After seeing baby Caleb, Punk took AJ back to her room, and managed to help her fall asleep. She was terribly upset, and was uncontrollably crying for the majority of the time in the intensive care unit. He hated seeing her so upset. He only wished there was something he could do.
Harleen was fast asleep now too, just like her mother, lying in her bassinet beside the bed where AJ was out cold on. She'd had a terrible day. From giving birth early hours in the morning, to being in pain and uncomfortable, to having their baby boy took away, only to be told she couldn't hold him or touch him. It had been painful, and he hoped tomorrow would bring some light their way.
He took the opportunity to go home and get showered and possibly take a nap of his own. He couldn't go another night sleeping on the chair in the corner of the room. He'd make sure he was up early to be here when AJ woke, to help her with Harleen and to see how Caleb was getting on.
He got home and showered immediately, enjoying the refreshing warm water soaking him completely. It was a shock that the babies were even here, and even more a shock that one of them weren't doing too well on their first day on the planet. He never even thought about the what if's whilst AJ was pregnant. He was assuming they would both be perfectly healthy and happy babies.
He felt completely hopeless and useless, and even though he didn't show it or express it, looking down at Caleb, seeing him struggle to pick up a correct breathing rhythm, his tiny little body so fragile and delicate, it broke his heart into two, and it physically hurt to look at the sight.
Of course he had sent a message to everyone close to them, letting them know the babies were born, their names and genders of course, but also giving everyone the heads up that Caleb wasn't very good, and that AJ probably wasn't up to visitors any time soon.
He came downstairs after his shower to make something quick to eat when there was a knock at the front door. He made his way from the kitchen out into the hallway, sweatpants and a loose t-shirt on, opening the door to see his brother standing with two gift bags. One pink and one blue.
"Hey." Sean smiled, "You doing ok?" He asked whilst inviting himself into the house as Punk shut the door behind him.
"I'm ok." Punk said, running his hand through his hair whilst Sean made his way into the living room, handing him over the gift bags for his new niece and nephew, "Thanks." Punk smiled gratefully, sitting the bags down beside the couch.
"So the little guy isn't doing good, huh?" Sean asked, placing his hands in his jean pockets.
"No. Not really." Punk shook his head, "April is really upset about it. We can't touch him or hold him." He explained, "It's shit."
"I can't imagine what it feels like." Sean said, "But I'm sure he'll get stronger. If it's just his weight and health they're worried about, it can't be that bad. At least he isn't sick." Sean pointed out as Punk nodded.
"I know." Punk said, "That's what I'm trying to tell April. I know he'll get better and stronger. The nurses and doctors in there are great. But April is still upset." He said, "I feel pretty useless." He admitted to his younger brother.
"Well don't. Even just being there will be helping AJ. He'll get stronger." Sean made sure his brother knew that, "What are you gonna do? Are you gonna take Harleen home with AJ tomorrow?" He asked.
"I don't know yet." Punk said, "It feels so wrong. Taking them home separately. You know… they're twins. They should be together. They're meant to come home together." Punk sighed.
"I think the main thing you gotta do right now, is have some patience, Phil." Sean said, "I know it'll take some time. And it might be the case that Caleb stays in hospital for a few weeks. But he will come home eventually. You and AJ just gotta be positive." Sean said.
"Easier said than done." Punk said, "He looks so small. It's the first time in my life, where I've not been able to do anything to help someone I love. I always know what to do or say, but all I can do is just stand there, watch AJ break her heart, and my son suffering inside a little box." He sighed.
Sean felt bad for his brother. Extremely bad. He knew how much Punk had been preparing for the twins to get here. He'd been doing everything he could to try and become the best father he possibly could be, before they even got here, and now that Caleb wasn't doing too well, everything he'd learned about being a father these past few months had just slipped his mind.
"You still gonna propose?" Sean asked curiously.
"I don't think so." Punk shook his head, "I was gonna do it the minute they were born. But they took Caleb away as soon as he was born. I guess I sort of forget and got distracted, and now… I don't think it's the right time." He admitted.
He had planned to propose to AJ once she had given birth to the twins. He'd bought the ring and thought it would be a sweet gesture to do so whilst having their newborns in her arms. There was no doubt about it, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with AJ, and he did want to marry her. It was a big step for him, but he felt like he was ready, especially since they had been preparing to have the babies, but everything hadn't really went according to plan, and he wasn't sure proposing would be the same when their son was in an intensive care unit.
"Maybe it would cheer her up." Sean shrugged.
