AN: Wow, so apparently you guys are not happy with Bella or Edward! I hope that this chapter will put some of you at ease, even though you kind of hate my guts right now. A third party perspective should help clear up all of your troubles. There will be a HEA (in one form or another) but this story has a clear direction, and if you're willing to stick with it, I'll get you there eventually. We all knew this story wouldn't be a bed of roses all the time.

If you're not down with that, please close this story and go fuck yourself, because I really don't care.

Enjoy!

"Something's changed."

Garrett looks unmoved by my statement.

"Bella, you'll be going through alot of changes in the near future as we help you to get back to a healthier way of thinking. You shouldn't fear it, it's all part of your recovery."

His pre-packaged answer irritates me to no end.

"No... with Edward. It's not the same anymore."

This is obviously interesting news to him, and he leans forward slightly in his chair.

"How so?"

I explain everything, forcing myself not to skim over the details I'd rather not discuss because I know that if I'm not honest, he can't help me. I tell him about our successful attempt at getting physically involved, which he commends despite looking a little awkward, then go on to tell him about the second, failed attempt.

"You got carried away and didn't think, I assume," he states with a slight, teasing quirk of his lips.

I nod, embarrassed beyond belief at the topic of conversation.

"I'd hoped it'd be better once we got through the first time," I admit, dropping my head to break eye contact.

"Bella," he says in a placating tone, "none of these measures are one-stop cures for anything. It's about re-adjusting, easing your way back into situations which, in the time of the crisis you went through, your mind has rejected. You'll get there - I have no doubt about that, but it will take time."

I nod, and then continue my story. I tell him, quite proudly, about Edward's decision to seek therapy, but all the pride in my voice seeps out when I get to the part of the story involving our parents. Garrett is apparently already aware that we'll have to be involved in the prosecution of the men, and tells me that Carlisle informed him so that he could help me prepare myself for it. This doesn't surprise me, so I continue, reaching the part about Edward leaving, my trip to Alice and the consequent weirdness that has been plaguing me since.

"He just left me there," I finally conclude, "and now I feel like... I don't know. We were always meant to look out for each other, and he just left me behind because he was angry. I know I handled things so poorly, but I was so... shocked, I guess? It hurt me so much, even more than I thought it would."

I can't keep the forlorn note out of my voice when I say this, and I can't meet Garrett's eyes. I feel so weak, something that Edward always helped to combat, rather than being the source. I can't help the childish resentment that festers in the back of my mind.

"Bella," he states, in a soothing way that is oddly foreboding. "I'm not sure you're going to like what I'm about to tell you, but I'm not one to sugarcoat and I think it's something you need to hear."

I nod but pull my legs up to my chest, trying to settle the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"What's happening between you and Edward... it's not unexpected at all. Actually, it's something that I knew would happen, and honestly, I'm pleased you've reached this point so soon."

"What do you mean?" I ask, my voice louder than normal. "You wanted me to stop trusting Edward? You told me you were okay with our relationship, that you would help me make it normal with him, but you're happy that I can't trust him?"

My breathing is getting faster as anger consumes me.

"I trusted you to help me and you're trying to take him away from me? Have you been doing this the whole time, trying to turn me against him? Why would you do that? Did Edward's parents tell you to try and get rid of me or something?"

I'm very nearly screaming now, my arms thrown up in the air as I berate Dr Reynolds.

"Bella, calm down," he states evenly.

"No!" I stand up, too angry to remain seated or even attempt a pretense of civility. "I can't believe you'd do this to me! I trusted you!"

He holds my gaze until I eventually stop speaking.

"Please take a seat, and I'll finish my explanation."

Furiously, I flop back down on the seat, but only because I want to know why he'd do something so awful to me despite my faith in him.

"Bella, I'm not trying to turn you against Edward. Yes, your relationship with him isn't necessarily healthy for you, and I've been very honest with on my feelings about it, but I wouldn't try to manipulate you into leaving him if you didn't want to do that. I am a professional, and my trying to coerce you into something would serve neither of us."

As he says the words my anger subsides, embarrassment in it's place as I realise how theatrical and paranoid I sounded.

I'm just trying to blame Garrett for the last few awful days.

"Then why are you happy?"

"Because Bella, you're finally starting to realise that Edward isn't a superhero. I know it hurts, but the rose-colored glasses are coming off, and this is the start of what will hopefully be a normal relationship between the two of you, if that's what you want."

Normally, when he questions my commitment to Edward, I immediately interject, swearing fervently that he is absolutely what I want. This time, however, I remain silent and Garrett continues uninterrupted.

"Edward is an eighteen year old boy who has been through some horrible trauma, Bella. He's going to make mistakes, and he's not perfect. What happened between the two of you has led you to form opinions of each other that, while comforting, aren't rational. As much as it hurts, disappointment is an inevitability that you will need to get used to in life. Just like anyone else, Edward will do things that make you sad or even angry, and the fact that you're upset by his actions instead of blindly accepting that he knows best means that you're on the path to realising that.

