You knew what the deal was, Tanya."

"Well… it doesn't matter! It was implied that you were going to make me your girlfriend when we fucked around in the janitor's-"

Suddenly, my mother ran out onto the patio, her expression panicked and her eyes darting around, looking for something. She came straight for me and grabbed onto my arm.

"Edward, I need you to come upstairs. Now."

"No!" Tanya cried. "We need to talk! You can't take him yet. Whatever it is, it can wait."

My mother shot her a look dirtier than I would have thought her capable of.

"Tanya," she said lowly, "if you have a problem with how I behave in my own home, then you are absolutely welcome to leave. And, if you're ever invited back, which seems unlikely at this point, please put on a skirt that covers your shame when you're jumping around like a monkey."

Tanya stood, awestruck, as my mother pulled me from the backyeard. I was sorely tempted to give her a high five, but there was obviously a more pressing matter at hand.

My mother darted up the stairs at a bizarre speed, especially considering her size and shoes. She ducked into my bedroom with me quick on her heels, and then I could hear screams that I would recognise anywhere on earth. I stopped in my tracks, and Esme looked over her shoulder at me.

"Come on!" she cried, so I followed her into Bella and my shared bathroom and through to Bella's room. What I saw there nearly floored me.

Bella was curled up in a ball in the corner of her bedroom, screaming and sobbing and apologising for something. When she saw me, she panicked more, begging for me to get out of the room. I almost laughed at the idea that I'd leave her like this. I crossed the room and she started kicking and shoving at me, insisting that I had to get out.

Between her garbled words and my mother's explanation at finding Alistair bloody and incapacitated, we were able to deduce what happened. The motherfucker had tried to put his hands on her, and she'd simply defended herself. Obviously, in her panicked state, she didn't realise there was no way on earth that my parents would ever punish her for doing that.

I wanted to go down there and punish Alistair, to make sure he'd never lay hands on anyone ever again, specifically by tearing his fucking arms off, but Carlisle stopped me. He used the only argument that could possibly have worked, telling me that Bella needed me here. I pushed my anger aside and pulled her off the floor, settling her little body against mine on her bed. We talked about it, and I'd never been prouder than when she told me she'd kicked the fucker in the balls. It helped me feel a little better about being unable to hurt him myself. However, knowing it was Tanya's bullshit that caused her to wander off on her own just made me hate the girl more.

I felt strangely obligated to explain the Tanya situation to Bella, but when I did, she'd shut down completely. When she asked me to leave the room, I could hardly believe it. We'd always leaned on each other whenever we were going through anything. God knows I'd done it after the colossal fuckup with Emmett earlier in the week. But now, it seemed, she wanted Alice instead. I knew it was irrational and really selfish, but that shit hurt.

I found Alice talking to a bunch of kids my age who I didn't recognise, and assumed were Bella's school friends.

"Edward!" she cried as she ran over to me. "You have to meet everyone!" She linked her arm through mine and started towards the group. I stopped walking, making it impossible for her to lead me, being so much smaller than me as she was.

"Alice, I need you to come upstairs," I said quietly, aware of the five sets of eyes on us. Alice's expression dropped.

"Is it Bella?"

I nodded and she quickly followed me inside without another word. I sent her into Bella's room, took a seat at the top of the stairs and waited for a sign that Bella would be ok. I sure as fuck wasn't going back to the party, and I was more than a little angry at her for suggesting it.

So here I am, sitting here like a fucking moron in the vain hope that she forgives me. It's not like I deserve her forgiveness. A moment arrived where she fucking needed me, and I was fending off some delusional skank instead of being there to fulfil my only responsibility in the world.

I'm not even sure I can forgive myself, so why the fuck would she do it?

After a while, Alice comes out of the room looking defeated. She flops down next to me on the step, sighing.

"You have to go in there."

"I can't. She told me she didn't want me."

"She lied, Edward. She thinks you're going to leave her, that you're going to go back to your old life and not want her around as a reminder of what happened to you both."

I say nothing, because I'm unable to fully process those words. The idea that I'd ever push Bella out of my life is completely ridiculous. I need her, and her presence, more than anything else in the world. I'm angry, and really fucking hurt, that she'd even think that. That she'd underestimate me, and her hold on me, to such a disgraceful extent.

"Did she actually say that?" I asked, trying to veil my annoyance. Alice nodded.

"Well fuck that," I growl and jump off the step. I storm through my bedroom and our bathroom, fully intending to give her a serious telling off for being so stupid. That is, until I see her on the bed. She's curled in on herself, covered in tears and completely broken. Her eyes are closed but she's not sleeping, she's far too tense.

I sit down on the bed and although her eyelids flutter, she doesn't even look to see who it is. A small part of me thinks that she can tell without looking, and I smile, just a tiny bit, despite everything. I lie back and reach for her, pulling her little body against mine and holding her there. Her tears start again, but she snuggles further into me, clutching me almost desperately. I let her get it out, speaking softly to her, assuring her that I'm not going anywhere, and I never will.

