AJ couldn't resist from sleep if she tried. Once she had been seen to and given the necessary stitches she was needing, as well as changing into her own pyjamas that Punk had gone out and collected, she just couldn't keep her eyes open any longer.
Their daughter was fast asleep, able to be with them in the little bassinet beside AJ's bed, but their son unfortunately was taken away immediately after birth and had yet to be returned. Every time Punk asked a nurse or a doctor, they'd just tell him he was in good hands, and nothing more.
It was hard being in this helpless position. Especially when AJ had done so much, gone through so much pain, whilst he still stood hopeless and unknown to what was going on. He convinced her to sleep, being worried about her health as she tried to fight it, to see her son, but with Punk stroking her head and whispering to her that their son would be fine, she fell asleep right away.
"Mr Brooks. Can I speak to you for a moment?" A nurse asked in a whisper whilst poking her head through the door in the room AJ was resting in.
Punk nodded and got up from his hard seat, walking around the bed, looking at AJ and to his daughter who was asleep also, smiling with comfort, but still desiring to meet his son. Even just some information about him, if he was ok, where he was, it would mean a lot.
"Is he ok?" Punk asked. He was beginning to get frustrated now, "C'mon, she gave birth nearly four hours ago. You can't keep us waiting like this." Punk said as the nurse nodded.
"I know. I'm sorry." The nurse apologised, "I'm afraid your son isn't doing very well. He isn't breathing on his own at all. He's in intensive care just now." She explained as Punk ran his hands through his hair. It wasn't what he wanted to hear.
"Can't we see him or hold him?" Punk asked.
"You can see him. But I'm afraid you can't hold him just yet. Don't worry, sir. There are lots of babies who have to visit the intensive care unit after being born. We'll do everything we can take make sure he gets what he needs." She smiled to him, placing a hand on his arm, "You aren't alone." She nodded as Punk just sighed. Then how come he felt like it?
He'd never felt so overwhelmed, upset and happy at the one time before in his life. Overwhelmed from the thought of finally being a father. Happy from the fact their daughter was healthy, and their son was pulling through, just with some help. And sad because he had to watch the mother of his children, cry herself to sleep from fear of their precious son being ill or unhealthy.
"He isn't ill or anything?" Punk asked.
"No." The nurse promised, "We ran some tests. It's the first thing we do. He simply just doesn't have enough nutrients. He's weak. It seems to me like his sister has been stealing all the goodness from her mom and not letting him in on it. Sometimes it can happen." She said, "But if you ask me, a typical brother move." She said as Punk smiled to himself.
"Can I see him?" He asked. He knew AJ was sleeping, and maybe it was best he found out first, and he seen first, just to know and tell her what to expect.
"Yeah. Come with me." The nurse said as Punk followed her down the hall and into the intensive care unit.
He passed couples crowding round incubators, upset and frightened. He seen such tiny babies, some agonisingly small, some with difficulties, and some just poorly underweight. It was heartbreaking. Truly heartbreaking, and he never imagined himself to be here.
"He's over here." The nurse said, "He's rather perfect, I must say." She admired as Punk walked slowly over to the small incubator where his son was being monitored in, and helped to stay strong.
She was right. He was perfect. In every way imaginable. Besides from being tiny, he was perfect, just like his sister. His eyes were closed, and his chest was rising and falling in the rhythm of the oxygen being pumped into his small mouth, a small nasal cannula wrapped around under his nose, breaking his heart into a million pieces.
"It looks like the end of the world." The nurse nodded, "But he'll get better." She said, leaving the room, giving Punk some time alone as he looked on at his son, tapping the incubator with his finger with a sigh. He longed to hold him, just like he'd held his daughter. It seemed unfair that he was here, suffering. He seen that his incubator had a label on it waiting to be filled out.
He asked around for a pen and filled in the label. Caleb Phil Brooks. He proudly wrote his name in there like AJ had suggested. His weight (terrifying) and birth date and hour was already filled in, which meant he only had to fill in he and AJ's name under.
He hated seeing how small he was. He felt completely hopeless, and as a new father, he felt like he was doing everything wrong already.
AJ woke up later on that night, turning around to see Punk wide awake, feeding their newborn daughter, Harleen Reylissa Brooks. She had suggested they add in Punks mothers name into the name, which Punk was very much for the idea. His mother would be proud. And she would have loved to have meet them both so much. It saddened him that she wasn't here. Especially when he needed her. He didn't know what to do really.