"I know you feel disillusioned right now, but in reality, you're getting to know Edward in a way that you didn't know him before. This is a very good thing in terms of the two of you having a normal relationship, even if it doesn't seem like it just now."

He smiles softly, and gives me a few moments to mull over his words before he continues.

"You were able to go with Alice, to rely on her for support and comfort instead of solely relying on Edward. I know it may not feel like it, but the codependence you and Edward share is not good for either of you and being able to reach outside of your little bubble for help is absolutely a step in the right direction."

"But it hurts so much," I very nearly whimper.

"I know it does, Bella, but I promise you that the pain will be worth it. When your feelings for Edward transform into real trust - and even love - it will all be worth it.

"The events of your kidnapping mean that your mind has been forced into something of a more primal state. Rather than the logic that we normally use to deal with any challenging situation, you have reverted to relying on instinct. You think, and understandably so considering the circumstances, that Edward is the only person who can protect you - the only person you can rely on. Logically speaking, we both know that is not true.

"Now that you're back in the world, your instinctive reliance on him is starting to be combatted by your returning sense of logic, and it's confusing and at times painful. That's why I'm here, to help you see that while comforting in the immediate term, that instinct is not healthy. We will get you there, but it's going to take time and effort, and unfortunately, some unpleasant times for both of you as you readjust to the real world and what it means to have a relationship with someone."

I nod absently as I try to process his words. His ability to put things in perspective for me never fails to reassure and frighten me at the same time.

Logic versus instinct.

"In the mean time, I want you to think on something, even though it might hurt. Look at your relationship with Edward, and I want you to consider which parts are based on the feelings you have for him, and your desire to be with him, and which are based on the fear of what may happen to you - or to him - if you weren't with him."

"I do want to be with him," I murmur reflexively.

"I know you do, Bella, but I'm asking you to think about why."

As Esme drives me home from my session, I'm in something of a daze, thinking over what Garrett said to me. Alot of it was very unpleasant to hear, but I couldn't help but consider if there was any validity in what he'd asked me to do.

When I think of Edward, my first thought is usually how much I need him... it had never occured to me that that might not be the right way to look at things. I want him in my life, absolutely, but I know that the compulsive urge to have him around me constantly is not reasonable.

I should want him, not need him.

This thought drives me into a deeper abstraction. If I didn't have the constant need to have him in my sight, to know what he's doing and that he's safe, how much would I want him around? How much would he want me around?

When I can't formulate an answer to those questions, I start to worry. This isn't right.

We're not right - everything that has transpired in the last few days has proven that.

And we're not going to get better until one of us does something about it.

Esme pulls up to the house and I slowly walk inside, too caught up in my frightening thoughts to really pay attention to my surroundings. I think I know what I need to do, but every fibre of the frightened, traumatized girl that lives inside me is screaming out in protest.

Wrong. Not safe.

Never, in the time since I've been seeing Garrett, have the two parts of me fought against each other so strongly. Bella the kidnapping victim and Bella the normal girl - the two cannot exist together harmoniously, and I know which one I want to be. I also know which one is dominant at the moment, and ignoring it goes against everything that was so brutally ingrained in me during those forty seven days.

You can't do this, you won't survive it, the victim in me screams. What if something happens? It will be your fault and you can't do that, you need him too much.

I try as hard as I can to subdue the instinctive panic, to let logic prevail, but it's exhausting. As I drag my body through the house to try and locate Edward, I wish desperately for the calming feeling he always gave me, hoping against hope that when I reach him, I'll be able to retrieve it.

I find him in the sunroom on the couch, reading a book. The light hits his hair and face in such a lovely way.

"Hey you," I greet as I walk over to him. He sets the book down on the small table beside him and opens his arms to me, an invitation I accept after a brief hesitation that I hope he doesn't notice. I'm trying so hard to override my compulsion to be close to him out of pure habit, and it's making me overthink everything.

Do I want to sit with him, or do I do it because I feel like there's no alternative?

I settle beside him and smile a little when he pulls my legs over his lap, leaving me stretched lengthways across the couch. He smiles back as he takes to absently stroking the skin of my calves, almost as if he doesn't realise he's even doing it.

"So my dad made some calls today," he says. "I'm going to be seeing a... therapist," he struggles slightly over the word, "named Marcus, starting tomorrow."

He struggles over the words, his hands tightening on me slightly as he says them. Instinctively I place a hand over his in a comforting gesture.

"I'm proud of you."

My words are full of sincerity, because he'll never know just how proud I am. I can only hope that this Marcus will help him through it, and will help him see what I doubt he'll believe when I tell him myself.

That this is the only chance we have.

"Edward, I have to talk to you about something."