How she could ever think otherwise, I'll never know.

I hold her while she sleeps, just staring at her peaceful face. Looking at her now, I wonder how I ever thought that Tanya was appealing. And how Bella could ever think that I'd rather have Tanya in my life than her. She really has no concept of how indispensible she is, and I feel like I've failed her yet again. It's one of the most fundamental truths in my life, and she doesn't even know how important she is.

I feel like any way I explain it will just fall short. How could I possibly describe my inherent need to make sure she's safe and happy, my desire to have her constantly within reach, how her touch calms me like nothing else, how my heart rips in half when I see her even remotely unhappy? I'd give her the world if I could, and she doesn't even know.

I'd give her my soul, if she didn't already have it.

How can I tell her that without scaring her away?

I lie there, her tiny body wrapped around me, thinking about my life, and how much better it is now. Despite how we met, and what we went through, seeing a snapshot of my old life tonight made me realise that she's improved me on every level. Instead of being a self-centred, juvenile asshole, I now have someone who means more to me than my own immediate gratification. Someone I'd protect with my own life.

It's a heady, overwhelming thing, and for a while, I drown in it, mulling over the thoughts as they circle around and around in my head. She shifts and moans, a slightly restless sound, so I run my fingers through her soft hair and try to help her settle as I attempt to make sense of it all.

"Edward," she sighs in her sleep, culring her fingers into my shirt. My eyes snap to her face, thinking I've woken her, but she's still asleep, smiling softly. Suddenly, all the confusion in my head clears, and I understand.

I fucking love her.

What I'd thought was simply dependence, a desire to protect her unleashed by what we went through, wasn't it at all. From the day I'd met her, I'd been falling for her, and only now have I figured it out.

A shocked laugh escapes my mouth, but I quickly return to silence, because I don't want to wake her after all of the stress of the day. She needs her rest, and I need a little while to process my discovery.

Now that I understand, I'm a bit surprised it took me so long to realise it. Actually, I'm almost embarrassed. Looking down at the sleeping girl resting her head on my chest, I can't believe I didn't recognise it immediately. I feel my whole body starting to relax now that my mental turmoil has come to an end. I kick off my shoes and use my foot to pull up the blanket resting on the end of the bed. I drape it over us both and allow sleep to take me.

I wake up the next morning with Bella still wrapped around me and a smile on my face. I bask in the happiness for a short moment, until confusion and insecurity settle over me. I now understand what's going on, but that by no means gives me any idea as to how to handle this new information. As much as I'm sure of my feelings, I'm completely unsure of hers. I know that she feels bonded to me, but whether or not it extends beyond that is a mystery to me.

Essentially, I'm fucked.

I can feel her stirring, her fingers flexing after being wrapped in my shirt all night. She twists her head to look at me, blinking sleepily with a small smile. She's perfect.

"G'morning," she mumbles, rubbing her face with the heel of her hand.

"Hello." I love you.

"So… I'm sorry about last night's insanity."

"Don't apologise, you didn't do anything." I love you.

"You're way too forgiving."

"There's nothing to forgive." Because I love you.

She smiles at me again and then sits up. She runs her fingers through her hair, cringing as she feels the knotted mess, and I can't stop smiling like a fucking idiot.

"You're awfully cheerful this morning," she notes with a speculative look. I shrug and try to look casual. She eyes me for a moment longer and then shrugs too. She climbs off the bed and walks to our bathroom, closing the door behind her. I hear the shower running and flop back onto the bed, trying to calm myself down so I can try to behave like a normal person around her.

I drift in a state between sleep and consciousness until I hear the bathroom door reopen. I sit up only to see Bella walk through the room clad only in a towel. Her long hair is almost black with wetness and flowing down her back, and small drops of water catch the light from the window and light her skin in the most alluring of ways.

All rational thought escapes me.

After what feels like an eternity but isn't close to long enough, Bella clears her throat. I blink harshly to clear my muddled thoughts, and meet her eyes. She's smirking at me, amused by my idiocy.

"Can you get out? I have to change."

"Oh…" I mumble. "Uh… yeah, of course. I'll see you at breakfast." I scurry from the room.

"Hold on!" she calls, and I pause in my doorway.

I refuse to look at her again. I won't do it.

I do it.

She's just as glorious this time. Probably even more so, if that's possible.

"Hmm?" I ask, trying to pretend I'm capable of conversation. Or rational thought.

"Can you wait for me? I don't want to go down on my own."

"Oh… yeah, sure thing. Meet me in here and we'll go."

She smiles at me then closes her bedroom door, shutting me out. This is probably best, because there's no way I'd be able to stop myself from looking at her. I absently change and then clean my teeth, moving about with almost no attention on my actions. One thought resonates through my head over and over.

What the fuck do I do now?

AN: You asked for Edward, and I delivered. I hope you liked hearing what he had to say!