"Where is he?" She said first, which was expected. She'd barely got a good sleep from thinking about their son, and if he was ok. And as she could see, he wasn't in the room. It was only Harleen, settled into her fathers chest after being fed.
"He's in intensive care." Punk explained to her, "He's not responding very well on his own, and he's not breathing right on his own." He said, seeing tears well up in her eyes, "The nurse said we've not to worry. Apparently they've seen it before with twins. It seems like little munchkin here was stealing all the goodness from him." He kissed his daughters head who was so innocent. She couldn't be blamed in all of this.
"So… we can't hold him or see him?" She asked with a lump in her throat.
"We can see him. I seen him earlier when you were sleeping." He said, "He's hooked up to a lot of stuff, and he looks..." He paused "So small." He whispered, "But he'll get better, AJ. And we'll be able to take him home. It might not be tomorrow, or the next day. Maybe not even this week. But he'll get better." He nodded as she sighed, rolling her head back on her pillow as tears rolled down her cheek. He would have dried them, but he had his hands full with the other most precious girl in his life now.
Harleen looked just like her mother, besides the eyes of course. Soft skin, whispy hair, naturally gorgeous and just heart stopping adorable. How could something so perfect come from him? He wondered anyway.
"I want to see him." She gurned like a child, looking over to her boyfriend. Even just a few hours of being a mother, she cared and loved her children more than anyone would ever know. Knowing her son was unable to be held, and had to be helped to survive physically hurt her.
"I'll call for a nurse..." He said, placing Harleen down in the bassinet and standing up and heading out of the room whilst AJ sat, leaning over the bassinet that Harleen was in, smiling down to her as she lay comfortably, staring right into her eyes, so much love for the baby girl had grown in just a short time, from both her and Punk.
"Itching to see him, April?" The nurse asked whilst coming into the room with Punk, "I'm gonna get you to stand up and walk around the room, see how you feel, and if you're good to go, I can take you to go see him. Ok?" She smiled as AJ nodded.
The nurses and doctors here were all so pleasant and wonderful. She supposed they had to be when dealing with so many unfortunate things.
"I'll get another nurse to come in and get Harleen settled for bed." The nurse explained as AJ threw the covers from her, standing up slowly whilst Punk helped her. She had her own pyjamas on along with a zipper sweater to keep her warm. She hadn't ate all day and she was still exhausted, but she was determined to walk fine, just to see her son.
"How do you feel?" The nurse asked as AJ managed to walk around by herself, of course still sore and uncomfortable, but able to do it.
"Ok." She replied.
"Ok. Phil knows the way. He can take you. I'll get Harleen settled for bed." She said as AJ nodded, allowing Punk to take her to where their son was. She was nervous to see what he looked like. Punk had told her he had some tubes around his nose and in his mouth. That his little eyes were closed and he was one of the tiniest babies in the room. But that didn't mean she didn't believe he could be strong.
She walked into the room where one other couple were sitting over around one of the incubators. The couple looked exhausted and tired, as if they had been here for days. Her heart reached out to them as she turned around and focused on where Punk was leading her, into the corner of the room, around a small incubator.
She walked forward and looked upon their son, not being able to help her tears as she seen how small and weak he looked. She just wanted to hold him and tell him it'd be ok, like any normal mother, but she couldn't. His life was in the hands of these machines. He looked so fragile and tiny. It was hard to see.
"Please don't cry." Punk shook his head. It was exactly how he was feeling on the inside. He just wasn't showing it on the outside. He was trying his best to be strong.
"He looks so small." She swallowed her lumpy throat, gasping as she looked down on the tiny baby boy, pressing her hand against the glass that was surrounding him, just longing to even touch him.
"I know." Punk nodded, "He'll get better." He said, only hoping he could keep that promise. It was hard enough to see his son struggling, but to see his girlfriend a broken mess because of it all was horrid. He never thought it would be like this. He imagined it to be beautiful, and special. In his mind he imagined them going home in the morning, with both babies. Taking them home and into their new room, his brother coming round to meet his nephew and niece. A quiet but memorable celebration. But Caleb wasn't having the best of times here, and it hurt to see. So much.
"Do you think I did something wrong?" She looked up at him with fear, tears still streaming down her cheeks as he sighed.
"Of course you didn't." He sighed, "These things happen." He told her, "We aren't alone in here." He said whilst looking around at the other unwell or premature babies, "He'll get stronger." He said as AJ just sobbed, collapsing into his chest as she refused to look at her son for any longer, not being able to do so from the sheer heartbreak.
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