"Nah." Punk shook his head, "I don't want her to think back to the time I proposed and remember it as the time when our son was attached to machines in an intensive care unit." Punk said, "I can wait until I feel it's right again." He said as Sean nodded.
"Well there's no rush. Maybe it's good that you just focus on Caleb." He said as Punk nodded.
"I'm not worried about that so much anyway. I'll find a right time soon enough. I'm just worried about AJ. She's barely sleeping. Took me an hour of lying beside her tonight just for her to shut her eyes. She's barely ate all day." Punk explained, exhausted himself, running his hand over his face tiredly.
"I guess the only thing you can do is be there for her. Things will get better." He said. Normally things were the other way around. Normally Punk, the older brother, was giving his little brother the comfort and advice. He guessed Sean had grown up in the family man stage much earlier than him, "I can't even imagine how you feel. TJ was two weeks late." Sean smiled, "He will get better." He patted his brothers arm comfortingly as Punk nodded.
Punk believed Caleb would get stronger and better. But it was just hard right now to see him so small, and to see AJ so upset about it. They should have been home tonight. All three of them, with him, all perfectly happy and healthy. It was just going to take some time, and for his son, he'd give all the time in the world.
Sean eventually left and Punk fell asleep on the couch, crashing out completely from being awake for so long. He made sure he set an alarm for the next morning so he would be up early to go see if AJ was ok, and to see his daughter and son. As far as he knew, AJ and Harleen were allowed to come home today, but baby Caleb had to stay.
The car seats were in the car already anyway, along with a bag with two baby grows for them, so even if Harleen wasn't coming home for some reason, they were there anyway.
He trailed through the hospital, slight envy whilst seeing parents leave the maternity ward with their newborns. He headed into the room AJ was in, smiling as he seen her sitting up in bed, looking much brighter with Harleen in her arms, feeding the baby girl who was showing no sign of distress, quite the content little thing.
"Hey." AJ smiled in a whisper, "You ok?" She asked him as he nodded.
"Yeah." Punk nodded, "I got some sleep." He said, "You ok?" He asked back as she nodded.
"I'm ok." She nodded.
AJ woke up feeling a bit brighter than yesterday. She was allowed to take a shower today with the help of a nurse, and was back in bed in clean pyjamas. She felt much better for it, and much more refreshed. And not to mention, being with her daughter, cradling her, although missing her son, it was soothing enough to pass the hours by.
"How is Caleb?" Punk asked her, incase any nurses had dropped by with any news.
"He's better." AJ nodded positively, watching him as he placed his sweater over the back of the chair beside the bed, taking a seat as she explained what the nurse had explained to her, "He's breathing better now. They're going to try taking him off the ventilator tonight, to see how he goes. She told me that we could take Harleen home in the morning. The intensive care unit is open to all parents twenty four seven." She explained, "I asked when they think he'll be able to come home. But they didn't really give me an answer." She admitted.
"Well, at least he's doing better." Punk smiled, "We can visit him when we take Harleen home. I'm sure my brother won't mind looking after her, or I'm sure it wouldn't matter if she came with us in her stroller. She isn't going to make much noise. And I'm sure she misses her brother." He said, reaching over and stroking Harleen's soft, velvet head that rested into AJ's arm whilst she was being fed.
"As long as we get to be with both of them." AJ said. She hated that her twins were separated from each other at this moment in time. They should have been together, like twins were destined to be. It broke her heart that her son was unable to get by on his own, and it broke her heart even more when she looked into Punks eyes and seen how much it was killing him. He wouldn't say, but she knew he was completely heartbroken just like she was, at the sight of Caleb in his little incubator, breathing tubes around his nose and down his mouth. It would break any normal parents heart. She only wished it could be simpler.
"We will. I promise." He nodded, "He'll get stronger, April. We just have to be patient. It isn't going to happen overnight. But he'll get there." He nodded as AJ smiled.
"I know." She nodded, "I was just tired yesterday, and upset… overwhelmed too. I couldn't believe I'd actually had them at times." She admitted, looking down at Harleen and smiling, "She's perfect." She gasped as Punk smiled. This was the AJ he needed. The strong one. Otherwise he was nothing.
"She is." Punk agreed. Harleen was a beautiful baby. So was Caleb of course. They were both little cherubs sent from heaven. Little angel, innocent faces that he could see so much of himself in. Although it was tough with Caleb being in care at the moment, they had to think about the positives, and that was that the babies were here, and although not all completely well, they were still here and in the safest arms they could ever be in. Their parents.
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