A/N:
Hi everyone! :) Before you start throwing tables and chairs, I am so sorry I have not updated. I could go on and on about how I have not had time or I had really bad writer's block for a while or how I lacked the motivation to write. I could but I am in college now and to say I was not ready is an understatement. Anyways, I considered deleting this story because I could not update AND I felt really bad after I read the messages quite a few people sent me. I am so sorry guys but I am NOT deleting the story, I will go it to the end. I just hope you guys stick around for the ride. I just have had a really difficult time with writing lately, I don't like anything I have written for my other story ideas. This is the one I like for the first time in months. I am gonna keep going for all those messages I got Lual94 and Saunder2 who guilted the crap out of me. Thank you everyone who messaged me or commented about not giving up! I hope I can make you guys proud. Thank you! You have no idea how this means to me. Thank you guys and This is chapter is dedicated to you guys. ^_^
Chapter 10
"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."
- Thich Nhat Hanh
"Daddy stop eating my eggs!" Iyzo giggles as Derek stole some eggs from her plate. She used her little hands to cover her face, trying to curb her laughter. Iyzo rolled her eyes at her father and sister as she finished up the rest of her food. I watched them from the doorway, no one noticed I was watching them like the creep I am. But it was a beautiful sight, a sight filled with love and happiness. I sight I rarely see anymore.
I don't know how long I have been standing here but watching Derek and these kids makes me want a family, even though I lack every maternal instinct known to mankind. I have never really thought of what it would be like to be pregnant or to be married. I have never really wanted that, I couldn't be in charge of a life. Taking care of someone else child is one thing, taking care of your own is another ball game. Yet, as I watch Derek and the kids, I want it. I want it all.
"Well are you just going to stand there?"
I snapped out of my life evaluation to see everyone staring at me. Iyzo with her little body, completely hidden by the massive table, Derek with his usual I-am-Derek-The-Great look on his face, and Incy with her usual emotion ridden expression.
I rapidly walk to the fridge and grab the milk. I reach for a bowl and spoon half a second later. I don't know why I am rushing. It just feels like I am intruding on a family moment and I do not belong.
"Are you okay?" Incy asked. I could hear the curiosity in her voice.
I simply nod and continue with making my cereal which by the way is for someone unknown reason taking ages. Like all I need to do is pour some cereal and milk, why so freaking long?
Okay, I am yelling at myself. Again.
"Chloe…. Why are you shaking?" Derek said, frowning
"I am? Oh sorry I guess. Urm…. I-I-I" Why am I stuttering? I always stutter at the worst times possible. Its always the wrong times.
"Okaay… my dad said he needs to talk to us so he is coming over in a few minutes." Derek said as he and the kids cleared off the table.
Just as I was about to probably stutter my answer,the doorbell ringed. Everyone exited the kitchen with Derek leading. Derek opened the door and Kit came in.
Greetings were exchanged, then Izyo and Incy went to do something else so we could talk.
Kit told me and Derek to have a seat.
This should be very fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ILoveYouGuys~~~~~~~~~~~
I rubbed my forehead as I tried to comprehend what Kit just explained. I look over at Derek who had his head in his hands.
I sighed, "So you are saying that they want to have the home inspection in two days? How can they do that?! Is that even legal?! I mean, they barely gave us a warning. Two days!"
"Chloe calm down. Despite the surprise, this is a good thing. This will finalize the adoption and we will be done dealing with the board. So we just have to put our heads together and figure something out." Kit explained
"But..h-h-" I started but shut my mouth when I couldn't finish my sentence.
"Dad, what exactly are they looking for? I know the board is looking for anything and everything they can use against me." Derek asked, ignoring my mini mental breakdown.
"Well, its simple. They want to go over the basics like do they have an adult to look after them? Are they going to school? Are they happy? Is the house child friendly? Is there a stable family dynamic? And etc."
"And how are we doing with that?" Derek pushed
"Well we are fine. However, the one thing that make become a problem is the stable family aspect of the deal. While you guys have the dynamic, its not exactly stable yet because the kids don't really know Chloe that well and it shows. It is explicitly obvious."
I sighed and continued to rub my temples. I guessed the problem would become me.
"And how can we fix that?" Derek continued
Of course, now I am a problem that needs to be fixed. I didn't ask for this. I did not ask to wake up married in vegas or to find out I would have stepchildren. One of which is I am pretty sure is afraid of me and the other completely and utterly dislikes me.
"Chloe? Chloe!"
I snapped out of my mental ranting, to face Derek and kit who looked slightly worried as he stared back at me.
"Did you hear what I said?" Kit asked reaching to touch my shoulder
"No. Sorry, can you repeat that?" I say quietly
"Well we need to make sure the inspector sees a loving home with loving parents. Especially with the fact that we made it seemed as though you are Derek's marriage was purposeful."
"How in the heck are we supposed to do that?! Incy doesn't even like me and Iyzo thinks I'm a strange lady who likes her daddy." I all but scream
Yeah I'm going crazy. I don't bother looking at Derek because he is probably just rolling his eyes at me.
"Well we have to make it work somehow or else the board could restart this whole process with less than a snap of a finger." Kit explained in his always calm and logically voice.
I looked over at Derek who had his head in his hands and I could feel the frustration coming off him in waves. He is aware of our chances of pulling this off. Which is very slim.
He could lose the kids he just got again?
How much can one family take?
How much more pretending I fit in this family can I take?
Maybe Aunt Lauren was right.
I should have listened.
I am such an idiot.